[quote]jbpick86 wrote:
But if you live life so afraid of the bad shit that you dodge the possible good, then you aren’t living, you are merely existing and are nothing more than a sad shell of a human being. [/quote]
/thread x 3
[quote]jbpick86 wrote:
[quote]Mr. Walkway wrote:
[quote]usmccds423 wrote:
[quote]Mr. Walkway wrote:
[quote]usmccds423 wrote:
[quote]therajraj wrote:
By getting married, men are also forced to muzzle their primal desire of sexual variety.
[/quote]
No, they are not forced to do anything. Marriage is voluntary in these here United States. [/quote]
he said ‘by getting married’… so it’s in the marriage context.
thanks again for your dimwitted contribution lmao[/quote]
Lol, might want to look in the mirror pal. [/quote]
nice comeback, bro.[/quote]
Walkaway and Raj, How are men forced to muzzle their primal desires for sexual variety? By getting married?? Instead of the word “forced” why not use the phrase “decided that developing a meaningful emotional attachment is worth it to them” to muzzle their primal desire to for sexual variety. I still have those urges occasionally, despite my wife being hot as hell, even with random girls I see that when compared would not hold a candle to her looks wise. I am sure my wife has the same urges, although probably not as frequently.
Thing is, I love her, I wanted to be devoted to her, I believe fully and without reservation that she will be fully devoted to me for the rest of our lives. If you cant say that then you should not marry a person. Granted shit happens people cheat, men and women, and sometimes lines get crossed that cant be returned from. But if you live life so afraid of the bad shit that you dodge the possible good, then you aren’t living, you are merely existing and are nothing more than a sad shell of a human being. [/quote]
well, I never said that men are forced to muzzle their primal desires for sexual variety, I was just correcting usmccs on his nonsense… so ill let raj answer this.
[quote]jbpick86 wrote:
Walkaway and Raj, How are men forced to muzzle their primal desires for sexual variety? By getting married?? Instead of the word “forced” why not use the phrase “decided that developing a meaningful emotional attachment is worth it to them” to muzzle their primal desire to for sexual variety. [/quote]
Lets not get hung up on wording, you know what I mean. By getting married they sacrifice their desire for sexual variety.
[quote]jbpick86 wrote:
I still have those urges occasionally, despite my wife being hot as hell, even with random girls I see that when compared would not hold a candle to her looks wise. I am sure my wife has the same urges, although probably not as frequently.[/quote]
Your profile says you’re 28. Wait until you’re older and your wife who is presumably close to your age is no longer hot as hell and you’ve been banging her for decades. This is not a slight on her we all age and grow old.
You should see the look on late 30’s early 40’s married men in my office when a hot girl is present. They’re almost exercising herculean levels of restraint around her.
[quote]jbpick86 wrote:
Thing is, I love her, I wanted to be devoted to her, I believe fully and without reservation that she will be fully devoted to me for the rest of our lives. If you cant say that then you should not marry a person. Granted shit happens people cheat, men and women, and sometimes lines get crossed that cant be returned from. But if you live life so afraid of the bad shit that you dodge the possible good, then you aren’t living, you are merely existing and are nothing more than a sad shell of a human being. [/quote]
This is all well and good. I’m not betting against you but as a man that desire for variety will NEVER fade.
When you’re 40 and presumably your wife is also 40 and there’s a hot 30 year old who wants to bang your brains out, you think things won’t be different?
[quote]jbpick86 wrote:
But if you live life so afraid of the bad shit that you dodge the possible good, then you aren’t living, you are merely existing and are nothing more than a sad shell of a human being. [/quote]
Again - I ask, what about this can be not be achieved through cohabitation? I’m not against LTRs
[quote]LoRez wrote:
[quote]Mr. Walkway wrote:
[quote]OldOgre wrote:
Brief and simplified version of my advice: 1-Be a man. 2-Love your woman. 3-Treat her like a lady. 4-Respect her. 5-Understand and accept that she is too good for you, that you are lucky to have her and that you should do anything that you have to do to make her happy. [/quote]
what if she isn’t a lady and therefore isn’t respectable?[/quote]
Then don’t marry her.
But also, ladies aren’t born, they’re made. Same thing goes for gentlemen. While I think speaking in terms of “ladies and gentlemen” sounds a bit ridiculous, being “civilized” isn’t something that just happens.
Personally, in addition to her parents, I think a man has a certain responsibility to make sure his lady is actually ladylike. And I think the woman has a similar role towards her guy.
If you just let her act out and behave however, you’re just enabling the behavior. It’s not your role to be her father, but it is important she knows what is and isn’t acceptable to you. (Again, this goes both ways.)[/quote]
I believe that ladies are created primarily by the way they are raised. My wife was raised in a Godly home by two good people. My mother-in-law is the epitome of a Southern Belle and my wife is a mirror image of her. My father-in-law is a gentleman of the highest order and treats his wife with honor and respect. My wife was raised in this environment. She was a lady before she ever met me. The way that I treat her simply brings out and accentuates what is already there.
[quote]therajraj wrote:
This is all well and good. I’m not betting against you but as a man that desire for variety will NEVER fade.
When you’re 40 and presumably your wife is also 40 and there’s a hot 30 year old who wants to bang your brains out, you think things won’t be different?
[/quote]
I think what you call variety is more properly called novelty and is related to the drive that causes a man to cross a body of water not knowing what’s beyond the horizon. Novelty-seeking behavior is a very strong drive in many men.
If you look at men who were faithful to their wives, but then began to cheat, it’s further along in the marriage eg the 7 year itch. It’s could be because for some period of time, sex with their wife was no longer novel. Men look for novelty (variety) when things get boring at home.
Find a woman who is sexually adventurous and who values sex as much as you do and you will be surprised at how easy it is to not seek novelty (variety) because you’re getting it at home.
What I meant to say is that if you’re woman is fucking you six ways from Sunday and in keeping things interesting, you’re a lot less likely to cheat.
[quote]therajraj wrote:
[quote]jbpick86 wrote:
But if you live life so afraid of the bad shit that you dodge the possible good, then you aren’t living, you are merely existing and are nothing more than a sad shell of a human being. [/quote]
Again - I ask, what about this can be not be achieved through cohabitation? I’m not against LTRs[/quote]
Stable home for children for one. If two people are not bound and promised to be loyal to one another for life (which you could do with cohabitation, but if you are serious about it then why not just get married for the tax breaks as well) then they should not reproduce.
[quote]therajraj wrote:
[quote]jbpick86 wrote:
Walkaway and Raj, How are men forced to muzzle their primal desires for sexual variety? By getting married?? Instead of the word “forced” why not use the phrase “decided that developing a meaningful emotional attachment is worth it to them” to muzzle their primal desire to for sexual variety. [/quote]
Lets not get hung up on wording, you know what I mean. By getting married they sacrifice their desire for sexual variety.
[quote]jbpick86 wrote:
I still have those urges occasionally, despite my wife being hot as hell, even with random girls I see that when compared would not hold a candle to her looks wise. I am sure my wife has the same urges, although probably not as frequently.[/quote]
Your profile says you’re 28. Wait until you’re older and your wife who is presumably close to your age is no longer hot as hell and you’ve been banging her for decades. This is not a slight on her we all age and grow old.
You should see the look on late 30’s early 40’s married men in my office when a hot girl is present. They’re almost exercising herculean levels of restraint around her.
[quote]jbpick86 wrote:
Thing is, I love her, I wanted to be devoted to her, I believe fully and without reservation that she will be fully devoted to me for the rest of our lives. If you cant say that then you should not marry a person. Granted shit happens people cheat, men and women, and sometimes lines get crossed that cant be returned from. But if you live life so afraid of the bad shit that you dodge the possible good, then you aren’t living, you are merely existing and are nothing more than a sad shell of a human being. [/quote]
This is all well and good. I’m not betting against you but as a man that desire for variety will NEVER fade.
When you’re 40 and presumably your wife is also 40 and there’s a hot 30 year old who wants to bang your brains out, you think things won’t be different?
[/quote]
Not saying that I expect it to fade anymore than I expect my desire for sex period to fade. And I am pretty sure that the desire for variety is not strictly a male thing. How many women do you hear say that they feel like they are in a rut with their relationships? That’s because they are tired of the same old life that their partner keeps providing. Novelty in a relationship is a good thing. I have been married for nearly 4 years, together with my wife for 7. It doesn’t take long for the shine to wear off the new penny, especially after you watch her endure childbirth. However, as a man I also should be able to control my impulses, men who are so impulsive as to cheat are painfully immature and lack that control. Sometimes cheating is nothing more than needing your ego stroked as much as it is about sex. That’s nothing more than a man being a whiny bitch because he tied his sense of self-worth to his cock.
[quote]therajraj wrote:
[quote]jbpick86 wrote:
Walkaway and Raj, How are men forced to muzzle their primal desires for sexual variety? By getting married?? Instead of the word “forced” why not use the phrase “decided that developing a meaningful emotional attachment is worth it to them” to muzzle their primal desire to for sexual variety. [/quote]
Lets not get hung up on wording, you know what I mean. By getting married they sacrifice their desire for sexual variety.
[quote]jbpick86 wrote:
I still have those urges occasionally, despite my wife being hot as hell, even with random girls I see that when compared would not hold a candle to her looks wise. I am sure my wife has the same urges, although probably not as frequently.[/quote]
Your profile says you’re 28. Wait until you’re older and your wife who is presumably close to your age is no longer hot as hell and you’ve been banging her for decades. This is not a slight on her we all age and grow old.
You should see the look on late 30’s early 40’s married men in my office when a hot girl is present. They’re almost exercising herculean levels of restraint around her.
[quote]jbpick86 wrote:
Thing is, I love her, I wanted to be devoted to her, I believe fully and without reservation that she will be fully devoted to me for the rest of our lives. If you cant say that then you should not marry a person. Granted shit happens people cheat, men and women, and sometimes lines get crossed that cant be returned from. But if you live life so afraid of the bad shit that you dodge the possible good, then you aren’t living, you are merely existing and are nothing more than a sad shell of a human being. [/quote]
This is all well and good. I’m not betting against you but as a man that desire for variety will NEVER fade.
When you’re 40 and presumably your wife is also 40 and there’s a hot 30 year old who wants to bang your brains out, you think things won’t be different?
[/quote]
You seem to be advocating a kind of harem-based society where men take many women while still expecting pair-bonding from said women. Am I reading into this correctly, or am I pairing too much of Walkaway’s thoughts with your posts?
Would you be alright with your woman seeking out sexual partners that are not you because she also desires the variety?
Okay, I’m going to restate my views to make myself clearer.
Unless you want to have children it is not in your best interest as a man to get married. If you intend to never reproduce, it is better for you to cohabitate instead and allow yourself a clean way to break away from your partner if you become dissatisfied.
As for sexual variety/novelty that desire is ever-present in men whether they are happy with their SO or not at least to some degree. (side note: ask yourselves happily married guys, if you could bend over that cute Starbucks barista for a quick romp guilt free wouldn’t you be happier?) While this desire exists in women, in my opinion it has more to do with dissatisfaction with their current partner than a need for variety in general that it is for men. Women are more focused on extracting commitment from a quality guy.
The 40 year old with the 40 year old wife will have a much stronger desire for variety than the 28 year old banging his hot 20 something wife.
Anyways, I’m not advocating harems or anything lol. Simply saying, it’s a bad idea to throw away your options completely via marriage unless it’s for the sake of children.
[quote]Mr. Walkway wrote:
prenups don’t work… at least for men[/quote]
You keep saying this, but don’t explain what you mean, and I suspect you are just talking out your ass anyway.
Prenups generally “work” the same way most regular contracts work, subject to regular contract defenses. Whether a prenup “works” depends on a state’s law, the way the prenup is drafted, the individual circumstances of the parties, and what you mean by “work.” I can tell you that a rich man who enters a marriage with a poor woman with a well drafted prenup that is tailored to the specific circumstances of the parties is generally holding a fucking hammer in most states and in most circumstances when it comes to a property division, even if the division would otherwise be grossly out of line with a division that would occur without the agreement.
That said, you can’t generally use a prenup, for example, to fuck kids out of child support, because kids are not parties to the contract, and as a matter of public policy. So if you are trying to fuck a kid out of child support with a contact the kid didn’t sign and potentially trying to make the state pay for your kid, then, yah, it probably won’t “work.”
Radically changed, unanticipated post-marriage circumstances might also reduce the effectiveness of a prenup merely because it is difficult to draft a document that covers all unforeseen circumstances. Just like any other contract, unforeseen circumstances present special drafting problems. That’s life.
And it wouldn’t surprise me if a prenup is useless in CA, because its CA. But that’s your choice for living and marrying in CA, i.e., just living in CA carries its own special set of risks and problems.
[quote]jbpick86 wrote:
However, as a man I also should be able to control my impulses, men who are so impulsive as to cheat are painfully immature and lack that control. Sometimes cheating is nothing more than needing your ego stroked as much as it is about sex. That’s nothing more than a man being a whiny bitch because he tied his sense of self-worth to his cock. [/quote]
I’m not advocating cheating. But why shut your options down completely if there are no kids involved? After a while you may find your sexual happiness dwindling, so why make it difficult to chase a better option if that becomes available?
I fully agree that if kids are involved you should be faithful to one another.
[quote]StevenF wrote:
This can all be avoided by not marrying a shitty person and not being a shitty person yourself. People usually don’t just turn into pieces of shit, they either are or they aren’t. Don’t marry a piece of shit and the chances of getting fucked are a lot lower. [/quote]
That’s a good point
[quote]comus3 wrote:
[quote]StevenF wrote:
This can all be avoided by not marrying a shitty person and not being a shitty person yourself. People usually don’t just turn into pieces of shit, they either are or they aren’t. Don’t marry a piece of shit and the chances of getting fucked are a lot lower. [/quote]
That’s a good point[/quote]
I don’t want to harp on this but if you are emotionally healthy, experienced with a variety of people, confident in yourself and trust your gut you stand a much better chance of not making a bad choice. If you don’t have your shit together you are probably going to make a bad choice. Marriage or not.
[quote]red04 wrote:
You seem to be advocating a kind of harem-based society where men take many women while still expecting pair-bonding from said women. Am I reading into this correctly, or am I pairing too much of Walkaway’s thoughts with your posts?
[/quote]
nice strawman
[quote]jjackkrash wrote:
[quote]Mr. Walkway wrote:
prenups don’t work… at least for men[/quote]
You keep saying this, but don’t explain what you mean, and I suspect you are just talking out your ass anyway.
Prenups generally “work” the same way most regular contracts work, subject to regular contract defenses. Whether a prenup “works” depends on a state’s law, the way the prenup is drafted, the individual circumstances of the parties, and what you mean by “work.” I can tell you that a rich man who enters a marriage with a poor woman with a well drafted prenup that is tailored to the specific circumstances of the parties is generally holding a fucking hammer in most states and in most circumstances when it comes to a property division, even if the division would otherwise be grossly out of line with a division that would occur without the agreement.
That said, you can’t generally use a prenup, for example, to fuck kids out of child support, because kids are not parties to the contract, and as a matter of public policy. So if you are trying to fuck a kid out of child support with a contact the kid didn’t sign and potentially trying to make the state pay for your kid, then, yah, it probably won’t “work.”
Radically changed, unanticipated post-marriage circumstances might also reduce the effectiveness of a prenup merely because it is difficult to draft a document that covers all unforeseen circumstances. Just like any other contract, unforeseen circumstances present special drafting problems. That’s life.
And it wouldn’t surprise me if a prenup is useless in CA, because its CA. But that’s your choice for living and marrying in CA, i.e., just living in CA carries its own special set of risks and problems.
[/quote]
any lawyer worth his salt can cut straight through a prenuptial agreement initiated by the man… that’s why they are paid the big bucks.
they are thrown out all the time. all the lawyers have to do is say that the wife was under ‘mental stress’ when she signed it and then poof voided.
The reasons men get married are all pretty obvious. The real question is why do men continue to allow feminist policy to dominate in divorce court. Governments are all pussy whipped. 
[quote]Broncoandy wrote:
The reasons men get married are all pretty obvious. The real question is why do men continue to allow feminist policy to dominate in divorce court. Governments are all pussy whipped. :p[/quote]
- It’s not bad enough to warrant effort
- basically it smacks of effort
- men, like most other humans, have a hard time giving at shit about something until it effects them and then it’s too late
Seriously there is so much armchair bitching from guys about this shit but that’ll be the day we see a March or a protest or any kind of activism or something.
Edit: not to sound callous or dismissive… I can see how fighting for divorce rights while not yet divorced would probably not be seen in a favourable or positive light. Hey honey, Saturday I’m going to a sit in for better divorce rights for dudes, see you at dinner!