[quote]Duke wrote:
… it’s just plain fucked up and there’s no way out. Knowing that a smart fella like you is also having issues, gives me hope that I’m not a total loser… please… keep posting Doc… please…[/quote]
Not to hijack, but Duke, there is a way out. Trust me, I have been to the depths of the depression shit hole and found my way out. You can too. Loser, not in the least, challenged…quite so!!
Doc, Duke and j_willy,
Keep on keeping on. That is what I get when I read this. Doc as you know there are so many people out there that need HEAD help and don’t even know it. I believe that I am lucky and have it better than most. I see so many people everyday walking the streets of Manhattan that aren�??t looking for a hand out. They are looking for some genuine HELP! So hard to ask for because despite what we see, hear, read and are force fed many Americans are a pretty proud bunch. Someone told me to take unemployment because I needed help. I am not better for not taking it. I am worse because I didn�??t realize that I need to ask another human being for help. For some that is the single hardest thing anyone can do. I like to help animals because they can�??t help themselves. I have come to find in my own hard times many people are the same way.
We get desensitized and think that if we feel some of these things we are WEAK. Gentlemen you are not weak. It is called the human race and like any race some legs are going to be good and some legs are not. Then there are the legs that people do not talk about. The leg where all you want to do is quit. With every fiber of your being you can not fathom taking another step. People are made to feel ashamed to talk about it because somewhere along the way someone said it was not right to feel like that. Well my friends that is complete 100% HORSESHIT!
You do not know the feeling unless you wake up one day; stare at that ceiling and GET IT. I never did till one day it reached out and GOT ME. The words cold chill can not begin to describe how empty and alone I was. Point being, FIGHT and if you are getting your ass kicked ask for help. I will jump in and fight with ya, even if no one else comes to our aid. Life is way too short not to help the man standing next to you. Chances are he will help you before it is all said and done.
No Hijack Brother - thanks for speaking up.
My brother sent me this quote late one night when things weren’t looking so good:
"Somewhere along the line you changed. . . you stopped being you. . .you let someone stick a finger in your face and tell you that you are no good. And when things got hard, you started looking for something to blame. . . like a big shadow. Let me tell you something you already know. . . the world aiant all sunshine and rainbows. . . it is a very mean and nasty place. . and I do not care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me or nobody is ever gonna hit as hard as life. But it aiant about how hard you hit. . . It is about how hard you can get hit and keep MOVIN FORWARD, how much you can take and KEEP MOVIN FORWARD. That is how winnin is done. If you know what you are worth go out and get what you are worth. But you have got to be willing to take the hits, and not pointin fingers because you aiant where you want to be because of him or her or ANYBODY.
COWARDS DO THAT! - AND THAT AIANT YOU!"
It is from the last Rocky movie. Every time I read it I think of my brother. Makes the punches not hurt so much.
YAHOO!!! I’M NOT ALONE!!!
Damn you guys are great! I wish I could meet you fella’s one day.
I always considered myself to be a strong guy - in spirit and attitude at the very least but having the “black dog” now keeping me company makes me feel lower than dirt and weak.
Hearing from ALL you guys just kicked that dog’s arse for today - thank you kindly gentlemen! (thanks for the offer of PM Doc, but I’m sure you have enough on your plate and I enjoy your posts - so keep it up mate)
The great posts just keep coming…
THere’s one thing I have struggled with, not sure I have it figured it out completely. Follow along:
“Mental toughness is a quaility of mind which is essential to life, the absence of which will inevitably lead to failure, the cultivation of which will lead to gradual and progressive success.”
I wrote that in a journal of ideas I had when I was THIRTEEN. I still think it is true, but I did not forsee all the variables of life which can undermine one's ability to BE mentally tough. For instance, Vince Lombardi's famous quote:
"Fatigue makes cowards of us all."
So does sleep deprivation, hormone deficiencies, and many other INTERNAL factors, not to mention external stresses.
So being mentally tough includes being smart, tuned into your body's needs, tuning out all the crap around you, and this intangible amount of allowable "weakness" we can give into, such as being sentimental, crying, grieving, and so forth.
I dont mind tough challenges, in fact I welcome many of them, its just I can't stand when I feel mentally and physically so exhausted that I don't even want to get out of bed. Sometimes that's depression, sometimes its my damn thyroid not working, sometimes its a night where I got called every fifteen minutes by the hospital. I never used to have this feeling of exhaustion when I was younger...this is the question. How much of this is a part of aging that I have to accept? I don't want to accept a damn bit of it. Doc
[quote]Dr.PowerClean wrote:
I don’t want to accept a damn bit of it. Doc
[/quote]
As I read this I realize a really cool thing. You aren’t accepting it one damn bit!
Well, I got a workout story. I’m training at my new clubhouse gym, its OK but the multipurpose machine only goes to 180, so stacking benches and pulldowns isnt so great, getting lots of reps in. I decide, in order to get a better burn, to do “Joe Weider Giant Sets,”, doing one big set of pulldowns, benches, cable rows and machine flyes without stopping. Actually quite a pump maker.
So after my second giant set this dude comes in, about 40, dressed in immaculate workout gear, and led into the gym by a hardbodied, cute personal trainer. She leads him around like a dog, doing lunges, swiss ball, oned hand pushups and some things I dont even know what to call. I find this mildly amusing, enjoy a glance at the trainer, but otherwise turn up my ipod so I dont have to hear about “core this and core that.”
Now, the annoying part. This gym weenie wants to interrupt my giant sets, and wants to do cable rows. Except HE doesnt have the balls to ask, the trainer does! I say OK. Now he really irritates me by doing 20 v e r y s l o w reps with about 30 lbs, huffing and puffing and acting like he is THE MAN. He has now crossed into full gym weenie status. When I follow, midway through my fourth giant set, I do twelve reps with the 180, its so easy and I think Barry would kick my ass for even wasting my time at this weight, so I just drop off one hand, and do 12 more with just my left, switch over and do 12 with my right. And I do them SLOWLY. Well, this was perfect, actually quite hard, and completely dispirited the gym weenine and he asked the trainer to move on to the next excercise with ten pound dumbells.
Am I a Meanie? Hah, I dont care, I got to find my fun where I can get it, and the trainer smiled at me so I knew it was worth it. Doc
Great story Doc and I do not thik it is mean at all. Some times in life I find get a little reality reset. Sorta like when you see a gu built like an oak tree that no one talks to at the gm and you take 5 minutes to speak to him. Turns out he is a doctor and has a wife and 3 kids, coaches the high school chess team and just won a nobel prize.
See some guy in the club house gym 1 arming 180lb stacks while I am struggling with my 3 sets of 10 routine my trainer gave me might hit that little reality reset button and make me think.
Then again maybe it would not.
I like that you did have a little fun with it. Always makes me feel good to make a pretty little hardbody smile.
[quote]Dr.PowerClean wrote:
… He has now crossed into full gym weenie status.
Doc[/quote]
Love that line. Can’t wait to use it. Barry is quickly becoming my patron saint of back lifts. Goin get a little statue of him for my dashboard.
Doc… you had a great clarity of mind and introspect even at 13 years of age.
Life has a way of muddying the waters…
[quote]bunny7568 wrote:
Doc… you had a great clarity of mind and introspect even at 13 years of age.
Life has a way of muddying the waters…[/quote]
Great comment, bunny. I don't know you, but i read your profile, holy shit, it gave me goosebumps. Well written and inspirational, especially relevant in that YOURS TRULY suffers from the same syndrome of unclear lifting goals. Finding what is at once most rewarding, most effective, and most realistic given age and injuries is the challenge we all face.
I admire folks like HT and his “gang” who dont seem to suffer from this syndrome, they do what they do without the mental meanderings and waverings I am prone to.
I look forward to more of your posts. Doc
That a boy Doc. I’d have probably said something very stupid. Hel, I trust i’ll get a portion of the bobblehead. Doc, 180 would be great for pull throughs, they’ll eat your hams up. A greaT WEEKEND TO ALL.
We all have “the mental meanderings and waverings”. Read most of the posts on here and look at how many different trial and errors everyone goes through. One day they’ll be setting PRs and the next day have a crap workout. Time to change the lifts. Even at our age we’re still looking for that magic routine. The one where we can do all the lifts, have all the equipment we need, makes us massively strong and well built, and shows immediate results. Let me know when someone finds it.
[quote]hel320 wrote:
We all have “the mental meanderings and waverings”. Read most of the posts on here and look at how many different trial and errors everyone goes through. One day they’ll be setting PRs and the next day have a crap workout. Time to change the lifts. Even at our age we’re still looking for that magic routine. The one where we can do all the lifts, have all the equipment we need, makes us massively strong and well built, and shows immediate results. Let me know when someone finds it.[/quote]
And handsomer.
I’ve got it, but it’ll cost you 250.00 the first installment of my Secrets of the Super Pump, Strength-Builder Makeover workout. After purchasing 3 installments, for an extra 500.00 I’ll let you into the “Inner Circle” of the Strength and Smelling Good magical secrets juju men…
[quote]j_willy3 wrote:
Duke wrote:
… it’s just plain fucked up and there’s no way out. Knowing that a smart fella like you is also having issues, gives me hope that I’m not a total loser… please… keep posting Doc… please…
Not to hijack, but Duke, there is a way out. Trust me, I have been to the depths of the depression shit hole and found my way out. You can too. Loser, not in the least, challenged…quite so!!
[/quote]
There is always a way out. If nothing else, one lift at a time with the iron, but there is always a way out.
[quote]hel320 wrote:
We all have “the mental meanderings and waverings”. Read most of the posts on here and look at how many different trial and errors everyone goes through. One day they’ll be setting PRs and the next day have a crap workout. Time to change the lifts. Even at our age we’re still looking for that magic routine. The one where we can do all the lifts, have all the equipment we need, makes us massively strong and well built, and shows immediate results. Let me know when someone finds it.[/quote]
Man, sign me up for the no plateaus work out too.
Really. I can make my calves grow just by walking into the gym. My back gets stronger just by hanging out while I type. But back four or five years and my arms are still pathetic.
Glad the gym is so close to the house.
Just got back from the gym. I started the shotgun workout 11 days ago and the change has been great.
I had drifted into a sea of unorganised movements with very wide guidelines… “I think I’ll work back and biceps today” and then I’d meander from area to area without a glimmer of focus. Oh I’d move some heavy weight alright and I’d get out plenty of sets, but that was the extent of my planning.
The shotgun workout has me thinking about my body parts, my goals, planning my workouts more and recording the weights.
My whole upper body is aching and I sleep much better lately. My body weight has also started to increase a little, all good signs. (after losing 6kg in 4 weeks)
Not a magic routine by any means but the magic is in regularly challenging the body and the mind to new and exciting routines and measuring the progress and altering the routines every month or so.
Duke, good to see u back in the gym and sounding better. I was just thinking of you, cause you used the term “black dog” when discussing your depression recently. Here in the states most people would have no clue what you meant, but I read a bio on Winston Churchill many years ago, and apparently it was he who coined the term the “Black dog was on my back” to describe his notorious depressions.
I thought I had rid myself of the black dog myself but it made a reappearance this week. A patient died unexpectedly, many other tough events. The oddest; even though the wife and I are not together at the moment, I was with her several months ago when HER doctor down in CR made several passes at her. He dodged my calls for months, today I finally got him and I threatened the man with his life. I mean I totally lost it, this guy may be hiring bodyguards or notifying the authorities as we speak I was so furious.
My wife was pleased, perhaps I am going through various tests of my "worthiness."
I am tired of such tests. But I suppose it tells me what I feel is worth fighting for. I need to get that fire back for lifting, it drifted off again.
Doc
Doc… gotta keep your cool my friend. The last thing you need at this moment is a criminal charge on you conscious… and your dossier.
I undersdtand the anger, but channel it to a useful tool… or it will eat you up inside.
If you really want to get in the man’s head… don’t verbally threaten him outright, especially when there are witnesses.
Be as nice as pie. Smile at him, be courteous, compliment him… all the while looking the man straight in the eye and gritting your teeth while speaking to him.
To say something like “Gee (insert name here), I really hope nothing bad happens to you when you go to sleep tonight, or on your way home this afternoon”.
Or, “Wow, what a beautiful dog/ cat etc… how much do you love that dog/ cat etc.?”
You get my drift… a little inuendo never hurt anyone… how can you be blamed if they interpret it the wrong way… lol!
[quote]bunny7568 wrote:
Doc… gotta keep your cool my friend. The last thing you need at this moment is a criminal charge on you conscious… and your dossier.
I undersdtand the anger, but channel it to a useful tool… or it will eat you up inside.
If you really want to get in the man’s head… don’t verbally threaten him outright, especially when there are witnesses.
Be as nice as pie. Smile at him, be courteous, compliment him… all the while looking the man straight in the eye and gritting your teeth while speaking to him.
To say something like “Gee (insert name here), I really hope nothing bad happens to you when you go to sleep tonight, or on your way home this afternoon”.
Or, “Wow, what a beautiful dog/ cat etc… how much do you love that dog/ cat etc.?”
You get my drift… a little inuendo never hurt anyone… how can you be blamed if they interpret it the wrong way… lol![/quote]
Good advice, I’m learning all sorts of stuff…I feel like I’m in Unexpected New Life Challenges 101. Doc