Am I Crazy???

Training Over 35 Lifter
301

In case any of you were wondering if Dr PC tried to bench 400 without a spotter in a proper T-man suicide, don’t worry.
No, if I wanted to go out that way I’d at least put 500 on the bar so they could write that on my tombstone.

Bad joke, I know. Got no cleverness in me at the moment. But what I do have....is hope. Got off my estrogen ridden ass and made a few dozen phone calls, stirring up some possibilities for me. I'll be less vague the minute I CAN be less vague.

My body was remarkably not that torn up from Saturday's marathon, with the exception of my right knee. Sucker's still really hurting. From pc's and DL's, odd.

You want some perspective? You can see my atrophic inner calves on my other thread here about Sustanon/HRT. You know what, it doesnt bother me one iota. The best thing you can say about hard times is that it really gives you a great lesson in perspective. About what really matters.

Love, loyalty, security, family, faith, purpose (if you're lucky), and STRENGTH. They never put that last one in the self-help books, do they?                               Doc
302

Just finished reading last 2 pages of your thread. Doc, you’re such a great guy.
And that’s the most important thing.

I have always thought of life in its basis as a road through the hindrances. Just like in training. And the more you accomplish, the better you cope with it, the harder the obstacles get. Just like in training. And when you get to the point where you have reached your limit and you don’t feel like you’ll quite make it on your own? It comes down to the question what kind of person you are, can you find motivation and self-assertion to use all your virtues for the problems ahead of you.

And at moment like this, you better live up to your principles, because even if you don’t make it, you’ve changed the world for better.

…

You’ll get out of it. I don’t know how, maybe with a classic “I have nothing to lose” smile, or driven by the insistent purpose of life to take a piss on you, but you’ll get out of it.

Be strong.

303

Thanks Midj for the encouraging words.
Today, after trying to sort out my life for the first twelve hours of the day, I finally got to workout. Ah, what a blessing. I do think some of these workouts recently have been more appreciated than any I ever had in my youth.

Today I started with benches, but after five sets and a triple with 245, my left shoulder sent me the familiar rotator cuff pain, so I quit benching. I moved over to MY squat rack, to do power jerks behind the neck. Now, considering my rotator was acting up, maybe not wise, but my knee hurt too so what the hell exercise could I do without some pain? But I was at least smart and did volume without going over 205, in fact I did 15 sets of three between 135 and 205. Trying to get speed; I still often land them an inch or two short and press them out. Not too pretty.

Then a guy, who I had noticed patiently waiting for me to finish my 15 sets, says "Can I use the squat rack now?" I said "For what??" because he was an older, slender guy and if he said curls I was going to tell him to bug off. He said "RDL's, brother." Wow! A fellow lifter, in my Costa Rica arsty farty gym. And he actually was pretty strong. I gladly stepped aside, and did leg presses instead of my planned clean pulls. Knee hurt, but at least with a leg press machine you can move your feet around, work with the depth until you get a little more comfortable. I know they're no replacement for squats, but I couldnt have squatted on my knee today.

My son came up twice asking when we were going home. I didnt want to leave the gym, two hours felt like ten minutes. What a nice sanctuary. People should never feel like they have to drag themselves to the gym, its a priviledge.                        Doc
304

[quote]Dr.PowerClean wrote:
People should never feel like they have to drag themselves to the gym, its a priviledge. Doc[/quote]

Indeed!

Carlsbad

305

My stepson returned home yesterday after a few weeks of working a few hours away. We hit the gym together. We decided to share a 10x3 bench routine for starters. For the first 7 sets I thought he was helping me up with the bar while spotting me. Finally I said to him “mate, can you not touch the bar please when I’m pushing up, I need to feel the weight”
He replied… “I’m not touching it”. I couldn’t believe it! my bench was improved finally. I pushed the 10th set out at what was previously my 1RM by doing 3 and that’s AFTER already doing 27 lifts. I was blown away.

I then went to partial deads for 4x6 and again the fourth set was at my previous 1RM and I felt I could easily do more…

Busted thorugh my plateau FINALLY! I feel trashed today but trained again regardless, You’re absolutley right Doc, it’s a pleasure and a priviledge to be able to spend time in the gym.

I’m so glad to have been able to spend that time with the boy, He sent me a TXT message later on after he’d taken off again and congratulated this “ol’ fella” on lifting more than most of the young guys in our gym.

My lifts aren’t good but he’s impressed and full of respect. Now that’s gold!

Doc, you’re so lucky to have your boy with you so often when you train, it’s a real blessing and with all the shit you’re going through right now, don’t forget to enjoy something like that, no one can take those moments away from you.

306

[quote]Duke wrote:
My stepson returned home yesterday after a few weeks of working a few hours away. We hit the gym together. We decided to share a 10x3 bench routine for starters. For the first 7 sets I thought he was helping me up with the bar while spotting me. Finally I said to him “mate, can you not touch the bar please when I’m pushing up, I need to feel the weight”
He replied… “I’m not touching it”. I couldn’t believe it! my bench was improved finally. I pushed the 10th set out at what was previously my 1RM by doing 3 and that’s AFTER already doing 27 lifts. I was blown away.

I then went to partial deads for 4x6 and again the fourth set was at my previous 1RM and I felt I could easily do more…

Busted thorugh my plateau FINALLY! I feel trashed today but trained again regardless, You’re absolutley right Doc, it’s a pleasure and a priviledge to be able to spend time in the gym.

I’m so glad to have been able to spend that time with the boy, He sent me a TXT message later on after he’d taken off again and congratulated this “ol’ fella” on lifting more than most of the young guys in our gym.

My lifts aren’t good but he’s impressed and full of respect. Now that’s gold!

Doc, you’re so lucky to have your boy with you so often when you train, it’s a real blessing and with all the shit you’re going through right now, don’t forget to enjoy something like that, no one can take those moments away from you.[/quote]
Duke, we’re on the same wavelength, as usual. I expressed these same thoughts to the gentleman who just posted before you (Carlsbad) in a PM. I do treasure my son and how training has bonded us in a way that is mutually beneficial and wonderful.
How ironic, and painful, that after thrashing through the various options I have to extricate myself from my problems, it appears the only one which makes sense is for me to take the highest paying doc job I can find, which is going away for 6-9 months of the year and practicing in undesireable locations in high stress, labor intensive hospitals. I guess its the psychiatric equivalent of the tough guys who go fish for Alaskan king crab. I’m wracking my brain for a better option, but no luck so far. Beware everyone, if you take a sabbatical like I did, you lower your “market value,” so to speak. I cant cherry pick a high paying hospital director position like I used to have right now…where I could move my family and have stability.
I tried to do in life what so many doctors can’t, not be a whore to money, be successful just by being good, and I did that for twenty years and put the money in… you know the story. Now I have to become one of those money whores Headhunter loves so much.
But after wrastling aroung with that for a night, I kept coming back to the same conclusion. As men, we still simply must do what we must do for the good of our families. It just sucks that sometimes when you do that, in solving the issue of being a good provider, you sacrifice the part in which you are just being there, being a Dad, a husband, a friend. Ah, such is life. Doc
BTW, I still cannot believe I am sharing all this stuff and I must feel it is like some kind of ongoing therapy in which I am using T-Nation to help sort out my messed up life. Hey, its free, and I’m smarter than almost any shrink I’ve ever met, so another shrink’s not likely to help me. So this is helping, I guess I need to quit questioning it.

307

[quote]Dr.PowerClean wrote:
Duke wrote:
My stepson returned home yesterday after a few weeks of working a few hours away. We hit the gym together. We decided to share a 10x3 bench routine for starters. For the first 7 sets I thought he was helping me up with the bar while spotting me. Finally I said to him “mate, can you not touch the bar please when I’m pushing up, I need to feel the weight”
He replied… “I’m not touching it”. I couldn’t believe it! my bench was improved finally. I pushed the 10th set out at what was previously my 1RM by doing 3 and that’s AFTER already doing 27 lifts. I was blown away.

I then went to partial deads for 4x6 and again the fourth set was at my previous 1RM and I felt I could easily do more…

Busted thorugh my plateau FINALLY! I feel trashed today but trained again regardless, You’re absolutley right Doc, it’s a pleasure and a priviledge to be able to spend time in the gym.

I’m so glad to have been able to spend that time with the boy, He sent me a TXT message later on after he’d taken off again and congratulated this “ol’ fella” on lifting more than most of the young guys in our gym.

My lifts aren’t good but he’s impressed and full of respect. Now that’s gold!

Doc, you’re so lucky to have your boy with you so often when you train, it’s a real blessing and with all the shit you’re going through right now, don’t forget to enjoy something like that, no one can take those moments away from you.
Duke, we’re on the same wavelength, as usual. I expressed these same thoughts to the gentleman who just posted before you (Carlsbad) in a PM. I do treasure my son and how training has bonded us in a way that is mutually beneficial and wonderful.
How ironic, and painful, that after thrashing through the various options I have to extricate myself from my problems, it appears the only one which makes sense is for me to take the highest paying doc job I can find, which is going away for 6-9 months of the year and practicing in undesireable locations in high stress, labor intensive hospitals. I guess its the psychiatric equivalent of the tough guys who go fish for Alaskan king crab. I’m wracking my brain for a better option, but no luck so far. Beware everyone, if you take a sabbatical like I did, you lower your “market value,” so to speak. I cant cherry pick a high paying hospital director position like I used to have right now…where I could move my family and have stability.
I tried to do in life what so many doctors can’t, not be a whore to money, be successful just by being good, and I did that for twenty years and put the money in… you know the story. Now I have to become one of those money whores Headhunter loves so much.
But after wrastling aroung with that for a night, I kept coming back to the same conclusion. As men, we still simply must do what we must do for the good of our families. It just sucks that sometimes when you do that, in solving the issue of being a good provider, you sacrifice the part in which you are just being there, being a Dad, a husband, a friend. Ah, such is life. Doc
BTW, I still cannot believe I am sharing all this stuff and I must feel it is like some kind of ongoing therapy in which I am using T-Nation to help sort out my messed up life. Hey, its free, and I’m smarter than almost any shrink I’ve ever met, so another shrink’s not likely to help me. So this is helping, I guess I need to quit questioning it.

[/quote]

Doc,
Please keep posting. I have been silently following your sojourn for several weeks and I’ve really enjoyed it. Obviously, not the down parts, but the continuation, the “keeping on keeping on” and the eventual triumph of the spirit that we all know is coming.

Reading about all of the aches and pains of training and life is, in some way, uplifting. I’m quickly approaching 40 myself and I notice aches and pains more and more and I’m sure I look like the geeks we all used to make fun of when we were younger with my knee sleeves and socks pulled up to prevent shin scrapes as much as possible. At least I work out at home so it’s just my wife who rolls her eyes. But, I digress.

While catching up on your story today, it occurred to me that everyone feels these aches and pains as they age. You do so more than most due to a number of past injuries. But even those who don’t train hard and heavy have aches and pains too, but their pains are mostly related to weakness of body. Which would you rather have? No need to answer because it’s obvious. I think most of us here on T-Nation are like that.

Think of all of us humans as cars. The older we get, the more time it takes to warm up. Inactivity, coupled with being driven hard sometimes means more squeaks and rattles, but what car would you rather be? An Olds 442 with a big, throaty sounding engine that can lay down some rubber when the pedal goes to the floor? Or the Datsun B210 that whines and smokes and just kind of gets by? I’ll take the muscle car route.

To wrap it up, aches and pains are signs of life being lived. Too many people try to eliminate these aches and pains. We all see them every day. Popping Advil for everything from minor headaches to sore muscles from their once-a-year post Thanksgiving workout. Those people don’t “get” people like you. We are like you. We “get” you. So, please keep it going and please keep us posted without feeling like you’re unloading on us. I don’t feel that way and I don’t think others do either.

DB

308

[quote]Dr.PowerClean wrote:
As men, we still simply must do what we must do for the good of our families. It just sucks that sometimes when you do that, in solving the issue of being a good provider, you sacrifice the part in which you are just being there, being a Dad, a husband, a friend. Ah, such is life. [/quote]

Doc, I spent 30 years in the military and a whole lot of it was TDY. The first anniversary I was at home with my wife was my 5th. At least 3 times I went to work in the morning and came home 6 months later. I did 2 isolated tours and my oldest son went to 9 schools before he graduated.

A lot of men are with their families and kids constantly and don’t do anything with the time. I’m not by nature very philosophical but I truly believe it’s what you do with the time together that counts. My sons both understand how much they mean to me and why I was doing what I had to do.

Always explain to them/him what you are doing and why. Make sure they have access to you even when you are gone. With modern technology it is so much easier to stay in touch. Remember when you are around that your son has had to assume some responsibilities in you absence and aged. You can’t just walk in and lay the law down.

Both my sons turned out to be outstanding young men (bragging). My sainted wife might of had little something to do with this. (in case she ever reads this).

Having said all that I’m now going to go do Deadlifts. I’ve set a goal of 250kg/551 lb for an upcoming push pull meet in April.

309

Hel320 and DB, these posts of yours are very welcome and go directly towards helping me with some issues I clearly have.

It is a private issue with me that although I loved and respected my Dad, it was hard with him being gone for several YEARS during my youth. My Dad was a three war veteran and lies in Arlington a military hero. The experience of growing up with him gone frequently has always made me feel an intense need to not do the same with my son. It troubled me when I had a job at a hospital working 80 plus hours a week, plus every other weekend. The "quality time" concept is true, but has its limits.

It is a huge irony that the job which may rescue me from my financial black hole is to return to this same exact hospital which has floundered since I left. I had epic battles with the CEO, and the overall management team there, totally corrupt, totally focused only on money, and in particular biased against mental health care. But often, there is a good reason for a particular job in a given field to offer the best salary; to reward working in horrible conditions.

I will find out Friday if the offer is what I need and expect, if it is, I am there, and within one year I will work my way out of the hole. I will have to leave the family here in CR, for many reasons I’ll leave private for now (I sure dont leave much private, do I?)

Will I resent this sacrifice. No, because I know it gets the job done when it appeared just one week ago I had no options. You gotta hear the most amazing part of this. I'll be living in that hurricane house that caused all of this misery, until the bank finally forecloses on it and kicks me out. And the day they do this, they are helping me out of my black hole. How sweet and ironic as well.

What a life story, its quite the soap opera isnt it? DB, I enjoyed your comments about the body problems and the price tag we pay for being lifting men. I couldnt agree more-before my comeback, I had daily pain, and now I have daily pain, and I would rather it be an overworked rotator cuff or a semi-pulled quad from squatting, than aches and pains just due to a damaged, aging body.

At least now most of my pains have a meaning-like my shoulders are screaming today from the 15 sets of jerks I did, but that’s great, I know I really worked them and they’ll be stronger next time I jerk. And it really is an illusion to try to eliminate all of these pains, I dont care how much fish oil and what not you take. There may be a few of you over 50 guys that have no pain, you are either very lucky or never pushed the envelope the way I did.

I have already thought ahead to a serious concern of mine-continuing my OL and overall lifting comeback. I have decided that I will find a barbell and 500 lbs of weight and just put it in my hurricane house. So no matter what hour of the night I come home, Dr. PC is GOING TO KEEP LIFTING. Plus, if they come too soon to evict me, I can use the weight to barricade the door.
                      Gotta laugh, Doc
310

I hope my readers will give me a free pass for being a pussy these past two weeks due to the estrogen poisoning. I woke up this morning and not only did I have a nice greeting from my temporarily impotent member, I had a clearer head by far. It is like someone put WD-40 in my brain and it just works better.
I’m shaking the trees real hard now, and things are falling out. Opportunities. My wife recognizes me again, she didnt know who the hell that emo fag was she was living with the last several weeks.
It is a good lesson, this “estrogen experience.” In the face of all of this, I was convinced I was doing my best to cope and deal. But as I look back, what I was doing was TRYING. There is a difference between TRYING and DOING.
Now I am DOING everything possible to fix my mess, and good things are slowly starting to happen. I’ll keep posting this story, it certainly needs a happy ending after all the misery I laid out there for everyone to comiserate with.
But you might notice a little less angst and emotional delivery… Gotta laugh, Doc

311

applauds

I’ve never been so happy to hear about morning wood in another man.

312

[quote]katzenjammer wrote:
applauds

I’ve never been so happy to hear about morning wood in another man. [/quote]

This is the funniest fucking post in my entire thread.
313

[quote]Dr.PowerClean wrote:
katzenjammer wrote:
applauds

I’ve never been so happy to hear about morning wood in another man.
This is the funniest fucking post in my entire thread.

[/quote]
But I think I’ll spare the world any further status reports on my johnson. gotta keep laughing, even if its at my expense Doc

314

Good news, indeed, Doc. I know it’s been a rough road and I know how rough it is because I walked that road for 15 years and it cost me everything. My marriage, my career, and more all because my well meaning but ignorant doctor told me my hormones were “fine.” Count yourself lucky that you were in the right place at the right time to get the information you needed to get out of that hole.

T-Nation rocks and this forum is a Godsend to many.

315

Where’s this hospital you crazy wacked out human? I can barely move after today’s workout. Check it out on HT’s thread. The 24 Hours of Daytona is the first week of February. Many times it’s super bowl sunday also. It’s my favorite race, I try to go to that and indy every year.

316

[quote]happydog48 wrote:
Good news, indeed, Doc. I know it’s been a rough road and I know how rough it is because I walked that road for 15 years and it cost me everything. My marriage, my career, and more all because my well meaning but ignorant doctor told me my hormones were “fine.” Count yourself lucky that you were in the right place at the right time to get the information you needed to get out of that hole.

T-Nation rocks and this forum is a Godsend to many.[/quote]

Good lord what a reality check for me. You've got class Happydog to not flame me for my whining. Some people have clearly had it worse than me-I always knew this, but it is often forgotten in the moment of ones darkest hours.

Anyway, had a shitty workout, weak as a kitten doing front squats (8 triples up to 255, which I barely could do). I thought "Oh shit, my legs will never come back." But then I went and did clean pulls, and triples with 295 felt like deadlifts. This actually made me happy...it meant I was just having one of those sorry ass days when everything feels like a ton. No problem, been there done that. Plus I need to eat, damn if I didnt drop ten pounds since the last time I got on the scale, back to 240. Anorexic.

BTW, Barry, I'm looking at two hospital offers, one in South Florida, one near Central Florida...I don't want to say exactly because I'm a crazy superstitious nut who doesnt want to put the internet jinx on this job. But stay tuned, I think there's a deadlift workout together with you sometime in the near future.                       Doc
317

Kind of jumping between threads here but the last push/pull meet I was in last year went:

110kg 50-59

BP DL TL
405 505 910
365 515 880
335 475 810
335 465 800
305 475 780
305 455 760

This was a reginal meet. I guess you can call it “raw”. None of the teflon shirts things.
Florida is the Mecca of seniors sports. There are all kinds of meets across the spectrum of sports there. The South Eastern Sports Festival is in Tallahasee this coming July (T&F, no lifting). If you can’t find Master’s/Senior’s competition there, you ain’t goin to find it. And there’s always pickle ball.

318

[quote]hel320 wrote:
Kind of jumping between threads here but the last push/pull meet I was in last year went:

110kg 50-59

BP DL TL
405 505 910
365 515 880
335 475 810
335 465 800
305 475 780
305 455 760

This was a reginal meet. I guess you can call it “raw”. None of the teflon shirts things.
Florida is the Mecca of seniors sports. There are all kinds of meets across the spectrum of sports there. The South Eastern Sports Festival is in Tallahasee this coming July (T&F, no lifting). If you can’t find Master’s/Senior’s competition there, you ain’t goin to find it. And there’s always pickle ball.
[/quote]
How cool! I thought there’d be a bunch of 1000 lb totals out there for some reason. I guess cause I’ve just been seeing too many sick high PL lifts on T-Nation. Equally cool is that one of my best friends is the head of the Tallahassee Sports Commission, and he probably is involved with this. I’ll give him a call. Man, its fun to just talk about lifting again. Thanks. Doc

319

[quote]Dr.PowerClean wrote:

How cool! I thought there’d be a bunch of 1000 lb totals out there for some reason.
[/quote]

Not quite a 1000 but I predict this year it will be:

Bp DL TL
440 550 990

We’ll see.

BTY, I’m still trying to find the articles but I read somewhere the first 60 year old just benched 500. I think he was wearing one of those shirts, though. Really can’t see that as a real bench but having never used one I really can’t be too judgemental.

320

Doc. I don’t think I’ll ever have a 400 bench but a 550 DL is well in the mix. As the crew and the big dogs say, it starts when the weight hits the floor.