[quote]Bauber wrote:
I was 19 at the time and my mom got a new trainer at my current gym at the time. I was back home for the summer from college. Her trainer was a 29 year old fitness competitor with a banging body. Decent face, but her ass and legs were to die for. Anyways I saw her in there and being young and dumb never picked up on the overt flirting she was doing with me. Literally standing 3 feet away with her ass facing me as I was sitting on the benchpress bench doing straight legged deads when the gym was empty. I worked out just after lunch crowd left usually.
My mom would routinely come in for her training sessions and her trainer saw us talking while my mom was waiting for her to finish up with another client. She goes on about me and asks who I am when they start training, which of course my mom replies, “That is my son…” Lol.
Anyways we end up going out a few times nothing crazy dinner, gun range, normal stuff. Then on our third date we go out to early dinner, catch a movie and wind back at her place. She goes into her bedroom and comes back out in straight up see through lingerie. Now mind you I was a late bloomer when it came to sex mainly due to my parents scaring the shit out of me about how much a child would ruin my life at a young age. (Thank god for them). So she straight up straddles me and then gets up and does the sexiest strip tease I have ever seen. At this point I am just in awe and kind of in shock. She then gets on her knees and starts blowing me and goes in to ride me. I stop her and mention protection.
This is when the night goes terribly bad. She FLIPS HER FUCKING shit. Starts screaming at me asking if shes not beautiful enough to have a kid with. Ragingly asking me questions like, AM I TOO FAT? Am I not good enough for you?!! At this point I am keeping both eyes on her struggling to get my pants on without getting shot or bludgeoned with a blunt object and trying to get the fuck out of dodge.
In my haste I trip going around the couch and falling I grab on to this large cylinder glass display with a bunch of breakables in it. My grab tosses this fucking thing into the ground with extreme prejudice causing EVERYTHING to shatter in it showering me in debris of glass and porcelain. I get up small cuts all over me bleeding run to the front door and the mother fucker is locked. It is one of those doors you need a key inside to open as well. And this bitch is still going psycho on me and by this time is throwing stuff at me. I dash through the house looking for another door and come to a side door. I don’t even bother trying to open it. I pick up ramming speed and put my shoulder into the door knocking it completely off the frame and I was gone baby gone.
The very next day she surprises me at the gym and apologizes profusely and asks me to giver her another chance. [/quote]
Should have given her another chance. It was probably just hormones. Or she was asking for another chance so that she could kill you.
This movie came to mind after reading this.[/quote]
I spent the entire length of that post mainly trying to picture her ass.
[quote]Bauber wrote:
I was 19 at the time and my mom got a new trainer at my current gym at the time. I was back home for the summer from college. Her trainer was a 29 year old fitness competitor with a banging body. Decent face, but her ass and legs were to die for. Anyways I saw her in there and being young and dumb never picked up on the overt flirting she was doing with me. Literally standing 3 feet away with her ass facing me as I was sitting on the benchpress bench doing straight legged deads when the gym was empty. I worked out just after lunch crowd left usually.
My mom would routinely come in for her training sessions and her trainer saw us talking while my mom was waiting for her to finish up with another client. She goes on about me and asks who I am when they start training, which of course my mom replies, “That is my son…” Lol.
Anyways we end up going out a few times nothing crazy dinner, gun range, normal stuff. Then on our third date we go out to early dinner, catch a movie and wind back at her place. She goes into her bedroom and comes back out in straight up see through lingerie. Now mind you I was a late bloomer when it came to sex mainly due to my parents scaring the shit out of me about how much a child would ruin my life at a young age. (Thank god for them). So she straight up straddles me and then gets up and does the sexiest strip tease I have ever seen. At this point I am just in awe and kind of in shock. She then gets on her knees and starts blowing me and goes in to ride me. I stop her and mention protection.
This is when the night goes terribly bad. She FLIPS HER FUCKING shit. Starts screaming at me asking if shes not beautiful enough to have a kid with. Ragingly asking me questions like, AM I TOO FAT? Am I not good enough for you?!! At this point I am keeping both eyes on her struggling to get my pants on without getting shot or bludgeoned with a blunt object and trying to get the fuck out of dodge.
In my haste I trip going around the couch and falling I grab on to this large cylinder glass display with a bunch of breakables in it. My grab tosses this fucking thing into the ground with extreme prejudice causing EVERYTHING to shatter in it showering me in debris of glass and porcelain. I get up small cuts all over me bleeding run to the front door and the mother fucker is locked. It is one of those doors you need a key inside to open as well. And this bitch is still going psycho on me and by this time is throwing stuff at me. I dash through the house looking for another door and come to a side door. I don’t even bother trying to open it. I pick up ramming speed and put my shoulder into the door knocking it completely off the frame and I was gone baby gone.
The very next day she surprises me at the gym and apologizes profusely and asks me to giver her another chance. [/quote]
Should have given her another chance. It was probably just hormones. Or she was asking for another chance so that she could kill you.
This movie came to mind after reading this.[/quote]
I spent the entire length of that post mainly trying to picture her ass.[/quote]
She was a national level competitor and earned her pro card. I am not going to say her name. But she no longer competes and is married with a few kids. Still looks amazing though.
[quote]Bauber wrote:
I was 19 at the time and my mom got a new trainer at my current gym at the time. I was back home for the summer from college. Her trainer was a 29 year old fitness competitor with a banging body. Decent face, but her ass and legs were to die for. Anyways I saw her in there and being young and dumb never picked up on the overt flirting she was doing with me. Literally standing 3 feet away with her ass facing me as I was sitting on the benchpress bench doing straight legged deads when the gym was empty. I worked out just after lunch crowd left usually.
My mom would routinely come in for her training sessions and her trainer saw us talking while my mom was waiting for her to finish up with another client. She goes on about me and asks who I am when they start training, which of course my mom replies, “That is my son…” Lol.
Anyways we end up going out a few times nothing crazy dinner, gun range, normal stuff. Then on our third date we go out to early dinner, catch a movie and wind back at her place. She goes into her bedroom and comes back out in straight up see through lingerie. Now mind you I was a late bloomer when it came to sex mainly due to my parents scaring the shit out of me about how much a child would ruin my life at a young age. (Thank god for them). So she straight up straddles me and then gets up and does the sexiest strip tease I have ever seen. At this point I am just in awe and kind of in shock. She then gets on her knees and starts blowing me and goes in to ride me. I stop her and mention protection.
This is when the night goes terribly bad. She FLIPS HER FUCKING shit. Starts screaming at me asking if shes not beautiful enough to have a kid with. Ragingly asking me questions like, AM I TOO FAT? Am I not good enough for you?!! At this point I am keeping both eyes on her struggling to get my pants on without getting shot or bludgeoned with a blunt object and trying to get the fuck out of dodge.
In my haste I trip going around the couch and falling I grab on to this large cylinder glass display with a bunch of breakables in it. My grab tosses this fucking thing into the ground with extreme prejudice causing EVERYTHING to shatter in it showering me in debris of glass and porcelain. I get up small cuts all over me bleeding run to the front door and the mother fucker is locked. It is one of those doors you need a key inside to open as well. And this bitch is still going psycho on me and by this time is throwing stuff at me. I dash through the house looking for another door and come to a side door. I don’t even bother trying to open it. I pick up ramming speed and put my shoulder into the door knocking it completely off the frame and I was gone baby gone.
The very next day she surprises me at the gym and apologizes profusely and asks me to giver her another chance. [/quote]
Should have given her another chance. It was probably just hormones. Or she was asking for another chance so that she could kill you.
This movie came to mind after reading this.[/quote]
I spent the entire length of that post mainly trying to picture her ass.[/quote]
She was a national level competitor and earned her pro card. I am not going to say her name. But she no longer competes and is married with a few kids. Still looks amazing though.
[/quote]
Solid
So I think I just created a worst dating moment for a guy last night.
I was out at a local club with some friends. Start dancing with this cute girl. We head to get a drink, but I notice this guy is kind of trailing behind her. Being not a dick and not wanting to be stealing this girl from him, I ask her whats up with him. She says they are just friends and nothing else. Introduce myself to him, nice guy but extremely meek. I got the sense that he was possibly chasing her, but she had no interest. I asked if they were dating. He tells me they just met, and are friends.
As the night goes on she gets more flirtatious. In my intoxicated state I decide to invite her back to my place(not my best moment). To my surprise when we walk out he is right in toe, and I can see this is going to be a problem. When we walk through the front door she heads straight to my bedroom. I get him a drink and a blanket, and then I follow suit. Come to find out she likes to make a lot of noise. Then he opens the door while we are getting busy to tell her he is going home. He honestly looked like a whipped dog.
[quote]renzema wrote:
So I think I just created a worst dating moment for a guy last night.
I was out at a local club with some friends. Start dancing with this cute girl. We head to get a drink, but I notice this guy is kind of trailing behind her. Being not a dick and not wanting to be stealing this girl from him, I ask her whats up with him. She says they are just friends and nothing else. Introduce myself to him, nice guy but extremely meek. I got the sense that he was possibly chasing her, but she had no interest. I asked if they were dating. He tells me they just met, and are friends.
As the night goes on she gets more flirtatious. In my intoxicated state I decide to invite her back to my place(not my best moment). To my surprise when we walk out he is right in toe, and I can see this is going to be a problem. When we walk through the front door she heads straight to my bedroom. I get him a drink and a blanket, and then I follow suit. Come to find out she likes to make a lot of noise. Right in the middle of it he opens the door and says hes leaving. He honestly looked like a whipped dog.
man did I feel like a dick… [/quote]
I honestly think he’s better off for it
[quote]spar4tee wrote:
I honestly think he’s better off for it[/quote]
Maybe, but still had to rough hearing all that. Problem was he was so passive that I couldn’t tell if they were just friends or not, but by the look on his face when that door opened. Anyone would have known he was into her.
[quote]spar4tee wrote:
I honestly think he’s better off for it[/quote]
Maybe, but still had to rough hearing all that. Problem was he was so passive that I couldn’t tell if they were just friends or not, but by the look on his face when that door opened. Anyone would have known he was into her. [/quote]
WTF?? Why did he go to your house? Take a freaking bus or something. Dude kind of asked for it.
[quote]spar4tee wrote:
I honestly think he’s better off for it[/quote]
Maybe, but still had to rough hearing all that. Problem was he was so passive that I couldn’t tell if they were just friends or not, but by the look on his face when that door opened. Anyone would have known he was into her. [/quote]
WTF?? Why did he go to your house? Take a freaking bus or something. Dude kind of asked for it. [/quote]
that’s a good point, why would u go with your drunk chick friend to saome random dudes crib? it’s obvious what she is after, so why would you subject yourself to that as well as make yourself come across as a whipped puppy? and also, he should’ve just left without saying anything, not open the door while yall were doing the business to inform yall…jeez
[quote]spar4tee wrote:
I honestly think he’s better off for it[/quote]
Maybe, but still had to rough hearing all that. Problem was he was so passive that I couldn’t tell if they were just friends or not, but by the look on his face when that door opened. Anyone would have known he was into her. [/quote]
WTF?? Why did he go to your house? Take a freaking bus or something. Dude kind of asked for it. [/quote]
that’s a good point, why would u go with your drunk chick friend to saome random dudes crib? it’s obvious what she is after, so why would you subject yourself to that as well as make yourself come across as a whipped puppy? and also, he should’ve just left without saying anything, not open the door while yall were doing the business to inform yall…jeez[/quote]
cognitive dissonance
[quote]jbpick86 wrote:
WTF?? Why did he go to your house? Take a freaking bus or something. Dude kind of asked for it. [/quote]
I honestly think he was holding out hope, or just oblivious. Apparently he had never been to a club, so a bit naive. They were both 21, so not a big surprise. He was just out of his league and didn’t know it.
I mean you can be naïve and know what it about to happen if a dude and chick are going home alone together. Also, I am with stokes on being really curious as to why he opened the door to announce his departure. Trying to kill the mood perhaps. Seems like a poor strategy at that point. I don’t know if I have ever met someone quite that weak willed.
[quote]jbpick86 wrote:
I mean you can be naÃ?¯ve and know what it about to happen if a dude and chick are going home alone together. Also, I am with stokes on being really curious as to why he opened the door to announce his departure. Trying to kill the mood perhaps. Seems like a poor strategy at that point. I don’t know if I have ever met someone quite that weak willed.[/quote]
We were definitely polar opposites. I think it was a last ditch effort. Make her feel guilty and leave with him. Didn’t work of course, but he was just so out of his depth and I think he really didn’t know what to do.
On a funny note this thread popped into my head when he opened the door. I legitimately had to hold back laughter once he left.
I’m about 19 and go to pick this girl up at her house and go to the movies. I met her through someone I worked with.
I get to her house and her mother opens the door, invites me in and I’m making small talk with her and the girl’s dad waiting for my date to come down. They had this real old german shepard, he walked shakily and he had a touch of the mange or some other coat disorder.
The dog comes over, licks my hand and wags his tail. Fortunately he was facing away from me for his next act. The dog farts once, low and sort of hard to hear… hey, he’s a dog. Then he farts louder… and this jet of diarrhea shoots out of his ass, about 3’ long and it hits the rug.
I jump back a bit, checking the front of my pants and shoes… I’m okay. The mother is horrified and says she’ll clean it up and goes hustling for paper towels or whatever. Luckily the girl comes down and we make a hasty exit out of there. She did laugh about it, said the dog was real old and known for that.
[quote]beachguy498 wrote:
Another dog infused date story.
I’m about 19 and go to pick this girl up at her house and go to the movies. I met her through someone I worked with.
I get to her house and her mother opens the door, invites me in and I’m making small talk with her and the girl’s dad waiting for my date to come down. They had this real old german shepard, he walked shakily and he had a touch of the mange or some other coat disorder.
The dog comes over, licks my hand and wags his tail. Fortunately he was facing away from me for his next act. The dog farts once, low and sort of hard to hear… hey, he’s a dog. Then he farts louder… and this jet of diarrhea shoots out of his ass, about 3’ long and it hits the rug.
I jump back a bit, checking the front of my pants and shoes… I’m okay. The mother is horrified and says she’ll clean it up and goes hustling for paper towels or whatever. Luckily the girl comes down and we make a hasty exit out of there. She did laugh about it, said the dog was real old and known for that.
Rob[/quote]
I’d just be grateful you didn’t catch some on your pants, that’d been a major buzz kill lmao
[quote]jbpick86 wrote:
I mean you can be naïve and know what it about to happen if a dude and chick are going home alone together. Also, I am with stokes on being really curious as to why he opened the door to announce his departure. Trying to kill the mood perhaps. Seems like a poor strategy at that point. I don’t know if I have ever met someone quite that weak willed.[/quote]
[quote]stokes1989 wrote:
Ok guys, here’s a chance to share some of your worst dating moments ever.
I was spending time with this girl the other day and she decided to go pick up some brandy (that shit is nasty btw). so fast forward about 2 hours, I’ve only had like 3 drinks, she has drank probably half of the bottle. So we are having a conversation about the movie that was playing (at least I was trying to have a conversation, she was really hammered) when all of a sudden sher turns towards me, and spews all over my stomach and couch.
Nastiest shit ever, needless to say I made her go sit in the bathtub while I cleaned up, and haven’t spoken to her since…I feel rather tramautized by that event too…freaking drunk chicks man[/quote]
Did you mount her?[/quote]
[quote]jbpick86 wrote:
I mean you can be naÃ?¯ve and know what it about to happen if a dude and chick are going home alone together. Also, I am with stokes on being really curious as to why he opened the door to announce his departure. Trying to kill the mood perhaps. Seems like a poor strategy at that point. I don’t know if I have ever met someone quite that weak willed.[/quote]
He was hoping you guys would ask him to join in.[/quote]
Ahhh… The Devils threeway. The most awkward of the threeways.
[quote]jbpick86 wrote:
I mean you can be naÃ??Ã?¯ve and know what it about to happen if a dude and chick are going home alone together. Also, I am with stokes on being really curious as to why he opened the door to announce his departure. Trying to kill the mood perhaps. Seems like a poor strategy at that point. I don’t know if I have ever met someone quite that weak willed.[/quote]
He was hoping you guys would ask him to join in.[/quote]
Ahhh… The Devils threeway. The most awkward of the threeways.[/quote]
[quote]jbpick86 wrote:
I mean you can be naÃ?¯ve and know what it about to happen if a dude and chick are going home alone together. Also, I am with stokes on being really curious as to why he opened the door to announce his departure. Trying to kill the mood perhaps. Seems like a poor strategy at that point. I don’t know if I have ever met someone quite that weak willed.[/quote]
He was hoping you guys would ask him to join in.[/quote]
Probably.
He would have taken in the ass just for the chance to kiss her.
Not sure that is a missed opportunity, except in prison or Canada.