We’ve all been asked for fitness, lifting, or diet advice. What are some signs that the person asking is never going to take your advice or make it a lifestyle?
We’re happy to help, but sometimes you just know it’s a wasted conversation. What are their tells?
Here’s one I’ve noticed: They ask for nutrition advice and you give them a swap idea. They immediately, without hesitation, say that if the healthier option doesn’t taste exactly like the crappy food making them fat, they’re not going to eat it.
That’s hard to deal with, probably because most us would eat gerbil eyeballs if we thought they’d make us look or perform better. But these folks can’t switch to diet soda? Arg!
As soon as I hear that they have “no time”, I know that there’s no chance.
We all have the same 24 hours in a day. NONE of us have time. Some of us choose to re-prioritize things to make time.
I DID always love this article for that reason though.
I’d ask people who have “no time” if they have 4 minutes a day they can spare. I even would go so far as to ask if they could wake up 2 minutes earlier and go to bed 2 minutes later to make up those 4 minutes.
Some people got shamed into doing the workout. Others told me they don’t have 4 minutes…
That’s a good one. I like to casually ask, “Hey, any good Netflix shows worth bingeing?” If they have suggestions, I remind them that they do have time to fit in a workout or some meal prep, especially if they’re re-watching something.
I usually try avoiding those seeking advice unless they are a bit persistent. If they are not willing to show “obvious” interest, I won’t designate any time to talk into one ear as I watch it exit the other ear.
I get it. I used to write people full workouts and diet plans, but that was always a waste of time. These days, I provide one simple guideline and tell them to do that consistently and get back to me when it’s a habit. Usually it’s, “Eat about a gram of protein per pound” or whatever fits their needs.
“Oh, I can’t work out because of [insert old injury, trick knee, irritated elbow, sore pinky finger], etc.”
You can, of course, work around just about anything. I’ve trained on crutches, in an arm sling, with two torn biceps, ripped-up shoulders, you name it. Most of us have. Where there’s a will…
Dan John has some great ones here. Heck, his big one is “drink 2 glasses of water a day”. He gives this to his fat loss clients for the first week, and then does a check in on them after week 1. He says that, when he calls for that check in, the phone tends to ring a long time, as he imagines the person on the other end is slamming that second glass of water before they pick up.
These simple “barriers to entry” are honestly a decent litmus test to see if someone is willing to comply with ANYTHING before you really nug in.
I also feel like it’s worth having a few “drive by” answers in that regard. “Eat only single ingredient foods and drink only water”. Do that and you’ll most likely fix whatever your issues are.
I just tell people “if its healthy - eat as much of it as you want. If it isn’t, just don’t eat it”.
I’ve had friends / colleagues come back months later telling me they lost 30+lbs following just that advice. Sometimes, drive by responses are the best medicine.
I have noticed this as well over the years. People will ask me what I do, how I stay in the shape. I now just cut straight to the meat and say “Either you want it or you don’t” or my new favorite “easy choices hard life, hard choices easy life”. I think I picked that one up here.
Most of the time people just want to talk about it looking for a short cut. There are none. And as most of you probably know, who wants one. I love all the hard work even when I hate doing it.
My GF is trying to get back into shape right now after being on the sidelines for the better part of year due to a leg injury. She comes home the other day and tells me “I got a workout tonight with my trainer and I really do not want to go”. I tell her that is the best time to go, when you absolutely do not want to. Hard choices…
This is how I can tell. Someone will ask for workout advice, and then push back on what they’re told. I’m not one to go around throwing advice to those that haven’t asked me, but if they do and then they say “Well, that doesn’t matter. I’ll keep doing it my way”. It’s fine, they can do what they want, but if they are fat and weak and ask advice, then argue against it, they’re going to stay fat and weak.
Exactly! Or “I can’t do that because…” or “I saw a video that doesn’t work” or whatever.
Another clue is when they present a constraint that isn’t really a constraint. Like “I can only work out with dumbbells and bands 30 minutes 3x a week,” which can be fine and we could give advice, but then when you ask for context it’s something like “I just don’t want to do more.” It kind of goes back to the legal principle of “falsus in uni, falsus in omnibus” - you’re already decided you aren’t going to do anything.
If rember correctly, @Chris_Shugart wrote an article about pushing back on advice from someone (I want to say it was Berardi) and they just responded “How’s that working for you?”
One of my friends who’s asked for advice over the years will always say “Well, basically it’s the same thing”. For example, Farmer’s carries vs the elliptical are “basically the same thing” or barbell squats and jogging are “basically the same thing”.
Yep. He nailed me with that one and I took it to heart. As I recall, I was talking about eating anything I want (heavy cheating) all weekend long while eating healthy on weekdays. Yeah, don’t do that if you put on fat easily.
I like that. My thing, and I believe it, is just don’t do it if you don’t want to. Like I have friends that will say “I really know I should lift, but I just prefer running.” You’re already ahead of 90% of the western population, man; I wouldn’t be so hard on yourself you ruin all the good habits you already have. In those cases, maybe we legitimately add one set of pull-ups or pushups to end of one of your run days kinda thing.
Then, on the flip side, if you want to do this, we shouldn’t be talking about why you can’t.
For some reason, this thread reminded me of this (previously posted on Tnation)!
I often notice people unwilling to make a change, have a hard time understanding you need to do things differently - For a different outcome. This failure to understand is a telltale sign to me.
