Women's Sex Problems

Off Topic
21

MVAC,

I am so sorry to hear about you guys’ problem. I can sympathize because I had the exact same problem myself, and I know firsthand how frustrating this can be. Your girlfriend probably feels very inadequate and feels like she got ripped off by nature somehow. Whatever you do, do not make this about your feelings right now even though I understand it is very hard for you as well.

The first thing you two should do is to take the focus off the orgasm for awhile. Because when the sole focus of sex is having an orgasm, you feel like you are on stage performing and everyone is holding their breath to see if you will hit the big “O”. So not only do you feel let down when you don’t orgasm, you feel you have let your partner down. This only adds to the problem.

Her problem could be physical, emotional, or a combination of both. You guys should definitely go see a doctor, and try and find one who specializes in sexual disorders. They are few, but they are out there. You should also have her testosterone levels checked. And before you even see a doctor, there are some questions you could address that might help to get you on the right track to finding an answer. For example, can your girlfriend get herself off? If she can not, I will almost bet that is the main source of the problem. Does she get wet when she is turned on? Does she get turned on at all? Does she initiate the sex ever, or is it always you? How was sex approached in her home when she was growing up? Was she ever in a sexually abusive relationship?

Again, there is no one simplistic answer that is going to solve the problem overnight. I advise you to encourage her and really just focus on the foreplay & act of sex rather than the orgasm. Go back to just holding hands and kissing, and work back up to sex really slowly. Encourage her to masturbate when you are not around or to learn how if she cannot already. The flow of water technique is marvelous (mentioned earlier), and that is something she can do on her own and all for herself. But until you guys identify the problem and find the answer, don’t give up on sex.

You must be a very loving boyfriend to put out such an honest post on such a macho website. I am sure with you at her side, you guys will find the answer. For me, it was an emotional thing I had to work through. But for her it could be totally different. Anyway, I wish you two the best of luck and many years of happy, healthy sex!

22

greek, i am so impressed, what a stud!!!better not let my wife get a whif of you, or i am on the road to single fatherhood!LOL!

23

FWIW, I recall reading that the majority of the nerves surround the opening of the vagina and that there are very few nerves in the interior. Thus, her sensation of “not feeling anything inside” may not be all that abnormal, but I can’t tell for sure since I’m not an M.D. A visit to the OB/GYN would be in order. Also, the “getting drunk” suggestion was not necessarily a crack pot answer. Getting her to feel relaxed and comfortable is important, and alcohol can help. Setting the right atmosphere and mood will also help. What’s that saying - women need to be in the mood but guys just need a place. Getting her to touch herself is also a good suggestion - once she learns how to “press her own buttons” she can then communicate this to you. Scrub and Iron Maiden also offer good tips.

24

MVAC… I think I read somewhere that there is a topical ointment that stimulates vaginal sensations… I dunno, but might be worth looking into…

Iron Maiden… Funny that was the first thought I had to.

Jeff Rage… Still laughing my ass off at the “man in the boat” phrase… And the running water is true.

Just a funny thought… Look at the amount of people that have gathered to get this girl off. It’s become a group effort. Another funny thing is that I’m sure everyone wants to know when she does orgasm and will feel like they’ve all have a part in it… sorta one big cyber orgy… LOL

And yes women are very metally turned on, but by age 29, I’m sure she has been aroused mentally. It’s not so much being in love as being VERY physically attracted to the person, and I’m sure she has been physically attracted to someone in the past. So I I don’t think that is the problem, especially since she has NEVER had one. If I am physically attracted, love has nothing to do w/ it. Well, not nothing, love is just the deciding factor whether I have sex or not, but definitely not whether I’m turned on or not.

Good luck!

25

Do your foreplay and all that bullshit and then start licking her clit lightly getting alot of spit on there. then slowly put your fingers in all the way and tilt them upward, almost verticle and start to move your fingers really really fast back and forth while licking her clit in a circular motion and see how she responds.

26

Dawg: That’s a great idea.

Echo…Echo…Echo

27

Thanks again guys. I appreciate all of the suggestions. Just to clarify the situation: she gets very wet but just not any real intense sensations. I really have not been focusing on the Orgasm too much with her its just that because she never gets to that point and it never gets too intense she really does not have that much interest in sex. She never initiates sex and I usually have too, but when I do I feel bad because I feel like she is just going through with it to please me. We have sex/fool around very infrequently because she just never seems very responsive and I just don’t feel like haveing sex just to get off all by myself (well I have to do that all the time anyway). But if it feels like you are just trying to get it over with you might as well be alone. Well that how I feel. I really have not expressed all of this part of it to her because I don’t want her to feel bad but it just gets so frustrating. I really care about her but at times I get tempted to go elsewhere to take care of business but I don’t want to do that. I just want things to be good between us.

Anyway, again I appreciate all of this advice, and back to the birth control topic, I would love to hear if anyone has any info about Kiriva (mircette) and sex problems. Thanks.

MVAC

28

Oh, also guys if I ever get this worked out successfully and she does have an orgasm or is even just able to enjoy sex more, you guys will be the third to know.

MVAC

29

In a few cases like this, I have seen improvement/results form a low-dose shot of Testosterone (yes, I know she’s a woman). 200mg of Depo-test sometimes works wonders for females who have sexual dysfunction secondary to either oral hormones or menopause.

30

that’s the “cum hither.”

31

The whole thing about “feeling guilty about initiating sex because you don’t think she enjoys it as much as you do”, sounds like something that maybe you should talk to her about. I’m a fan of honesty and communication and all that shit. Maybe you she does go through the motions for your benefit. Or maybe she thinks you don’t enjoy sex as much as you do, because you initiate sex infrequently. Maybe she would like you to initiate more frequently, as you would be letting her know you still find her desirable. The point is, maybe you should talk about it, so you know where you stand better.

32

I’ve been with two girls, “who’ve never had an orgasm”, and I managed to change that. It’s not her, it’s you. That’s my mentality. Unless she has no sex drive. Then it’s her.

2 questions:

How long are you lasting?

Is she turned on during sex? Or is she just doing it for you?

33

The “Machine” has spoken.

and that is how he got that name.

34

There’s some neat stuff called KY warming liquid, by the makers of KY jelly, and it feels all warm when you use it as lube… It could help improve the sensations for you and her during sex.
Some girls can’t get a g-spot orgasm from regular coitus, and I’ve heard that anal sex can stimulate in a unique way, maybe she’d like that too. You may also enjoy it too! heh heh heh.

35

I think Archaic is right:-)

36

My gf doesn’t like the warming lube. Stick to the Ky gelly, it has a better consistency and lasts longer. She might just go through the motions for you. Try getting her a little buzzed with alcohol and then really give it to her, it should help if you are buzzed too to take away inhibitions.

37

my pitty/good wishes goes out to you

38

Tantra dude, tantra…

Its whole focus is on worship of the body as particularly the vagina and the wang. Here is a story, more of a testamonial on how well this works.

Me and my ex GF, well she was my gf at the time, had been going through some problems. I was travelling a lot, working a ton, and still trying to finalize a divorce. We would fight and be frustrated with each other then have sex and it would be more than lackluster, both of us not putting into it the kind of attention it needed to be good. She wouldn’t come, I’d come but it would either be right away or it would take forever. So long that we would both be like “lets just go to sleep”

Then because I saw our sex life going no-where and because I really wanted to stay with this girl, I decided to do some research on the horniest people on the globe… The Indians.

Now the Kama Sutra is a good guide and can provide some pretty fun, daresay acrobatic ideas into one’s sex life but we had already used a few of those, so researching that would be fruitless.

However, when I looked into Tantra I found that most of the things it discussed were more laid back, tender, caring, and overall mental or emotional.

Fast forward to a special night when it was just her and I at a nice dinner then home for some relaxation. I lit some candles, put on some music (Accoustic Dave Matthews/Tim Reynolds) and I asked her to relax, breathe deep and let me take care of her.

OK, now the whole process isn’t all that complicated, so bear with me. You put one or two pillows under her hips, and you have her prop her head up on a pillow so she can see what you’re doing. You position yourself inbetween her legs and begin to massage the outer lips of her pussy as well as the clit. Maintain the mindset that you’re Giving a massage, not a fingerfuckfest. Don’t kiss it, don’t fuck it. This is all for her, you’re just there to take care of her. Don’t touch yourself, if you have a free hand, which you might or might not have, massage her thighs and press slightly down on the lower abdomen. Keep eye contact with her, try to breathe at her pace, tell her she’s beautiful but with a soothing tone, not the rough porno tone. The pace should be slow and tender. Even if she doesn’t orgasm, (but she probably will) she will feel a closer, more open, bond with you. She might even start crying, don’t be suprised.

This isn’t something you do every night, it’s only supposed to be used once in awhile. But it works.

It saved my relationship (at the time) too bad things didn’t end up working out in the long run.

Anyway, it’s something to consider, good luck.

B.