Women's Fear of Random Attacks

Off Topic
61

[quote]theOUTLAW wrote:
imhungry wrote:
theOUTLAW wrote:
HAHA. All these tough “T-Women.” Won’t you be upset someday when a guy weighing in at 200 (not necessarily muscular) throws and beats you to the ground…and then you realize you’re not a badass just because you do squats and post on a message board.

(There’s probably 5% of women that are exceptions to this and can actually handle themselves.)

It’s called being smart. I agree that a woman shouldn’t be overwhelmed with fear, but don’t be an idiot.

For example…I see five Crips standing on the sidewalk. Do I walk through them to prove how tough I am, or do I avoid them by crossing the street?..I’d avoid them.

What women said, or acted like they were badasses on here?

Trust me…women are better in real life. Step away from the computer.[/quote]

Whatever.

Answer the question.

62

[quote]theOUTLAW wrote:

The whole tone of the thread reeks of “badass” and stupidity. “I can’t prevent it from happening anyways…”

[/quote]

Isn’t that what you just said in your previous post? Mocking women who thought they could prevent being attacked?

63

[quote]dianab wrote:
theOUTLAW wrote:

Trust me…women are better in real life. Step away from the computer.

ROFLMAO @ the irony of this advice.[/quote]

Every once in awhile I come to this site to check out the articles and the politics section. I decided to take a look over here and felt compelled to post.

Yes. It’s ironic that I posted that in the Get A Life section.

64

[quote]sluicy wrote:
theOUTLAW wrote:

The whole tone of the thread reeks of “badass” and stupidity. “I can’t prevent it from happening anyways…”

Isn’t that what you just said in your previous post? Mocking women who thought they could prevent being attacked?[/quote]

I was mocking the women who are naive and think that men aren’t going to attack them.

Then I was reading the comments about rape statistics, suggesting that strangers are not likely to rape women because of some statistic. But I guess they are aware of the possibility that men can rape them in the first place. Whatever, I don’t feel like taking time to develop seal-tight arguments on the internet.

65

[quote]theOUTLAW wrote:
dianab wrote:
theOUTLAW wrote:

Trust me…women are better in real life. Step away from the computer.

ROFLMAO @ the irony of this advice.

Every once in awhile I come to this site to check out the articles and the politics section. I decided to take a look over here and felt compelled to post.

Yes. It’s ironic that I posted that in the Get A Life section.
[/quote]

Well now that you’ve done your duty you can cease the irony.

66

Some of the posts did have a badass tone.

But it is all in how you interpret the posts. Tone or mood indicators would be good. I suck at tone interpretation.

Some of the posters wrote that they did all this stuff in dangerous areas, or times, or in what could be a dangerous thing, place, time, crowd, but they didn’t mention any precautions. They didn’t say, “but I make sure I look around” or “I carry my car keys in my hand to gouge an attacker” or even that if they have the choice they walk in a group to their car.

Nope… nooooo precautions mentioned at all as they wander alone on their dark city streets late at night. … come on…

I don’t think anyone is telling folks to be afraid constantly.

and it is stupid not to look behind you if you are alone and some stranger is walking behind you, man or woman. What are you trying to prove? It takes a lot more courage to turn around and look that person in the face and maybe make a fool of yourself.

67

[quote]ouroboro_s wrote:
theOUTLAW wrote:
debraD wrote:
I sure would like to know how walking to and from work and running alone equates to one thinking she’s a badass. Seriously, that is absurd.

Hey, I mean if you live in a nice neighborhood where everyone knows everybody…fine. Walking or running at night by yourself though?..

The whole tone of the thread reeks of “badass” and stupidity. “These women are scared…I don’t care…I run by myself…I’m tough. Yeah. Me too! I’m not going to let a man following me bother me…Only a guy who knows me will rape me…I can’t prevent it from happening anyways…” All the women on here think they’re badass (Again, the 5% exception applies here). All because of a message board.

If this doesn’t satisfy you…take the whole badass thing out of what I said, and everything else still stands.

Still not sure where this is coming from. Are you sure you aren’t colouring this with your own perceptions?

Are you saying that because there is a chance that some 200lb man can beat us down we should treat every man as having the potential to do that? Do you agree then that we should fear and avoid you all? If that’s the case I feel sad for all the men.[/quote]

Yes. Weigh every person as a possible threat according to your intuition. We don’t live in Candyland.

68

[quote]KBCThird wrote:
Vicomte wrote:
SSC wrote:
I can always tell when walking around campus when a girl is suspicious. Apparently logic doesn’t appeal to them - because just maybe my class is in the same direction as hers. Unless some girl is in the middle of Englewood at two o’clock in the morning, it’s all mental.

Ha! I thought I was the only one. They glance back, then lock their head straight ahead and step up the pace a bit; if they’re wearing a skirt, they will suddenly become self-conscious and hold the hem down, like you’re going to try to disrobe them right there. It never occurs to them that you might just be taking a similar route that you’ve used for the past three years. My reaction varies between amusement and annoyed incredulity.

And apparently it never occurs to you that the phrase “better safe than sorry” might be going through their heads.

OP, you do seem to provide some over-the-top examples of peopel who live in unnecessary and unproductive fear, as well as examples of an attitude that could certainly be considered paternalistic (and therefore somewhat patronizing)

…but the fact is that these attitudes exist for a reason. I dont know that the other extreme, a cavalier disregard for ones own safety as well as the physical well-being of others would be any more desirable. I think the poster above me has a similar attitude - unless you have a reason to trust someone, why should you?[/quote]

There’s a difference between being prudent and being silly. The situation I described is an example of this ‘unnecessary and unproductive fear’. You’re walking in a dark alley by yourself in Compton? Fine. You’re at school in a suburban town in the middle of the day while surrounded by people? A bit silly. What does moving a bit faster and acting scared do to deter an attack, exactly? Like people mentioned before, you act like a victim, you become one. Encouraging people to act like prey in obviously nonthreatening situations is fear-mongering.

Not all attitudes exist for a reason. Fear can be useful, or it can be incapacitating. I mentioned being prepared for trouble as the best option, rather than trying to avoid it all the time, through ridiculously inflated means. Try to avoid it, sure, but be prepared for it to happen, because eventually it cannot be avoided, and then you’re fucked. The scared girl who runs from men in the supermarket is going to be easy prey for the guy in the alley.

If you have no reason to distrust someone, why would you? They should remain somewhat neutral until they are revealed as either or. Be cautious and observant, and be prepared if something goes down. But don’t turn white, hold down your skirt and pray to your god to save your ass.

Fear is only productive if you make it productive. The discussion in this thread is about people who use fear for nothing but to feel afraid.

69

[quote]OctoberGirl wrote:

Some of the posts did have a badass tone.

But it is all in how you interpret the posts. Tone or mood indicators would be good. I suck at tone interpretation.

Some of the posters wrote that they did all this stuff in dangerous areas, or times, or in what could be a dangerous thing, place, time, crowd, but they didn’t mention any precautions. They didn’t say, “but I make sure I look around” or “I carry my car keys in my hand to gouge an attacker” or even that if they have the choice they walk in a group to their car.

Nope… nooooo precautions mentioned at all as they wander alone on their dark city streets late at night. … come on…

I don’t think anyone is telling folks to be afraid constantly.

and it is stupid not to look behind you if you are alone and some stranger is walking behind you, man or woman. What are you trying to prove? It takes a lot more courage to turn around and look that person in the face and maybe make a fool of yourself.

[/quote]

Yes.

70

[quote]theOUTLAW wrote:
sluicy wrote:
theOUTLAW wrote:

The whole tone of the thread reeks of “badass” and stupidity. “I can’t prevent it from happening anyways…”

Isn’t that what you just said in your previous post? Mocking women who thought they could prevent being attacked?

I was mocking the women who are naive and think that men aren’t going to attack them.

Then I was reading the comments about rape statistics, suggesting that strangers are not likely to rape women because of some statistic. But I guess they are aware of the possibility that men can rape them in the first place. Whatever, I don’t feel like taking time to develop seal-tight arguments on the internet.[/quote]

Who said that men weren’t going to attack them?

Stop smoking crack and get off the computer.

71

[quote]imhungry wrote:
theOUTLAW wrote:
sluicy wrote:
theOUTLAW wrote:

The whole tone of the thread reeks of “badass” and stupidity. “I can’t prevent it from happening anyways…”

Isn’t that what you just said in your previous post? Mocking women who thought they could prevent being attacked?

I was mocking the women who are naive and think that men aren’t going to attack them.

Then I was reading the comments about rape statistics, suggesting that strangers are not likely to rape women because of some statistic. But I guess they are aware of the possibility that men can rape them in the first place. Whatever, I don’t feel like taking time to develop seal-tight arguments on the internet.

Who said that men weren’t going to attack them?

Stop smoking crack and get off the computer.

[/quote]

Do you read just for the words? Read critically, bud.

If you want to build off that statement you just made, then these women are stupid if they are doing these things when they know of such threats. No?

72

[quote]theOUTLAW wrote:
ouroboro_s wrote:
theOUTLAW wrote:
debraD wrote:
I sure would like to know how walking to and from work and running alone equates to one thinking she’s a badass. Seriously, that is absurd.

Hey, I mean if you live in a nice neighborhood where everyone knows everybody…fine. Walking or running at night by yourself though?..

The whole tone of the thread reeks of “badass” and stupidity. “These women are scared…I don’t care…I run by myself…I’m tough. Yeah. Me too! I’m not going to let a man following me bother me…Only a guy who knows me will rape me…I can’t prevent it from happening anyways…” All the women on here think they’re badass (Again, the 5% exception applies here). All because of a message board.

If this doesn’t satisfy you…take the whole badass thing out of what I said, and everything else still stands.

Still not sure where this is coming from. Are you sure you aren’t colouring this with your own perceptions?

Are you saying that because there is a chance that some 200lb man can beat us down we should treat every man as having the potential to do that? Do you agree then that we should fear and avoid you all? If that’s the case I feel sad for all the men.

Yes. Weigh every person as a possible threat according to your intuition. We don’t live in Candyland.[/quote]

Candyland was a dangerous fucking place. Land on a dot and you’re fucked. Not to mention that creepy molasses dude(rapist potential). Who’s naive?

The idea is that some people’s intuition has been seriously skewed. They see threats where there are none.

73

[quote]theOUTLAW wrote:
sluicy wrote:
theOUTLAW wrote:

The whole tone of the thread reeks of “badass” and stupidity. “I can’t prevent it from happening anyways…”

Isn’t that what you just said in your previous post? Mocking women who thought they could prevent being attacked?

I was mocking the women who are naive and think that men aren’t going to attack them.

Then I was reading the comments about rape statistics, suggesting that strangers are not likely to rape women because of some statistic. But I guess they are aware of the possibility that men can rape them in the first place. Whatever, I don’t feel like taking time to develop seal-tight arguments on the internet.[/quote]

Not trying to get into an argument, but not a single woman on here said men wouldn’t attack them. I gave rape statistics after reading a post that basically said if women take precautions and don’t walk alone or at night or whatever, then chances are they’ll never have to deal with getting raped.

I was simply arguing that I could do all of that and still be raped by someone I know. By no means was I trying to say that I’m tough and mighty and someone I don’t know could never try to assault me.

74

[quote]OctoberGirl wrote:

Some of the posts did have a badass tone.

But it is all in how you interpret the posts. Tone or mood indicators would be good. I suck at tone interpretation.

Some of the posters wrote that they did all this stuff in dangerous areas, or times, or in what could be a dangerous thing, place, time, crowd, but they didn’t mention any precautions. They didn’t say, “but I make sure I look around” or “I carry my car keys in my hand to gouge an attacker” or even that if they have the choice they walk in a group to their car.

Nope… nooooo precautions mentioned at all as they wander alone on their dark city streets late at night. … come on…

I don’t think anyone is telling folks to be afraid constantly.

and it is stupid not to look behind you if you are alone and some stranger is walking behind you, man or woman. What are you trying to prove? It takes a lot more courage to turn around and look that person in the face and maybe make a fool of yourself.

[/quote]
You will read whatever tone you want to read I suppose. It seems ridiculous to me that the absence of a long list of disclaimers of how I take every precaution to ward off harm is the same as someone saying she’s a badass.

In order for me to qualify and thinking I’m a badass I would actually have to acknowledge and believe there is an actual threat to myself. I do not. At least not one I believe I need to change my entire life routine for.

75

[quote]Vicomte wrote:
theOUTLAW wrote:
ouroboro_s wrote:
theOUTLAW wrote:
debraD wrote:
I sure would like to know how walking to and from work and running alone equates to one thinking she’s a badass. Seriously, that is absurd.

Hey, I mean if you live in a nice neighborhood where everyone knows everybody…fine. Walking or running at night by yourself though?..

The whole tone of the thread reeks of “badass” and stupidity. “These women are scared…I don’t care…I run by myself…I’m tough. Yeah. Me too! I’m not going to let a man following me bother me…Only a guy who knows me will rape me…I can’t prevent it from happening anyways…” All the women on here think they’re badass (Again, the 5% exception applies here). All because of a message board.

If this doesn’t satisfy you…take the whole badass thing out of what I said, and everything else still stands.

Still not sure where this is coming from. Are you sure you aren’t colouring this with your own perceptions?

Are you saying that because there is a chance that some 200lb man can beat us down we should treat every man as having the potential to do that? Do you agree then that we should fear and avoid you all? If that’s the case I feel sad for all the men.

Yes. Weigh every person as a possible threat according to your intuition. We don’t live in Candyland.

Candyland was a dangerous fucking place. Land on a dot and you’re fucked. Not to mention that creepy molasses dude(rapist potential). Who’s naive?

The idea is that some people’s intuition has been seriously skewed. They see threats where there are none.[/quote]

I agree. I addressed this in my first post when I said I don’t believe people should be overly fearful of potential threats. It’s just a matter of using your head.

But when it comes down to it…better safe than sorry?

For example…I was washing my car at one of those pay and spray stations by myself near a wooded area. I see a guy walking towards me…I go into react mode. I then see this same guy out of the corner of my eye stop and reach down into his left boot. I then pull out a small boat anchor that I was transporting in my car. The man looks at me…stutters hello and keeps on walking. Is this extreme paranoia? I don’t care.

76

[quote]debraD wrote:
OctoberGirl wrote:

Some of the posts did have a badass tone.

But it is all in how you interpret the posts. Tone or mood indicators would be good. I suck at tone interpretation.

Some of the posters wrote that they did all this stuff in dangerous areas, or times, or in what could be a dangerous thing, place, time, crowd, but they didn’t mention any precautions. They didn’t say, “but I make sure I look around” or “I carry my car keys in my hand to gouge an attacker” or even that if they have the choice they walk in a group to their car.

Nope… nooooo precautions mentioned at all as they wander alone on their dark city streets late at night. … come on…

I don’t think anyone is telling folks to be afraid constantly.

and it is stupid not to look behind you if you are alone and some stranger is walking behind you, man or woman. What are you trying to prove? It takes a lot more courage to turn around and look that person in the face and maybe make a fool of yourself.

You will read whatever tone you want to read I suppose. It seems ridiculous to me that the absence of a long list of disclaimers of how I take every precaution to ward off harm is the same as someone saying she’s a badass.

In order for me to qualify and thinking I’m a badass I would actually have to acknowledge and believe there is an actual threat to myself. I do not. At least not one I believe I need to change my entire life routine for.[/quote]

oh my apologies then, I hadn’t seen you mention any precautions at all.

good to know you do.

it is usually the threat you don’t see coming that gets you, but good to know you are being as safe as you can.

I just hadn’t read any mention of any type of precaution from you or a couple of others

77

[quote]theOUTLAW wrote:
imhungry wrote:
theOUTLAW wrote:
sluicy wrote:
theOUTLAW wrote:

The whole tone of the thread reeks of “badass” and stupidity. “I can’t prevent it from happening anyways…”

Isn’t that what you just said in your previous post? Mocking women who thought they could prevent being attacked?

I was mocking the women who are naive and think that men aren’t going to attack them.

Then I was reading the comments about rape statistics, suggesting that strangers are not likely to rape women because of some statistic. But I guess they are aware of the possibility that men can rape them in the first place. Whatever, I don’t feel like taking time to develop seal-tight arguments on the internet.

Who said that men weren’t going to attack them?

Stop smoking crack and get off the computer.

Do you read just for the words? Read critically, bud.

If you want to build off that statement you just made, then these women are stupid if they are doing these things when they know of such threats. No?[/quote]

What you see and what I see are different. They ARE using their common sense, and taking precautions, but they aren’t letting their fear control their lives.

78

[quote]OctoberGirl wrote:

Some of the posts did have a badass tone.

But it is all in how you interpret the posts. Tone or mood indicators would be good. I suck at tone interpretation.

Some of the posters wrote that they did all this stuff in dangerous areas, or times, or in what could be a dangerous thing, place, time, crowd, but they didn’t mention any precautions. They didn’t say, “but I make sure I look around” or “I carry my car keys in my hand to gouge an attacker” or even that if they have the choice they walk in a group to their car.

Nope… nooooo precautions mentioned at all as they wander alone on their dark city streets late at night. … come on…

I don’t think anyone is telling folks to be afraid constantly.

and it is stupid not to look behind you if you are alone and some stranger is walking behind you, man or woman. What are you trying to prove? It takes a lot more courage to turn around and look that person in the face and maybe make a fool of yourself.

[/quote]

I think the point of Debra’s original post was the attitude in which you approach the danger possible around you. Not being paranoid is not the same as not being aware. I have seen nothing to indicate that any of the women posting here are irrationally naiive when it comes to protecting themselves.

I personally will carry any one of: mace, a knife, a tazer. I constantly survey my surroundings and know the cars and the habits of the people which frequent where I live. I try to project a natural sense of confidence and awareness of my surroundings.

When I go out at night (which I do best to avoid) I am VERY aware of my surroundings and open-get in-lock the vehicle as quickly as possible, as well as taking the dog.

Am I paranoid? no. Am I scared? no. Am I aware that there is a lot of crime in my area and I could become a victim? yes, and take precaution to help that not happen.

IF IT DOES… is not the same as fatalistically saying it will.

79

[quote]imhungry wrote:
theOUTLAW wrote:
sluicy wrote:
theOUTLAW wrote:

The whole tone of the thread reeks of “badass” and stupidity. “I can’t prevent it from happening anyways…”

Isn’t that what you just said in your previous post? Mocking women who thought they could prevent being attacked?

I was mocking the women who are naive and think that men aren’t going to attack them.

Then I was reading the comments about rape statistics, suggesting that strangers are not likely to rape women because of some statistic. But I guess they are aware of the possibility that men can rape them in the first place. Whatever, I don’t feel like taking time to develop seal-tight arguments on the internet.

Who said that men weren’t going to attack them?

Stop smoking crack and get off the computer.

[/quote]

It seems I didn’t misinterpret. How’s this?

[quote]debraD wrote:

In order for me to qualify and thinking I’m a badass I would actually have to acknowledge and believe there is an actual threat to myself. I do not. At least not one I believe I need to change my entire life routine for.[/quote]

80

[quote]imhungry wrote:
theOUTLAW wrote:
imhungry wrote:
theOUTLAW wrote:
sluicy wrote:
theOUTLAW wrote:

The whole tone of the thread reeks of “badass” and stupidity. “I can’t prevent it from happening anyways…”

Isn’t that what you just said in your previous post? Mocking women who thought they could prevent being attacked?

I was mocking the women who are naive and think that men aren’t going to attack them.

Then I was reading the comments about rape statistics, suggesting that strangers are not likely to rape women because of some statistic. But I guess they are aware of the possibility that men can rape them in the first place. Whatever, I don’t feel like taking time to develop seal-tight arguments on the internet.

Who said that men weren’t going to attack them?

Stop smoking crack and get off the computer.

Do you read just for the words? Read critically, bud.

If you want to build off that statement you just made, then these women are stupid if they are doing these things when they know of such threats. No?

What you see and what I see are different. They ARE using their common sense, and taking precautions, but they aren’t letting their fear control their lives.[/quote]

Alright…well I saw some posts mentioning precautions, others didn’t. I was referring to the latter.