I understand the sentiment of this thread. All of my closest friends now live in different cities and different countries. Many times when i’m hanging out with new people i’m thinking, “man they just aren’t as awesome as my old friends! I should go visit so and so.” Which makes it hard to make new friends. I get along well with 90 percent of the people i hang out with, but it doesn’t mean i wanna spend the time to befriend all of them either. Is that laziness or practicality?
[quote]Colin Wilson wrote:
You know why Divorce is so expensive?
Because it’s worth it…
I walked away from everything except my truck, a bed and the bedroom tv and was way better off for it. All that stuff got replaced, including the wife, with better! To be honest though we married very young and were not very compatible. My second wife and I enjoy more common interests, goals, and just life a whole lot more. [/quote]
hahaha…I gotta hang onto that for another 14 months .
I’ve been married and divorced twice . the second one brought the proverbial financial shit-storm-from-Hell down on me . Im still paying that one off…Im like those folks in the movie Titanic as they clung to the railing as the last couple hundred feet of ship slipped beneath the waves , with the mortgage sharks circling underneath .
but there is light up ahead
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]Grneyes wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]Professor X wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]Professor X wrote:
LOL like divorces or “near divorces” are so strange today.[/quote]
No, but IH, Joe and I are happily married and actually enjoy hanging with our wife. So we find it weird, I know we are the exception now and not the rule. So our question is more of “How does that happen” type of curious. [/quote]
Yeah, but you’ve had divorces too.
It’s too common today to act as if this is so strange.
I find it more strange he is staying with her…but then…maybe he doesn’t want to lose all his shit.[/quote]
True I guess strange is not how I was looking at that part, more curious.
I have two guys that I could call to bury a body or would be beside me in jail. I have a lot of other friends that I have made that are pretty close. And I am an asshole in general who would rather stay at the house and play on my PS3.
I find it strange he has not made any “real” bonds with anyone in his life, that is strange. [/quote]
If we lived anywhere within driving distance of each other I know what you and IH would be doing. JLo and I would have to go out drinking and “commiserate” about our husbands wanting to stay home and play video games.[/quote]
Lol yes she likes to shop for shoes.
I am fixing to go turn on the PSN and start “Killing things” as she likes to call it. 
Someday Greeny we all will meet, its fate. [/quote]
Man, all i’d have to do would be to step off that plane when it landed in Texas…BAM!!! MELANOMA!!!
It would be a good time, though.
good thread
I used to hang with a group of friends way more than I do now . my twenties was spent hanging with a rather rowdy bunch of drinkers . dont miss that . thirties was a toned down version , smaller group , but still pretty much just a social group centered around drinking
then one September day as I sat mith my wife and friends watching Packer footbal , as all loyal Wisconsinites do , I realized that I would rather be at the river fishing for Salmon . and that was the day shit started to change .
now ,I dont see my 2 best friends hardly at all any more . last time I was at the one dudes place , we watched basketball…and had a few beers …put a fuckin’ gun in my mouth already . the last time I went to the other guys cabin fishing , we sat around all saturday afternoon watching baseball…again , gun please . the other dude quit calling to come out to drink with him after about 50 times of me making up excuses why I cant .
I dont miss those social circles a bit…good riddance .
I got shit to do
[quote]marlboroman wrote:
good thread
I used to hang with a group of friends way more than I do now . my twenties was spent hanging with a rather rowdy bunch of drinkers . dont miss that . thirties was a toned down version , smaller group , but still pretty much just a social group centered around drinking
then one September day as I sat mith my wife and friends watching Packer footbal , as all loyal Wisconsinites do , I realized that I would rather be at the river fishing for Salmon . and that was the day shit started to change .
now ,I dont see my 2 best friends hardly at all any more . last time I was at the one dudes place , we watched basketball…and had a few beers …put a fuckin’ gun in my mouth already . the last time I went to the other guys cabin fishing , we sat around all saturday afternoon watching baseball…again , gun please . the other dude quit calling to come out to drink with him after about 50 times of me making up excuses why I cant .
I dont miss those social circles a bit…good riddance .
I got shit to do[/quote]
Damn…some of you don’t sound like the types of people others would want to be around anyway.
I like my friends. They wouldn’t be my friends if we had NOTHING in common but watching tv.
[quote]Professor X wrote:
[quote]marlboroman wrote:
good thread
I used to hang with a group of friends way more than I do now . my twenties was spent hanging with a rather rowdy bunch of drinkers . dont miss that . thirties was a toned down version , smaller group , but still pretty much just a social group centered around drinking
then one September day as I sat mith my wife and friends watching Packer footbal , as all loyal Wisconsinites do , I realized that I would rather be at the river fishing for Salmon . and that was the day shit started to change .
now ,I dont see my 2 best friends hardly at all any more . last time I was at the one dudes place , we watched basketball…and had a few beers …put a fuckin’ gun in my mouth already . the last time I went to the other guys cabin fishing , we sat around all saturday afternoon watching baseball…again , gun please . the other dude quit calling to come out to drink with him after about 50 times of me making up excuses why I cant .
I dont miss those social circles a bit…good riddance .
I got shit to do[/quote]
Damn…some of you don’t sound like the types of people others would want to be around anyway.
I like my friends. They wouldn’t be my friends if we had NOTHING in common but watching tv.
[/quote]
exactly . nothing in common any more .
Im setting up now to do some banded good mornings and squats and foam rolling to ready myself for squatting again on Sunday…and theyre all watching American Idol or sitting at the tavern .
when Im leaving the house to fish for big flatheads into the wee hours of the morning , they’re all drunk in bed .
had to leave that all behind
EDIT IN…
but you’re right . If your idea of a good time is to watch TV and drink beer , then Im probably not high on the “Need To Invite” list
[quote]marlboroman wrote:
exactly . nothing in common any more .
Im setting up now to do some banded good mornings and squats and foam rolling to ready myself for squatting again on Sunday…and theyre all watching American Idol or sitting at the tavern .
when Im leaving the house to fish for big flatheads into the wee hours of the morning , they’re all drunk in bed .
had to leave that all behind
[/quote]
I only have two close friends who train and neither of them keep at it like I do. I am on my own as far as the gym, even though I know a shit load of people there now.
I have been close to people…and then drifted apart years later. This happened big time moving from high school to college…and then again leaving college for professional school. I can understand on that level.
Honestly, I think I am closest to the people who stuck by me when dealing with some of the harsher issues in my life. We may not have everything in common. In fact, I know we don’t…but they have my utmost respect for who they are and what they are trying to be.
[quote]Professor X wrote:
[/quote]
I only have two close friends who train and neither of them keep at it like I do. I am on my own as far as the gym, even though I know a shit load of people there now.
I have been close to people…and then drifted apart years later. This happened big time moving from high school to college…and then again leaving college for professional school. I can understand on that level.
Honestly, I think I am closest to the people who stuck by me when dealing with some of the harsher issues in my life. We may not have everything in common. In fact, I know we don’t…but they have my utmost respect for who they are and what they are trying to be.
[/quote]
yeah…I know a few who train at the gym . a few of the dudes who Im workin’ to catch strength-wise ; and a gal who competes BBer (about 110 lbs) . I talk training with them , but I would refer to them as acquaintances before friends . not that I wouldnt want to hang outside the gym , but folks get into their own groove and dont like to change it up once it becomes comfortable . kinda strange I guess .
but my real , long term friends hardly see me at all . I like running into them , sure . and you’re right about the real friends being around when the shit-pile falls…which I’d help them out at a moments notice as they would me . but when it comes to just hangin’ out , I cant do it any more . and I think it’s because this same small circle has it’s roots in the height of the “hangover years” . I tell ya ,if you’ve never spent time in Wisconsin , try it for about a month . the alcohol culture is un-believable here . almost impossible to avoid . seems like when one removes himself from a specific culture , the relationships rooted in that culture fade away .
[quote]Stern wrote:
[quote]Professor X wrote:
I would find it odd to make it through life and meet no one at all like that unless you aren’t a good friend yourself.[/quote]
This is without a doubt the base of friendship. You have to give to get and the longer you’ve been giving the greater that relationship will become…or, as X said, it will crumble under the weight of learning someone’s true face.
I lost contact with all my highschool friends when I left the states (back before the internet was commonly used) but managed to luckily fall into a group of guys my cousin hung out with since his school days. 20 odd years later and the six of us are all pretty damn close; email each other every day, play games together, have BBQ’s (when the damnable Scottish weather allows) and go camping twice a year where we raise hell and let off city steam and frustrations. We’ve had our fair share of fall-outs but we’ve always tackled the issues and put them to rest as we value each other’s friendship very highly. These fallouts and 'ins, as one might suspect, also brought us closer together as a group. And neither women, nor weans, has put a stop to us getting together and enjoying each other’s company.
I am by nature, it seems, quite hermetic. As is Mrs Stern. If it wasn’t for that group of guys up above I wouldn’t say I had any close friends and I’m certainly, at this stage in my life, not overly concerned with making new ones. Casual friends I’m quite happy to make and I’m always up for meeting kind, like-minded individuals with the same passions. Close friendships however take time to grow. And with most of my time being devoted to my bestest friend ever, Mrs Stern, I just don’t have the time nor energy to make that commitment.
That being said I too find it unusual the Op isn’t that close to his wife. Seriously, if your wife isn’t your best friend then you need to address that issue cause that’s pretty fucking serious. I couldn’t live with someone I wasn’t incredibly close to and I am by no means unique in that way I’m sure.
FWIW: of all the forums I’ve frequented I have to say this one has the biggest bunch of interesting characters I’ve seen and I’m very thankful I found it a couple of years ago. Some of you are dicks. Some of you are hilarious. Others are wise and knowledgable and nutty. But most of you are incredibly passionate people and that, to me, makes this place special because I absolutely adore passion.
[/quote]
Yeah, T-Nation is a great place with lots of funny, smart and upstanding characters.
The only other forum I used to post on was a Star Trek one and they really were like Sheldon from Big Bang Theory.
I mean the kind that if you post a pic of a shoeprint you saw that looks like Bea Arthur, the next 12 people post just to say “Nopre, I don’t see it,” while the same thign posted here will get a bunch of guys that say they see it, or maybe they see another face, but they definitely see a face.
That’s just the way it is on T-Nation. More of a regular kinda guy place and not the typical nerd like over there.
[quote]Nards wrote:
[quote]Stern wrote:
[quote]Professor X wrote:
I would find it odd to make it through life and meet no one at all like that unless you aren’t a good friend yourself.[/quote]
This is without a doubt the base of friendship. You have to give to get and the longer you’ve been giving the greater that relationship will become…or, as X said, it will crumble under the weight of learning someone’s true face.
I lost contact with all my highschool friends when I left the states (back before the internet was commonly used) but managed to luckily fall into a group of guys my cousin hung out with since his school days. 20 odd years later and the six of us are all pretty damn close; email each other every day, play games together, have BBQ’s (when the damnable Scottish weather allows) and go camping twice a year where we raise hell and let off city steam and frustrations. We’ve had our fair share of fall-outs but we’ve always tackled the issues and put them to rest as we value each other’s friendship very highly. These fallouts and 'ins, as one might suspect, also brought us closer together as a group. And neither women, nor weans, has put a stop to us getting together and enjoying each other’s company.
I am by nature, it seems, quite hermetic. As is Mrs Stern. If it wasn’t for that group of guys up above I wouldn’t say I had any close friends and I’m certainly, at this stage in my life, not overly concerned with making new ones. Casual friends I’m quite happy to make and I’m always up for meeting kind, like-minded individuals with the same passions. Close friendships however take time to grow. And with most of my time being devoted to my bestest friend ever, Mrs Stern, I just don’t have the time nor energy to make that commitment.
That being said I too find it unusual the Op isn’t that close to his wife. Seriously, if your wife isn’t your best friend then you need to address that issue cause that’s pretty fucking serious. I couldn’t live with someone I wasn’t incredibly close to and I am by no means unique in that way I’m sure.
FWIW: of all the forums I’ve frequented I have to say this one has the biggest bunch of interesting characters I’ve seen and I’m very thankful I found it a couple of years ago. Some of you are dicks. Some of you are hilarious. Others are wise and knowledgable and nutty. But most of you are incredibly passionate people and that, to me, makes this place special because I absolutely adore passion.
[/quote]
Yeah, T-Nation is a great place with lots of funny, smart and upstanding characters.
The only other forum I used to post on was a Star Trek one and they really were like Sheldon from Big Bang Theory.
I mean the kind that if you post a pic of a shoeprint you saw that looks like Bea Arthur, the next 12 people post just to say “Nopre, I don’t see it,” while the same thign posted here will get a bunch of guys that say they see it, or maybe they see another face, but they definitely see a face.
That’s just the way it is on T-Nation. More of a regular kinda guy place and not the typical nerd like over there.[/quote]
I’m a fan of ST but a ST forum sounds really lame. But I do understand why this site is more interesting, here you can be the king of nerds.
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
I thought imaginary friends was just really internet porn. [/quote]
Apparently not.
interesting, seems some expect their friends to be just like them, all 100% dedicated to iron all of the time. those that know me know i spend probably 98% of my waking life thinking about either lifting or sex, has been that way for about 28 years now.
however, aside from my training partners, most of my friends are occasional lifters at best, serious drunks at worse. there are other life experiences and interests that bond us.
that also being said i also don’t expect, or want, a friend to be around to entertain me every single weekend. we are adults with our own responsiblities. this isn’t drifting apart, this is being a grown up
[quote]imhungry wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]Grneyes wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]Professor X wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]Professor X wrote:
LOL like divorces or “near divorces” are so strange today.[/quote]
No, but IH, Joe and I are happily married and actually enjoy hanging with our wife. So we find it weird, I know we are the exception now and not the rule. So our question is more of “How does that happen” type of curious. [/quote]
Yeah, but you’ve had divorces too.
It’s too common today to act as if this is so strange.
I find it more strange he is staying with her…but then…maybe he doesn’t want to lose all his shit.[/quote]
True I guess strange is not how I was looking at that part, more curious.
I have two guys that I could call to bury a body or would be beside me in jail. I have a lot of other friends that I have made that are pretty close. And I am an asshole in general who would rather stay at the house and play on my PS3.
I find it strange he has not made any “real” bonds with anyone in his life, that is strange. [/quote]
If we lived anywhere within driving distance of each other I know what you and IH would be doing. JLo and I would have to go out drinking and “commiserate” about our husbands wanting to stay home and play video games.[/quote]
Lol yes she likes to shop for shoes.
I am fixing to go turn on the PSN and start “Killing things” as she likes to call it.
Someday Greeny we all will meet, its fate. [/quote]
Man, all i’d have to do would be to step off that plane when it landed in Texas…BAM!!! MELANOMA!!!
It would be a good time, though.
[/quote]
Lol, Sunblock 500 for sure or just wear this on the plane.
OP, obviously you are noticing a trend.
Is it possible that maybe improved communication technology (i.e. internet, texting, etc.) is causing people to develop more shallow but also more common friendships? You only have so much free time. You can spread that around, or focus on one or a few people.
It could have to do that we are much more mobile as a population and true friendship takes years to hone. Have you been in the same town for many years? Have your old buddies moved away?
Maybe we are becoming more solitary because we are less dependent for survival or entertainment? That could explain why you have more friends in school, namely because you need them.
Hard to tell. My definition of true friend has become much stricter over time.
I always heard that if you have 5 true friends in your lifetime you’d be a lucky individual and after living on this earth for a couple decades I think it’s true.
[quote]mud lark wrote:
OP, obviously you are noticing a trend.
Is it possible that maybe improved communication technology (i.e. internet, texting, etc.) is causing people to develop more shallow but also more common friendships? You only have so much free time. You can spread that around, or focus on one or a few people.
[/quote]
I went to college in 2004, took a break, and returned in recent years. The way in which people interact with one another has changed profoundly. People tend to be a lot more isolated these days with the rise of social networking sites and portable web dealies (e.g., iPhones, laptops). When look around campus, everyone has their face buried in a phone, connected to Facebook or whatever the kids are doing these days. When I finish a set at the gym, I look up and see people’s face’s buried in a phone or iPad. When I go out to eat, I see people hanging out with one another…while tapping away at their phones the entire time. This was NOT how people interacted when I first went to school.
And honestly, this shit weirds me out. I’ve never been a very social person, one to go out and make as many friends as possible (and it’s nice to see I’m not the only one, according to this thread). So I think this kind of environment makes things even more difficult for those of us who might already have somewhat antisocial tendencies.
[quote]bcingu wrote:
[quote]mud lark wrote:
OP, obviously you are noticing a trend.
Is it possible that maybe improved communication technology (i.e. internet, texting, etc.) is causing people to develop more shallow but also more common friendships? You only have so much free time. You can spread that around, or focus on one or a few people.
[/quote]
I went to college in 2004, took a break, and returned in recent years. The way in which people interact with one another has changed profoundly. People tend to be a lot more isolated these days with the rise of social networking sites and portable web dealies (e.g., iPhones, laptops). When look around campus, everyone has their face buried in a phone, connected to Facebook or whatever the kids are doing these days. When I finish a set at the gym, I look up and see people’s face’s buried in a phone or iPad. When I go out to eat, I see people hanging out with one another…while tapping away at their phones the entire time. This was NOT how people interacted when I first went to school.
And honestly, this shit weirds me out. I’ve never been a very social person, one to go out and make as many friends as possible (and it’s nice to see I’m not the only one, according to this thread). So I think this kind of environment makes things even more difficult for those of us who might already have somewhat antisocial tendencies.[/quote]
I’m in the same boat. Started college for the first degree in 2003 and went back for a second degree and graduate in may. I have some really good friends here and I don’t know if I should leave them for a job. A good career is great, but my friends make are the ones I spend the money with anyway. So what’s more important?
This is just sad. I’m not sure how normal it is, but I hope it never happens to me or mine.
Right, my wife is truly my best friend. I had some great friends in high school who would do anything for me but once I got into and out of college, our connection was just cut. I was different and they stayed behind in the small town and never left(I think). I made some good friends in college but now that I moved off, I hardly see them. Once my wife and I settle down again at the end of the year(going back to school), things will be different.
[quote]Oleena wrote:
This is just sad. I’m not sure how normal it is, but I hope it never happens to me or mine.[/quote]
don’t worry about normal, Oleena - I am positive that normal is nowhere in your future.