i aint going to bother to give you relationship advice, i have been married for my entire adult life, and still have no idea what relationships are all aboot.
with this thread, you are starting to notice that you are getting the same answer over and over again. i found that these threads are only good for a few pages, then the same knuckleheads try to shove shit down your throat and it stops being useful.
but~ you are one of my favorite posters, and i am sure that you will have all your dreams come tru - that is what is supposed to happen to good people.
but~ you are one of my favorite posters, and i am sure that you will have all your dreams come tru - that is what is supposed to happen to good people.
[quote]spar4tee wrote:
Oh I was thinking Okcupid or some shit like that.[/quote]
Okcupid is where I met my lady friend. Its not bad for a free site. POF on the other hand is trash city.
[/quote]
WELL if it’s Nathan approved I guess it can’t be all bad, heh.
[quote]on edge wrote:
I don’t know much about how dating sites work (I only use gigolo sites) but it seems to me she could go out with guys and already have things to talk about with them.[/quote]
That’s the main reason I suggested dating sites as an option. Find someone with a mutual interest and she won’t have to go out of her comfort zone ad-libbing ice-breakers or wondering what mail-male is into. Obviously I’ve never met Spock, but even on line you can see when she gets enthusiastic over certain topics.
Relaxed and organic conversation comes from talking Back to the Future trivia or Chilli Peppers discography and there’s a natural confidence that comes with knowing you’re in the company of a like-minded person. That’s all the advice I have to give. It’s out there to take or leave.
I don’t know where you live in Edmonton, but have you checked out the base there? Probably a lot of decent guys who would be interested in you around there.
[quote]Spock81 wrote:
I don’t know how I am supposed to control my feelings?[/quote]
Overpower them with your willpower. Do you break your diet every time you see something tasty, or do you choose to make a good decision based on the what will be best for you in the long run?
[quote]Spock wrote:
How do I un-like a person or force myself to like MORE people at one time if it just doesn’t happen?[/quote]
If you met MORE people and liked the same percentage of people you met, you’d like more people overall. If you knew 1,000 dudes you liked who all liked you back, I don’t think you would really give a fuck if one of them lost interest. I don’t really think you would get nervous and freeze up every time you spoke with one of them.
[quote]Sturat wrote:
Really my dear you need to learn to talk to people, you may or may not have feelings but you can still talk to them. It’s a skill, it takes practice! What you need to do is force yourself to practice.
[/quote]
Again I have to agree with this. In your log it took you 2 fucking months to initiate a conversation with a dude you liked at your gym. It should have taken you 30 fucking seconds, and then you could have avoided the 2 months of emotional investment and build-up that basically made it impossible for you to interact normally with this guy.
You’re a gorgeous, driven, interesting girl with a good head on her shoulders - do you really not understand that this is the issue holding you back right now?
SPOCK- I suggest you compare the amount emotional stress you put yourself thru by being shy to the pain of a quick I am not interested you might get. Sometimes the hardest decision it actually the on that is far easier on you emotionally. It’s like sale you have to here so many no’s for every yes you hear. The more no’s you here the easier they are to hear. Either that or you need to refine your target market so you are not likely to here a year a sooner. In this situation that would be using a dating website.
[quote]JCMPG wrote:
SPOCK- I suggest you compare the amount emotional stress you put yourself thru by being shy to the pain of a quick I am not interested you might get. Sometimes the hardest decision it actually the on that is far easier on you emotionally. It’s like sale you have to here so many no’s for every yes you hear. The more no’s you here the easier they are to hear. Either that or you need to refine your target market so you are not likely to here a year a sooner. In this situation that would be using a dating website.[/quote]
I have decided to get my nipple pierced to build sexual confidence.
It may be years before anyone even sees it, but I’ll know it’s there and it will make me feel bad ass.
Thanks for listening. [/quote]
Anything, ANYTHING BUT to put yourself out there and risk rejection, eh?[/quote]
I actually laughed at this because it’s exactly what went through my head when I read the nipple thing. Again, she’s happy to take any advice, and do just about anything as long as it won’t actually solve the problem. Because actually attempting to solve the problem means talking to people and that’s totally out of the question, however doing things like this allows her to pretend she’s making progress, when in fact she’s hurting herself. By allowing herself to believe she’s making progress when she’s not she’s simply confirming to herself that she doesn’t actually need to do the things that make her uncomfortable.
After all one day the perfect guy will show up, psychically know that she’s awesome and shy even though she gives no indication other than disinterest, and put up with all that, including her running away to hide during attempts to talk, until they finally fall in love. Totally going to happen. . .
I have decided to get my nipple pierced to build sexual confidence.
It may be years before anyone even sees it, but I’ll know it’s there and it will make me feel bad ass.
Thanks for listening. [/quote]
Anything, ANYTHING BUT to put yourself out there and risk rejection, eh?[/quote]
I actually laughed at this because it’s exactly what went through my head when I read the nipple thing. Again, she’s happy to take any advice, and do just about anything as long as it won’t actually solve the problem. Because actually attempting to solve the problem means talking to people and that’s totally out of the question, however doing things like this allows her to pretend she’s making progress, when in fact she’s hurting herself. By allowing herself to believe she’s making progress when she’s not she’s simply confirming to herself that she doesn’t actually need to do the things that make her uncomfortable.
After all one day the perfect guy will show up, psychically know that she’s awesome and shy even though she gives no indication other than disinterest, and put up with all that, including her running away to hide during attempts to talk, until they finally fall in love. Totally going to happen. . .[/quote]
