Why Can't Spock Get Men?

Off Topic
101

[quote]VTPower wrote:

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:

She is an attractive healthy woman, which starts a cascade of assumptions ala the halo effect. Some would be that she’s smart (she does look smart, no neck tats!), is already taken, has better things to do, wouldn’t be interested, etc. Granted, those are my assumptions, but a lot of people do the something similar at least to the extent that it is a well documented phenomenon.
[/quote]

These is a good point. For women like this (read: Spock) sometimes they need to be a little flirty to have men sure that they’re available. Shyness doesn’t work if you look pretty, intelligent, driven, etc. Less assertive men might assume you’re taken or not interested in a cold approach. It would take a man with a definite amount of confidence to approach, and not all men like the cold approach, believe it or not. None of the dates I’ve ever gotten have been with a cold approach that I can recall. Just not my style.[/quote]

This is exactly why I wanted SkyzykS to elaborate :).

Shyness CAN work, and I’m a believer that nobody should try to be somebody that they are not just to get a girl/guy anyways. But there is a line between expanding/exploring/pushing yourself (like in the gym, but in other areas of your personal life) and trying to become somebody you really are not. But you and Skyz are both right–The assumptions “already taken, or she wouldn’t be interested” are ones guys get a lot from shyness and quiet. Especially with a classic (and classy) natural beauty like Spock.

I wouldn’t call it “cold” really, just shy. Usually if people are actually cold they’re not interested in you and generally bitches. But I know what you were getting at.

102

[quote]Spock81 wrote:
WHeewwwwwwwwwfff!!!

I am honestly feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the advice, but I do really appreciate it and think it will be useful.

I think that my wardrobe could use a good makeover as when I buy clothes I often forget that I am not 150lbs anymore.
I dress like a fat person and that need to change.
But sometimes I wonder if everything really needs to be so complicated? I know lots of girls who are plain jane types and they have boyfriends.
I know lots of fairly unattractive people who get laid.
I know lots of annoying and/or bitchy people who are married or who go from boyfriend to boyfriend without ever getting rejected.
Why should I have to do 10000 million different things just to get a boy to notice me once in a while? It doesn’t add up.

I know that I don’t act very womanly (I never feel womanly), and I think that’s an issue, but I am honestly not really interested in womanly things.
Forcing myself to socialize with snotty women from my kids school makes me want to vomit. I am not like them in any way.
All the women around me I simply cannot relate to. Maybe it’s because it’s such a rich area that I live in, I dunno, but I find it difficult to view myself as a ‘woman’ instead of a ‘chick’.
If that’s how I have to act to be a woman then I don’t want no part of it.

I dunno, I don’t deny that I have lots to work on and improve, but it should be simpler.
[/quote]

  1. I hate rich people. Ok, I don’t, but I hate the “blue blood” attitude and the snotty shit, so I get what you are saying in the general sense. I don’t relate well to snotty rich guys and I don’t relate well to the “stereotypical” guy who is really a fucking retard with nothing to offer in conversation. But, the news is you don’t have to hang around them all–just getting out in different social circles gets you practice at your skills. Best thing I ever did was work at a bar: It taught me how to interact with all the social circles I hated and avoided in real life, and as a result my social “tool set” got tons bigger even though it was uncomfortable. I’m not suggesting changing your job btw, just sharing a story from my life.

So I’m not saying, throw yourself to the rich snotty women wolves whole sale. It does have uses to push your social circle. You also find some gems in the crap heap: one of my friends is an oil baron’s daughter…as in, she knows Phil Baron, the guy the term “oil baron” was named after. Goes to his family reunions, has dinner at his mansion, etc. Nobody knows this because she wears cheap Levis, shops Walmart, hunts, and generally just acts normal. I’d known her over a year when I learned she was connected.

No point really, except to say that there are still those rare awesome people in all different circles, and they’re worth looking for even if you don’t stay near the rest of the snotty circle.

  1. Regarding unattractive people getting laid—they often do it by completely throwing their self-worth out the door. And that’s total crap, and I’m glad you haven’t gone that route. You are worth way more than that. The attractive bitchy girls that can’t keep men are going from guy to guy because we’re sick of putting up with their shit. First impressions are sometimes off, or they are faked–bitchy girls are really REALLY good at hiding how bitchy they are in the first few stages and also generally have flirting down well. This means the guy only sees the attractive side and doesn’t realize what he’s gotten into…and that’s also why they suffer rejection after rejection, it’s just later on not at the outset.
103

[quote]Melvin Smiley wrote:

I don’t think you need to do 1000 million different things, we’ve just given you that many ideas. Pick a couple you’re comfortable with and let it fly. It’s easier said than done I know, but once you build some confidence and a little momentum it’ll take right off.[/quote]

Bingo. Rest of your post is awesome too, but this is it. Just pick 1 or 2 things to work on for a while, just like in the gym. “ok, going to work on arching my back in the squat, and knees out. That’s it”. 1-2 things done for a while leads to another couple 1-2 things learned, leads to a chain reaction.

104

Sooooo, I have looked up her log, do highly recommend.

Its my new go to source for all things Sailormoon, Pokemon, the adventures of Sir Gruntsalot and intermittent pics of a girl in what seems to be yoga pants.

105

“daddy, what does it mean to be white knighted”?

dad pulls up this thread and shows son

106

[quote]carbiduis wrote:
“daddy, what does it mean to be white knighted”?

dad pulls up this thread and shows son[/quote]

You think that is white knighting?

107

[quote]orion wrote:
Sooooo, I have looked up her log, do highly recommend.

Its my new go to source for all things Sailormoon, Pokemon, the adventures of Sir Gruntsalot and intermittent pics of a girl in what seems to be yoga pants. [/quote]

Can’t seem to find it…

108

[quote]carbiduis wrote:
“daddy, what does it mean to be white knighted”?

dad pulls up this thread and shows son[/quote]
Son becomes misinformed and confused lol. Did this happen to you?

109

[quote]carbiduis wrote:
“daddy, what does it mean to be white knighted”?

dad pulls up this thread and shows son[/quote]
Show us the way of the superior man lol.

110

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]carbiduis wrote:
“daddy, what does it mean to be white knighted”?

dad pulls up this thread and shows son[/quote]
Son becomes misinformed and confused lol. Did this happen to you?[/quote]

yes, clearly I was so off base that you didn’t even feel the need to acknowledge it.

denial

111

[quote]spar4tee wrote:

[quote]carbiduis wrote:
“daddy, what does it mean to be white knighted”?

dad pulls up this thread and shows son[/quote]
Show us the way of the superior man lol.[/quote]

I’ll show you the way but you’ll never realize it…cause I won’t be here in this thread participating

112

[quote]ZJStrope wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:
Sooooo, I have looked up her log, do highly recommend.

Its my new go to source for all things Sailormoon, Pokemon, the adventures of Sir Gruntsalot and intermittent pics of a girl in what seems to be yoga pants. [/quote]

Can’t seem to find it…[/quote]
http://tnation.T-Nation.com/free_online_forum/blog_sports_body_training_performance_bodybuilding_log/good_morning_dr_silberman_hows_the_knee

Oh btw Jenn, you have no idea how coincidental your log title is for my current situation.

113

[quote]spar4tee wrote:

[quote]ZJStrope wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:
Sooooo, I have looked up her log, do highly recommend.

Its my new go to source for all things Sailormoon, Pokemon, the adventures of Sir Gruntsalot and intermittent pics of a girl in what seems to be yoga pants. [/quote]

Can’t seem to find it…[/quote]

Oh btw Jenn, you have no idea how coincidental your log title is for my current situation.[/quote]

Why? Are you trapped in an insane asylum because you were rambling on and on about robots coming from the future/destroying the human race???

114

[quote]carbiduis wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]carbiduis wrote:
“daddy, what does it mean to be white knighted”?

dad pulls up this thread and shows son[/quote]
Son becomes misinformed and confused lol. Did this happen to you?[/quote]

yes, clearly I was so off base that you didn’t even feel the need to acknowledge it.

denial[/quote]
That doesn’t make any sense, but regardless…
Look man I’m like TNation’s resident white knight, and I just want you to know you are misusing the term. You must have dropped out of 4chan 101 or something. Do your homework; learn the internet!

115

Jenn, sister in law has Navi as her text. They are like the perfect geek couple. It can happen lol In fact, if you were in the US living in Virginia/Maryland area where they live, I’m sure they would have a lot of nice guys for you to meet.

116

[quote]Spock81 wrote:

[quote]spar4tee wrote:

[quote]ZJStrope wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:
Sooooo, I have looked up her log, do highly recommend.

Its my new go to source for all things Sailormoon, Pokemon, the adventures of Sir Gruntsalot and intermittent pics of a girl in what seems to be yoga pants. [/quote]

Can’t seem to find it…[/quote]

Oh btw Jenn, you have no idea how coincidental your log title is for my current situation.[/quote]

Why? Are you trapped in an insane asylum because you were rambling on and on about robots coming from the future/destroying the human race???[/quote]
Man, they already started by taking out my knee. My healing factor ain’t working right. I won’t be able to fight.

117

[quote]carbiduis wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]carbiduis wrote:
“daddy, what does it mean to be white knighted”?

dad pulls up this thread and shows son[/quote]
Son becomes misinformed and confused lol. Did this happen to you?[/quote]

yes, clearly I was so off base that you didn’t even feel the need to acknowledge it.

denial[/quote]

if you need to classify it, it would be a mild form of internet beta orbiting.

118

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]carbiduis wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]carbiduis wrote:
“daddy, what does it mean to be white knighted”?

dad pulls up this thread and shows son[/quote]
Son becomes misinformed and confused lol. Did this happen to you?[/quote]

yes, clearly I was so off base that you didn’t even feel the need to acknowledge it.

denial[/quote]

if you need to classify it, it would be a mild form of internet beta orbiting. [/quote]
Even then, given what is essentially a misc forum convention, you go where the traffic. Even Carbodillydad is conformist to that to a degree.

119

[quote]Aragorn wrote:

[quote]VTPower wrote:

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:

She is an attractive healthy woman, which starts a cascade of assumptions ala the halo effect. Some would be that she’s smart (she does look smart, no neck tats!), is already taken, has better things to do, wouldn’t be interested, etc. Granted, those are my assumptions, but a lot of people do the something similar at least to the extent that it is a well documented phenomenon.
[/quote]

These is a good point. For women like this (read: Spock) sometimes they need to be a little flirty to have men sure that they’re available. Shyness doesn’t work if you look pretty, intelligent, driven, etc. Less assertive men might assume you’re taken or not interested in a cold approach. It would take a man with a definite amount of confidence to approach, and not all men like the cold approach, believe it or not. None of the dates I’ve ever gotten have been with a cold approach that I can recall. Just not my style.[/quote]

This is exactly why I wanted SkyzykS to elaborate :).

Shyness CAN work, and I’m a believer that nobody should try to be somebody that they are not just to get a girl/guy anyways. But there is a line between expanding/exploring/pushing yourself (like in the gym, but in other areas of your personal life) and trying to become somebody you really are not. But you and Skyz are both right–The assumptions “already taken, or she wouldn’t be interested” are ones guys get a lot from shyness and quiet. Especially with a classic (and classy) natural beauty like Spock.

I wouldn’t call it “cold” really, just shy. Usually if people are actually cold they’re not interested in you and generally bitches. But I know what you were getting at.[/quote]

I didn’t mean for that to be taken as her personality being cold. I meant that the approach of walking up to a compete stranger is a “cold” approach. Not many people can naturally do that very well.

Personally, I like the quiet, slightly shy, understated women. They seem to know how to relate, flirt, and carry a conversation.

The ones with all of the bells and whistles (glittery boobs, fake tan, obvious tramp stamp) just scream problematic and in some ways lazy. I always think of one woman in particular for this- She was the typical super hot, shaking it in your face to make sure you know she had it type. Loved getting as much attention as any number of guys could throw at her and would even start fights just to bathe in the spectacle of it.

Skip to today, we’re in our 40’s and it’s a whole different ballgame. Now her flirtation style just comes off as vulgar and dated, and she didn’t bother shoring up her personality with anything of substance when she should have.

One think that stood out on the last page was the not seeing herself as a woman, but a chick, combined with having previously been chubby. Put those together and you have a chubby chick. Same principal as the guy who is now grown up and in good condition but still views and carries himself as a fat kid. The interior doesn’t match the exterior.

120

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]carbiduis wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]carbiduis wrote:
“daddy, what does it mean to be white knighted”?

dad pulls up this thread and shows son[/quote]
Son becomes misinformed and confused lol. Did this happen to you?[/quote]

yes, clearly I was so off base that you didn’t even feel the need to acknowledge it.

denial[/quote]

if you need to classify it, it would be a mild form of internet beta orbiting. [/quote]

I don’t know, beyond people saying that Spock is plenty pretty enough to interest men, which she certainly is, the thread has seemed pretty honest about acknowledging that there must be an issue and trying to identify it to help her.

“You obviously have an issue” isn’t what I usually think of as flattery.