Lucky you, lol.
I felt like the Tao was showing me my life in a short period - my whole life was being lived clenched, tight, in fear.
The trip itself was not good. The experience was. Kind of a bad trip, good trip experience that proves there are no bad trips.
I think this is impossible without an altered state of consciousness. I do believe there are other ways to accomplish altered states of consciousness, such as meditation and breathwork, but getting out of your head, shutting down the default mode network, are necessary to objectively view how poorly you have performed as a human.
Interestingly enough, despite attending Shamanic recovery meetings and practicing shamanic breathwork, I have little to no interest in ayahuasca.
I think that is because I am a sissy. Sitting in the jungle drinking strange brew that might make you puke is just a little too voodoo for me.
A woman I went through Kundalini Yoga Teacher Training with was very much into it, and helped her kick an opiod habit.
But, she wore yoga pants and would stretch right in front of me showing me her junk, so I think she still had some work to do.
By the standards I would have theoretically had as a teenager, which is WAY past any statutes of limitation by the way, your trip would have fuckin’ sucked bro. Reading it as an adult, it just sounds like the mushrooms worked.
I have no idea how I would react as an adult and I don’t plan on finding out. The only drug left on my “might try someday” list is testosterone, and that would just be TRT. There’s definitely value in psychedelics for certain people in certain circumstances, but it’s something I think will have rapidly diminishing returns for most when it comes to valuable insight that you can apply to improve your life in tangible ways.
For example, in the middle of a trip you could potentially find yourself in a 1992 Mercury Topaz surrounded by seas of undulating corn stalks that are taller than you can reach, all reaching towards the stars together with one mind. The corn mind. You’re listening to your buddy’s bootleg tape of the Phish show last year at Deer Creek for the third time. The music performed by the band Phish sounds fantastic.
I would interpret something like that as a sign that your search for cosmic insight through psychedelics has drawn to a close.
You had an experience and you’re drawing what you can from it. That’s good woo in my book.
Say hi to Doris for me if you see her again.
Thanks for weighing in, for motivating me to write about it. Journaling is, in my opinion, an important part of post journey integration.
The trip itself sucked. I believe it sucked because of what I brought to it, and it gave me what I needed, not what I wanted.
I’ve been on TRT for a few years, so I have one up on you. I do want to try DMT but I struggle with the motivation. Andrew Weil said it best - I got the call from God. I don’t need to call him again.
A ton of these are questionable. Mostly due to the increase of Americans wanting to try it out. Make sure you go with a legit person.
You’re in Texas, right? I bet there’s some Native American church people having peyote meetings somewhere around you. It’s different, but similar. Just some tribes a little further north using a different substance. Similar mindset. Most of the ones I know are more on the West Coast but I think the TX/OK region was where it got its start, and there’s still plenty of people carrying it on down there.
There are churches popping up all over that use psilocybin as a sacrament.
Now, they are using DMT infused water for mycology substrate creating a four hour DMT experience.
You can get a similar effect from meditation or breathwork. But, psychedelics are the jam and are here to stay.
I am in Texas. Supposedly my house is on what used to be the largest recorded Comanche camp, and I occasionally find an arrowhead or stone tool in the yard.
I’ve heard of people going to New Mexico for these ceremonies, but would have to research Texas. Not sure our govt is friendly towards hallucinogenic tourism, even under religious pretense.
Probably not, but that’s why I’d almost “recommend” it. If you can find someone doing it, you can usually just tag along, whereas the South American one often involves paying someone. The fact that one involves money is what usually leads to any riskiness.
There is some emerging research that deep meditative states and near death experiences are related to endogenous (in-body) production of DMT, possibly in the pineal gland. Some research indicates DMT induced states and near-death experiences correlate well.
Interesting. I first heard about DMT from the Rogan podcast and thought the overlap in describing experiences with people who’ve been clinically dead was pretty neat.
Speaking of near death induced hallucinations and Indians @jshaving, I live in a relatively thin strip of area that has native mountain laurels, and they drop seeds known as mescal, which were used in ceremonies. Rumor has it they’re hallucinogenic but they’re also extremely toxic. They can cause muscle paralysis, vomiting, a red vision hue and some other nasties. Seems like partaking may be a mix of hallucinations and visiting the brink of death. I guess I could make a tea as they’re all over my yard at certain points of the year, but I think I’d prefer a guide who knows what they’re doing, lol.
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/0024320579905903
https://www.texasbeyondhistory.net/ethnobot/images/mountain-laurel.html
After just a couple times you get bored with the search for cosmic meaning.
Then it’s all corn-mind and fantastic music.
One of the red flags is when hours of meandering guitar noodling sounds incredible and you believe that there’s something profound about it.
There isn’t. You’re just on drugs listening to someone in a similar state wailing on their instruments. Phish sounds terrible to me now.
I still give Mountain Jam a listen fairly regularly, but the Allman Brothers are much better musicians than Phish. The first time I heard that song was during a mushroom trip on a perfect summer night when we were trespassing on the dunes of Lake Michigan. That was a great trip.
Theres a lot of stuff like that where the juice might not be worth the squeez, like the Panther Aminita.
And various other members of the amanita family.
Definitely. These berries can shut your kidneys down. In would not make a mad scientist tea in the kitchen.
Had a back and forth with @EmilyQ about breathwork and wanted to expand on it without clogging up her training thread.
She greatly enjoys the runner’s high but running can be damaging as we all get older so I suggested breathwork to get a similar high. She, like many of us, struggles to be still so dismissed breathwork - something I understand.
When I talk of breathwork I am referencing holotropic/transformational breathwork rather than yogic pranayama. Specifically, the breathwork developed by Stanislav Grof who developed the method to replace LSD therapy when LSD was criminalized. Through conscious connected breathing the prefrontal cortex shuts down and allows the breather to attain samadhi - a feeling of blissful connectedness.
One of the people I follow is Tommy Rosen who began his yoga practice in early recovery. He tells a story where his yogi told him he should have gone to prehab before becoming an alcoholic/addict. His yogi explained that prehab was learning to sit still. Tommy recalled positioning himself during yoga classes so that he could see the clock during downward facing dog so he could tell how much time he had to endure before class was over. He had not learned to be still.
I have had similar experiences. I enjoy having done yoga, but not the yoga itself.
Through repeated attempts to sit still, including daily meditation, eight hours of chanting meditation at Kundalini White Tantra, breathwork, and now Vipassana meditation, I have gotten better at sitting still. I have found value in Jon Kabat-Zinn’s encouragement that we are human beings, not human doings. There is great value in the space between breaths.
Just some random thoughts that I thought I would throw out.
This is one of the most useful exercises I’ve worked on. Took a very long time to learn to just observe. It’s very easy to accidentally change your breathing.
Some similarities to buddhist techniques, some major differences.
The exercise is useful on its own. No need to care about the microcosmic orbit stuff. It just happens to be taught as part of his public course on it.
A little long, but I watched fifteen minutes. I am not a fan of connecting asanas or pranayama to detoxing organs - it seems a little too woo woo for me. I have a particular aversion based on my Kundalini experience - “Kriya to clear the kidneys and adrenals.” It might actually work, but there is no evidence, so it reeks of charlatanism.
That being said, I think this guy does a good job with creating and holding space for a decent meditation. I appreciate you sharing it.
He mentions Wu Wei, which is doing nothing, becoming a part of the way, the Tao. It’s funny how the Tao works. I had the interaction that motivated me to post earlier. I do content on TikTok around spirituality and today I did verse 15 of the Tao - be still. It was the conversation I had with the other member, it is the conversation I am having with you now.
Intention versus attention is interesting. I want to live an intentional life, to co-create with the Tao, but intention can get in the way of accepting the Tao, to take you out of the flow.
Vipassana, my new toy, is about recognizing when intention arises, when subconscious becomes conscious. When it becomes conscious, you either like or dislike, which creates craving or aversion, both of which create attachment and suffering.
If you can be mindful, through the practice of meditation, then you see the subconscious become conscious, the intention arise from attention, and you can avoid becoming attached leading to controlling your response - becoming stoic.
Wacky stuff.
Is that actually true?
like or dislike are less extreme than craving or aversion, I don’t think it always needs to grow more extreme - although I appreciate and recommend recognizing the risk
I don’t think like or dislike need to create attachment, though they can, and also they could be the result of it
HAHAHAHA
I typed that before reading the next paragraph!! That does sound like a pretty cool toy, congratulations, enjoy
My understanding of Taoism, Buddhism, Stoicism, and Vipassana is rudimentary at best. I certainly don’t have it figured out.
I listen to many podcasts, typically fall asleep while listening, so not the most effective means of learning.
I watched a TikTok today where this gal was talking about what do you do when you figure out that you are living in the matrix, that nothing matters due to impermanence (one of the tenets of Taoism)?
The answer is to focus on enjoying the journey - do things you enjoy doing (within the limits of morality), spend time with people you enjoy, focus on the process.
They all tie in together nicely.
