Worst Dating Moments Ever

Off Topic
41

[quote]stokes1989 wrote:
I fucking hate how girls always want to kiss you after they puked…one night this girl had just gone to the bathroom and puked and she came out and started talking w me, then somehow she apparently figured i wanted her, so she leaned in to kiss me. i pushed her away, hopped up, went in the bathroom and grab the listerine, came back out and said “you better use this first”. the dumb bitch then starts drinking my listerine! WTF[/quote]

One of my exes got so drunk I had to get her home and she was puking on the pavement in the process. Not. A. Fan. when we went to her place she tried to make up for it with sex… Nooooo thanks.

42

This thread is gold.

My lowest point was the day I had to fake my cat’s death to get away.

On my freshman year I met a hot chick on campus, fast forward a few weeks and we finally went out. We had planned to go grab a meal somewhere, but since it was raining we ended up going to a bar that was close by and settled for that. During all the previous weeks I hadn’t actually talked to her per se, we’d only text or talk real quick between classes, so that would be my first time actually getting to know her - usually, when the chick is hot enough I don’t really care about her personality as long as it isn’t completely disgusting or has some other incredible nagging trait that can’t be ignored/overlooked.

Back then I didn’t have my driver’s license yet (here in Brazil legal driving age is 18) so I walked to her place to pick her up. She came out wearing a super tight skirt and a top cleaved enough I could crawl inside it without no problems. “Great”, I thought, she was dressed for some serious pounding, can’t do wrong.

We got at the bar and sat down, ordered a few drinks (I don’t drink but I sometimes take one for the team when I have to) and starting talking. It was a nightmare. She was a complete fucking wreck to the point HER CLEAVAGE WEREN’T INTERESTING ANYMORE after only twenty minutes of conversation.

Plus, she had a really bad breath - which I tried to eliminate via mint drops to no success - to the point it’d burn my eyes if she talked too close to me. I kept trying to tell myself her ass was worth it, and that it would be a great night of sex and soon enough I’d be smanging her, but I came to the point I couldn’t push myself through it anymore.

I had to come up with an escape plan.

I wasn’t listening anymore, my mind was racing. I had to come up with a way to get away from her, so I said I had to take a piss and went to the bathroom to try to think of something convincing. On the way I stumbled across my next door neighbor that was a good friend of mine this girl, and I had the greatest idea ever. I told him what was going on and asked him to wait a few minutes then come over asking me what happened at my place, because he had seen my mom crying outside. I’d take it from there and so I did.

He came over, and I couldn’t have put a better act. I excused myself, pretended to call my mom, and kept repeting “WHAT? HE’S DEAD? HOW?” loud enough so she could hear it. I came back with a sad face on, told her my cat had been run over and died. I escaped.

I left for my football camp and was away for the whole following week. When I came back home, me and my friends posted on Facebook a picture in my living room, with my cat lying around on the floor.

A few minutes after the girl sends me a message “Tell me this isn’t your cat.”

We never spoke again.

43

[quote]drunkpig wrote:
The last date I had was July 4, 1991.

I have spent every minute I possibly could with that obviously mentally diminutive, and desperate girl for the last 22 years.

I wouldn’t call it a mishap - but halfway through that night, I spilled an almost full spit cup on my future mother-in-law. If you have a chance to spill a red dixie cup full of copehagen and saliva in your girlfriend’s mom’s lap - take it.

That is all. Time to take the geritol and go to bed. [/quote]

LOL holy fuck that’s incredible!!!

44

[quote]Brant2 wrote:
My lowest point was the day I had to fake my cat’s death to get away.
[/quote]

hahaha ive had a few similar moments, me and my buddy have this code word we will send via text which acts as a cue to call the person to act as a bailout, it’s ranged from “there was a break in” to “your mom just punched the shit outta your brother” to “dude the cops are raiding you apt”…best…teamwork…ever

45

Met a girl off POF.

Good date for 20 minutes or less then the sex talk gets going for 5 minutes and during this I noticed how she is different to what you’d consider normal girl behaviour/mannerisms when a man and woman talk about sex.

She loves to peg guys up the arse apparently and doesn’t buy into the “man is stronger” game.

I think to myself, “am I a bitch?..no”.

Look at her without saying anything for a couple of minutes as I am finishing my beer, she looks confused and I start laughing at her, looking at these two older guys next to us who know what is going down.

I get up, laugh some more and leave. Of all the chicks on POF who dont flake I had to get some woman who enjoys pegging complete wimps up the ass.

46

Ok I’ll throw my hat in the ring on this thread. I have a long list of stories but I’ll throw out two that happened in the last 6 months.

Title: 3 girls and a mom

I had been chatting with these two girls that are both pretty good friends. One night they invite me to go out on the town with them. Thinking that I will at least get some action from one of them(both were good looking, so didn’t care which). Well I swing by to pick them up, and they have a third friend with them. Start to think this is going to be a challenge to corral just one without the other two blocking me.

We head out to a local club where I can usually get a reserved table. Night drags on we are drinking round after round. I end up on the dance floor with all three. Having a great time and then I look down at them. All three are taking turns making out with each other. The odd one out is of course staring at me. So what the hell I join in. End up closing down the bar and I am trying to figure out the next move. One of the girls says we can go back to her place. Sure why not, I mean what guy is going to say no in this situation.

We get back to her place, and start to get at it. About 30 minutes into it the bedroom door comes flying open, and low and behold one of the girls moms is standing there. Apparently she forgot her mom was visiting from out of town and had just got in that night. I quickly grab my clothes and run for the door. I call me friend to come get since I have no car close by. I end up sitting on the curb for a little over an hour at 4:00am in 30 degree weather.

I will never forget the night but would rather forget the ending.

Title: Drunk girls and a new bed.

When I moved into my new place I was sick of my old bead so decided it was time for something really nice. Ended up picking up a bed that is like sleeping on a cloud. Every girl just melts into the thing. It was around 3k for the mattress. Needless to say I make sure that thing is not getting messed up. I live very close to all the clubs, and the after party regularly ends up at my place. One night I bring back this one chick, young, fun and very good looking. She asks if she can crash and goes into my bedroom. I am in the process of clearing everyone out of my place before join her.

By the time I get up there she is out, but hey there is always a little middle of the night fun. I end up waking up about an hour later to her peeing all over my bed. I pretty much push her off the bed as quickly as possible and strip the sheets. You would think she would get her stuff and leave but NOOOO. She get back on my bed and tries to go to sleep, IN THE PISS SPOT. I get her up, and call her a cab. Had to have the mattress cleaned and haven’t seen her since.

Hope you enjoyed two of my low points.

47

This one time I went on a dinner date with a girl. It was at a sea food restaurant, so I ordered ‘fish of the day’ and she ordered chilli mussels.

The food arrived and she then proceeded to take each mussel out of its shell and transfer it to another plate. It took about 20 minutes for her to separate all of the mussels from there shells. in that time I ate my food as slow as I could, but finished the whole meal just before she finished her de-shelling. Only once she had finished de-shelling she then proceeded to eat.

Deal breaker.

tweet

48

[quote]renzema wrote:
Ok I’ll throw my hat in the ring on this thread. I have a long list of stories but I’ll throw out two that happened in the last 6 months.

Title: 3 girls and a mom

I had been chatting with these two girls that are both pretty good friends. One night they invite me to go out on the town with them. Thinking that I will at least get some action from one of them(both were good looking, so didn’t care which). Well I swing by to pick them up, and they have a third friend with them. Start to think this is going to be a challenge to corral just one without the other two blocking me.

We head out to a local club where I can usually get a reserved table. Night drags on we are drinking round after round. I end up on the dance floor with all three. Having a great time and then I look down at them. All three are taking turns making out with each other. The odd one out is of course staring at me. So what the hell I join in. End up closing down the bar and I am trying to figure out the next move. One of the girls says we can go back to her place. Sure why not, I mean what guy is going to say no in this situation.

We get back to her place, and start to get at it. About 30 minutes into it the bedroom door comes flying open, and low and behold one of the girls moms is standing there. Apparently she forgot her mom was visiting from out of town and had just got in that night. I quickly grab my clothes and run for the door. I call me friend to come get since I have no car close by. I end up sitting on the curb for a little over an hour at 4:00am in 30 degree weather.

I will never forget the night but would rather forget the ending.

Title: Drunk girls and a new bed.

When I moved into my new place I was sick of my old bead so decided it was time for something really nice. Ended up picking up a bed that is like sleeping on a cloud. Every girl just melts into the thing. It was around 3k for the mattress. Needless to say I make sure that thing is not getting messed up. I live very close to all the clubs, and the after party regularly ends up at my place. One night I bring back this one chick, young, fun and very good looking. She asks if she can crash and goes into my bedroom. I am in the process of clearing everyone out of my place before join her.

By the time I get up there she is out, but hey there is always a little middle of the night fun. I end up waking up about an hour later to her peeing all over my bed. I pretty much push her off the bed as quickly as possible and strip the sheets. You would think she would get her stuff and leave but NOOOO. She get back on my bed and tries to go to sleep, IN THE PISS SPOT. I get her up, and call her a cab. Had to have the mattress cleaned and haven’t seen her since.

Hope you enjoyed two of my low points.
[/quote]

I’ve had the whole drunk girl peeing the bed happen before…it sucks i agree…

49

[quote]stokes1989 wrote:

I’ve had the whole drunk girl peeing the bed happen before…it sucks i agree…[/quote]

Where do you find these women?

Do you have phone numbers?

50

When I was 16 I met a girl through a mutual friend and we’d all hang out, then we exchanged numbers and would spend time together by ourselves. I asked if she wanted to go out to eat and spared no expense by taking her to Applebees, I thought it’s going well.

After we ate she asked if she could use my phone since she didn’t have a cell phone, she called a guy and she’s going to stay the night with him. After she got off of the phone with him she asked me if I’d drop her off at his house. His parents weren’t there and they were going to get drunk. We met up with some friends and my buddy was in the friend zone pretty bad with her, I got him to give her a ride over there.

There’s a girl with him that hated her and asked if I’d give her a ride. We got together pretty well and went over a friend’s house, they were older and had their own place. They left us alone because we were kissing. I figured I’d be getting lucky that night. We weren’t even there for an hour and a cop showed up looking for her because she ran away from home and her mom reported her missing.

51

[quote]conservativedog wrote:

[quote]stokes1989 wrote:

I’ve had the whole drunk girl peeing the bed happen before…it sucks i agree…[/quote]

Where do you find these women?

they approach me in random places…do you want me to PM you trheir numbers? (cause i totally will)

Do you have phone numbers?
[/quote]

52

[quote]stokes1989 wrote:

[quote]conservativedog wrote:

[quote]stokes1989 wrote:

I’ve had the whole drunk girl peeing the bed happen before…it sucks i agree…[/quote]

Where do you find these women?

they approach me in random places…do you want me to PM you trheir numbers? (cause i totally will)

Do you have phone numbers?
[/quote]
[/quote]
Strong quoting, Master Bruce

53

A chick I was banging (not exclusively, mind you) told me that if I ever slept with anyone while I was “together” with her and she found out about it, she would pretend everything was fine, proceed to give me a blowjob, and then bite my dick off. Needless to say, she scared the shit out of me after that.

54

[quote]The Greek wrote:
A chick I was banging (not exclusively, mind you) told me that if I ever slept with anyone while I was “together” with her and she found out about it, she would pretend everything was fine, proceed to give me a blowjob, and then bite my dick off. Needless to say, she scared the shit out of me after that. [/quote]

I sure hope you poked her brown truffle after she said that.

55

[quote]stokes1989 wrote:
Ok guys, here’s a chance to share some of your worst dating moments ever.
I was spending time with this girl the other day and she decided to go pick up some brandy (that shit is nasty btw). so fast forward about 2 hours, I’ve only had like 3 drinks, she has drank probably half of the bottle. So we are having a conversation about the movie that was playing (at least I was trying to have a conversation, she was really hammered) when all of a sudden sher turns towards me, and spews all over my stomach and couch.

Nastiest shit ever, needless to say I made her go sit in the bathtub while I cleaned up, and haven’t spoken to her since…I feel rather tramautized by that event too…freaking drunk chicks man[/quote]
Did you mount her?

56

I’m 16 and taking this girl to a school dance. The boys had to wear ties and the girls had to wear dresses or skirts. So I walk over to the girl’s house to get her and we start off to the school which was a 10 minute walk.

We come up on this local nasty old man and his equally nasty little poodle that he has on a leash walking. We get maybe 20’ in back of them and decide to cross the street… right after this car passes.

Well… this little poodle has the evil eye for anything that moved, kids on bikes and cars mostly. The dog lunges out to chase the car and gets clipped… the leash is ripped out of the old man’s hand and he falls down. The dog goes for 3 spins on the wheel of misfortune. In the space of maybe 2 seconds we hear, YIP, BUMP, BUMP, BUMP and the mangled dog gets ejected out at the old man’s feet.

The dog is reduced to being about 2" tall and is nothing but a pink mess. The old man is crying, the guy in the car stops, my date is a basket case since it happens right in front of us. We get to the dance and her makeup is running down her face and everyone is looking at us. One of the teachers comes over and I explain what happened. We got through the night and dated a few times after that. But what a way to go on a first date.

Rob

57

[quote]beachguy498 wrote:
I’m 16 and taking this girl to a school dance. The boys had to wear ties and the girls had to wear dresses or skirts. So I walk over to the girl’s house to get her and we start off to the school which was a 10 minute walk.

We come up on this local nasty old man and his equally nasty little poodle that he has on a leash walking. We get maybe 20’ in back of them and decide to cross the street… right after this car passes.

Well… this little poodle has the evil eye for anything that moved, kids on bikes and cars mostly. The dog lunges out to chase the car and gets clipped… the leash is ripped out of the old man’s hand and he falls down. The dog goes for 3 spins on the wheel of misfortune. In the space of maybe 2 seconds we hear, YIP, BUMP, BUMP, BUMP and the mangled dog gets ejected out at the old man’s feet.

The dog is reduced to being about 2" tall and is nothing but a pink mess. The old man is crying, the guy in the car stops, my date is a basket case since it happens right in front of us. We get to the dance and her makeup is running down her face and everyone is looking at us. One of the teachers comes over and I explain what happened. We got through the night and dated a few times after that. But what a way to go on a first date.

Rob[/quote]

Thats awesome. Fucking poodles.

58

I was 19 at the time and my mom got a new trainer at my current gym at the time. I was back home for the summer from college. Her trainer was a 29 year old fitness competitor with a banging body. Decent face, but her ass and legs were to die for. Anyways I saw her in there and being young and dumb never picked up on the overt flirting she was doing with me. Literally standing 3 feet away with her ass facing me as I was sitting on the benchpress bench doing straight legged deads when the gym was empty. I worked out just after lunch crowd left usually.

My mom would routinely come in for her training sessions and her trainer saw us talking while my mom was waiting for her to finish up with another client. She goes on about me and asks who I am when they start training, which of course my mom replies, “That is my son…” Lol.

Anyways we end up going out a few times nothing crazy dinner, gun range, normal stuff. Then on our third date we go out to early dinner, catch a movie and wind back at her place. She goes into her bedroom and comes back out in straight up see through lingerie.

Now mind you I was a late bloomer when it came to sex mainly due to my parents scaring the shit out of me about how much a child would ruin my life at a young age. (Thank god for them). So she straight up straddles me and then gets up and does the sexiest strip tease I have ever seen. At this point I am just in awe and kind of in shock. She then gets on her knees and starts blowing me and goes in to ride me. I stop her and mention protection.

This is when the night goes terribly bad. She FLIPS HER FUCKING shit. Starts screaming at me asking if shes not beautiful enough to have a kid with. Ragingly asking me questions like, AM I TOO FAT? Am I not good enough for you?!! At this point I am keeping both eyes on her struggling to get my pants on without getting shot or bludgeoned with a blunt object and trying to get the fuck out of dodge.

In my haste I trip going around the couch and falling I grab on to this large cylinder glass display with a bunch of breakables in it. My grab tosses this fucking thing into the ground with extreme prejudice causing EVERYTHING to shatter in it showering me in debris of glass and porcelain. I get up small cuts all over me bleeding run to the front door and the mother fucker is locked.

It is one of those doors you need a key inside to open as well. And this bitch is still going psycho on me and by this time is throwing stuff at me. I dash through the house looking for another door and come to a side door. I don’t even bother trying to open it. I pick up ramming speed and put my shoulder into the door knocking it completely off the frame and I was gone baby gone.

The very next day she surprises me at the gym and apologizes profusely and asks me to giver her another chance.

59

[quote]Bauber wrote:
I was 19 at the time and my mom got a new trainer at my current gym at the time. I was back home for the summer from college. Her trainer was a 29 year old fitness competitor with a banging body. Decent face, but her ass and legs were to die for. Anyways I saw her in there and being young and dumb never picked up on the overt flirting she was doing with me. Literally standing 3 feet away with her ass facing me as I was sitting on the benchpress bench doing straight legged deads when the gym was empty. I worked out just after lunch crowd left usually.

My mom would routinely come in for her training sessions and her trainer saw us talking while my mom was waiting for her to finish up with another client. She goes on about me and asks who I am when they start training, which of course my mom replies, “That is my son…” Lol.

Anyways we end up going out a few times nothing crazy dinner, gun range, normal stuff. Then on our third date we go out to early dinner, catch a movie and wind back at her place. She goes into her bedroom and comes back out in straight up see through lingerie. Now mind you I was a late bloomer when it came to sex mainly due to my parents scaring the shit out of me about how much a child would ruin my life at a young age. (Thank god for them). So she straight up straddles me and then gets up and does the sexiest strip tease I have ever seen. At this point I am just in awe and kind of in shock. She then gets on her knees and starts blowing me and goes in to ride me. I stop her and mention protection.

This is when the night goes terribly bad. She FLIPS HER FUCKING shit. Starts screaming at me asking if shes not beautiful enough to have a kid with. Ragingly asking me questions like, AM I TOO FAT? Am I not good enough for you?!! At this point I am keeping both eyes on her struggling to get my pants on without getting shot or bludgeoned with a blunt object and trying to get the fuck out of dodge.

In my haste I trip going around the couch and falling I grab on to this large cylinder glass display with a bunch of breakables in it. My grab tosses this fucking thing into the ground with extreme prejudice causing EVERYTHING to shatter in it showering me in debris of glass and porcelain. I get up small cuts all over me bleeding run to the front door and the mother fucker is locked. It is one of those doors you need a key inside to open as well. And this bitch is still going psycho on me and by this time is throwing stuff at me. I dash through the house looking for another door and come to a side door. I don’t even bother trying to open it. I pick up ramming speed and put my shoulder into the door knocking it completely off the frame and I was gone baby gone.

The very next day she surprises me at the gym and apologizes profusely and asks me to giver her another chance. [/quote]

Should have given her another chance. It was probably just hormones. Or she was asking for another chance so that she could kill you.

This movie came to mind after reading this.

60

[quote]harrypotter wrote:

[quote]beachguy498 wrote:
I’m 16 and taking this girl to a school dance. The boys had to wear ties and the girls had to wear dresses or skirts. So I walk over to the girl’s house to get her and we start off to the school which was a 10 minute walk.

We come up on this local nasty old man and his equally nasty little poodle that he has on a leash walking. We get maybe 20’ in back of them and decide to cross the street… right after this car passes.

Well… this little poodle has the evil eye for anything that moved, kids on bikes and cars mostly. The dog lunges out to chase the car and gets clipped… the leash is ripped out of the old man’s hand and he falls down. The dog goes for 3 spins on the wheel of misfortune. In the space of maybe 2 seconds we hear, YIP, BUMP, BUMP, BUMP and the mangled dog gets ejected out at the old man’s feet.

The dog is reduced to being about 2" tall and is nothing but a pink mess. The old man is crying, the guy in the car stops, my date is a basket case since it happens right in front of us. We get to the dance and her makeup is running down her face and everyone is looking at us. One of the teachers comes over and I explain what happened. We got through the night and dated a few times after that. But what a way to go on a first date.

Rob[/quote]

Thats awesome. Fucking poodles.[/quote]
Hey now. They’re not all bad.