I’ll get straight to the point. I don’t think my girlfriend has ever had an orgasm (She’s 21 years old). She says she “thinks” she has, which for me says she hasn’t. We’re not having sex at the moment, but doing everything else. Almost every time we screw around she eventually starts shaking then tells me to stop a few seconds later, but never describes the experience as an orgasm, just as feeling “really good.” What’s the deal with this? I tend to think that she wants it to stop just when she’s about to. I would hate to think that she’s faking (which would be hard to believe). What do you guys think? And specifically for the vixens, is a female orgasm different than a male’s? I guess you can never really know, but what has your experience been?
Sure sounds like an orgasm to me. Women tend to have better, more intense orgasms in their 30’s, so the only difference may be in the intensity.
Sounds like an orgasm to me too. Just a funny story. THis last October I went home with a girl from G&C’s(club) and to make a long story short, we were on the couch and I started to finger her while sitting in back of her. Anyhow, talk about shaking…lol…I swear to you I thought the girl was having convulsions. lol I had to stop for a minute to keep myself from laughing.
i believe a lot of women will agree with me here when i say that giving oral pleasure to a woman is a very effective way to bring her to orgasm. go slowly and ask her what she likes or dislikes about what you’re doing. it may be something she’s better able to control if you go slowly. good luck…
does it get really wet when she tells you to stop? if so then she proabably did, but if not she might just be afraid of getting you wet or might think that you will think it is gross or something. women are weird dude. okay, first let me say this. i am in the same situation as you (no sex, but pretty much everything else). i remember before i could actually make my girlfriend orgasm i was always asking one of my friends “well, she did this, and then this happened, does that mean i mad her cum”. and he would tell me the same thing over again “trust me, you will know when she has an orgasm”. well i kept on trying and finally i did it. it was pretty cool, you know the feeling you get when you’ve been playing a video game for months and finally beat it. well anyways, heres are some signs to watch for. 1. she was screaming. 2. she pretty much soaked the entire bed (the most definate way to tell). 3. She was squirming all around on the bed and couldnt really help it. just make sure you have good commununication though because a lot of times when she squirms around it means you are hurting her. now that you know some signs let me tell you how to do it. remember this technique might not work on your vixen since each girl is different, but id be willing to bet that it will. first you have to do some foreplay crap like kiss her and play with nipples(i know it sucks, but at least do it for 5 minutes). by this time it should be wet enough to enter. first start with one finger and do some gentle slow rubbing around and make her more horny. (note: use the index and middle fingers, they work the best.) then use two and pretty much do whatever you want for a little while (just keep them moving and use a slow tempo). then take the two out and go back to one for a little bit and if you are up for it and want to be certain that you will make her orgasm then now would also be the time to start licking her clit. next stick two back in (all the way in) and move them back and fourth in a “come here” like motion as fast as you can. you will probably only be able to do this for a minute or so because it will kill your forearm. once your forearm cant take it anymore switch to moving your two fingers in and out as if they were fucking her. dont take them all the way out though, your range of motion only needs to be a couple of inches and keep the tempo extremely fast on this part too. now if she doesnt come after a few minutes or so, switch to the first method of moving the fingers back and fourth. then when your arm gets tired again go back to the second method and she is sure to explode. after she cums you can keep on doing this and usually make her cum a few more times. also for this to work best you have to kinda build up. so if the second method isnt working try the first method more or start eating her out more. the better you do at the previous method the more likely that the next one will work. so try this and let us know what happens.
Jesus! Your Vixen is a Lucky Girl!. And if it doesn’t work out give me a chance!
Did she cum? Are you kidding me? If you can’t tell 100% at the time by the non-fakable signs (vaginal and rectal contractions) give her THE TEST. I have never seen a women that could stand to have her clit touched immediately after orgasm. All claim that it is far too stmulating (painfully so). So when in doubt (or just 'cause I like to see them jump) I’ll dive right for her clit (if I’m not there already). Now I’ve been kicked in the head a few times but there was no question about the ‘O’.
Thanks for the great advice so far! I’m confident now that she hasn’t ever had one, because we talked about it some more last night. She’s just “not sure,” and she doesn’t get any wetter when she starts shaking. I really get the feeling that either she’s embarassed or feels uncomfortable about going further and letting it go. I also think she doesn’t really understand how intense it’s supposed to feel, and it might scare her when she gets close. But you can bet I’ll be trying the technique described by the nameless man above once we get to “oral pleasure” (we haven’t yet).
I’m still not sure about whether an orgasm is different for a guy and girl. What do you guys think? And any other tips or insight appreciated.
One thing I am though, is committed. So you can all be sure that I’ll keep trying:)
I learn so much about diet and lifting from this forum, ah a topic where I can now spread knowledge. I too have some trouble seeing if a girl came or not, it’s like reading sand script. During the exact moment of orgasm, it’s physiologically impossible for a girl to be screaming. She can open her mouth really wide but nothing going to be coming out. In looking at when a man cums and a woman cums, there are distinct differences. A mans back arches, thrusting forward, muscle contracts, all the fun stuff, our bodies are trying to, for lack of a better term, bury our dicks so far in the vagina that the semen has a better chance at getting to it’s destination.
The woman, when they cum is quite the opposite. The vagina contracts and almost acts like a vacuum sucking up the semen and really holding onto whatever might be in the vagina. (in a perfect world men and women cum at the same time) all that energy is internal. If you are fingering her and you feel some hardcore contracts, good job. Screaming is not a sign though. I totally agree that if she starts swatting your finger/tongue/penis away, she is overly sensitive and she came. Think about when you cum, I personally can't be touched, way too sensitive. Give the old fingering the G-spot a try. If she says it feels good but then she feels like she has to pee, you're doing it right. Tell her she won't pee and she should just release it. That's a lot of fun.
Ok here is what I’ve learned from my five years of extremely open communication about sex with my husband - you guys do cum differently, and through different mechanisms. For a man, it’s primarily the stimulus (how it feels) that makes you climax. For women it mostly the mental, with the stimulus coming in second. Meaning, what she’s thinking about, or worrying about could very well keep her from hitting climax even if you do all the right things. If she feels under pressure to cum, it could make it really hard. If she doesn’t know if she’s cum, she hasn’t. Believe me, you can shake, squirm, and feel really good without cumming. You can even have all they typical signs of orgasm without cumming(ie, very wet, very sensitive clit). If you are giving her too much stimulation on her clit - it can work agaist you, making it numb and even harder to cum. The clit likes much more gentle stimulation than the penis, don’t touch her the way you want to be touched. Be very gentle, and when she squirms ask her if it feels good or if the stimulation feels like “too much”. Other than that, help her relax, tell her it doesn’t matter if she cums as long as she enjoys it, you don’t mind. Do anything you can to make her feel really relaxed before you have sex - back rub, long bath where you are the one washing her, anything she likes. If she can learn to let go, she will cum. Good luck, I hope I’ve helped. Oh - one more thing, if it is during just straight sex that she doesn’t cum, maybe she’s not getting “enough” clit stimulation. Tilt you hips forward so that your pubic bone presses on her clit, or let her get on top where she can make sure she’s getting hit in all the right places.
If she says she “thinks so,” it means she hasn’t;she should know unequivocally. Sounds like she isn’t comfortable enough to tell you what she likes. If she isn’t forthright when you ask her, get her loaded first or some other mind altering experience to get her to let her defenses down. If this doesn’t loosen her up, ask her best friends. Once you’ve gotten a recipe or two, slowly and sensually take charge in acting out her fantasies and desires.
Then again, Romeo, you could always tell her that you would be so incredibly turned on by pleasing her sexually and making her go wild, and that you yearn to know what turns her on. Tell her this while you two are making love, but for cripe’s sake, just make sure you keep it as part of the lovin’…keep your tone smooth and sensual and stare into her eyes when you ask her. good luck.
Check out Sexuality.org all the help (to get started anyway) can be found there. As far as you woman goes I have had that happen before. I bet she doesn’t masterbate either. If that is the case she most likely had something bad happen that makes her shun her sexuality (this doesn’t mean she won’t be horney usually the opposite most women who have this are hyper sexual however unsatisfied). It was described to me by a woman as such “It is so stimulating I am worried I am going to pee”. You may want to open up the conversation and get her to describe in detail what she is feeling. Shit if you can touch her in her holiest of holies I would immagine you can talk to her. I am not raggin I just find it weird that most people (americans anyway) find it easier to fuck the hell out of eachother than talk intimately about it. The way I resolved the situation is I taught her how to masterbate and did it in such a way that she felt very comfortable and damn did she cum. She damn near ripped my head from my shoulders when she did. Needless to say she will never forget me… The way I apporached it was simple, I first gave her a relaxing hot bath and treated her like a princess, then took her to the bedroom after toweling her off then I gave her an oil massage until she was almost passed out then I began the sexual stuff very very very very gently then I requested she touch herself and let me watch. Then I touched her and asked her what she liked and didn’t like. I made myself pay attention only to her sasiation for the next few hours and eventually it happened. It was very cool too. I am sure you know this but in case you do not “If you get the woman off you will get off”
I had this problem with a former girlfriend who has never had an O before she met me (yes I AM a T-man thanks very much!). She had been sexually assaulted a few years earlier by a previous boyfriend and after that her thighs would shake and shake but that was as close as she could come - like getting to the top of the mountain without being able to “cum” back down.
It took a few months of patience on my part, but eventually once i became familiar with her it was one tiny one, then bigger and bigger until eventually she would half half-hour long orgasms. It’ll be worth the wait when you give her one, you lucky dog!
Either that, or stop ejaculating prematurely. whatever works 
Knuckledragger and others who mentioned it, you are right on the money in that she did have a bad previous sexual experience. I’m not sure if I’d call it rape, but a former boyfriend definitely had sex with her before she was ready, and he knew that she wasn’t ready. How severely this has affected her I don’t know, but it could be something I really need to look into. If so, how should I handle this? She’s a very horny girl as Knuckledragger suggested, and has no problem messing around very frequently, but obviously she never orgasms. I really like her a lot and don’t want to mess anything up. I really like the fact that she doesn’t hide the fact that she gets horny (a lot of girls do), but I need to find a way to get her around this. What she says when she starts shaking and tells me to stop is, and I quote: “it felt really, really good, but I just didn’t think it was going to go further.” I don’t really know what that means. I think it definitely could be a mental problem or a problem trusting or relaxing around guys after her bad sexual encounter in the past. Any opinions or suggestions?
Women can have orgasms too? Wow. Ya’ learn somethin’ new every day.
I went down the same road years ago, I had a girl friend who would do exactly the same thing, shake, wiggle, freak out, all the above, but not the big O. Her father was the culprit, he had sexually molested her as a young girl. Sounds like you are doing everything right physically, I would suggest patience and communication, and when she finally relaxes and learns to enjoy it, you’ll know when she erupts, trust me, I probably still have fingernail scars on my back and that was almost 20 years ago.
Fresh, So if I am right so far then do what I suggested. Read Sexuality.org it will give you good ideas about how to get her to relax etc. and what to do once she is. Best of all it sounds like you actually like her a lot that will go farther than any technique or any shit we can spew about it. Have patience, and be very kind and gentle. Listen to her audibly, visually, and look into her eyes women cannot hide inside if you know how to read their eyes. Ask her a couple simple questions like what she had for lunch simple things she doesn’t have to think about (observe where her eyes go) if they go up and left make a mental note of that (that is where her eyes go when she is on auto response). Then ask her something that requires thought (what did your 3rd grade teacher look like when you were little) observe again if they go own and right make a mental note of that (that is where her eyes go when she is in thought). Then ask her about sex if they go to the thinking area then she is purposefully formulating her response and is not comfortable shooting from the hip yet. If they go to the auto response she trusts you. Just a little interogation tactic that can be very helpful when trying to read the illusive woman. There is a ton more to that technique but you get the gist.
just let me try her out . i’ll let u know if she is having one. 