Hey, Doc.
I’m sure the last thing you need is advice, but do know that more than one of us here has been through the same mess – lost my marriage, lost my job, lost everything I had, lost hope, but made it through with people who believed in me. Hold tight, stay close, and let us know how you are.
And keep lifting. If nothing else, it’s critical to self esteem and mental health.
Mike.
[quote]sdspeedracer wrote:
Hey, Doc.
I’m sure the last thing you need is advice, but do know that more than one of us here has been through the same mess – lost my marriage, lost my job, lost everything I had, lost hope, but made it through with people who believed in me. Hold tight, stay close, and let us know how you are.
And keep lifting. If nothing else, it’s critical to self esteem and mental health.
Mike.[/quote]
Damn good post. I joined T-Nation thinking I had life by the balls and just eager to share my post-50 OL comeback. Little did I know I would encounter all of these life challenges. T-Nation has helped with so much more than just training advice. Doc
[quote]Dr.PowerClean wrote:
j_willy3 wrote:
Doc,
From a swamp rat, with a questionable education. You ain’t crazy, it’s the rest of the world that is f*@ked up!
It's posts like this that will keep me on this site forever. Doc[/quote]
Glad you are staying here.
Blood on the iron. Good training partners are hard to come by and great to have. When it’s all said and done though, it’s still only you. I keep posting here because I think for some of us it’s more than a matter of losing weight or looking good. Maybe were the lost boys. I don’t know, you’re the doc. I like the way you look at lifting, obsessive as it is. Guess I’ll have to agree with Barry and keep haunting you. Records only 308,hum?
Don’t despair Doc…maybe he wasn’t the right one. Having been through my share of training partners, I just prefer training alone. Don’t get me wrong, when i hook up with the stepson, it’s all fine and dandy, BUT it’s not what I crave. I hate doing all those reps with little rest…I’m not cut out for it. I prefer to count on myself & do my own thing.
Honestly, when it comes to muscle endurance and CVR endurance I couldn’t be a “pimple on most people’s ass”. Give me sets of 5-6 reps or less and ~3mins rest, and I’m on you like white to rice. After all my long-winded rambling about stuff not really about what I started to say, the right partner is harder to find than a spouse…the chemistry, the goals, the inner drive, strength, unselfishness, promptness, responsibility, ARE HARD TO FIND THESE DAYS WRAPPED UP IN ONE PERSON…I wish you luck, but maybe you’d be better off w/o a no-show partner than with just you for awhile.
Art
I just discovered this thread and read the whole thing right through.
Great stuff-- good to know you’re here, Doc. This is a great group of folks around here-- you’re in good company.
I’d just like to add that sometimes a cigar is not just a cigar… 
Doc, it’s pretty neat you have all of us crazy’s behind you. Put this in a book and your troubles are over. You have to get our crew Oprah tickets when you’re on the show. A fabulous weekend to ya.
Doc, I have been reading your thread for many months, and my heart goes out to you. I was inspired by your initial story to get back to competitive OL levels and marveled at your own observations about the success you were having. It at least got me started in my own efforts at restoring my physical well-being. Lifting is very personally satisfying and rewarding. And it is something we can do and have control. We control our own destiny in lifting, and the success is truly because of our own drive, motivation, and execution. The success is ours.
Now I look for your thread in hopes of learning that you have had success with the other challenges in your life, and you have many. I don’t know if these thoughts will be of help, but let me offer them.
First, you are clearly a problem solver. You have written about some difficult challenges, but you continue to work at them. Way to go! Don’t stop thinking and coming up with new ideas to try.
I think the biggest frustration we have in some of the personal challenges you are addressing is our lack of control. We can do things, take action, but we have limited ability to affect the systemic things that shape the situation. Eventually, you will find a solution for your house, find a buyer, etc. but one aspect is the frustrating uncertainty of how long it will take. But you are trying, not giving up! Keep doing so and eventually, your hard work will succeed.
Here is a story for you about me to highlight what I mean about frustration and the systemic stuff I cannot affect. Five years ago, I started working out to get into better shape, lose weight, etc. I got the iron bug and really enjoyed seeing progress. I was 47 at the time. Never did much when I was younger, so no muscle memory, etc. I was thrilled with my progress over two years, and looking forward to some new personal bests. Then my 11 year old daughter got sick.
Over the past three years my daughter has been hospitalized 22 times. We have been to different specialists, tried two different hospital systems, and continue to struggle with her health. Now almost 15, the stress has really gotten to her, and she is now taking antidepressant drugs.
Fortunately, her last hospitalization two weeks ago seems to have stabilized her condition, and I am looking forward to a more “normal” period of life. As a father, the most frustrating thing is accepting the fact that we cannot “solve” her condition, just learn to manage life with it (she has T1 Diabetes and JRA, an ugly combination). I am frustrated by doctors that only treat their area of specialty, the long time it takes to get insurance approvals, etc. But I keep going at it and thinking about new ways to figure out a solution, find a better specialist, etc.
The goal is to give my daughter a better quality of life that will let her be productive, and develop friends again. I can do little to change the systemic nature of her condition or the way healthcare is delivered. For a while I complained about why it was that way, today, I just focus on finding the next idea to make improvement. I will succeed!
Needless to say, her situation has taken a terrible tool on my training, and my professional work. I train when I can to keep my own sanity and well-being, but stay focused on her needs and my professional work to make money to pay the bills.
I guess what I am trying to say is that you will eventually find a solution to your challenges. Timing is unpredictable, and setbacks are inevitable. But you will succeed! We can all feel it for you and look forward to the day that arrives.
In my professional life, I am a search consultant. I don’t work in the medical area, but if you wanted to talk about your work, I might be able to offer a few suggestions about finding a new professional position that would work for your situation.
Regarding your real estate situation, I know a real estate agent in Naples that appears to have a good practice in the Naples area. I don’t think he knows your market in detail, but he seems to be having some success in the difficult market. He may be able to offer some advice about your situation that would be helpful. He is former CFO and very astute investor, so I think he might have more to offer than your typical real estate agent. Send me a PM if you would like to talk about either topic.
Thanks for posting your story. It has been inspiring as well as heart wrenching. We all feel for you and offer our support to you. We look forward to seeing your eventual success which we know will come!
If that doesn’t get your attention, I love that guy.
Welcome back Doc, you were missed!
Thanks, guys, and a special thanks to newcomer djccleveland. Your post made my day. I had a tough weekend on call, sleep deprived, worked 16 hours Sat and 7 on Sunday, came home in afternoon and read your post.
I also just moved into my new apartment, a decent two bedroom in a community near the hospital where I work. As tired and depressed as I get sometimes after weekend call, I remembered how important a RELENTLESS POSITIVE ATTITUDE AND UNWAVERING EXPECTATION OF SUCCESS are, as your story suggests.
I immediately got into my gym clothes, worked out at this new clubhouse gym, and then jumped into the pool and got some sun. Felt like a million bucks.
I may not be the poster child for a positive attitude, but I sure as hell know its importance. When I get whiny or negative (more than one post; one bad post is venting, more than that is pathetic), I feel worse just seeing what I have written, not to mention Barry usually gives me shit anyway lol. I will overcome all my challenges, I know it, I believe it, just not sure how or when. Thanks for reminding me of this. Doc
I don’t want to be the bad guy but I will be on you. You will overcome and we will survive. An ehug from the Missouri Mule. Don’t fuck with old people who lift heavy weights.
Don’t fuck with old people who lift heavy weights.
I’m going to write this one down…
Doc,
Your story certainly resonates with lots of people out there. While I haven’t crossed the 40 threshold yet in the past year I have lost a marriage, lost my retirement, lost 2 jobs, been to jail, moved into a closet and lost my dog.
The ONLY thing that kept me from crawling into a bottle or eating a bullet has been the iron. I also lost 40lbs, dropped my blood pressure and found a spiritual connection to Deadlifting. This site has angered, saddened and inspried me. Thank you for sharing your story, and insight. I always can use reminders on what I need to STAY thankful for.
“They can’t kill you and they can’t eat you.” A mentor of mine said that and as long as I can hit the floor and breath in and out I will be OK.
Stay strong Doc and keep making other peoples’ worlds a little bit better place to live in.
[quote]RWElder0 wrote:
Doc,
Your story certainly resonates with lots of people out there. While I haven’t crossed the 40 threshold yet in the past year I have lost a marriage, lost my retirement, lost 2 jobs, been to jail, moved into a closet and lost my dog.
The ONLY thing that kept me from crawling into a bottle or eating a bullet has been the iron. I also lost 40lbs, dropped my blood pressure and found a spiritual connection to Deadlifting. This site has angered, saddened and inspried me. Thank you for sharing your story, and insight. I always can use reminders on what I need to STAY thankful for.
“They can’t kill you and they can’t eat you.” A mentor of mine said that and as long as I can hit the floor and breath in and out I will be OK.
Stay strong Doc and keep making other peoples’ worlds a little bit better place to live in.[/quote]
Man I love this post. Funny how just when I thought my thread was as dead as my hopes and dreams, I restart posting and I get some of the best posts ever, like this one. Thanks, and I will succeed or die trying. And along the way, I will figure out a thing or two of value I can share with you guys. I've already learned one thing, severe life adversity will either make you or break you, and its more of a CHOICE than I ever realized. Doc
yes, keep posting Doc. Your story, your pain, and your glory are the things that keep me going. As RWElder said, eating a bullet has been my focus lately. Depression is an amazingly disabling thing as I’m finding out. I can’t talk to anyone I know due to the “freak out factor” of those who hear what I’m thinking and going through, so I keep it all inside…
Reading about you and your trials and tribulations is inspiring for me and I appreciate your words and the words of those who reply to you.
please keep this thread going, it means much more than you realise. I know you have some very close friends here who care for you greatly and reading their posts is always uplifting. Depresssion is new to me, I’m a millionaire through my investments but killing myself and feeling bad about myself is a daily struggle at the moment… it’s just plain fucked up and there’s no way out. Knowing that a smart fella like you is also having issues, gives me hope that I’m not a total loser… please… keep posting Doc… please…
Duke, hang tough, and dont worry, I quit posting for a while, and learned how much this thread and site matters to me. Won’t quit again.
You're right about the "freak out factor". I struggled even mentioning the thoughts of "checking out", thinking and possibly hoping maybe most folks wouldnt notice, but WHOA no way that got by.
Its all new to me too, Duke, having had these thoughts and feelings of slipping into an abyss. I've been a guy who thought depression happened to losers when I was young, and then when I got into psychiatry, I softened up a little and just thought it happened to "others." Never thought I would get dragged down by it myself.
Consider all options, Duke, meds, therapy, alternative therapies, travelling to foreign lands, anything. Think out of the box. Although coming to Costa Rica may have put a nail on the coffin of my marriage, in retrospect it lifted me out of the depression I was obviously already slipping into due to hypothyroidism and hypogonadism, and gave me the opportunity to rediscover serious training all over again.
PM me if you want to talk specifics, glad to help. My wife (yeah, I'm still married though separated for now), gave me at least the compliment of calling me Iron Man for what I am enduring combined with my love of iron. It was probably the best thing she could have said to me at this point.
I am cultivating a new habit of trying my best to collect whatever positives come my way and let the bad shit flow past me, because lately its been a river. Doc
[quote]Dr.PowerClean wrote:
Duke, hang tough, and dont worry, I quit posting for a while, and learned how much this thread and site matters to me. Won’t quit again.
You're right about the "freak out factor". I struggled even mentioning the thoughts of "checking out", thinking and possibly hoping maybe most folks wouldn't notice, but WHOA no way that got by.
Its all new to me too, Duke, having had these thoughts and feelings of slipping into an abyss. I've been a guy who thought depression happened to losers when I was young, and then when I got into psychiatry, I softened up a little and just thought it happened to "others." Never thought I would get dragged down by it myself.
Consider all options, Duke, meds, therapy, alternative therapies, traveling to foreign lands, anything. Think out of the box. Although coming to Costa Rica may have put a nail on the coffin of my marriage, in retrospect it lifted me out of the depression I was obviously already slipping into due to hypothyroidism and hypogonadism, and gave me the opportunity to rediscover serious training all over again.
PM me if you want to talk specifics, glad to help. My wife (yeah, I'm still married though separated for now), gave me at least the compliment of calling me Iron Man for what I am enduring combined with my love of iron. It was probably the best thing she could have said to me at this point.
I am cultivating a new habit of trying my best to collect whatever positives come my way and let the bad shit flow past me, because lately its been a river. Doc
[/quote]
“just thought it happened to “others.”” – yeah, not to mention all the people who think whatever is happening to you is contagious.
I’m amazed at how much a little aerobic exercise for the stress reduction (walking 2-3 miles a day does just fine) and some weight lifting for the soul, just how much it does to make life more bearable.
All I can say is that it got pretty bad for me for a while. One of the first steps out was lifting weights.
This thread will outlive you my friend. Duke and the others will keep it going. Gives me the warm and fuzzy feeling. Check out my latest post on HT’S, I’m old and out of control.
Doc, as you know depression is an ugly thing. I would be willing to bet a lot of us battle it more than we care to admit.
Like many other’s on your thread I too have fought that demon dog. It sucks and is hard. It took 16 months of meds for me to get thru it. Of course if I had the good sense to start training I may not have needed the meds, and I probably wouldn’t have put on 40 lbs.
The meds leveled the sea for me, made it less choppy. Still I had to discover my trigger. It was lying next to me every night. From my experience, living with a person suffering with the scourge is as bad as having it!
My wife battles depression. Apparently our child does as well. It is devastating to have your 10 yo daughter be diagnosed as depressed by a VERY conservative child psychologist. Talk about a feeling of parental hopelessness!
Everyone is in my family is getting help, some by meds, both by counseling, me by iron. I’m not going to succumb to that rat bastard. The weight room is my therapy. And while I’m no where near the writer, trainer, or the professional as you, your words and experiences touch a great deal here.
Man, its good to read of your work and training, no matter how insignificant it ever seems to you.