Why Can't Spock Get Men?

Off Topic
81

[quote]Claudan wrote:
fact, every guy wishes he had a hot+nerdy girlfriend.

non-nerdy gfs are uber annoying, imo.[/quote]

I’ve had one. Its not all its cracked up to be.

Truly nerdy girls have all the problem male nerds do. They are neurotic, awkward and often very passive-aggressive - which I hate more than anything.

Secondly, shes always got a network of guys. My experience is really hot chicks know that men and women mostly cannot be friends so when shes with someone, she cuts contact down to a minimum with other men. With a nerdy girl, shes got a network of nerdy dudes who are grovel at her feet just to get a whiff of her pussy, so you will always be dealing with passive aggressive fuckheads trying to sabotage your relationship.

I’m not sure what the fascination is with having a nerdy gf, perhaps because they appear submissive on the surface?

They still do girl shit period.

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Weird coincidence. I recently became friends with some “nerdy” girls, very pretty, very nice people, and they have no problem meeting guys or having guys chase them (maybe not openly). Probably because of the guys they are around - they play games and like zombies and comics, and are surrounded by “nerdy” guys. If that’s your thing, if you are interested in guys who share comic-con interests, chances are somewhat good that the ones you may be interested in are pretty shy and won’t make a move.

It happens though. The girl I met with - I left to use the bathroom, came back up and a random guy was asking her to dinner - at a goddamn gaming store.

Not sure what kind of guy you are looking for though. You can make somewhat accurate generalizations about certain subcultures, and maybe should proceed accordingly. For example, having lurked on TNation for years, seems to me that the posters here like confident, strong, purpose-filled women. Comic-con guys are, at the very least, shy around the opposite sex and would appreciate someone else making the first (non-threatening) move.

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[quote]Aussie Davo wrote:

[quote]Claudan wrote:
fact, every guy wishes he had a hot+nerdy girlfriend.

non-nerdy gfs are uber annoying, imo.[/quote]

I’ve had one. Its not all its cracked up to be.

Truly nerdy girls have all the problem male nerds do. They are neurotic, awkward and often very passive-aggressive - which I hate more than anything.

Secondly, shes always got a network of guys. My experience is really hot chicks know that men and women mostly cannot be friends so when shes with someone, she cuts contact down to a minimum with other men. With a nerdy girl, shes got a network of nerdy dudes who are grovel at her feet just to get a whiff of her pussy, so you will always be dealing with passive aggressive fuckheads trying to sabotage your relationship.

I’m not sure what the fascination is with having a nerdy gf, perhaps because they appear submissive on the surface?

They still do girl shit period.[/quote]
I agree with aussie davo. I have dated many nerdy chicks. they are often horny and low maintenance but then turn around and act like passive-aggressive princess bitches. and they don’t usually appreciate a guy loving the gym. I guess the bad slightly outweighs the good

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@Spock

koanicsoul (dot) (com) /blog/reading-faces-the-eyes-are-the-windows-to-the-soul/

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I tried to masturbate to Loki once. It took so long to cum my penis got Thor.

Ok. I’ll get my coat

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[quote]Spock81 wrote:
Oh and here’s a bit of a back story to explain my life situation a bit:

A few years ago I was living on my own in an apartment while working/going to school.
I did not need to drive because everything was literally a 10 min walk from my house, perfect right?

Well life was pretty awesome, but I was busy every day and almost never saw my kid (he was with my parents when i worked or during school time).

I could see him every free moment, but that all changed once he started going to school.
I worked weekends and evenings and went to school in the evenings and it was starting to really get to me.

Then summer holiday’s came and we spent TONS of time together and I felt so much better, but school was going to be starting up again and I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t have my parents continue to raise my own kid. So I told him he was going to be changing schools and he was going to live with me and not stay at my parents place anymore.

Well needless to say it broke his heart that he had to change schools. He wouldn’t talk to me for days and the guilt was tearing me up inside. I also felt guilty for not being there enough over the years so on like August. 30th I decided to move back in with my parents and now I’m kinda stuck there. I want to find a place to live here, but like I said, it’s crazy expensive. Twice what I would pay for an apartment in edmonton. It’s something that I am working towards, but honestly this is just where I am at right now whether I like it or not.

I still think I’m a good person and deserve to find a man regardless of my shitty life situation. [/quote]

There are many people in this situation, I don’t think it’s too shitty, you could use the opportunity of living at your 'rents to save up, try to get a deposit for somewhere of your own, if that is possible?

The single mom thing is a non issue unless you make it one IMO, my other half has two kids, it was a pretty steep learning curve, especially with me being a lot younger than her but it’s not a turn off nor is it too difficult to accept.

87

Yo Spock, you like sci fi!? :smiley:

So your the one who says she doesn’t know how to have sex, but you have a kid? LOLOL You’re funny too!

Your confidence in the gym belongs everywhere in your life. That endeavor to become a fitness model is a type of energy that you should allow people to see and take part in. If it’s a passion of yours then whoever you get involved with should hopefully be supportive and get a kick out of that facet. A lot has been said about makeup and stuff, I agree, but you should also know you are pretty cute without all the face paint. but being into fitness you should go ahead and show off a bit. Take some tips from Emily on making guys notice, like complimenting a guys groceries or halfway accidentally bumping into a guy.

IMO there’s nothing quite like understated beauty. Just need the right fool to notice it :slight_smile:

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[quote]Severiano wrote:
Yo Spock, you like sci fi!? :smiley:

So your the one who says she doesn’t know how to have sex, but you have a kid? LOLOL You’re funny too!

Your confidence in the gym belongs everywhere in your life. That endeavor to become a fitness model is a type of energy that you should allow people to see and take part in. If it’s a passion of yours then whoever you get involved with should hopefully be supportive and get a kick out of that facet. A lot has been said about makeup and stuff, I agree, but you should also know you are pretty cute without all the face paint. but being into fitness you should go ahead and show off a bit. Take some tips from Emily on making guys notice, like complimenting a guys groceries or halfway accidentally bumping into a guy.

IMO there’s nothing quite like understated beauty. Just need the right fool to notice it :slight_smile: [/quote]

Ha, I was thinking last night that when Spock finally figures out how to get men, she’s going to be right where I am now; trying to figure out what to do with them!

“I see you like green beans.” Excellent, excellent pickup line, I hear. lol

89

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:

She is an attractive healthy woman, which starts a cascade of assumptions ala the halo effect. Some would be that she’s smart (she does look smart, no neck tats!), is already taken, has better things to do, wouldn’t be interested, etc. Granted, those are my assumptions, but a lot of people do the something similar at least to the extent that it is a well documented phenomenon.
[/quote]

These is a good point. For women like this (read: Spock) sometimes they need to be a little flirty to have men sure that they’re available. Shyness doesn’t work if you look pretty, intelligent, driven, etc. Less assertive men might assume you’re taken or not interested in a cold approach. It would take a man with a definite amount of confidence to approach, and not all men like the cold approach, believe it or not. None of the dates I’ve ever gotten have been with a cold approach that I can recall. Just not my style.

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I agree that an attractive looking girl that lifts weights and is confident probably screams that she is taken. I would never in my life ever date an unintelligible person . So I think it’s just a matter of meeting someone who aligns with your tastes. I would say you are very pretty, maybe guys are just afraid of your personality and you are yet to meet the right type.

Also the approach is important too, alot of girls do the approaching or the initiating to something serious, it should be after feelings are proven mutual and guys aren’t just trying 2 get it in. It is very hard to meet someone that is compatible I think it comes down to being in places that one may have similar interests and also random chance.

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[quote]Jlabs wrote:
I would never in my life ever date an unintelligible person . [/quote]

I know what you mean. I dated a zombie once and it was the worst. Whenever I would ask her a question she would be like, “Uhhhhhhhh, mmmmmhhhhhh.”

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I’d take you as is. 99.999999% of men have approach anxiety even the ones that you think don’t, and only a very small minority dissolves it entirely. You definitely get looks, but you certainly get more as well as approaches from actual quality men. Don’t let up on anything. Keep going hard. Look sexy and feel sexy. Your personality’s great. Your looks are great.

You have an interest in interesting stuff, and you’re improving yourself and your circumstances. Growth is always attractive. Nobody should expect you to be perfect. Unless I’m looking to get into a serious relationship, a child’s not that serious of a factor either. I’m sure you prefer quality to quantity.

93

Whoa this thread blew up!

Might be time to do a summary post…

Spock, what have you taken from here that you like and what is it you don’t like/makes you uncomfortable/nervous?

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Spock gets a man here.

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WHeewwwwwwwwwfff!!!

I am honestly feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the advice, but I do really appreciate it and think it will be useful.

I think that my wardrobe could use a good makeover as when I buy clothes I often forget that I am not 150lbs anymore.
I dress like a fat person and that need to change.
But sometimes I wonder if everything really needs to be so complicated? I know lots of girls who are plain jane types and they have boyfriends.
I know lots of fairly unattractive people who get laid.
I know lots of annoying and/or bitchy people who are married or who go from boyfriend to boyfriend without ever getting rejected.
Why should I have to do 10000 million different things just to get a boy to notice me once in a while? It doesn’t add up.

I know that I don’t act very womanly (I never feel womanly), and I think that’s an issue, but I am honestly not really interested in womanly things.
Forcing myself to socialize with snotty women from my kids school makes me want to vomit. I am not like them in any way.
All the women around me I simply cannot relate to. Maybe it’s because it’s such a rich area that I live in, I dunno, but I find it difficult to view myself as a ‘woman’ instead of a ‘chick’.
If that’s how I have to act to be a woman then I don’t want no part of it.

I dunno, I don’t deny that I have lots to work on and improve, but it should be simpler.

96

I hear what you are saying, but this situation is obviously bothering you since you’ve brought it up a few times. The definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over again and expect different results. Basically, something has to change.

Change is never comfortable, but it’s the best catalyst to something new.

97

[quote]Spock81 wrote:

I know lots of girls who are plain jane types and they have boyfriends.

I know lots of fairly unattractive people who get laid.

I know lots of annoying and/or bitchy people who are married or who go from boyfriend to boyfriend without ever getting rejected.

Why should I have to do 10000 million different things just to get a boy to notice me once in a while? It doesn’t add up.
[/quote]

And the plain janes’ boyfriends are probably eyeballing other women and thinking “Why doesn’t my girlfriend make an effort anymore?”

I know a lot of fairly unattractive people who have sex with other unattractive people, that’s not really the goal though, eh?

The bitchy women go through men because they can’t keep one. They’re getting rejected all the same, it just comes after an initial trial period.

You seem like a cool chick and you’re better looking than you give yourself credit for. I don’t think you need to do 1000 million different things, we’ve just given you that many ideas. Pick a couple you’re comfortable with and let it fly. It’s easier said than done I know, but once you build some confidence and a little momentum it’ll take right off.

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[quote]Melvin Smiley wrote:

[quote]Spock81 wrote:

I know lots of girls who are plain jane types and they have boyfriends.

I know lots of fairly unattractive people who get laid.

I know lots of annoying and/or bitchy people who are married or who go from boyfriend to boyfriend without ever getting rejected.

Why should I have to do 10000 million different things just to get a boy to notice me once in a while? It doesn’t add up.
[/quote]

And the plain janes’ boyfriends are probably eyeballing other women and thinking “Why doesn’t my girlfriend make an effort anymore?”

I know a lot of fairly unattractive people who have sex with other unattractive people, that’s not really the goal though, eh?

The bitchy women go through men because they can’t keep one. They’re getting rejected all the same, it just comes after an initial trial period.

You seem like a cool chick and you’re better looking than you give yourself credit for. I don’t think you need to do 1000 million different things, we’ve just given you that many ideas. Pick a couple you’re comfortable with and let it fly. It’s easier said than done I know, but once you build some confidence and a little momentum it’ll take right off.[/quote]

Exactly. Kind of why I wanted her to give us the information I requested.

Doing this will help breakdown things further into manageable projects/habits and appear reasonable and will give the most bang for the buck. :slight_smile:

Seriously, give it a go Spock! You may be surprised how easy it can be.

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[quote]Spock81 wrote:
I know that I don’t act very womanly (I never feel womanly), and I think that’s an issue, but I am honestly not really interested in womanly things.
Forcing myself to socialize with snotty women from my kids school makes me want to vomit. I am not like them in any way.
All the women around me I simply cannot relate to. Maybe it’s because it’s such a rich area that I live in, I dunno, but I find it difficult to view myself as a ‘woman’ instead of a ‘chick’.
If that’s how I have to act to be a woman then I don’t want no part of it.
[/quote]

Just because all the asshole jocks at school spend a lot of time in the gym doesn’t mean going to the gym makes you an asshole. Hopefully that analogy makes sense.

If you want guys, and a bunch of guys are saying that X,Y,Z will help you get guys (and we kind of are the experts on it) … then you should probably try some of those things. What you’ve been doing has been comfortable, but it hasn’t worked. You’re going to have to get a little uncomfortable. But it doesn’t change who you are.

100

[quote]Test Icicle wrote:
nvm

[/quote]

It was a good point though. Maybe not constructive, but I agree.