Which makes most of them ultimately miserable from what I have seen.
We have a CAO - came from high up at Bank of America - very sharp and seasoned at business. Her biggest regret is never having children - self admitted. She literally told me if she could go back she would give all this success up for children.
The problem is that people change. As seen in Bauberās example, people often donāt really know what they want until itās too late to have it. And if you marry a woman who thinks that she wants a career, it will ultimately be a problem for you if she realizes that sheād prefer to have a family ten years later.
There are exceptions to almost everything. But most people will find the most fulfillment in following traditional gender roles.
Certainly, you can have a dual income no kids power couple type of understanding. But I would ask a man who signs up for that what he is really looking for.
I certainly wanted a family oriented spouse that wanted children.
Any career focused female I would have fun with, but never consider for a serious relationship. Nothing wrong with a female making that decision - just not what I would ever consider marriage material for me.
Wish more people made decisions like this.
Have they just both fallen for the āI want someone to build an empire withā chat? Women believe their income contributes to them being high-value, but the men who are building these āempiresā rarely want that kind of woman, they want a woman to submit to gender roles whilst they do their thing. As sad as that may be, itās likely both of them will be happier that way in the long run. There are always exceptions to the rule, but as a generalization this is true. If thatās the way a man or woman thinks they want to go there is absolutely no shame in that, I am 100% in favour of a woman chasing a career or a man picking a career woman. Just donāt put the blame on the opposite gender if it goes wrong years down the line and you canāt be accountable for your own decisions.
Absolutely.
There is a big difference between building an empire together and two people each building their own empires while they also happen to sleep in the same bed. A man who is building an empire doesnāt need a wife who has a big paycheck.
Exactly where I was.
But, my wife supports it and does phenomenal things in our home with our children. I do too. I cook. I clean. I wash clothes. I fold clothes. I change diapers. I bathe kids, etc. because I love them. I will work myself to the bone for them and then some to make sure they are taken care of.
But, when work calls mine takes precedent. She also contributes to the businesses with various things. Legally she owns half of every business I have and is aware of this.
It is a partnership. I may have the final say on most things, but we always discuss things as a team. With having the final say, the repercussions and burdens also fall to me to deal with if there is failure I own it.
If there is success, we both share it.
If the woman is bringing in a nice, steady paycheck, it does make it a lot easier to make those initial, risky moves required to start the empire.
Itās nice to still have groceries when all Your money is tied up.
Help is always nice. My wife has always worked and worked as pretty much the sole income during my years of law school.
I had a few side hustles at the time, but nothing amazing.
Itās also human nature to not be satisfied with what you have.
Itās possible that, had that woman chose to have a family instead, that she would have felt later on that having a family held her back, and probably resent her partner.
Some people are like that.
How would we define toxic femininity?
I think itās a double-edged sword. Thereās toxic feminity in the culture of āshould be this, should act like that, should wear more make-up, should dress like thisā, an over-emphasis on feminine traits that should apparently be adhered to. Then thereās the other side, an internalization of discontent for patriarchy, male hatred, over-sexualization, and failure to understand that equality of opportunity does correspond with equality of outcome.
I think you are confusing feminism with femininity.
I would never want a life partner or spouse unless I have a stable career
Itās too risky.
I think you are dismissing how closely tied they are to a large group of modern women.
Just because they confuse the two doesnāt mean I have to play along. The original feminists did see the difference and tried to reconcile the two.
redundant
I donāt understand this reasoning, haha. Like, you would only want one if you could confidently financially support them? Is that what youāre saying?
no. I donāt want to be financially dependent on another person, whether thatās my parents or a spouse.
I do not believe in unconditional love from those who are not biologically obligated to. If my spouse were to leave me, I want to be able to support myself without starting over. This also gives me the ability to leave my spouse if the match does not work out.
With my parents, I donāt think itās fair for them to have to support me for longer than they are obligated to (past 18) nor do I expect an inheritance. There are much better things to do with that money. I fully intend to pay them back for covering my tuition, housing, food, medical expensesā¦
Another thing is that I hate debt. I donāt always expect friends to pay me back for things, but I will always pay my share the second the bill comes out.
Depends on the situation.
My wife literally owns half of everything I own as I have accumulated 90% of what we own after marriage.
There is no prenup as I didnāt have shit when we got married. She had more than me.
Sooooo, she would have a 50% stake in every business and all monetary things. She would live very nicely for the rest of her life with zero need to work.
But, she does have a career as she teaches. She is already vested with the state and owns 5 soap stores that she runs as well.