#1 Seduction Artist in the World 2012 - Arash Dibazar

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521

[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

This makes me very sad for the sweet young woman and I wonder why the man who professes to love her doesn’t feel the same. Because if he did, there would be no question what to do, and wouldn’t have been that night. That being the case, he should consider his ability to make commitments of this magnitude.

[/quote]

Sadly, the, um, guy does love her. He would never hurt her intentionally.

Orion is correct that guys can cheat just because a girl is hot and there is no emotional betrayal involved. Sad, but that’s how guys are wired.[/quote]

There is emotional betrayal involved if you betray HER emotionally. That’s the point of betrayal, you do it TO someone. If we’re friends and I steal something from you does it matter if I didn’t even care about having it?

522

no comment on my Osmond vids?

what’re’ya’all, retarded or something?

523

[quote]Edgy wrote:
no comment on my Osmond vids?

what’re’ya’all, retarded or something?

[/quote]
Was too scared to watch…

524

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

This makes me very sad for the sweet young woman and I wonder why the man who professes to love her doesn’t feel the same. Because if he did, there would be no question what to do, and wouldn’t have been that night. That being the case, he should consider his ability to make commitments of this magnitude.

[/quote]

Sadly, the, um, guy does love her. He would never hurt her intentionally.

Orion is correct that guys can cheat just because a girl is hot and there is no emotional betrayal involved. Sad, but that’s how guys are wired.[/quote]

There is emotional betrayal involved if you betray HER emotionally. That’s the point of betrayal, you do it TO someone. If we’re friends and I steal something from you does it matter if I didn’t even care about having it?[/quote]

I think we’re passing in the night here on what I am trying to express.

Of course, the fiance would be emotionally betrayed, if she knew.

An event like this, from the man’s perspective, is emotionally neutral. It’s 100% physical and does not change the emotions towards the fiance.

I’m also not denying this is an immensely stupid and unfair thing to do, for many reasons.

525

[quote]Edgy wrote:
no comment on my Osmond vids?

what’re’ya’all, retarded or something?

[/quote]

Their teeth scare me.

526

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:
I’m going to ask the players and the non-players their thoughts on a hypothetical situation.

Let’s say a guy is happily engaged to a smart, very hot, sweet young woman. Wants her to have his babies.

While in another town, say Houston, to see his financial planners and various lawyers for a big financial firm, he goes to dinner at a steak house called the Strip Club (really, a steak house) with the legal team for his company and the financial company (say a financial company is trying to convince said hypothetical guy to buy another company, merge, and go public) at the and there is a nice little hard bodied lawyer-ette who is in her first year at some mega-lawyer law firm. Cheered for a big 12 team when in undergrad. Subtle, but nice, fake tits.

They have an after-dinner drink at the Four Seasons bar and then go upstairs where she proceeds to give him and awesome, balls-draining, blow job, then they hang out a bit and have some seriously hard core sex.

She’s very aware he’s all-but-married, but wants to hook up during an oil-and-gas drunk fest known as NAPE that is next week.

In typical lawyer fashion, she does not text, email, and calls come from her office, and she specifically advised the hypothetical guy to do the same.

Now, how would each of the various camps handle this purely hypothetical situation?[/quote]

This makes me very sad for the sweet young woman and I wonder why the man who professes to love her doesn’t feel the same. Because if he did, there would be no question what to do, and wouldn’t have been that night. That being the case, he should consider his ability to make commitments of this magnitude.

[/quote]

Emily:

I am not going to pick on TTR. Pretty much 99.99% of men, out of town, bit intoxicated, being flattered by the attention of a pretty woman, would fall for this trap. I’ve been close and I avoid situations like this like the plague.

That said, there is nothing to do about the past. The key is to not get put into the trap AGAIN. Thus, he should not go to NAEP or whatever it is.

TTR:

What is interesting to me is it is illegal, or at least unethical, for a lawyer to sleep with a client in most states. I don’t know Texas law on the issue (assuming she is a Texas lawyer, although she traveled to Houston, so I really don’t know), but it’s at least a fireable offense. This might be a useful means of ending the situation abruptly.

+++++++

I am also going to note that you (or rather the “hypotheical guy”) set a perfect PUA trap for her, whether you knew it or not. From the previous threads and pictures, I can attest you’re a good looking, fit, dude. (Not gay, promise.) You are apparently well off, smart, and successful. So you are ahead of the game already.

You have the forced introduciton of a business situation that removes the obstical of the approach.

Taken together, that’s like starting on third base.

On top of that, and most imporant, having been to many an investment banker/lawyer meeting, all this young lady’s bosses were trying to impress you and are impressed by you, or they wouldn’t be courting you. So you had instant “high social value” or whatever the heck the PUA guys call it.

Finally, you were talking business, and she, the low person on the totem pole had little to say. As an attractive and presumably smart girl, she’s probably used to LOTS of attention, and you gave her little or none. So you left her insecure and wanting your attention.

Hence, the result.

++++++++

Finally, I understand you are dating a Jewish girl. Channel the scene from Entourage where Ari’s new partner/old friend from college who did the TV business got caught sleeping with some young agent and his wife of 15 years came in screaming “Who is the bitch that is fucking my husband!?” This is in your future.[/quote]

As usual, I agree.

Lead not into temptation, but deliver from evil.

528

[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

This makes me very sad for the sweet young woman and I wonder why the man who professes to love her doesn’t feel the same. Because if he did, there would be no question what to do, and wouldn’t have been that night. That being the case, he should consider his ability to make commitments of this magnitude.

[/quote]

Sadly, the, um, guy does love her. He would never hurt her intentionally.

Orion is correct that guys can cheat just because a girl is hot and there is no emotional betrayal involved. Sad, but that’s how guys are wired.[/quote]

There is emotional betrayal involved if you betray HER emotionally. That’s the point of betrayal, you do it TO someone. If we’re friends and I steal something from you does it matter if I didn’t even care about having it?[/quote]

I think we’re passing in the night here on what I am trying to express.

Of course, the fiance would be emotionally betrayed, if she knew.

An event like this, from the man’s perspective, is emotionally neutral. It’s 100% physical and does not change the emotions towards the fiance.

I’m also not denying this is an immensely stupid and unfair thing to do, for many reasons.[/quote]

Okay, then. As long as you realize that your perspective is not the only one hat matters, and in my opinion is not even the one that matters most (determined by assessing who has the most to gain or lose).

529

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

As for my marriage ending, he lost me for reasons that are far more complicated than I have time or energy to go into. Misrepresented himself was a piece, cheated was a piece, spending too much money was a piece, sexual issues played a part…and then there was a family crisis that ultimately blew the whole thing up.

[/quote]

Driving home from work I realized I should mention that I wasn’t actually the one who broke it off, sort of. He was very depressed and was given to expressing that he just wanted to be left alone. The above are what finally made me stop doggedly trying to preserve it. I called it, but only because he’d become nasty (had taken a job out of state, and was happier without people to distract him from the TV). When we talked after the dust settled a bit he admitted that he was relieved. Which was a gift to me, because I was pretty tormented by the decision.

I’m told that he has regrets, but I don’t. I had no idea how dark things had gotten until he’d gone. So yay.

Not about beta/alpha or hypergamy.

530

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

As for my marriage ending, he lost me for reasons that are far more complicated than I have time or energy to go into. Misrepresented himself was a piece, cheated was a piece, spending too much money was a piece, sexual issues played a part…and then there was a family crisis that ultimately blew the whole thing up.

[/quote]

Driving home from work I realized I should mention that I wasn’t actually the one who broke it off, sort of. He was very depressed and was given to expressing that he just wanted to be left alone. The above are what finally made me stop doggedly trying to preserve it. I called it, but only because he’d become nasty (had taken a job out of state, and was happier without people to distract him from the TV). When we talked after the dust settled a bit he admitted that he was relieved. Which was a gift to me, because I was pretty tormented by the decision.

I’m told that he has regrets, but I don’t. I had no idea how dark things had gotten until he’d gone. So yay.

Not about beta/alpha or hypergamy. [/quote]

Is this relationship what you always thought (and hoped) it would be? How much better is your state of mind, now that you’re with somebody you are obviously much more compatible with?

…if I may ask, that is.

532

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

As for my marriage ending, he lost me for reasons that are far more complicated than I have time or energy to go into. Misrepresented himself was a piece, cheated was a piece, spending too much money was a piece, sexual issues played a part…and then there was a family crisis that ultimately blew the whole thing up.

[/quote]

Driving home from work I realized I should mention that I wasn’t actually the one who broke it off, sort of. He was very depressed and was given to expressing that he just wanted to be left alone. The above are what finally made me stop doggedly trying to preserve it. I called it, but only because he’d become nasty (had taken a job out of state, and was happier without people to distract him from the TV). When we talked after the dust settled a bit he admitted that he was relieved. Which was a gift to me, because I was pretty tormented by the decision.

I’m told that he has regrets, but I don’t. I had no idea how dark things had gotten until he’d gone. So yay.

Not about beta/alpha or hypergamy. [/quote]

Is this relationship what you always thought (and hoped) it would be? How much better is your state of mind, now that you’re with somebody you are obviously much more compatible with?

…if I may ask, that is.[/quote]

^^^ Nosey-ass tiger.
[/quote]
I don’t know what you are talking about, sir.

533

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

As for my marriage ending, he lost me for reasons that are far more complicated than I have time or energy to go into. Misrepresented himself was a piece, cheated was a piece, spending too much money was a piece, sexual issues played a part…and then there was a family crisis that ultimately blew the whole thing up.

[/quote]

Driving home from work I realized I should mention that I wasn’t actually the one who broke it off, sort of. He was very depressed and was given to expressing that he just wanted to be left alone. The above are what finally made me stop doggedly trying to preserve it. I called it, but only because he’d become nasty (had taken a job out of state, and was happier without people to distract him from the TV). When we talked after the dust settled a bit he admitted that he was relieved. Which was a gift to me, because I was pretty tormented by the decision.

I’m told that he has regrets, but I don’t. I had no idea how dark things had gotten until he’d gone. So yay.

Not about beta/alpha or hypergamy. [/quote]

Is this relationship what you always thought (and hoped) it would be? How much better is your state of mind, now that you’re with somebody you are obviously much more compatible with?

…if I may ask, that is.[/quote]

You certainly may ask, though I’m not sure I have a solid answer. I’m crazy about this guy, which is probably obvious. But the flip side of that is that it’s really scary. What if he changes his mind about me? Also scary is that he’s so attuned to me. It’s eerie to me the way he can tell (even over the phone) when I’m upset about something, and I assume he is equally aware when I’m feeling abject adoration, which is so uncool. So NOT good game. I feel very exposed. My ex-husband wasn’t able to read me at all, which gave me a great deal of privacy. I find the tables turned, which is disconcerting. We had some rough stuff in the beginning based on his assumption that I was unaware that there are taller men than him (he’s my height) and ones with more money, and as a result behaved in ways that were confusing to me. I think he’s feeling secure now, though, and he’s become very solid, which is helping.

I suppose my state of mind is an extremely hopeful one. The time I spend with him is always good. We have most Fridays at my place. I cook and then we watch a movie or whatever, snuggle on the couch. The idea that someday these evenings could be plain old weeknights…the potatoes burning while we fool around on the kitchen floor…makes me feel breathless with joy. I love how he smells and tastes and laughs. I love how alert and curious he is. I love that he never seems to feel threatened by me and delights in my strengths. I love that he knows my flaws and doesn’t mind them, and isn’t defensive about his own.

So I guess, looking at it…yes. It is what I hoped it would be. :slight_smile: However, I’m known to have my head in the clouds, so it could all come crashing down. Things do sometimes.

534

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
So I guess, looking at it…yes. It is what I hoped it would be. :slight_smile: However, I’m known to have my head in the clouds, so it could all come crashing down. Things do sometimes.
[/quote]

Good luck. Stay hopeful.

535

[quote]nephorm wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
So I guess, looking at it…yes. It is what I hoped it would be. :slight_smile: However, I’m known to have my head in the clouds, so it could all come crashing down. Things do sometimes.
[/quote]

Good luck. Stay hopeful.[/quote]

HA!

536

There is no way that this is how its going to be.

The best he can hope for is being discreet and we wont fool ourselves into thinking that his wife wont secretly be proud that he always comes home to her?

He has looked behing the curtain, there is no turning back.

But, and I am repeating myself, women can deal with cheating, but not with public humiliation.

537

[quote]nephorm wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:
As for the women and matched attractivness.

Sure, that works, for a while.

Since lifetime attractivness is unevenly matched however between men and women those men are perfectly within their rights to trade her in for a younger model if the need arises. And a lot of them will.
[/quote]

People are within their rights to do lots of things, but what is within one’s power and what is good or even within one’s ultimate self interest are different things.

Of course it matters, as we choose, in part, the kind of people we want to be. But competing social models are not Darwinistic, not even for very broad definitions of Darwinism. There is no genetic component. Some subset of social models will fail because those who embrace them will fail to reproduce (such as the Shakers). Darwinism is a very poor model to apply to societies or social conventions.

[quote]
I cannot be a slut.

I am a man.

I could be the male counterpart, the LJBF cuddle bitch.

The beta orbiter.

The man who committs emotionally without getting sex.

And that I am not. [/quote]

Which is a bizarre twisting of definitions. Being a slut is tied to sexual promiscuity, and there’s no rational reason to differentiate between a woman who is promiscuous and a man who is promiscuous given the availability of birth control and equal rights. [/quote]

First, since feminists fail to reproduce, calling it “darwinistic” fist perfecly into your definition.

Second, I did not redefine the term, that was the idea from the beginning.

Women are the gatekeepers of sex, men are the gatekeepers of committment.

If a man bangs a lot of women that is a measure of success, if a woman does it it is a measure of poor impulse control.

You cannot have women like Debra insisting that they have DA POWA and then turn around and claim that it is the same for both sexes.

538

[quote]nephorm wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:
That deserves a reply on its own.

Is it not interesting that men are perfectly willing, be that good or bad, to fight and die for an idea that units them while women, self identified feminists, are not even willing to risk a few stretchmarks by having 2.1 children per woman?
[/quote]

I have no idea what you are talking about, here. Women have children. I know women with careers who have children.

[quote]
Since the whole illusion that they do not need a man highly depends on massive redistribution from men towards women it is true that they do not need a specific man, but they sure as hell need men to keep the system going.

Who are we going to redistribute from if the population shrinks or is replaced by people who think the welfare state is teh greatest thing since sliced bread?

Self correcting abberation…[/quote]

If your point is that having men and women simultaneously pursuing careers instead of a family life, yes, that is a concern. My preferred solution is that increases in productivity should be accompanied by reductions in working hours, rather than clinging to the 40 hour work week as though it were divinely inspired. There are all kinds of programs a government can institute to encourage children in the middle class. But, for the most part, people want children. If it becomes a real problem, it is almost never too late to have a baby boom.[/quote]

Yeah well, just because you see them having children does not mean that they have enough.

You can see it more clearly in Europe where there are two choices.

Either, you accept that the birth rate is far below the level to keep the population level constant or, like Sweden and France, you replace the current population.

Either way, those systems are doomed.

539

[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

This makes me very sad for the sweet young woman and I wonder why the man who professes to love her doesn’t feel the same. Because if he did, there would be no question what to do, and wouldn’t have been that night. That being the case, he should consider his ability to make commitments of this magnitude.

[/quote]

Sadly, the, um, guy does love her. He would never hurt her intentionally.

Orion is correct that guys can cheat just because a girl is hot and there is no emotional betrayal involved. Sad, but that’s how guys are wired.[/quote]

You regret your hypothetical friends nature?

If I may ask, when was the last time you heard a woman apologize for hers?

540

orion, I am going to quote back to you some of the advice you gave me in 2006:

[quote] orion wrote:

All right, finish you education, get a well paid job , meet an attractive, intelligent woman with an insatiable sexual appetite
[…]
Just accept that, and let go of the rock …
[…]
You are going to die, you know that, don?t you?
[/quote]

Let go of the rock, orion.