#1 Seduction Artist in the World 2012 - Arash Dibazar

Off Topic
501

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I was thinking more about alpha and beta and my ex as I got ready for work. I think my ex gives every appearance of being a big, strong silverback. He was very generous with me and has many good qualities, but he was also dour as hell and people generally people report feeling intimidated by him. They’re probably right to, he can be a bully. I think many of the men here would meet him and think alpha, but I know the intensity and bullying were fronts for profound insecurity. His frame, as the PUAs say, was very weak. But judged outwardly he’d be your hero, orion.

There are all sorts of flaws in your take on the world.[/quote]

No, that is a so called “paper alpha”-

Waaaayyy ahead of you.

502

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I was thinking more about alpha and beta and my ex as I got ready for work. I think my ex gives every appearance of being a big, strong silverback. He was very generous with me and has many good qualities, but he was also dour as hell and people generally people report feeling intimidated by him. They’re probably right to, he can be a bully. I think many of the men here would meet him and think alpha, but I know the intensity and bullying were fronts for profound insecurity. His frame, as the PUAs say, was very weak. But judged outwardly he’d be your hero, orion.

There are all sorts of flaws in your take on the world.[/quote]

Also, he basically got you because he pretended to be mean bully alpha, not to you of course, never (well, almosrt never) to you, you are special… and he lost you because he really wasnt what he advertised to be.

I know, it was all so complicated, your fellings and whatnot but this is also textbook.

503

[quote]orion wrote:
No, that is a so called “paper alpha”-
[/quote]

???

504

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:
I’m going to ask the players and the non-players their thoughts on a hypothetical situation.

Let’s say a guy is happily engaged to a smart, very hot, sweet young woman. Wants her to have his babies.

While in another town, say Houston, to see his financial planners and various lawyers for a big financial firm, he goes to dinner at a steak house called the Strip Club (really, a steak house) with the legal team for his company and the financial company (say a financial company is trying to convince said hypothetical guy to buy another company, merge, and go public) at the and there is a nice little hard bodied lawyer-ette who is in her first year at some mega-lawyer law firm. Cheered for a big 12 team when in undergrad. Subtle, but nice, fake tits.

They have an after-dinner drink at the Four Seasons bar and then go upstairs where she proceeds to give him and awesome, balls-draining, blow job, then they hang out a bit and have some seriously hard core sex.

She’s very aware he’s all-but-married, but wants to hook up during an oil-and-gas drunk fest known as NAPE that is next week.

In typical lawyer fashion, she does not text, email, and calls come from her office, and she specifically advised the hypothetical guy to do the same.

Now, how would each of the various camps handle this purely hypothetical situation?[/quote]

This makes me very sad for the sweet young woman and I wonder why the man who professes to love her doesn’t feel the same. Because if he did, there would be no question what to do, and wouldn’t have been that night. That being the case, he should consider his ability to make commitments of this magnitude.

[/quote]

Emily:

I am not going to pick on TTR. Pretty much 99.99% of men, out of town, bit intoxicated, being flattered by the attention of a pretty woman, would fall for this trap. I’ve been close and I avoid situations like this like the plague.

That said, there is nothing to do about the past. The key is to not get put into the trap AGAIN. Thus, he should not go to NAEP or whatever it is.

TTR:

What is interesting to me is it is illegal, or at least unethical, for a lawyer to sleep with a client in most states. I don’t know Texas law on the issue (assuming she is a Texas lawyer, although she traveled to Houston, so I really don’t know), but it’s at least a fireable offense. This might be a useful means of ending the situation abruptly.

+++++++

I am also going to note that you (or rather the “hypotheical guy”) set a perfect PUA trap for her, whether you knew it or not. From the previous threads and pictures, I can attest you’re a good looking, fit, dude. (Not gay, promise.) You are apparently well off, smart, and successful. So you are ahead of the game already.

You have the forced introduciton of a business situation that removes the obstical of the approach.

Taken together, that’s like starting on third base.

On top of that, and most imporant, having been to many an investment banker/lawyer meeting, all this young lady’s bosses were trying to impress you and are impressed by you, or they wouldn’t be courting you. So you had instant “high social value” or whatever the heck the PUA guys call it.

Finally, you were talking business, and she, the low person on the totem pole had little to say. As an attractive and presumably smart girl, she’s probably used to LOTS of attention, and you gave her little or none. So you left her insecure and wanting your attention.

Hence, the result.

++++++++

Finally, I understand you are dating a Jewish girl. Channel the scene from Entourage where Ari’s new partner/old friend from college who did the TV business got caught sleeping with some young agent and his wife of 15 years came in screaming “Who is the bitch that is fucking my husband!?” This is in your future.

505

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:
I’m going to ask the players and the non-players their thoughts on a hypothetical situation.

Let’s say a guy is happily engaged to a smart, very hot, sweet young woman. Wants her to have his babies.

While in another town, say Houston, to see his financial planners and various lawyers for a big financial firm, he goes to dinner at a steak house called the Strip Club (really, a steak house) with the legal team for his company and the financial company (say a financial company is trying to convince said hypothetical guy to buy another company, merge, and go public) at the and there is a nice little hard bodied lawyer-ette who is in her first year at some mega-lawyer law firm. Cheered for a big 12 team when in undergrad. Subtle, but nice, fake tits.

They have an after-dinner drink at the Four Seasons bar and then go upstairs where she proceeds to give him and awesome, balls-draining, blow job, then they hang out a bit and have some seriously hard core sex.

She’s very aware he’s all-but-married, but wants to hook up during an oil-and-gas drunk fest known as NAPE that is next week.

In typical lawyer fashion, she does not text, email, and calls come from her office, and she specifically advised the hypothetical guy to do the same.

Now, how would each of the various camps handle this purely hypothetical situation?[/quote]

This makes me very sad for the sweet young woman and I wonder why the man who professes to love her doesn’t feel the same. Because if he did, there would be no question what to do, and wouldn’t have been that night. That being the case, he should consider his ability to make commitments of this magnitude.

[/quote]

Emily:

I am not going to pick on TTR. Pretty much 99.99% of men, out of town, bit intoxicated, being flattered by the attention of a pretty woman, would fall for this trap. I’ve been close and I avoid situations like this like the plague.

That said, there is nothing to do about the past. The key is to not get put into the trap AGAIN. Thus, he should not go to NAEP or whatever it is.

TTR:

What is interesting to me is it is illegal, or at least unethical, for a lawyer to sleep with a client in most states. I don’t know Texas law on the issue (assuming she is a Texas lawyer, although she traveled to Houston, so I really don’t know), but it’s at least a fireable offense. This might be a useful means of ending the situation abruptly.

+++++++

I am also going to note that you (or rather the “hypotheical guy”) set a perfect PUA trap for her, whether you knew it or not. From the previous threads and pictures, I can attest you’re a good looking, fit, dude. (Not gay, promise.) You are apparently well off, smart, and successful. So you are ahead of the game already.

You have the forced introduciton of a business situation that removes the obstical of the approach.

Taken together, that’s like starting on third base.

On top of that, and most imporant, having been to many an investment banker/lawyer meeting, all this young lady’s bosses were trying to impress you and are impressed by you, or they wouldn’t be courting you. So you had instant “high social value” or whatever the heck the PUA guys call it.

Finally, you were talking business, and she, the low person on the totem pole had little to say. As an attractive and presumably smart girl, she’s probably used to LOTS of attention, and you gave her little or none. So you left her insecure and wanting your attention.

Hence, the result.

++++++++

Finally, I understand you are dating a Jewish girl. Channel the scene from Entourage where Ari’s new partner/old friend from college who did the TV business got caught sleeping with some young agent and his wife of 15 years came in screaming “Who is the bitch that is fucking my husband!?” This is in your future.[/quote]

TX has no formal rule prohibiting sex with clients.

http://texaslawyer.typepad.com/texas_lawyer_blog/2011/02/state-bar-of-texas-members-vote-down-proposed-amendments-to-disciplinary-rules-of-professional-condu.html

Southern Methodist University Dedman School of Law professor Linda Eads, who is a strong proponent of the rule changes, believes the referendumâ??s defeat was the result of bad information that went out to lawyers â??and the truth never caught up with it.â?? She says the result of the referendum is that Texas will be stuck with some inadequate disciplinary rules. â??One is that we donâ??t have a sex-with-clients rule,â?? she says. â??We will be one of the few states that doesn’t prohibit having sex directly with clients.â??

I was a little surprised. I think most states follow the ABA model rule which prohibits sexual relations unless the relationship existed before the attorney-client relationship commenced.

506

thethirdruffian, I’m not entirely certain if you’re seeking a female perspective or not, if the latter, please disregard. Should you choose, please forward this on to your friend.

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:

That said, there is nothing to do about the past. The key is to not get put into the trap AGAIN. Thus, he should not go to NAEP or whatever it is.

[/quote]

This is reason and absolutely avoid the upcoming occasion.

It’s already happened, too late to go back now, but not too late to change what happens in the future. When you’re in a serious relationship, especially marriage, there will always be temptations and things luring you and it’s your responsibility to resist them.

Telling the fiancee to relieve yourself of guilt is a most terrible idea and one that you’d most surely regret forever. She would most likely either cancel the wedding or, at the very least, make sure you never forget it and that would change the entire dynamics of your relationship in a not so favorable way to you. You would go from being her hero to someone that will likely torture and shit-test you for the rest of of eternity. Women can not let things like this go (and why would they?).

Cliff notes:

If the desire is for the relationship to work: Don’t tell her. Don’t ever do it again.

507

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

This makes me very sad for the sweet young woman and I wonder why the man who professes to love her doesn’t feel the same. Because if he did, there would be no question what to do, and wouldn’t have been that night. That being the case, he should consider his ability to make commitments of this magnitude.

[/quote]

Sadly, the, um, guy does love her. He would never hurt her intentionally.

Orion is correct that guys can cheat just because a girl is hot and there is no emotional betrayal involved. Sad, but that’s how guys are wired.

508

[quote]Jackie_Jacked wrote:
thethirdruffian, I’m not entirely certain if you’re seeking a female perspective or not, if the latter, please disregard. Should you choose, please forward this on to your friend.

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:

That said, there is nothing to do about the past. The key is to not get put into the trap AGAIN. Thus, he should not go to NAEP or whatever it is.

[/quote]

This is reason and absolutely avoid the upcoming occasion.

It’s already happened, too late to go back now, but not too late to change what happens in the future. When you’re in a serious relationship, especially marriage, there will always be temptations and things luring you and it’s your responsibility to resist them.

Telling the fiancee to relieve yourself of guilt is a most terrible idea and one that you’d most surely regret forever. She would most likely either cancel the wedding or, at the very least, make sure you never forget it and that would change the entire dynamics of your relationship in a not so favorable way to you. You would go from being her hero to someone that will likely torture and shit-test you for the rest of of eternity. Women can not let things like this go (and why would they?).

Cliff notes:

If the desire is for the relationship to work: Don’t tell her. Don’t ever do it again.[/quote]

Done and done.

509

To look on the bright side at least the friend got rid of the itch before he tied the knot.

510

Similar to what a couple people have already said… I have heard from many folks that you rarely go out with the intention of having an affair or something. Most of the time the person just doesn’t have the willpower or sobriety to stop it. It has little to do with someone being a better person than someone else, because for any guy there is almost certainly SOME situation in which he would fall prey to this.

The key isn’t being strong enough to resist any temptation, it’s being smart enough to never let yourself be put in a situation where you would have to do so. The best thing you can do is be mindful of bad situations and not trust yourself to handle them, but instead avoid them all together.

511

[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

This makes me very sad for the sweet young woman and I wonder why the man who professes to love her doesn’t feel the same. Because if he did, there would be no question what to do, and wouldn’t have been that night. That being the case, he should consider his ability to make commitments of this magnitude.

[/quote]

Sadly, the, um, guy does love her. He would never hurt her intentionally.

Orion is correct that guys can cheat just because a girl is hot and there is no emotional betrayal involved. Sad, but that’s how guys are wired.[/quote]

That is why the Bible says that God is the head of the man and the man is the head of the woman.

Imaginary ( god ) or not, you are wired for a Godly head.

That is the only threesome that belongs in a marriage.

:wink:

512

[quote]csulli wrote:

The key isn’t being strong enough to resist any temptation, it’s being smart enough to never let yourself be put in a situation where you would have to do so. The best thing you can do is be mindful of bad situations and not trust yourself to handle them, but instead avoid them all together.[/quote]

Wise words.

513

[quote]super saiyan wrote:

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:
I’m going to ask the players and the non-players their thoughts on a hypothetical situation.

Let’s say a guy is happily engaged to a smart, very hot, sweet young woman. Wants her to have his babies.

While in another town, say Houston, to see his financial planners and various lawyers for a big financial firm, he goes to dinner at a steak house called the Strip Club (really, a steak house) with the legal team for his company and the financial company (say a financial company is trying to convince said hypothetical guy to buy another company, merge, and go public) at the and there is a nice little hard bodied lawyer-ette who is in her first year at some mega-lawyer law firm. Cheered for a big 12 team when in undergrad. Subtle, but nice, fake tits.

They have an after-dinner drink at the Four Seasons bar and then go upstairs where she proceeds to give him and awesome, balls-draining, blow job, then they hang out a bit and have some seriously hard core sex.

She’s very aware he’s all-but-married, but wants to hook up during an oil-and-gas drunk fest known as NAPE that is next week.

In typical lawyer fashion, she does not text, email, and calls come from her office, and she specifically advised the hypothetical guy to do the same.

Now, how would each of the various camps handle this purely hypothetical situation?[/quote]

This makes me very sad for the sweet young woman and I wonder why the man who professes to love her doesn’t feel the same. Because if he did, there would be no question what to do, and wouldn’t have been that night. That being the case, he should consider his ability to make commitments of this magnitude.

[/quote]

Emily:

I am not going to pick on TTR. Pretty much 99.99% of men, out of town, bit intoxicated, being flattered by the attention of a pretty woman, would fall for this trap. I’ve been close and I avoid situations like this like the plague.

That said, there is nothing to do about the past. The key is to not get put into the trap AGAIN. Thus, he should not go to NAEP or whatever it is.

TTR:

What is interesting to me is it is illegal, or at least unethical, for a lawyer to sleep with a client in most states. I don’t know Texas law on the issue (assuming she is a Texas lawyer, although she traveled to Houston, so I really don’t know), but it’s at least a fireable offense. This might be a useful means of ending the situation abruptly.

+++++++

I am also going to note that you (or rather the “hypotheical guy”) set a perfect PUA trap for her, whether you knew it or not. From the previous threads and pictures, I can attest you’re a good looking, fit, dude. (Not gay, promise.) You are apparently well off, smart, and successful. So you are ahead of the game already.

You have the forced introduciton of a business situation that removes the obstical of the approach.

Taken together, that’s like starting on third base.

On top of that, and most imporant, having been to many an investment banker/lawyer meeting, all this young lady’s bosses were trying to impress you and are impressed by you, or they wouldn’t be courting you. So you had instant “high social value” or whatever the heck the PUA guys call it.

Finally, you were talking business, and she, the low person on the totem pole had little to say. As an attractive and presumably smart girl, she’s probably used to LOTS of attention, and you gave her little or none. So you left her insecure and wanting your attention.

Hence, the result.

++++++++

Finally, I understand you are dating a Jewish girl. Channel the scene from Entourage where Ari’s new partner/old friend from college who did the TV business got caught sleeping with some young agent and his wife of 15 years came in screaming “Who is the bitch that is fucking my husband!?” This is in your future.[/quote]

TX has no formal rule prohibiting sex with clients.

http://texaslawyer.typepad.com/texas_lawyer_blog/2011/02/state-bar-of-texas-members-vote-down-proposed-amendments-to-disciplinary-rules-of-professional-condu.html

Southern Methodist University Dedman School of Law professor Linda Eads, who is a strong proponent of the rule changes, believes the referendumÃ?¢??s defeat was the result of bad information that went out to lawyers Ã?¢??and the truth never caught up with it.Ã?¢?? She says the result of the referendum is that Texas will be stuck with some inadequate disciplinary rules. Ã?¢??One is that we donÃ?¢??t have a sex-with-clients rule,Ã?¢?? she says. Ã?¢??We will be one of the few states that doesn’t prohibit having sex directly with clients.Ã?¢??

I was a little surprised. I think most states follow the ABA model rule which prohibits sexual relations unless the relationship existed before the attorney-client relationship commenced.[/quote]

I’m surprised, too. If it was my firm, I’d still fire her.

514

[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

This makes me very sad for the sweet young woman and I wonder why the man who professes to love her doesn’t feel the same. Because if he did, there would be no question what to do, and wouldn’t have been that night. That being the case, he should consider his ability to make commitments of this magnitude.

[/quote]

Sadly, the, um, guy does love her. He would never hurt her intentionally.

Orion is correct that guys can cheat just because a girl is hot and there is no emotional betrayal involved. Sad, but that’s how guys are wired.[/quote]

What you say is true, but it doesn’t make it right.

Again, the key is to avoid these situations, which, if I recall correctly, are pretty much your life. Perhaps re-consider your life.

515

[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

This makes me very sad for the sweet young woman and I wonder why the man who professes to love her doesn’t feel the same. Because if he did, there would be no question what to do, and wouldn’t have been that night. That being the case, he should consider his ability to make commitments of this magnitude.

[/quote]

Sadly, the, um, guy does love her. He would never hurt her intentionally.

Orion is correct that guys can cheat just because a girl is hot and there is no emotional betrayal involved. Sad, but that’s how guys are wired.[/quote]

If you felt guilty, then you felt emotional betrayal.

516

[quote]csulli wrote:
Similar to what a couple people have already said… I have heard from many folks that you rarely go out with the intention of having an affair or something. Most of the time the person just doesn’t have the willpower or sobriety to stop it. It has little to do with someone being a better person than someone else, because for any guy there is almost certainly SOME situation in which he would fall prey to this.

The key isn’t being strong enough to resist any temptation, it’s being smart enough to never let yourself be put in a situation where you would have to do so. The best thing you can do is be mindful of bad situations and not trust yourself to handle them, but instead avoid them all together.[/quote]

If you’re in a happy and healthy marriage, then you should be able to be anywhere, with anyone, and not be THAT tempted to where you can’t trust yourself to be in a “vulnerable” situation.

If you cannot, then there is a problem somewhere.

517

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:
Similar to what a couple people have already said… I have heard from many folks that you rarely go out with the intention of having an affair or something. Most of the time the person just doesn’t have the willpower or sobriety to stop it. It has little to do with someone being a better person than someone else, because for any guy there is almost certainly SOME situation in which he would fall prey to this.

The key isn’t being strong enough to resist any temptation, it’s being smart enough to never let yourself be put in a situation where you would have to do so. The best thing you can do is be mindful of bad situations and not trust yourself to handle them, but instead avoid them all together.[/quote]

If you’re in a happy and healthy marriage, then you should be able to be anywhere, with anyone, and not be THAT tempted to where you can’t trust yourself to be in a “vulnerable” situation.

If you cannot, then there is a problem somewhere.[/quote]

Ok, tell us when you are out of town and had a few cocktails.

We’ll pay a young stripper to throw herself at you and see how you do.

Also, you guys can do this to me.

ahhhh. … being beaten by Mrs. Jewbacca . . . . bleeding. . . .

518

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:
Similar to what a couple people have already said… I have heard from many folks that you rarely go out with the intention of having an affair or something. Most of the time the person just doesn’t have the willpower or sobriety to stop it. It has little to do with someone being a better person than someone else, because for any guy there is almost certainly SOME situation in which he would fall prey to this.

The key isn’t being strong enough to resist any temptation, it’s being smart enough to never let yourself be put in a situation where you would have to do so. The best thing you can do is be mindful of bad situations and not trust yourself to handle them, but instead avoid them all together.[/quote]

If you’re in a happy and healthy marriage, then you should be able to be anywhere, with anyone, and not be THAT tempted to where you can’t trust yourself to be in a “vulnerable” situation.

If you cannot, then there is a problem somewhere.[/quote]

Ok, tell us when you are out of town and had a few cocktails.

We’ll pay a young stripper to throw herself at you and see how you do.

Also, you guys can do this to me.

ahhhh. … being beaten by Mrs. Jewbacca . . . . bleeding. . . . [/quote]

Hell, i’ve been in those situations MANY times when I was younger and in LTR’s. It wasn’t THAT hard, JB.

519

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:
Similar to what a couple people have already said… I have heard from many folks that you rarely go out with the intention of having an affair or something. Most of the time the person just doesn’t have the willpower or sobriety to stop it. It has little to do with someone being a better person than someone else, because for any guy there is almost certainly SOME situation in which he would fall prey to this.

The key isn’t being strong enough to resist any temptation, it’s being smart enough to never let yourself be put in a situation where you would have to do so. The best thing you can do is be mindful of bad situations and not trust yourself to handle them, but instead avoid them all together.[/quote]

If you’re in a happy and healthy marriage, then you should be able to be anywhere, with anyone, and not be THAT tempted to where you can’t trust yourself to be in a “vulnerable” situation.

If you cannot, then there is a problem somewhere.[/quote]

Ok, tell us when you are out of town and had a few cocktails.

We’ll pay a young stripper to throw herself at you and see how you do.

Also, you guys can do this to me.

ahhhh. … being beaten by Mrs. Jewbacca . . . . bleeding. . . . [/quote]

Hell, i’ve been in those situations MANY times when I was younger and in LTR’s. It wasn’t THAT hard, JB.
[/quote]

I dunno man. If I were really drunk and I was in a hotel room with Halle Berry and Jessica Biel making out naked on the bed I would be in bad shape.

520

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I was thinking more about alpha and beta and my ex as I got ready for work. I think my ex gives every appearance of being a big, strong silverback. He was very generous with me and has many good qualities, but he was also dour as hell and people generally people report feeling intimidated by him. They’re probably right to, he can be a bully. I think many of the men here would meet him and think alpha, but I know the intensity and bullying were fronts for profound insecurity. His frame, as the PUAs say, was very weak. But judged outwardly he’d be your hero, orion.

There are all sorts of flaws in your take on the world.[/quote]

Also, he basically got you because he pretended to be mean bully alpha, not to you of course, never (well, almosrt never) to you, you are special… and he lost you because he really wasnt what he advertised to be.

I know, it was all so complicated, your fellings and whatnot but this is also textbook.

[/quote]

Textbook WHAT? No, what it represents is that most people are more complex than you are able or willing to realize, and that your categories are silly and immature. He “got me” because he was accomplished and was enjoyable to spend time with. He didn’t become really aggressive until he achieved a measure of success, while at the same time failing to achieve inner peace. He also got me because I’m like a moth to flame when it comes to depressed people, which he was and is, and at that time had not yet learned to control my codependent behavior. Lastly, he got me because he is willing to say things that aren’t necessarily true, so yes, false advertising. But, there are things about my ex-husband that are true and good. I trust him absolutely when it comes to fair treatment (say splitting assets). I trust him with small children and animals. On balance, I would say that he’s a good person, kind to my difficult grandmother and strong as an ox. But also profoundly insecure and competitive to the point of neurosis. One person could call him an asshole and another call him a great guy and neither would be wrong.

I suppose the same could be said of my current guy. He was called an arrogant prick at a meeting not long ago, but I suspect you would view him as a beta for any number of reasons. However, I suppose I see him as alpha because when he says “come here,” I do. He has integrity and if his frame can be shaken I’ve yet to see it happen.

As for my marriage ending, he lost me for reasons that are far more complicated than I have time or energy to go into. Misrepresented himself was a piece, cheated was a piece, spending too much money was a piece, sexual issues played a part…and then there was a family crisis that ultimately blew the whole thing up. Life isn’t simple, though you want it to be, with easily identifiable good guys and bad guys.

Your entire guiding philosophy is bullshit, orion. People have a drive to reproduce, but the manner of that happening is as varied as people themselves and dependent on a whole slew of factors.