Well we have had 2 full ICSI, I’ve had 2 surgical sperm retrievals, plenty of complications along the way including finding my wife had a pituitary tumour. So I’ve done plenty of research! Hope you get what you want out the process buddy.
1 Like
Yeah. The numbers are the numbers but there is more to life that just digits.
I’d never advise anybody on line or in person on how to go about these types of life decisions, but in the same shoes, I’d go for it. When something reaches the level of deep desire or lifes dream for me I have to. I can live with failure, but I can’t live with the regret of having not tried.
Best of luck.
1 Like
@carbiduis currently enough for a full 3 attempts
I’d suggest not trying to think about this strictly logically and think about it equally emotionally. If having children is a significant value then pursue it with everything you can. I would pursue option 2. It’s difficult to take the ‘Econ’ or statistical approach when you can’t quantify the value of the outcome. Option 2 reduces to the financial risk and provides the highest chance of success.
Disclaimer for my POV: I’ve come to the conclusion I may not be a dad and I’m fine with that. If it happens, I’d be happy and financially able to support my child. However, I don’t - currently - have a desire to medically make it significantly more likely to happen.
1 Like
Sometimes you just have to trust the universe/ God whatever you want to call it.
I have 13 year old proof that nothing is impossible. The guy I was dating assured me he couldn’t have kids and I was on birth control. Yet here I am with a 13 year old son, who gives new meaning to the word awesome! Nothing is impossible!
1 Like
Haven’t read all the other replies, but that’s exactly what I thought.
Also, if the prize is priceless and by definition is more desirable than any amount of money (or, like you said, anything else, assuming literally your words), what’s even the point? Of course you’ll be paying the higher amount if that guarantees you better chances of winning.
EDIT: ah i skimmed through the posts, so we’re talking about artifical insemination, right?
As it’s probably been made pretty obvious at this point this decision is about an opportunity to be part of a shared risk situation regarding fertility treatment. Last time we went through ivf this option was not available. Had a consultation the other day and was made aware we qualify for this scheme.
So the short version of the story…
I had a hernia as a child, the surgeon accidentally severed my vas and damaged to blood supply to one of my nads. I was unaware of this fact until we tried for a baby, I was told I will probably never have a biological child. The only option was to be put to sleep and have sperm, if they could find any taken directly from my testicle and used in an Icsi ivf cycle. They found some.
So far we have had £20000 worth of treatment, the figures what I put up where what is covered in the shared risk deal, we would have to pay another £3500 per try on top of the £5000. first cycle we unfortunately had a miscarriage. This was very hard to get over, then we discovered my wife tumour. We was given the all clear to try again, so we gave it one last shot with my sperm. So we tried again.
I now have the most perfect son!
The time has come to try for a brother or sister for him, we want as big a family as we can have.
It’s good to hear other perspectives because no one knows about this in my real life, I have no one other then my wife to discuss the decisions with or vent too.
A few points that have been brought up have really made me think and my mind is changing about what approach we try.
3 Likes
what are you leaning towards?
Initially it was doing it £5000 a time, because it gives us more control over how many times we try and you never know we could get lucky and hit the jackpot first time and have more money to try for baby number 3.
But if you said to me tomorrow, pay £13000 and you will be a dad again for the second time I would bite there hand off. So if it happens first time and we pay over the odds am I really going to care? Plus that over the odds money we paid goes to other couples to help them financially. And if worse case it doesn’t work getting £13000 back to use to move house would possibly help us get over the disappointment.
2 Likes
Good luck with it, brother. If I believed in prayer I’d pray for you, but instead I’ll just try and send good vibes in your direction.
Thank you very much, appreciate it buddy.
1 Like
Adoption?
Makes sense to me. The money is really a non-issue if you want it that much, plus it costs hundreds of thousands to raise a child in the long-term anyway so the extra £13K is pretty negligible as an added cost.
2 Likes
@kd13 I would say go for at least 1 shot!
I’d probably take those 3 shots offer.
If money isn’t an issue, you got nothing to lose.
1 Like
Go for the three shots. If this were any other situation, depending on the prize, that might be a bad idea, but if you have the 13K, just do it. I totally understand if people want to just have one kid. I do, on the other hand, think that if the parents are capable and willing to raise another child, they should do it, because everyone deserves a sibling. I wish you the best of luck, and coming from the father of a 3 year old and his 1.5 year old brother, it’s worth it.
2 Likes
Just a little update on this.
I would like to thank everyone for there opinions, they really helped me and my wife think from a different perspective.
When we looked further into the funding scheme it turns out that if for whatever reason you decide to quit you get a refund minus the treatment you have already received, That put the last concern we had to bed.
We applied and was told that our case and medical records need to be assessed and that will probably take 2 weeks. We heard back 20 minutes after they received our medical records, turns out that they must like the chances of them getting a good deal. All excepted and paid for.
The games begin…
I may be off the hook in the first cycle as I have frozen sperm, but I have to be on stand by for if they don’t survive the thaw. As much as I don’t won’t another hole in the bollock, it’s nothing to what my wife has to go through.
Thanks again all.
4 Likes
Good luck! Will be sending happy thoughts your way for every thing to go well.
1 Like
Best of luck with it, brother. I hope it all works out for you guys.
@ChickenLittle @Yogi1 thank you both. It’s pretty good to talk about this kind of stuff, nobody knows we are doing ivf so it’s pretty tough having no one to bounce ideas off or vent too, hence why I used you guys to talk things through with.
2 Likes
Unless you’re rich, fuck no.