She’s the Man…undoubtedly the worst movie I have ever seen. My little sister and my GF watched it and it was fucking torture.
[quote]colonelquack wrote:
CC wrote:
We got motherfuckin’ snakes.
Motherfucka’.
The point of Snakes on a Plane is that it’ll be one of the best bad movies ever.
[/quote]
Exactly. I’m waiting to see if it takes my favorite bad movie “Army of Darkness” down from the throne. I’m stoked! I mean, Samuel L. Jackson. Come on.
[quote]boonville410 wrote:
If I were locked in a room and “The Labrynth” was put on a loop I would find some way to end my life.
Worst Movie Ever![/quote]
Hahaha. David Bowie’s codpiece was scary, wasn’t it? It’s going to scar me for a very long time. And the midget? WTF?
[quote]PGA200X wrote:
Crossroads
Ralph Macchio’s versions
[/quote]
Bite me. Macchio’s version rocked. It was a retelling of the Devil and Daniel Webster. Or Faust if you prefer.
“Vacas”. Hands Down. It was a foreign flick that even the international students who rented it couldn’t figure out what it was about. If you want to live through a Salvador Dali-esque LSD induced nightmare, rent it. And then come back here and tell me that there is any movie worse than that.
[quote]UtahLama wrote:
bumpy wrote:
The worst movie of the past,present & future would have to be “Pootie Tang” with Chris Rock & Wanda Sykes!! It was pure SHIT
In the first 5 min, I have not laughed so hard in my life.
The next hour sucked ass.[/quote]
Well, you gotta take the bad with the good…But see, that’s the way I felt about Supertroopers. The first few minutes of the movie up through the syrup chugging battle and the fight in the diner what me crying from laughter. And then I wanted to gouge my eyes out until I got up and left. But it’s still not the WORST in history. Piece of crap though.
“labrynth”, is that the name of that film, i saw it as a wee boy, with david freekin bowie… that haunted my dreams.shit.
worst movie ever, thats tough.so many dung movies.
off the top of my head, “Lake Placid” the shitness of that film cant really be put into words.
I’m going to have to go with Signs because it blew on so many levels. First off, I hate plot holes, and this thing is Swiss-fucking cheese.
Where do I begin? Oh yeah,
- “The aliens won’t use their technology because we’d retaliate with nuclear weapons”. Umm, their space ships were parked right next to population centers. Why would we nuke ourselves, killing millions (and poisoning the land for hundreds of years) instead of the few thousand that would die by conventional combat?
which leads to,
-
Instead of wearing some kind of environmental suit to protect them from any possible biohazzards our planet could present them, (like, I dunno, something they were obviously aware of and avoided, like water?) they attack us in the nude, using only their bodily excretions to subdue us, not any kind of highly advanced conventional weaponry against which we would likely have no defense. What the fuck kind of threat to Earth are aliens that can be beaten back with Louisville sluggers?
-
Let me get this straight; a farmhouse with no shotgun or firearm of any kind on the premisis? Yeah, Hollywood, way to be in touch with rural America.
[quote]Lackzoom wrote:
The movie wasn’t meant to be about aliens, it’s about a man who gets his faith back. [/quote]
Another point which made me want to puke. I’m so sick of Hollywood films always portraying the notion that faith, especially religious faith, is a good thing that, well, see my first sentence in this paragraph.
A synopsis of Mel Gibson’s character’s thought process throughout the movie:
[i]Damn, all my years of bible thumping and service to God, and my wife gets killed in a random, pointless accident. Man, I’m done preaching this bullshit! God either doesn’t exist or he sucks!
Naked aliens and shit are attacking my family! God really sucks!
Wow! My brother-in-law saved my son by beating a nude alien to death with his baseball bat! God is awesome! I’m going to go preach bullshit again![/i]
Mel Gibson at the helm of this Turdtanic exponentially increases its up-its-own-assedness by a factor of 100.
I believe I’ve made my case. DC out.
[quote]pegasus3 wrote:
off the top of my head, “Lake Placid” the shitness of that film cant really be put into words.[/quote]
Well, I’ll try:
Ouch! You said it! A fifty-foot alligator (cough, cough, <BULLSHIT!> cough!) in… Maine? No explanation as to how he survived other than, “if his nostrils didn’t freeze, he could survive”. First of all, no he couldn’t. Secondly, how the hell would his nostrils, or any other part of his body keep from freezing while being exposed during a winter in Maine? Third, who thought this was an even passable movie idea?
The Village is quite possibly the worst movie Ive seen. I payed $3 for it and I went to get my money back.
[quote]Boyder326 wrote:
The Village is quite possibly the worst movie Ive seen. I payed $3 for it and I went to get my money back.[/quote]
The Village would have made a great Twilight Zone episode. I think people are too quick to jump on the hate bandwagon. It wasn’t that damn bad. Maybe we just expect so much from a movie these days that unless it is filled with CGI and mega-explosions, we just don’t get it anymore.
The story honestly wasn’t that fucked at all. A group of people, fed up with the world around them, set up their own community in the woods somewhere using their knowledge of history to turn back the clock before the technology they believe lead to the problems they saw in society existed. One of them owns the land and manages to get a no fly order so no planes ever fly overhead. They keep the people tamed by instilling fear that “monsters” roam the borders. How does that really “suck”? The lead character, “the blind girl”, wasn’t exactly a pussy. It just wasn’t an action movie. They need to stop marketing his movies as “horror movies” because they aren’t.
[quote]Professor X wrote:
Boyder326 wrote:
The Village is quite possibly the worst movie Ive seen. I payed $3 for it and I went to get my money back.
The Village would have made a great Twilight Zone episode. I think people are too quick to jump on the hate bandwagon. It wasn’t that damn bad. Maybe we just expect so much from a movie these days that unless it is filled with CGI and mega-explosions, we just don’t get it anymore.
The story honestly wasn’t that fucked at all. A group of people, fed up with the world around them, set up their own community in the woods somewhere using their knowledge of history to turn back the clock before the technology they believe lead to the problems they saw in society existed. One of them owns the land and manages to get a no fly order so no planes ever fly overhead. They keep the people tamed by instilling fear that “monsters” roam the borders. How does that really “suck”? The lead character, “the blind girl”, wasn’t exactly a pussy. It just wasn’t an action movie. They need to stop marketing his movies as “horror movies” because they aren’t.[/quote]
I think it was more disappointment on my part. It was portrayed in previews as I like to call a “psychological thriller”. I was loving it up until they show Adrian Brody as the monster and they show the road. Usually he has a pretty good ending to his movies, but this one just ruined it for me. You’re right Prof X, marketed differently and maybe played down a little bit more to not come off as some real thriller, it may be an actually decent movie.
I just got back from an advance preview of Pulse. What an absolutly horrible movie. It starts off like it might not be bad, but the plot and acting get worse by the minute.
I’m glad I didn’t have to pay.
[quote]Professor X wrote:
Bauer97 wrote:
john clark wrote:
I would now like to nominate “Lady In The Water” for this dubious honor. M.Night Shaymalan really needs to stop making movies. I can’t believe I let my friend rope me into seeing this.
Really? I know the critics seemed to hate it, but I’ve talked to several ‘real’ people who saw it and said it was great.
I’m still trying to decide if I’m going to go see it or not…
I was just waiting for someone to say what you just did. I’ll go see it now that I know it may not be a complete waste of time. The more I think about it, the more I hate Superman Returns and wish I hadn’t seen it.[/quote]
I loved Lady in the Water
Here’s one more to add to the list:
Probably the worst one I’ve ever seen…watch it and die
I’d have to agree that “Signs” is one of the worst movies ever made. Not only because of the asinine plot holes (yeah, aliens that can navigate interstellar space need fucking CROP CIRCLES to tell them how to find the big, glowing cities!) but because of a blatant bait-and-switch.
I make it a point to avoid reading reviews and plot summaries for movies I’m seeing in the theatres, so all I had to go on was the previews with crop circles and shadowy alien presence. I get fifteen minutes into it before I realize I’d been had. Shymalan’s “twists” are universally predictable if you’ve got two neurons to rub together, except this one.
[quote]Crispyknight wrote:
I’d have to agree that “Signs” is one of the worst movies ever made. Not only because of the asinine plot holes (yeah, aliens that can navigate interstellar space need fucking CROP CIRCLES to tell them how to find the big, glowing cities!) but because of a blatant bait-and-switch.
I make it a point to avoid reading reviews and plot summaries for movies I’m seeing in the theatres, so all I had to go on was the previews with crop circles and shadowy alien presence. I get fifteen minutes into it before I realize I’d been had. Shymalan’s “twists” are universally predictable if you’ve got two neurons to rub together, except this one. [/quote]
They probably still use sundials to tell the time. Its like the aliens were equivalent to iceage man and accidentally stumbled on some new tech.
[quote]1-packlondoner wrote:
My worst films in no particular oder
Equilibrium
Matrix 2
Aeon Flux
The Da Vinci Code
John Carpenter’s Body Bags (held the no1 spot for ages)
Broken Arrow
Obsure one this but Diary of a Country Priest (ponderous french new wave movie)
Any film with a guy playing a cop or ex-cop with a dog for a partner
There’s many more but I already want to smash the keyboard at the thought of Matrix 2!
[/quote]
You’re nuts. Equilibrium was a great film (excepting the face-slicing in the last sword duel.) Truly excellent re-interpretation and combination of 1984 and Farenheit 451.
Out of curiousity, why did you dislike Reloaded more than Revolutions? I found Revolutions to be by far more pointless, painful, and preachy than Reloaded.
Broken Arrow was bad, I’ll give you, but Travolta is such an excellent bad guy that it shouldn’t be labeled as one of the worst. Religious nuttery aside, he was the only thing that made Face/Off watchable.
Zelig. Granted, if I saw it now it probably wouldn’t seem so bad but I saw it when I was 8. My dad’s friend was (in retrospect) a complete pseudo-intellectual who took his kids–and their friends–to Woody Allen movies. Not recommended.
When an 8 year-old sees Woody Allen take the form of former President Humphrey and notices that the entire theatre full of wire-rimmed glasses wearing adults is laughing at this it is rather confusing. Of course if the 2 Hubert Humphreys starting fighting each other like good vs. evil twins it may have been cool to my younger self…but I digress.
Also, late one night on Showtime I saw the end of some crazy black and white movie with Hervie Velachez or whatever the hell his name is (the ‘Hey Boss! Da Plane! Da Plane!’ midget from Fantasy Island) There were aliens and people chained up and sodomy and (apparently) a director without a script but with an ample supply of acid.
[quote]Aragorn wrote:
UtahLama wrote:
bumpy wrote:
The worst movie of the past,present & future would have to be “Pootie Tang” with Chris Rock & Wanda Sykes!! It was pure SHIT
In the first 5 min, I have not laughed so hard in my life.
The next hour sucked ass.
Well, you gotta take the bad with the good…But see, that’s the way I felt about Supertroopers. The first few minutes of the movie up through the syrup chugging battle and the fight in the diner what me crying from laughter. And then I wanted to gouge my eyes out until I got up and left. But it’s still not the WORST in history. Piece of crap though.[/quote]
Come on now…Supertroopers is a all time 2am movie. If it’s on at 2am you are eating your post-bar tacos and watching it till you pass out.
[quote]lesotho72 wrote:
Also, late one night on Showtime I saw the end of some crazy black and white movie with Hervie Velachez or whatever the hell his name is (the ‘Hey Boss! Da Plane! Da Plane!’ midget from Fantasy Island) There were aliens and people chained up and sodomy and (apparently) a director without a script but with an ample supply of acid. [/quote]
Dude! I saw that on cable like 20 years ago! WTF was the deal with that? I only saw a small 20 minute segment, but it had some Buddy Holly looking guy getting his resolve up to go into what looks like hell and help someone. Before he goes, a talking chicken tells him that “the chickens” will always be willing to help out. He flies into hell and gets captured by some guy in a cheesy-looking satan costume. I’d love to see that from begining to end drunk.