Women's Fear of Random Attacks

Off Topic
41

[quote]Otep wrote:
Vicomte wrote:
SSC wrote:
I can always tell when walking around campus when a girl is suspicious. Apparently logic doesn’t appeal to them - because just maybe my class is in the same direction as hers. Unless some girl is in the middle of Englewood at two o’clock in the morning, it’s all mental.

Ha! I thought I was the only one. They glance back, then lock their head straight ahead and step up the pace a bit; if they’re wearing a skirt, they will suddenly become self-conscious and hold the hem down, like you’re going to try to disrobe them right there. It never occurs to them that you might just be taking a similar route that you’ve used for the past three years. My reaction varies between amusement and annoyed incredulity.

I like to think that I’m usually pretty sensitive to the needs and concerns of the fairer sex.

I don’t think I’ve ever detected signs of untoward caution when I’ve been walking behind some chick late at night.

That said, if Vicomte and SSC somehow are scary, either I radiate some type oif inner peace or I’m nowhere near as perceptive as I thought. Probably the latter.

Damn. Oh well. Not my problem.[/quote]

It’s cause you keep your hands in your pockets while Vicomte walks toward them with his hand stretched out ready to grab.

42

[quote]debraD wrote:

She declined the job because it required her to be downtown between 6 and 7 am and she felt it just wasn’t safe. WTF??? He agreed with her and felt this was a fine reason for her to turn down a good paying job and stay on the fucking couch.

Am I crazy??? Is this not over the top ridiculous?[/quote]

Yes it is crazy, put her ass to work.

43

[quote]sluicy wrote:
It’s cause you keep your hands in your pockets while Vicomte walks toward them with his hand stretched out ready to grab. [/quote]

At first, I was laughing really hard.

…Then I looked at Vicomte’s avatar and realized you werent kidding.

44

[quote]rrjc5488 wrote:
sluicy wrote:
It’s cause you keep your hands in your pockets while Vicomte walks toward them with his hand stretched out ready to grab.

At first, I was laughing really hard.

…Then I looked at Vicomte’s avatar and realized you werent kidding.[/quote]

Well, I don’t know 'em, that’s all I’ve got to go by. I’m still new here.

45

My wife goes for walks ant night and I worry about her. Not because I think she’ll get raped, I worry she will get run over. We have no sidewalks and she’s so damn trusting of the cars going by. I ask her “How do you KNOW they see you?” “How do you know they’re not drunk?” Yet she never looks back to make sure the headlights aren’t coming at her and she never veers to the farthest edge of the road.

I guess this is kind of an off topic rant, so sorry, but it pisses me off that she’s so trusting. As I tell my son, “Don’t worry about wearing light colors so the cars see you. Make sure you see the cars.” End rant.

46

[quote]Vicomte wrote:
SSC wrote:
I can always tell when walking around campus when a girl is suspicious. Apparently logic doesn’t appeal to them - because just maybe my class is in the same direction as hers. Unless some girl is in the middle of Englewood at two o’clock in the morning, it’s all mental.

Ha! I thought I was the only one. They glance back, then lock their head straight ahead and step up the pace a bit; if they’re wearing a skirt, they will suddenly become self-conscious and hold the hem down, like you’re going to try to disrobe them right there. It never occurs to them that you might just be taking a similar route that you’ve used for the past three years. My reaction varies between amusement and annoyed incredulity.
[/quote]

And apparently it never occurs to you that the phrase “better safe than sorry” might be going through their heads.

OP, you do seem to provide some over-the-top examples of peopel who live in unnecessary and unproductive fear, as well as examples of an attitude that could certainly be considered paternalistic (and therefore somewhat patronizing)

…but the fact is that these attitudes exist for a reason. I dont know that the other extreme, a cavalier disregard for ones own safety as well as the physical well-being of others would be any more desirable. I think the poster above me has a similar attitude - unless you have a reason to trust someone, why should you?

I completely sympathize with you in your frustration at people chastizing you (albeit with good intentions) for something that’s none of their business - probably not unlike when I’m told that squats will ruin my knees, that lifting is bad for my back, etc … I will say tho, that I’ve found it easier to deal with ever since I started smiling, saying “hmm, you may be right, I’ll have to think about htat/give it a try/whatever” and then continuing about my business. As far as being irritated that an acquaintance’s wife didnt take a job out of what you see as an irrational concern … [shrug] dunno what to tell you there, gotta let those ones roll off your back.

47

[quote]on edge wrote:
My wife goes for walks ant night and I worry about her. Not because I think she’ll get raped, I worry she will get run over. We have no sidewalks and she’s so damn trusting of the cars going by. I ask her “How do you KNOW they see you?” “How do you know they’re not drunk?” Yet she never looks back to make sure the headlights aren’t coming at her and she never veers to the farthest edge of the road.

I guess this is kind of an off topic rant, so sorry, but it pisses me off that she’s so trusting. As I tell my son, “Don’t worry about wearing light colors so the cars see you. Make sure you see the cars.” End rant.[/quote]

My mom often walks in the evening and she’ll carry a light flashlight. When she hears a car coming she’ll switch it on, and it just swings with her arm, and is very visible. Would your wife do this?

48

My wife travels a lot. I don’t worry about her too much. She also carries a S&W .357 mag. with her at all times and has been trained how to use it.

Common sense and a .357 will end most attacks but mostly it’s the .357.

49

I love wandering around at night. Very much nocturnal. But I never could quite figure out why I never ran into anyone else on my walks. You know, someone to chat with, share the open air with. Hell, even someone to tell me the time.

The few people I have seen usually speed-walk to their destination, and cross the street to not have to walk past me. I thought it’s because I’m ugly. But it turns out it’s because I’m a rapist in the making! Thanks, T-Nation!

50

[quote]on edge wrote:
My wife goes for walks ant night and I worry about her. Not because I think she’ll get raped, I worry she will get run over. We have no sidewalks and she’s so damn trusting of the cars going by. I ask her “How do you KNOW they see you?” “How do you know they’re not drunk?” Yet she never looks back to make sure the headlights aren’t coming at her and she never veers to the farthest edge of the road.

I guess this is kind of an off topic rant, so sorry, but it pisses me off that she’s so trusting. As I tell my son, “Don’t worry about wearing light colors so the cars see you. Make sure you see the cars.” End rant.[/quote]

Why dont you tell her to walk on the left side of the road? This way, she’ll be facing oncoming traffic and (God forbid) if there is a car coming her way, she’ll have a much greater chance of dodging it than if it came from behind her.

51

[quote]Court wrote:
I’ve walked alone through some pretty skeezy areas late at night… Yes, I’m sure I’ve also done the whole ‘look behind me’, pick up my pace, etc. That being said, I can walk towards some guys, be “followed” (aka they are taking the same route) by others and never once question my safety. However, I’ve learned to trust my intuition and if I get that ‘feeling’, I will definitely do my best to get myself into a safer situation.

905Patrick wrote:
I’ve never been a women and I have never been raped, but all the women I know who have been raped wish it hadn’t happened. Many of them blame themselves in some small way for getting into the situation in the first place. Your friends who are playing it safe will likely never have to come to terms with getting raped.

If you can find even one woman who was raped who wished it had happened, I will give you a million dollars.

Just some numbers for you:
1 in 6 women have been victims of rape.
Almost 75% of victims knew their rapist.

That being said, I could take all the precautions I wanted and never EVER walk alone and STILL have to come to terms with being raped. [/quote]

I was attacked and beaten and sexually assaulted by 2 men in a parking lot at night at the beach. There was a group of us at a bonfire just yards away and I was still cold so I wanted a blanket. My boyfriend was drunk and goofing around so I just went to go get my blanket. It was Mission Bay park, a well lit parking lot. I can barely remember it, or how it happened but I know my hair was grabben and I was slammed head down into the pavement. I got a bottle and hit one of them and that just pissed them off and they were beating me and yelling and that got the attention of some skateboarders who started yelling for help.

It was bad. I was blamed for everything from what I was wearing, to why did I go by myself to why wasn’t I looking.

There is nothing wrong with being cautious. There is a good book called “The Gift of Fear.” It details how due to being polite or being badass, we take stupid risks. If you are walking alone at night and you hear someone behind you, let them pass or turn around and look. Why not? Why not be the alert person and be aware. If you don’t like the looks of someone in an elevator, don’t get it.

I think folks who think they are badass because they take risks are just impressed with themselves.

I do still go to the beach. If I have to walk to my car alone, I do, I just pay attention. Paying attention and being prepared are just smart ways to live your life.

I am not saying to live the sheltered life of a hermit, but any soldier would tell you he or she pays attention to thier surroundings and act accordingly.

so… I agree with Court, live your life but don’t be stupid (paraphrasing)

52

HAHA. All these tough “T-Women.” Won’t you be upset someday when a guy weighing in at 200 (not necessarily muscular) throws and beats you to the ground…and then you realize you’re not a badass just because you do squats and post on a message board.

(There’s probably 5% of women that are exceptions to this and can actually handle themselves.)

It’s called being smart. I agree that a woman shouldn’t be overwhelmed with fear, but don’t be an idiot.

For example…I see five Crips standing on the sidewalk. Do I walk through them to prove how tough I am, or do I avoid them by crossing the street?..I’d avoid them.

53

OctoberGirl hit the nail on the head, ladies.

54

[quote]theOUTLAW wrote:
HAHA. All these tough “T-Women.” Won’t you be upset someday when a guy weighing in at 200 (not necessarily muscular) throws and beats you to the ground…and then you realize you’re not a badass just because you do squats and post on a message board.

(There’s probably 5% of women that are exceptions to this and can actually handle themselves.)

It’s called being smart. I agree that a woman shouldn’t be overwhelmed with fear, but don’t be an idiot.

For example…I see five Crips standing on the sidewalk. Do I walk through them to prove how tough I am, or do I avoid them by crossing the street?..I’d avoid them.[/quote]

What women said, or acted like they were badasses on here?

55

I sure would like to know how walking to and from work and running alone equates to one thinking she’s a badass. Seriously, that is absurd.

56

[quote]debraD wrote:
I sure would like to know how walking to and from work and running alone equates to one thinking she’s a badass. Seriously, that is absurd.[/quote]

Hey, I mean if you live in a nice neighborhood where everyone knows everybody…fine. Walking or running at night by yourself though?..

The whole tone of the thread reeks of “badass” and stupidity. “These women are scared…I don’t care…I run by myself…I’m tough. Yeah. Me too! I’m not going to let a man following me bother me…Only a guy who knows me will rape me…I can’t prevent it from happening anyways…” All the women on here think they’re badass (Again, the 5% exception applies here). All because of a message board.

If this doesn’t satisfy you…take the whole badass thing out of what I said, and everything else still stands.

57

[quote]imhungry wrote:
theOUTLAW wrote:
HAHA. All these tough “T-Women.” Won’t you be upset someday when a guy weighing in at 200 (not necessarily muscular) throws and beats you to the ground…and then you realize you’re not a badass just because you do squats and post on a message board.

(There’s probably 5% of women that are exceptions to this and can actually handle themselves.)

It’s called being smart. I agree that a woman shouldn’t be overwhelmed with fear, but don’t be an idiot.

For example…I see five Crips standing on the sidewalk. Do I walk through them to prove how tough I am, or do I avoid them by crossing the street?..I’d avoid them.

What women said, or acted like they were badasses on here?[/quote]

Trust me…women are better in real life. Step away from the computer.

58

[quote]theOUTLAW wrote:
debraD wrote:
I sure would like to know how walking to and from work and running alone equates to one thinking she’s a badass. Seriously, that is absurd.

Hey, I mean if you live in a nice neighborhood where everyone knows everybody…fine. Walking or running at night by yourself though?..

The whole tone of the thread reeks of “badass” and stupidity. “These women are scared…I don’t care…I run by myself…I’m tough. Yeah. Me too! I’m not going to let a man following me bother me…Only a guy who knows me will rape me…I can’t prevent it from happening anyways…” All the women on here think they’re badass (Again, the 5% exception applies here). All because of a message board.

If this doesn’t satisfy you…take the whole badass thing out of what I said, and everything else still stands.

[/quote]

Still not sure where this is coming from. Are you sure you aren’t colouring this with your own perceptions?

Are you saying that because there is a chance that some 200lb man can beat us down we should treat every man as having the potential to do that? Do you agree then that we should fear and avoid you all? If that’s the case I feel sad for all the men.

59

[quote]rrjc5488 wrote:
sluicy wrote:
It’s cause you keep your hands in your pockets while Vicomte walks toward them with his hand stretched out ready to grab.

At first, I was laughing really hard.

…Then I looked at Vicomte’s avatar and realized you werent kidding.[/quote]

I’m actually begging for money.

Nothing sinister, just good ol’ fashioned mooching, is all.

60

[quote]theOUTLAW wrote:

Trust me…women are better in real life. Step away from the computer.[/quote]

ROFLMAO @ the irony of this advice.