Am I Crazy???

Training Over 35 Lifter
501

Three newcomers to me thread! Wow, didnt know anybody but Duke, Stu, Hel and Barry were reading anymore. And two of you commenting on my original post. Good lord, how much has happened in just a few months. I’m hardly the same guy, certainly don’t have the luxury of training like a madman everyday like I was in Costa Rica.

I am, however, far from dead. Made it to World's today, my hottie patient wasnt there to inspire me, but some gym weenies were. I love it. I did some cardio, and just as I was set to go bench, these two guys come over and "take" the bench I was walking directly to. These guys are like twentysomething, 6 foot, stocky but not impressive. They had tattoos, half mohawks, death metal T-shirts, arm band ipods, and plenty of attitude. I take up the bench next to them and start with my 135 warm ups.

These guys START with 225, but they each do five HALF reps, only going down halfway and with the other spotting with hands on the bar. Now I know they are weenies, and I think…man it would be great if I could do a solid, strict 300 today to put them in their place. Well, I go to my 225 set, and I see they have now jumped straight to 315!!! They each do one assisted half rep, each with the spotter doing half the work. Well, I load up the bar to 255, my normal progression, and after I get my three reps, I feel OK, think maybe I could get 300 with a max effort. I look over at the weenies, and they pack up their water bottles and LEAVE. They did TWO “sets” each, a grand total of six half reps. They didnt even give me the joy of embarassing them. I did a couple at 275 but somehow my fire was gone.

However, the weenies were off to one of the squat racks to repeat their bench fiasco. A lady was doing deadlifts with the bar on the other squat rack (I kid you not) and I politely asked her how long she needed before she was done. She did another "set" and I was free to power clean. I then power cleaned 245x2, nothing great for me, but it was more than the weenies were squatting and they quickly departed to go curl. 

I must admit, my motivation lately has been a little perverse, but at least I have some, as it had really petered out prior to the past week. I even did squats after power cleans, and I am dead tired tonight. I even am proud that my thighs are blood red from power cleaning in shorts with a brand new, sharply knurled bar. It was like steel wool going up my thighs. I loved it...my version of being a self-mutilator I guess. 

 Anyway, thanks to all you readers, I noticed 500 posts/~20,000 views...can't believe my weird, somewhat disappointing journey is still interesting to many. I will keep up the fight, even if work, marriage, hormones, and other obstacles keep getting in the way of my old joy. I enjoyed it today, that's for sure.                               Doc
502

Motivation found by any means is still motivation - good to have it, no matter where it comes from Doc.

I’m going through the injury phase again at the moment - left arm is shot to shit for no apparent reason, but I keep going back every day - to squat, dead, rack pull, row, jog, whatever… just got to keep going - it’s become my escape, my habit, my joy in life, even with the pain.

I wish I had your impressive numbers Doc, to anhilate the attitudes of the young guns that show up. Same boat as you today - 3 guys, young, army camo pants, headbands, tatts, hats on backwards or sideways - walking around like JJ from Good Times. Just makes me want to snot 'em.

Alas, my numbers and current injuries don’t allow me to enjoy intimidating them. Luckily I know a few good young blokes who respect me in there and they more than cater for these punks.

What’s the essence of a self mutilator Doc? Why do they do it? (or is that a very long answer)

503

Doc,

What a great thread, I’m damn near 50 (47) recently returned to the gym after a 23 year layoff (I am fat, bald, and damn near 50…i figured i could work on the fat part) As a frustrated former novice Oly lifter’er, you are an inspriation for me.

Now if I only had a good gym between home and work. Real weight rooms are hard to come by in northeast NC.

Oh well I’ll continue to work out with the 4th grade teachers, the laywers and county administrators and re-live my youth of lifting real weights thru your thread, Your story is a real inspiration.

504

jwilly, I appreciate the kind words. Now that I can’t chase big numbers in the OL lifts like I was last year I’m a little puzzled why I still inspire anybody. However, I do realize keeping the spirit for lifting going IN SPITE OF all of life’s obstacles is perhaps the real message of this thread. We have to chase goals that really mean nothing but pride in ourselves.

Duke, self-mutilators, mostly called "cutters" in my business, cut on themselves not to kill themselves but to "release" strong, negative emotions. This obviously has many bad side effects as a coping mechanism, and at first I found it hard to believe, but after hearing a thousand girls tell me the same thing over the years I believe them. It becomes a perverse addiction.

Kind of like me and power cleaning!!!

BTW, you shouldn’t “dis” your own numbers…because I do the same and this is silly. During that last workout, I had to catch myself periodically bemoaning the 20 some pounds I have lost off most of my peak sets since I have been working like crazy. Isnt it silly I would think to myself “Damn, I’m getting so weak, benching 275 is hard.” My thoughts in the power clean are even worse.

See, I'm still half crazy. What do these numbers mean anyway? Mine or yours, what difference? Hel320 benches 400, and I think about that sometimes when I bench, sometimes to fire me up, but sometimes it makes me feel like a weakling. But who are we going to compare ourselves to? There are freaks benching 1000 nowdays so we're all relative weaklings, but we can rest assured we will NEVER be gym weenies or really WEAK.

Can’t say i’ve sorted this “numbers” issue out yet, but maybe I’m getting closer. We just need goals to chase. And some numbers mean something privately. I was proud of power cleaning 290 a few months ago even though I should have got 300 (see, there I go again…number neurosis!!!)
Oh well, if anyone has a better philosophy on chasing numbers, please chime in. Doc

505

[quote]Dr.PowerClean wrote:
See, I’m still half crazy. What do these numbers mean anyway? Mine or yours, what difference? But who are we going to compare ourselves to? .

Can’t say i’ve sorted this “numbers” issue out yet, but maybe I’m getting closer. We just need goals to chase. And some numbers mean something privately. I was proud of power cleaning 290 a few months ago even though I should have got 300 (see, there I go again…number neurosis!!!)
Oh well, if anyone has a better philosophy on chasing numbers, please chime in. Doc[/quote]

Well, since you asked…

First, you’re not allowed to self diagnose. The title of the thread is a question, “Am I Crazy???”, so we get to decide if your only half crazy or full on looney tunes.

Second, who are we going to compare to?
Three options: First one. Find someone who is an exact mirror of yourself; physically,life experiences, same job, stress, hours, etc… If they’re out lifting you, feel bad.
Failing to find this doopleganger use option 2. Look around at all the other 50+ year old guys. Should be easy, there must be a whole lot of them at your gym. Now, how many of them are doing what you do or are even trying? If most of them are, feel bad.

Option three: (surprise!my choice) Don’t compare yourself. It’s meaningless. Okay, you don’t bench as much as me, you or me don’t deadlift as much as Barry, none of us can total as much as QT, etc, etc. Was 300 a realistic goal? Kinda remember you making that goal in some laid back land with plenty of time to work on it. Maybe it was realistic then but is it now? How much time do you have to devote to this goal?

And more important, the unthinkable, what if you attain it? At our age, hell, at any age, there’s a ceiling. What then? You’re still out there trying. If you’ve got to compare, compare yourself to the vast majority who ain’t. We’re a pretty small club and the older we get the smaller the club will get. It’s why I come to here to talk about this thing we do.

Pretty long post and more serious than I usually get. I’m still working on my diagnosis but whether you’re crazy or not doesn’t really matter to us. I’m pretty sure we’ll still be here for you.

506

[quote]hel320 wrote:
Dr.PowerClean wrote:
See, I’m still half crazy. What do these numbers mean anyway? Mine or yours, what difference? But who are we going to compare ourselves to? .

Can’t say i’ve sorted this “numbers” issue out yet, but maybe I’m getting closer. We just need goals to chase. And some numbers mean something privately. I was proud of power cleaning 290 a few months ago even though I should have got 300 (see, there I go again…number neurosis!!!)
Oh well, if anyone has a better philosophy on chasing numbers, please chime in. Doc

Well, since you asked…

First, you’re not allowed to self diagnose. The title of the thread is a question, “Am I Crazy???”, so we get to decide if your only half crazy or full on looney tunes.

Second, who are we going to compare to?
Three options: First one. Find someone who is an exact mirror of yourself; physically,life experiences, same job, stress, hours, etc… If they’re out lifting you, feel bad.
Failing to find this doopleganger use option 2. Look around at all the other 50+ year old guys. Should be easy, there must be a whole lot of them at your gym. Now, how many of them are doing what you do or are even trying? If most of them are, feel bad.

Option three: (surprise!my choice) Don’t compare yourself. It’s meaningless. Okay, you don’t bench as much as me, you or me don’t deadlift as much as Barry, none of us can total as much as QT, etc, etc. Was 300 a realistic goal? Kinda remember you making that goal in some laid back land with plenty of time to work on it. Maybe it was realistic then but is it now? How much time do you have to devote to this goal?

And more important, the unthinkable, what if you attain it? At our age, hell, at any age, there’s a ceiling. What then? You’re still out there trying. If you’ve got to compare, compare yourself to the vast majority who ain’t. We’re a pretty small club and the older we get the smaller the club will get. It’s why I come to here to talk about this thing we do.

Pretty long post and more serious than I usually get. I’m still working on my diagnosis but whether you’re crazy or not doesn’t really matter to us. I’m pretty sure we’ll still be here for you.[/quote]
Hel320, this is an excellent post. In fact, you’re starting to sound dangerously close to a shrink with your deep philosophy. However, it’s still blunt and in your face which is how any iron man’s philosophy should be. Thank you.
I don’t feel bad, at least today!
Doc

507

A standing ovation for our friend hel320. What an awesome post. Numbers mean little. What matters is you lift the iron, you think about it, it’s part of your life. If you slack, you feel guilty and you should. You share with your friends here and at home. You lead by example. Other people workout because they know you do. We have to live with injuries, some more serious than others. We must go on and train. If its machines, so be it. If it’s black iron, so be it. If it’s a fucking big rock, so be it. So many times since reading these posts I’ve thought about skipping a trip to the gym and I went because of these threads. Almost all of those workouts were great and I felt wonderful after. Thanks for our crew, you know who you are.

508

Barry, you are right, we have a new Socrates in Hel320 here. That post temporarily cured me of one of my many neuroses. Tonight I got home late but I went straight to the little gym (with the broken bench), and I was all alone. I lifted nothing but 40 and 50 pound dumbells for about 400 reps or so in various exercises, curls, presses and such. I was in a joyous zone like I haven’t been in since I left Costa Rica.

When I finally quit, I looked up at the clock and it had been almost two hours, and when I took off my headphones I noticed I was huffing and puffing like a terminal emphysema patient, was soaked in sweat and pumped up like a bodybuilder. The whole workout I didnt give a moment’s thought to how strong or weak I was, or what joints hurt, or how much so and so can lift in the Db press, or anything to be honest. Just pure lifting, at very high intensity.
Thanks. Doc

509

My buddy my pal, if all you have 40 or 50 dbs. Walking lunges with 40lbdbs will set you free. Bulgarian split squats with 40#s will set you free. OH squats/press with 40#ers will set you free. 40# snatches for 20/40 will set you free. Single db swings will set you free. No, their not a power clean but they will test your happy ass until you can get to a gym. One day we will train and it will be a hoot. As my friend would say," ugly but very American."

510

Barry, you always know just what to say, don’t you??? Doc, I truly believe that most people of our age who still enjoy doing what we do, actively seek out others with similar interests. For some strange reason, there is a lot of curiousity of what others do, and sure, sometimes comparisons are made. I don’t think that’s a bad thing necessarily. I think we test ourselves many many times over, and sometimes we just have this inner thing of wanting to see how others test themselves. Sometimes we ‘compare’ numbers, sometimes we compete, & sometimes we fantasize of what life was like back in the day(our primes) & even that invokes comparison. Our gang finds our accomplishments very gratifying…we support each other in various ways via these threads/posts. Personally, I come to your thread, not to compare, BUT to see how you are doing. Reading your posts gives me a sense of your present state-of-mind & most of the time I like how you temper your posts with a sense of humor, which you’ve never forgotten throughout all that you’ve been through. Nobody likes to see a guy down on his luck going down for the third time. Your survival instincts are well-founded and you did whatever it took, and, I might add, you aren’t doing so bad for yourself these days. Re-read your posts and you’d be blind not to see the ‘trends’. You’re an AOK guy and you are part of the gang…the cameraderie of this group is second to none…we all pull for one another, in lifting and in life! So, “eh, what’s up doc?”

511

Listen to QT grasshopper. You must train because you know you will feel guilty if you don’t. You’ve trained for years. Who’s to judge what’s heavy??? Not me. If you’re hittin’ it, you know it and so do we. Regardless of weight.

There’s not a member of the crew that looks at each other’s numbers and compares everyone’s numbers. At least not in my opinion or there out of the crew. It’s not my decision but he would be weeded out before long. A great weekend to all, especially old lifters with DR in front of their name.

512

[quote]hel320 wrote:
I’m still working on my diagnosis but whether you’re crazy or not doesn’t really matter to us. I’m pretty sure we’ll still be here for you.[/quote]

And there’s one of the great joys of gettin’ older and (hopefully) smarter.

In times of hardship - we gather in mateship.

513

Man, you guys are great.
I must admit, I’m going through a rough patch, not just another tough stretch of call but more problems with money, family, houses not selling, etc.
I get in a mood sometimes during these tough stretches recently when I don’t even want to read my own thread, much less anyone elses, because I feel like what’s the fuckin point…we are such a set of dinosaurs clinging to a sport and way of life which other people have no conception of why we would do it, and in fact think we are all crazy for risking our joints. I heard this when I was 40, now over 50 I don’t even let on what I’m up to.
I DO now get guilty when I don’t lift, in fact it is intense. This feeling was always a part of me since the iron bug bit me as a kid. After my serious accident and years of rehab, it finally disappeared and in a way I felt “normal” to not have this guilt. But once I made my comeback last year, and reclaimed my spirit and my strength, missing workouts became unacceptible and guilt-inspiring all over again. How ironic!
I do have to tell you guys I am coming to some tough decisions ahead regarding my future, and I might have to sign on to this brutal hospital job long term and that would pretty much kill my heavy lifting spirit. Nothing will ever kill my desire to workout, but I find it hard to lift heavy “part-time”. Lifting heavy, which to me means both lifting the major lifts as well as the relative heavy weights required to have an intense workout, is something I find only enjoyable if I can devote a significant time to it. Doing it once a week just doesnt cut it for me, and makes me so damn sore in both muscles and joints the crippled feeling the next couple days seems hardly worth it.
There is more here that bothers the shit out of me right now. The need to go to medical school and make a career for myself cut short my athletic career at 22, well short of my prime and with who knows how much more I could have done in OL especially. The paralell of having a wonderful comeback last year and then having to go to work at medical school/internship intensity at this age and time is quite depressing.
Don’t worry, guys, I’m not ready to jump off a bridge or something. In fact, going back to work in my field has given me an appreciation that the thing I do best in this world, that really makes a difference in the lives of others, is what I am doing right now. Being an inpatient psychiatrist. People talk to me, tell me things they tell no one, trust me when they are paranoid, reveal secret traumas and abuses they have carried for years. They work hard with me to get well, and reward me for my hard work with getting well, showing me it is worth it.
Even if I could have gone on and won a gold medal in the Olympics as a superheavyweight, I doubt I would have this feeling of purpose in life that I have now.
There is only one catch to all this. I still have the iron bug, just like all you guys, and it will not let me go now, even if I wanted to let it go. So there lies my dilemma, I simply have to keep fighting, and find a way to defy age, reason, pain, fatigue, and everything else that threatens this peculiar disease we have.
One thing that absolutely works well to keep the guilt high and the desire strong, is reading what you guys write!!!
Doc

514

Doc, I know you don’t have time for marathon lifting sessions anymore. I never felt that they were all that healthy anyway. However, you seem to be able to find the time for semi regular trips to the gym for an hour or so. With a little planning, you can design a program, ideally about 90 minutes, 4 times a week where you progress steadily without beating yourself up. Something like a warmup, 1/2 hour of an olympic lift, maybe alternate snatch and cleans, 1/2 hour of a powerlifting lift, maybe alternate, squat, bench, deadlift, and finish off with some accessory/corrective lifts. Don’t try to exhaust yourself every workout. Your goal should be to make gradual improvement month to month, year to year while avoiding injuries. Train smarter, not harder.

Do you have room for a lifting platform and squat rack in your home?

Stu

515

Keep up the training my friend. I will end up on your steps and I can eat if you don’t. Good things happen to good people and you qualify. You are helping folks who need it, that will come back to you. Like Stu said, make time to train. Schedule your days that there’s time for you and the iron. Rock on and don’t be afraid to call.

516

Hey guys, saw a lady today who woke up one day and was convinced her husband no longer was her husband, but an imposter. It’s called Capgras syndrome, very rare, first time I’ve ever seen it much less diagnosed it. Now, the trick is who can make the funniest joke about this, because there’s gotta be one…

Worked out tonight, felt good after finally getting some sleep last night. No deep philosophical or neurotic conflicts tonight, how about that! Just gonna workout as much and as often as I can, which might be four times one week and twice the next, but less thinking and more lifting is often better for Dr. Powerclean.            Doc
517

[quote]Dr.PowerClean wrote:
Hey guys, saw a lady today who woke up one day and was convinced her husband no longer was her husband, but an imposter. It’s called Capgras syndrome, very rare, first time I’ve ever seen it much less diagnosed it. Now, the trick is who can make the funniest joke about this, because there’s gotta be one…
[/quote]

If Capgras syndrome is the name of a woman who thinks she just woke up next to a someone posing as her hubby, what’s the name of the syndrome for the woman who HOPES that she’ll wake up next to someone posing as her hubby? Sargpac syndrome?

518

I see you met my wife. She is always telling me I’m not the man she thought I was!

I’m glad you have the figured out the training regime. I’ll have to admit, my training has sure helped me cope with trying to make a living in an industry under economic siege. I know your training helps work off the stress of your profession.

Someday I hope I can grow up to train just like Doc Powerclean! (alas I need to find a weighlifter’s gym)

Now if I could only figure out how to make my wife think im posing as an imposter, then I could be me again!

Good training Doc!

519

I’ve woken up next to girls who I’m sure weren’t the ones I took to bed…

Didn’t know it had another name - I’ve always known it as “beer goggles”

520

Too funny! I’m sure there’s gonna be more to follow. Hope all is well, Doc! Take care for now