[quote]ThatGirl77 wrote:
Wow. You’re really making yourself out to look like a rose here, arentcha?[/quote]
Hey, I was just trying to be respectful. You can guarantee if you were a guy, I would have played much rougher.
Now, doesn’t that say something.
Just a couple of things:
To say “Have some compassion for her situation” is fair enough. However more than one poster on this thread has specifically said “She shouldn’t be held accountable for her actions”. That ISN’T the same thing. The first statement is reasonable. It’s the second statement that a lot of the guys on here are taking issue with, because it’s complete and utter bullshit.
It appears (at least from what the original poster said) that she DIDN’T have compassion for the client’s situation. It also seems like she doesn’t admit she did anything wrong (forgive me if I’m wrong on this: the thread is getting long and I’ve skimmed over some responses). I’m not surprised he’s pissed off: why should he be the first one to move when he’s clearly in the right? Giving way first when you’re right isn’t ‘being big’ or ‘being compassionate’, it’s inviting the other party to make you into a fucking doormat.
[quote]Body Hammer wrote:
I stand by what I said. The woman was under some dire mental stress. That doesn’t mean Derek did something wrong. It just means that given the circumstances, anyone should have compassion for her situation, just as SHE should have compassion for the client’s situation.
Just a couple of things:
To say “Have some compassion for her situation” is fair enough. However more than one poster on this thread has specifically said “She shouldn’t be held accountable for her actions”. That ISN’T the same thing. The first statement is reasonable. It’s the second statement that a lot of the guys on here seem to take issue with, because it’s complete and utter bullshit.
It appears (at least from what the original poster said) that she DID’T have compassion for the client’s situation. It also seems like she doesn’t admit she did anything wrong (forgive me if I’m wrong on this: the thread is getting long and I’ve skimmed over some responses). I’m not surprised he’s pissed off: why should he be the first one to move when he’s clearly in the right? Giving way first when you’re right isn’t ‘being big’ or ‘being compassionate’, it’s inviting the other party to make you into a fucking doormat.
[/quote]
I’ll take this one!
Who’s right? Who’s wrong? Who gives a shit? What’s he supposed to do now to keep this from happening again? There’s the important question. If you want to assign blame, then blame me motherfucker! It’s not going to matter none.
Is there some kind or rulebook that was passed out for assigning blame to relationship problems, because I didn’t read that one? I read the book on prevention and solution.
Do you see this pattern ladies? MEN love to be right, the best way to do that is to assign blame. If they’re not to blame, then they must be right, right? Hogwash! I’d rather be wrong and remedy the situation, than be right and only perpetuate another outburst.
Accountability: Whose responsible? Both of them because they are in a relationship, which if I’m not mistaken takes two to tango. One end of the relationship needs to learn to trust and feel more secure. The other end needs to provide the feeling of security and trust. Since they cancel each other out, there is no point in assigning blame and holding anyone accountable.
It’s a mutual problem with a mutual solution. Both sides must take responsibility. Therefore, anyone wanting to assign blame to a side is just talking out of their ass!
Damn… there’s a guy deeply in touch with his feminine side.
[quote]Body Hammer wrote:
Damn… here’s a guy deeply in touch with his feminine side.
[/quote]
Not really, just reality… and I don’t even wear pink.
[quote]Professor X wrote:
ThatGirl77 wrote:
Wow. You’re really making yourself out to look like a rose here, arentcha?
Hey, I was just trying to be respectful. You can guarantee if you were a guy, I would have played much rougher.
Now, doesn’t that say something.[/quote]
Respectful? No. It’s not respectful for YOU to tell ME what I think or how I percieve things.
What should it say? That you’re still a jerk? It doesn’t matter how “respectful” you think you came across - you still came across as a confrontational jerk.
[quote]ThatGirl77 wrote:
Professor X wrote:
ThatGirl77 wrote:
Wow. You’re really making yourself out to look like a rose here, arentcha?
Hey, I was just trying to be respectful. You can guarantee if you were a guy, I would have played much rougher.
Now, doesn’t that say something.
Respectful? No. It’s not respectful for YOU to tell ME what I think or how I percieve things.
What should it say? That you’re still a jerk? It doesn’t matter how “respectful” you think you come across - you still come across as a confrontational jerk.[/quote]
“No man I’ve ever known can take what we women deal with.”
Maybe that would be more obvious to you if I wrote, “No woman I have ever known could make it through college or professional school”.
Maybe, “No woman I have ever known could make it through basic training or be competent in the military”.
Perhaps, “No woman I have ever known could be a supervisor or run a business as well as a man”.
Nope, that’s all me just being “confrontational”.
[quote]Professor X wrote:
ThatGirl77 wrote:
Respectful? No. It’s not respectful for YOU to tell ME what I think or how I percieve things.
What should it say? That you’re still a jerk? It doesn’t matter how “respectful” you think you come across - you still come across as a confrontational jerk.
“No man I’ve ever known can take what we women deal with.”
Maybe that would be more obvious to you if I wrote, “No woman I have ever known could make it through college or professional school”.
Maybe, “No woman I have ever known could make it through basic training or be competent in the military”.
Perhaps, “No woman I have ever known could be a supervisor or run a business as well as a man”.
Nope, that’s all me just being “confrontational”.[/quote]
Ok, what is your deal? You’re not making any sense but you keep going. What’s up?
[quote]Jillybop wrote:
I am telling you AGAIN that no woman with a 4 month old baby, a 3 year old and recent kidney stone surgery should be held accountable for her actions!
You guys have no idea how hard that is physically, mentally, emotionally and hormonally. She needs rest and TLC, and probably knows it’s not likely with 2 little ones (as good of a guy as Derek is). Feeling like total shit and seeing no light at the end of the tunnel is not a good place to be, trust me.
[/quote]
It took awhile for this to sink in. But, then I remembered the news over the summer. On July 26, 2006, a Texas jury found Andrea Yates not guilty by reason of insanity. As you may remember, Andrea Yates killed her five children. Her defense asserted postpartum psychosis as the reason she committed the killings. The Texas jury agreed.
So I guess Jilly and Thatgirl are right. Women are not to be held accountable on the basis that they emotionally, hormonally, insane.
[quote]ThatGirl77 wrote:
Ok, what is your deal? You’re not making any sense but you keep going. What’s up?[/quote]
How is it not making sense? Two people now have told you the same thing. I know it feels good to play the victim here, but your statement, the one YOU typed originally, the one I was initially responded to, shows that you need to feel, not equal, but superior.
That is truly what I feel is the problem we are having many times in society as far as confusion of gender roles. It isn’t enough to feel like a strong confident woman…you have to feel “stronger than men”.
I am all for a woman being valued for everything that makes her who she is. We all know about biology, periods, giving birth and the long list of other things that make your body different than that of a man’s. However, that doesn’t mean men aren’t strong and could never deal with what you deal with. We simply have a different set of problems.
Now, it has been explained to you in detail. Will you go on to act as if your statement was right to begin with, as in “women are right all of the time”, or will you admit that your statement was a little off?
[quote]Loose Tool wrote:
Jillybop wrote:
I am telling you AGAIN that no woman with a 4 month old baby, a 3 year old and recent kidney stone surgery should be held accountable for her actions!
You guys have no idea how hard that is physically, mentally, emotionally and hormonally. She needs rest and TLC, and probably knows it’s not likely with 2 little ones (as good of a guy as Derek is). Feeling like total shit and seeing no light at the end of the tunnel is not a good place to be, trust me.
It took awhile for this to sink in. But, then I remembered the news over the summer. On July 26, 2006, a Texas jury found Andrea Yates not guilty by reason of insanity. As you may remember, Andra Yates killed her five children. Her defense asserted postpartum psychosis as the reason she committed the killings. The Texasjury agreed.
So I guess Jilly and Thatgirl are right. Women are not to be held accountable on the basis that they emotionally, hormonally, insane.
[/quote]
Brilliant.
[quote]Loose Tool wrote:
Jillybop wrote:
I am telling you AGAIN that no woman with a 4 month old baby, a 3 year old and recent kidney stone surgery should be held accountable for her actions!
You guys have no idea how hard that is physically, mentally, emotionally and hormonally. She needs rest and TLC, and probably knows it’s not likely with 2 little ones (as good of a guy as Derek is). Feeling like total shit and seeing no light at the end of the tunnel is not a good place to be, trust me.
It took awhile for this to sink in. But, then I remembered the news over the summer. On July 26, 2006, a Texas jury found Andrea Yates not guilty by reason of insanity. As you may remember, Andra Yates killed her five children. Her defense asserted postpartum psychosis as the reason she committed the killings. The Texasjury agreed.
So I guess Jilly and Thatgirl are right. Women are not to be held accountable on the basis that they emotionally, hormonally, insane.
[/quote]
Wow. Way to misread it.
Two days before Andrea’s second trial, her ex-husband remarried. Hopefully he learned his lesson and found a non-breeder.
If I had been in your position, my wife would have been upset with me if I hadn’t stopped to check on the client.
[quote]Go heavy fool wrote:
sasquatch wrote:
Your direct quote is above:
No man I’ve ever known…
I don’t think X assumed anything. You did it to yourself, didntcha.
C’mon Sasquatch… is that how you talk to women? How do some of you guys ever find a woman, talking to them like that?
Save those harsh words for me. Seriously dude, no need to beat up on women, beat up fools like me.
[/quote]
Harsh words?
Beat up?
I used her own quote and her own phraseology to refute her statement. I didn’t swear. I didn’t capitalize. I didn’t exclamation point. Holy shit, if that’s being harsh then how should we comment when we disagree.
What about this posters attitude. She has been nothing but confrontational and over the top defensive, yet she’s given a pass because…why…she’s a female.
[quote]sasquatch wrote:
Go heavy fool wrote:
sasquatch wrote:
Your direct quote is above:
No man I’ve ever known…
I don’t think X assumed anything. You did it to yourself, didntcha.
C’mon Sasquatch… is that how you talk to women? How do some of you guys ever find a woman, talking to them like that?
Save those harsh words for me. Seriously dude, no need to beat up on women, beat up fools like me.
Harsh words?
Beat up?
I used her own quote and her own phraseology to refute her statement. I didn’t swear. I didn’t capitalize. I didn’t exclamation point. Holy shit, if that’s being harsh then how should we comment when we disagree.
What about this posters attitude. She has been nothing but confrontational and over the top defensive, yet she’s given a pass because…why…she’s a female.[/quote]
The last 6 words of your post to her were a sure fire way to piss her off or make her feel like shit. She is a WOMAN, you’re not. So, she has a frame of reference which she is relating to, she has a point. She is defending a position which I’m sure she has some experience in. If you would like to share with us how you feel when your menstrual cycle kicks in, by all means share with the group so we can extrapulate some information out of you.
[quote]Go heavy fool wrote:
sasquatch wrote:
Your direct quote is above:
No man I’ve ever known…
I don’t think X assumed anything. You did it to yourself, didntcha.
C’mon Sasquatch… is that how you talk to women? How do some of you guys ever find a woman, talking to them like that?
Save those harsh words for me. Seriously dude, no need to beat up on women, beat up fools like me.
[/quote]
Now to adress your first paragraph. It seems like your only response to most guys refers to their ability/inabilty to find a women just because of how they respond on here. I have been maried to a beautiful women for almost 20 years–who, by all accounts, deserves much better. Nonetheless, we love and trust one another totally. I don’t care what time of the month or what age my children were, this situation would have never come up. Are their moments–hell yes. Does it ever border on mistrust–never. My present and future actions and her reaction are based on my past actions. None, of which, have ever been unfaithful.
[quote]derek wrote:
in the back of my mind, I know that this or something like it will rear up once again.[/quote]
Derek, since this isn’t an isolated event, what specific reasons does your wife give you for why she doesn’t trust you?
From what you’ve told us, your actions seem trustworthy, so where do you think her fear/insecurity stems from? If not from you, could it be from examples she’s seen in other couples’ relationships?
[quote]sasquatch wrote:
Go heavy fool wrote:
sasquatch wrote:
Your direct quote is above:
No man I’ve ever known…
I don’t think X assumed anything. You did it to yourself, didntcha.
C’mon Sasquatch… is that how you talk to women? How do some of you guys ever find a woman, talking to them like that?
Save those harsh words for me. Seriously dude, no need to beat up on women, beat up fools like me.
Now to adress your first paragraph. It seems like your only response to most guys refers to their ability/inabilty to find a women just because of how they respond on here. I have been maried to a beautiful women for almost 20 years–who, by all accounts, deserves much better. Nonetheless, we love and trust one another totally. I don’t care what time of the month or what age my children were, this situation would have never come up. Are their moments–hell yes. Does it ever border on mistrust–never. My present and future actions and her reaction are based on my past actions. None, of which, have ever been unfaithful.[/quote]
Great, keep the faith Sasquatch. But, don’t ever talk to a woman like that. That’s disrespectful man. Whether she’s your wife or not. If she had the power to belt you one back whenever she didn’t like what you said, then you can talk to them on another level. Until then, talk to someone like me like that, or any other man that is capable of handleing another man. That’s why you don’t talk down to women. They don’t have the power of the fist to knock you out when they get disrespected; well some of them do, but not many. Sure they have the power to yell back, but that’s not always enough when the man can just ball up and crack her one. You may want to do it, but you can’t do it. Any man that ever touches a woman is just a punk pussy asshole if you ask me. Ya know, what I’m saying. I’m not saying you would or ever did hit a woman, but the way you talk to them has me wondering.
Now I would knock a man the hell out, I have done it a few times. You will not see me disregard harsh words for another man when he deserves it. But, when it comes to a woman, you bite your fuckin’ tongue. Plain and simple, or else she’ll find some man to take care of your ass and knock you the fuck out… do you see what I’m saying? I would rather you just insult me and talk down to me, because I have the power to defend myself. Say we were on the street, how would a woman defend herself against a naturally more powerful man? She can’t. But, I could. Therefore, if you’re going to do any slingin… sling it my way.
[quote]Body Hammer wrote:
Jillybop wrote:
I am telling you AGAIN that no woman with a 4 month old baby, a 3 year old and recent kidney stone surgery should be held accountable for her actions!
So are guys also allowed to have a time when they’re not held accountable for their actions?
[/quote]
Exactly.