Husband Gone, Realistic or Paranoid?

Off Topic
1

My husband just started trucking and he will be gone for up to 2 weeks at a time. I’m a little nervous because I can be ditzy when it comes to my own safety, i.e. ignoring warning signs, pretty typical of girls, I guess. I’m from Maine, and used to not even having to lock the doors. Now we live in an apartment complex near Dallas and it’s an OK area but there are definitely a lot of drugs/some prostitution running around.

I’m friends with two immediate neighbors but one has a lot of drama, i.e. ex-BF sending friends in the middle of the night to break in and kidnap their baby, etc. The other couple is better but I don’t wholly trust the husband, he’s a little too nice to me.

I have a 100 lb. dog, have “advertised” that I own a gun with a Glock sticker on the patio door, carry pepper spray everywhere. The bottom line is I’m not used to the whole urban thing, and what sort of things to pay attention to and what sort of things I’m being overly paranoid about.

The thing that got me freaked out about this was yesterday after I dropped my husband off at the terminal, when I came home there was this guy leaning against a tree across from my apartment, just hanging out drinking a beer. He watched me drive in, get my groceries, every time I looked at him, he was watching me. As soon as I started up the stairs, he got in his car and left. So am I paranoid, or should I be worried about people noticing that I’m alone most of the time now?

I’ve talked to my husband about all this but I wanted to put this out here, I figured I could get some good/inventive suggestions on being safe.

2

Wait since when was “urban” area related to drug sales and prostitution? Any area that has drug sales going on I would be worried about simply because of the type of people that it brings in.

I would suggest moving to a place where there aren’t drug sales going on. I can understand that money may be an issue but I had a broke ass friend find a decent and cheap place outside of Dallas.

The guy sounds more like he was casing your house for a break in. Seeing your schedule, ect. but he could have just been some guy high and killing time.

Best bet would be don’t keep a regular schedule. IF you leave for work every day at 7am, go the gym at 6PM and bed at 10PM people who want to break in will notice things like that. If you switch up your schedule they won�??t bother with your place as it would be too much of a hassle.

Also, you may want to check out a home security system. You’ll knock off about 10% of your renters insurance with it and my cousin is a police officer out that way. He said he hasn’t responded to a single break-in at a home/apartment with a security system. He’s gone to a few false alarms but in his years of being in law enforcement that’s it.

If you can’t afford the system at least go get some of the signs for one and put them up :slight_smile:

3

If you live in a large city, which Dallas is, you should ALWAYS be concerned about your safety. That goes for everyone, not just women. You don’t leave your door open, and you don’t ignore the FACT that people will watch your habits in order to find your weaknesses.

This is something those of us who didn’t grow up rich but grew up in large cities learned very early on.

Even now, if I buy a new electronic product, whether that be a tv or computer, I will do my best to reduce to the number of people who actually SEE me bring it in.

All it takes is one time for someone to break in for you to lose any sense of security you thought you had.

What bothers me is that you didn’t know this already.

This is also why inner city kids aren’t as sedentary and un-athletic as kids who grew up in more relaxed surroundings. You do push ups as a kid when there is a risk someone will take advantage of you if you look too weak.

4

I’d pick up a few Lukwerks cameras and sign up for the service, that way when you’re not home, you can still check on what’s going on in and outside of your home.

Change up your patterns (time you leave, come home) for a few weeks and see if there are any more or less incidents of pedestrian or vehicular traffic around your area.

Don’t ignore your gut feelings; there a subconscious response to perceived-threat stimuli.

5

Did you get his plate number?

6

[quote]Professor X wrote:
If you live in a large city, which Dallas is, you should ALWAYS be concerned about your safety. That goes for everyone, not just women. You don’t leave your door open, and you don’t ignore the FACT that people will watch your habits in order to find your weaknesses.

This is something those of us who didn’t grow up rich but grew up in large cities learned very early on.

Even now, if I buy a new electronic product, whether that be a tv or computer, I will do my best to reduce to the number of people who actually SEE me bring it in.

All it takes is one time for someone to break in for you to lose any sense of security you thought you had.

What bothers me is that you didn’t know this already.

This is also why inner city kids aren’t as sedentary and un-athletic as kids who grew up in more relaxed surroundings. You do push ups as a kid when there is a risk someone will take advantage of you if you look too weak.[/quote]

Quoted for truth.

I also made it a point when moving into my new apartment to move my larger electronics (tv, computer, Xbox 360, PS2, NES and SNES) when there were virtually no cars near my apartment, with no foot traffic.

I made sure, though, that I had a decent number of people around when I moved in a few cinder blocks and plywood sheets for my book cases.

Probably a bit too paranoid, and not overly effective, but I don’t think it hurt.

7

[quote]Professor X wrote:

All it takes is one time for someone to break in for you to lose any sense of security you thought you had.

What bothers me is that you didn’t know this already.

[/quote]

Thanks for the reply.

We’ve had our house broken into when we lived in the middle of nowhere, so I guess I should clarify that I am not under an illusions about how immune I am to having the apartment broken into. My blind spot tends to be personal safety, i.e. going out at night, alone, thinking I’m so tough. I know that’s dangerous and stupid and I have to be careful not to make decisions with the mentality that nothing can happen to me. I more wanted input on how to stay safe in an urban environment from people who were used to it, since I’m used to having trees for neighbors.

8

[quote]CrewPierce wrote:
Wait since when was “urban” area related to drug sales and prostitution? Any area that has drug sales going on I would be worried about simply because of the type of people that it brings in.

I would suggest moving to a place where there aren’t drug sales going on. I can understand that money may be an issue but I had a broke ass friend find a decent and cheap place outside of Dallas.

The guy sounds more like he was casing your house for a break in. Seeing your schedule, ect. but he could have just been some guy high and killing time.

Best bet would be don’t keep a regular schedule. IF you leave for work every day at 7am, go the gym at 6PM and bed at 10PM people who want to break in will notice things like that. If you switch up your schedule they won�??t bother with your place as it would be too much of a hassle.

Also, you may want to check out a home security system. You’ll knock off about 10% of your renters insurance with it and my cousin is a police officer out that way.

He said he hasn’t responded to a single break-in at a home/apartment with a security system. He’s gone to a few false alarms but in his years of being in law enforcement that’s it.

If you can’t afford the system at least go get some of the signs for one and put them up :slight_smile:
[/quote]

Thanks for the advice.

And yes, there were just as much drug traffic in rural Maine. Maybe more. I didn’t say all that very well. I think you know what I meant though.

9

[quote]hit the gym wrote:
Did you get his plate number?[/quote]

No, he hopped in and drove off almost before I realized it, as I was unlocking… I need to be more attentive. See, this is my problem.

10

My apologies to all the guys before me that think you’re going to end up on Channel 5 news.

I think you’re paranoid.

A guy is drinking a beer under a tree watching you? Hardly a cause for alarm. My guess is he lives in the development and is doing what most men do when they see a women - they look.

People that appear or act vulnerable are prime targets for criminals, whether you’re in a rural or urban environment. Walk, talk, and act with confidence.

You can legally carry a firearm in Texas. I suggest you replace the pepper spray with a snub-nosed .38 and remove the Glock “advertisement.”

You’ve got a large Boxer from what I can see in your avatar - he/she should be all the warning you need in the event of a problem.

I would imagine your husband has thoughts on this matter. Something tells me he thinks you’re paranoid too.

11

[quote]sluicy wrote:
My husband just started trucking and he will be gone for up to 2 weeks at a time. I’m a little nervous because I can be ditzy when it comes to my own safety, i.e. ignoring warning signs, pretty typical of girls, I guess. I’m from Maine, and used to not even having to lock the doors. Now we live in an apartment complex near Dallas and it’s an OK area but there are definitely a lot of drugs/some prostitution running around.

I’m friends with two immediate neighbors but one has a lot of drama, i.e. ex-BF sending friends in the middle of the night to break in and kidnap their baby, etc. The other couple is better but I don’t wholly trust the husband, he’s a little too nice to me.

I have a 100 lb. dog, have “advertised” that I own a gun with a Glock sticker on the patio door, carry pepper spray everywhere. The bottom line is I’m not used to the whole urban thing, and what sort of things to pay attention to and what sort of things I’m being overly paranoid about.

The thing that got me freaked out about this was yesterday after I dropped my husband off at the terminal, when I came home there was this guy leaning against a tree across from my apartment, just hanging out drinking a beer. He watched me drive in, get my groceries, every time I looked at him, he was watching me. As soon as I started up the stairs, he got in his car and left. So am I paranoid, or should I be worried about people noticing that I’m alone most of the time now?

I’ve talked to my husband about all this but I wanted to put this out here, I figured I could get some good/inventive suggestions on being safe.[/quote]

I think you should try to move to a better part of town. Your neighborhood doesn’t sound like it’s worth the hassle. As a general rule, if you feel like you’ll need to use your gun in a certain neighborhood, it’s a good idea to move.

Re: your Glock sticker: if your neighbors know you have guns, they’ll be more likely to break in when you’re gone. Guns are stolen a lot. Do you keep it in a safe?

12

[quote]Polish Rifle wrote:
My apologies to all the guys before me that think you’re going to end up on Channel 5 news.

I think you’re paranoid.

A guy is drinking a beer under a tree watching you? Hardly a cause for alarm. My guess is he lives in the development and is doing what most men do when they see a women - they look.

People that appear or act vulnerable are prime targets for criminals, whether you’re in a rural or urban environment. Walk, talk, and act with confidence.

You can legally carry a firearm in Texas. I suggest you replace the pepper spray with a snub-nosed .38 and remove the Glock “advertisement.”

You’ve got a large Boxer from what I can see in your avatar - he/she should be all the warning you need in the event of a problem.

I would imagine your husband has thoughts on this matter. Something tells me he thinks you’re paranoid too.

[/quote]

He thinks I’m paranoid sometimes but too careless other times.

My dog is a mastiff/American bulldog mix. He is fantastic.

13

[quote]PRCalDude wrote:

I think you should try to move to a better part of town. Your neighborhood doesn’t sound like it’s worth the hassle. As a general rule, if you feel like you’ll need to use your gun in a certain neighborhood, it’s a good idea to move.

Re: your Glock sticker: if your neighbors know you have guns, they’ll be more likely to break in when you’re gone. Guns are stolen a lot. Do you keep it in a safe?

[/quote]

LOL. My whole neighborhood would have been empty. Some of you sure were sheltered.

14

[quote]sluicy wrote:

He thinks I’m paranoid sometimes but too careless other times.

My dog is a mastiff/American bulldog mix. He is fantastic.[/quote]

I had a Boxer too… VERY territorial. The common thug will look for an easier house/apartment to break into.

Ya know, one without a 100 lb Mastiff mix?

15

[quote]Professor X wrote:
PRCalDude wrote:

I think you should try to move to a better part of town. Your neighborhood doesn’t sound like it’s worth the hassle. As a general rule, if you feel like you’ll need to use your gun in a certain neighborhood, it’s a good idea to move.

Re: your Glock sticker: if your neighbors know you have guns, they’ll be more likely to break in when you’re gone. Guns are stolen a lot. Do you keep it in a safe?

LOL. My whole neighborhood would have been empty. Some of you sure were sheltered.[/quote]

Yep. And I intend the same for my children.

Just out of curiosity, how many times have you been shot at?

16

[quote]PRCalDude wrote:
Professor X wrote:
PRCalDude wrote:

I think you should try to move to a better part of town. Your neighborhood doesn’t sound like it’s worth the hassle. As a general rule, if you feel like you’ll need to use your gun in a certain neighborhood, it’s a good idea to move.

Re: your Glock sticker: if your neighbors know you have guns, they’ll be more likely to break in when you’re gone. Guns are stolen a lot. Do you keep it in a safe?

LOL. My whole neighborhood would have been empty. Some of you sure were sheltered.

Yep. And I intend the same for my children.

Just out of curiosity, how many times have you been shot at?[/quote]

Once at 12 years of age.

Any more questions?

17

[quote]Professor X wrote:
PRCalDude wrote:
Professor X wrote:
PRCalDude wrote:

I think you should try to move to a better part of town. Your neighborhood doesn’t sound like it’s worth the hassle. As a general rule, if you feel like you’ll need to use your gun in a certain neighborhood, it’s a good idea to move.

Re: your Glock sticker: if your neighbors know you have guns, they’ll be more likely to break in when you’re gone. Guns are stolen a lot. Do you keep it in a safe?

LOL. My whole neighborhood would have been empty. Some of you sure were sheltered.

Yep. And I intend the same for my children.

Just out of curiosity, how many times have you been shot at?

Once at 12 years of age.

Any more questions?[/quote]

We tie! I guess we’re both equally sheltered!

18

[quote]PRCalDude wrote:
Professor X wrote:
PRCalDude wrote:
Professor X wrote:
PRCalDude wrote:

I think you should try to move to a better part of town. Your neighborhood doesn’t sound like it’s worth the hassle. As a general rule, if you feel like you’ll need to use your gun in a certain neighborhood, it’s a good idea to move.

Re: your Glock sticker: if your neighbors know you have guns, they’ll be more likely to break in when you’re gone. Guns are stolen a lot. Do you keep it in a safe?

LOL. My whole neighborhood would have been empty. Some of you sure were sheltered.

Yep. And I intend the same for my children.

Just out of curiosity, how many times have you been shot at?

Once at 12 years of age.

Any more questions?

We tie! I guess we’re both equally sheltered!

[/quote]

If I had kids, I would want them raised in the best location I could afford…but I also realize that not everyone has the financial means to live on the “best” side of town. I realize this because I wasn’t raised rich and the neighborhood I was raised in would be considered “bad” by some here.

In fact, I am very thankful at this point for growing up the way I did. Soft, whiny, over-privileged and becoming a walking target is no way to go through life.

19

agreed.

agree also, but this is also an issue of parenting. I was always told, “You have it good, be grateful.”

Anyways, sometimes it’s too easy to get under you’re skin, man! lol.

20

Just be aware. Most of the time it is your imagination running wild with what could happen rather than what is happening. Over attention (actual or percieved) on some people also can encourage unwanted attention.

Take notice of things that seem unusual and if something really spooks you call the police (not 911 unless it is an emergency) and ask for a stop/drive by.

I have lived, and still live, in some of the worst neighborhoods in the country and while I have thought bad things were going to happen more often than not it was my big brain going into overdrive.

Beer under a tree is not a lot to worry about in Dallas. Sorta like smoking crack and the occassional random gun shot in Harlem. I have the distict pleasure of being on a first name basis with the 3 drug look outs that watch the buildings next door and across the street from my palatial closet in Harlem.