When are Side Chicks Ok

Off Topic
141

So, let’s say there’s a wife…42 years old, three kids 13, 9, and 7 and she’s been a stay at home mom for 14 years. She no longer has any marketable skills. The husband works a middle class job and the family is just getting by, like so many US families. She has a “typical” sex drive, looks forward to sex once a week maybe twice if the stars align, but her husband has grown increasingly distant over the years.

He’s told her since she’s had kids he doesn’t really see her as a sexual partner any longer. And he has a touch of ED he won’t see a doctor about. He’s fine with sex once every three to four months, although she’s twice walked in on him jerking off late at night in front of the computer when he said he was catching up on some work.

The two co-parent wonderfully together and enjoy each others company and fully hope to spend the rest of their lives together, but she doesn’t want to go without intimacy for the rest of her life. A divorce would be emotionally and financially devastating for everyone involved - there’s barely enough money to support one household let alone two.

She’s considering finding someone for some NSA sex.

Is she a CPOS? *

Cheating Piece of Shit.

142

While we’re throwing out the hypotheticals…

How much of this is on the wife? Not for lack of sex or any of that, but for her choice in a man. I mean, she knew what kind of man she was marrying, right?

If you marry someone that’s disingenuous, can you fault them for being what they’ve always been? Or do the vows undo all of that?

Do vows from a liar mean anything? (I hesitate to say “liar” because the conception of honesty seems ambiguous in this thread)

143

[quote]Powerpuff wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]Powerpuff wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]angry chicken wrote:

I believe you wrote in a thread earlier this year that you only give your husband sex on your anniversary, as in ONCE A YEAR, so you would qualify as a sex-withholding manipulative bitch. (unless you were joking, if so, I apologize - if not, my assertion stands)
[/quote]

Shit just got real.[/quote]

Yeah. Well, I should have phrased my response as a question. Or just stayed out of it. I did sound judgmental. I’m not used to being talked to like that by anyone, so that’s a big clue, right?

You’ve always been pretty cool to me, Orion. So thanks for that. You probably don’t remember this, but a few years ago there was this thread about big 80’s Flock of Seagulls and Glam rock hair and I put a picture up of myself when I was about 19. And you told me I was really pretty. And I said I would totally have dated you then if you bought the wine coolers or something like that 'cause that’s what we were into back in the day. Yeah, you probably don’t remember that, but I do. You’ve made me laugh many, many times. And have made me think about a lot of things from a different angle, too. Take care.
[/quote]

What happened ?

And no, I dont remember that, but I do remember bringing a wine cooler to a date once.

That particular girl got her virginity taken by a guy a few months later who dumped her two weeks after that.

Felt good.

[/quote]
[/quote]

Irony, PP, irony…

144

[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
So, let’s say there’s a wife…42 years old, three kids 13, 9, and 7 and she’s been a stay at home mom for 14 years. She no longer has any marketable skills. The husband works a middle class job and the family is just getting by, like so many US families. She has a “typical” sex drive, looks forward to sex once a week maybe twice if the stars align, but her husband has grown increasingly distant over the years. He’s told her since she’s had kids he doesn’t really see her as a sexual partner any longer. And he has a touch of ED he won’t see a doctor about. He’s fine with sex once every three to four months, although she’s twice walked in on him jerking off late at night in front of the computer when he said he was catching up on some work.

The two co-parent wonderfully together and enjoy each others company and fully hope to spend the rest of their lives together, but she doesn’t want to go without intimacy for the rest of her life. A divorce would be emotionally and financially devastating for everyone involved - there’s barely enough money to support one household let alone two.

She’s considering finding someone for some NSA sex.

Is she a CPOS? *

Cheating Piece of Shit.[/quote]

No…theres no trophys for denying yourself sex… She should get online to one of the many cheater sites & find some dong… if her husband gets his shit right then she should stop. Torture aint cool

145

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]angry chicken wrote:

I believe you wrote in a thread earlier this year that you only give your husband sex on your anniversary, as in ONCE A YEAR, so you would qualify as a sex-withholding manipulative bitch. (unless you were joking, if so, I apologize - if not, my assertion stands)
[/quote]

Shit just got real.[/quote]

Powerpuff, if true, that’s pretty bizarre. In an Orthodox Jewish marriage, there is a signed contract (a “ketubah”) where you promise to fulfill the “conjugal needs, according to the universal custom.” I presume it is the same among all peoples, and once year is a failure.

I am fortunate, in that, Mrs. Jewbacca would break my dick off if we didn’t have sex @3 times/week. She was the first one chasing me around with a needle when it was TRT time.

That said, if she wasn’t, I would not cheat if that was not the case. It’s not “white knight” B.S. It’s an oath before G-d.

I would, however, be pissed and be going to some kind of marriage counseling if I was in a sexless marriage (and under, say, 75 years old).

147

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]angry chicken wrote:

I believe you wrote in a thread earlier this year that you only give your husband sex on your anniversary, as in ONCE A YEAR, so you would qualify as a sex-withholding manipulative bitch. (unless you were joking, if so, I apologize - if not, my assertion stands)
[/quote]

Shit just got real.[/quote]

Powerpuff, if true, that’s pretty bizarre. In an Orthodox Jewish marriage, there is a signed contract (a “ketubah”) where you promise to fulfill the “conjugal needs, according to the universal custom.” I presume it is the same among all peoples, and once year is a failure.
[/quote]

PP was joking.

The thread wasn’t that long ago and in the context of the thread her comment - and her comment about constant criticism being necessary for a happy marriage - were very funny in a dry, witty way.

148

[quote]thehebrewhero wrote:
^ this..
all white knight shit aside. If having a side piece means. 1 family stays intact 2 wife continues to live same life 3 assets stay right then it is what it is. This all or nothing mentality is bs. Life is 1 big grey area. Not everything is black & white. Sometimes you gotta break some eggs to make an omelette.
No reason to keep a perfectly good dick in a jar. Fuck that im livin my life. Yall internet tuff guys that hate me so bad. Thats some weak ass shit. If you really have the time to invest in a anonymous mofo you really need to get a life.

deuces[/quote]

No one invested any time in you. 99% of the conversation has been independent of your specific situation.

Everyone already knew you were cheating on your wife. Everyone already knew you would continue. We’ve just been talking about the issue.

149

[quote]rores28 wrote:

[quote]usmccds423 wrote:
2nd Google result.

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/03/22/how-common-is-cheating-infidelity-really/

[/quote]

A couple significant things to note about this study. First, most of this research was conducted nearly two decades ago, so have relationship dynamics (w/r/t fidelity) changed in an age of ever shortening attention spans, the “I’m entitled to it now” mentality, and proliferation of sites like craigslist, Backpage, AshleyMadison.com,and Tinder??? Well if I were a betting man…

Survey questions about morally questionable behavior are notoriously unreliable. People will lie about how many sex partners they have on these types of surveys, so to think significant deception (including self-deception, Ex. “It didn’t really count because it was just the tip”) isn’t occurring when you up the ante with infidelity is just naive.

Further, most of the cheating in these articles refers to extramarital cheating, and so would not take into account cheating on a short or long-term significant other.

In these studies cheating is also defined as sex. Do these surveys count bj’s, handies, making out and groping in “da club”?

Now even given all those shortcomings the study concludes 25% of people will cheat. That’s 1 in 4. If you work in an office of 200 people, 50 of them will cheat at some point.

Also since we are googling…here is a google search that says differently (30-60%)
http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/site-info-and-resources/sources-and-references.html[/quote]

That’s fine, I was just throwing numbers out I came across. 30%-60% is still considerably less than 75%.

150

[quote]LankyMofo wrote:
I’m lol’ing over here as well. [/quote]

28, married 7 years, also lol’ing…

151

If T-Nation didn’t frown upon the type of spoof threads like we used to have, I would start a thread titled When Are White Chicks OK.

Just thought I’d share that. Anyway, carry on…

152

[quote]angry chicken wrote:

[quote]spar4tee wrote:

[quote]usmccds423 wrote:
75-80%, no way I buy that. [/quote]
Same.[/quote]

You guys are living in fantasy land if you think that 75% of women have NEVER CHEATED. LMAO[/quote]

It was 75%-85% have cheated, which I don’t buy.

153

[quote]angry chicken wrote:
Marriages evolve. I am proposing that SEX isn’t the biggest part of it. If you get along with your spouse, have children, have assets, have mutual obligations etc… it may NOT be in your best interest to get divorced. If that’s the case, I propose you talk to your wife, let her know that you will be getting sex elsewhere and that DISCRETION is expected on both sides. How hard is that to fucking understand? Nowhere did I say to lie. Nowhere did I say to deceive. [/quote]

I agree 100% with this because of this sentence (emphasis mine), “If that’s the case, I propose you talk to your wife, let her know that you will be getting sex elsewhere and that DISCRETION is expected on both sides.” If you come to some agreement and the marriage is now “open” fine. I’m not against that.

I don’t know if you realize this, but you are pretty unique in that you have said repeatedly you would not lie in this scenario. You would immediately tell your SO you are getting it else where. FWIW I believe you would do that. Nothing you’ve ever written leads me to believe you’re lying now. However, you are int he minority. Most, I’d venture to say the vast majority, of people would lie through their teeth to avoid discovery. HebrewHero didn’t/hasn’t told his wife about the STD he has. These are the type of people I’m referring to in all my responses.

I acknowledge that you’ve said not to deceive.

[quote]
There may not be an exclusion clause, but it’s certainly something that you can add after the fact of her shutting her legs [/quote]

Really, you can add stipulations to a contract after you sign it? I’m not a lawyer, but I don’t think that’s the case.

[quote]
You can build any scenario you want to strawman me. But that’s not what I’m saying. I am NOT promoting deception. I am NOT putting the onus on a woman to fix anything. I am saying that if she doesn’t want to have sex with you then you can still get laid and keep your marriage. But in order for that to work, you should be discreet. [/quote]

I didn’t build any strawmen. I’m not trying to “trap” you. I’m pointed out what I feel is the hole in your logic.

I get it. Most people do not have the character that you have. Read the OP again and read some of Hebrews other posts. He isn’t going to tell his wife and I’m pretty confident he’d lie his ass off to cover his infidelities.

[quote]
OBVIOUSLY if it’s good enough for HIM to fuck other people, he should be fine with HER fucking other people. DUHHHHH![/quote]

I think we both know a double standard/stigma exists when it comes to men & women cheating. So while it should be a DUHHHHHH issue it is not.

154

[quote]angry chicken wrote:
DUDE. What part about NOT LYING did I fail to communicate? What is wrong with you people?[/quote]

The fact of the matter is that MOST people would lie about their infidelities. You are the exception not the rule.

I can’t speak for others, but my responses to you have been in general not about YOU or YOUR ACTIONS.

155

[quote]LankyMofo wrote:
AC - you can write DON’T LIE ABOUT IT a million times, a few people have demonstrated why that wouldn’t work in a typical marriage. That’s not a straw man, it’s taking your argument to it’s logical conclusion.

I’m not saying no sex is acceptable in a marriage, I’m just saying that no sex is usually a symptom of much deeper problems. Getting it on the side is not the answer. I’ve rarely seen, heard or read about people that have great marriages but a non existent sex life. If that’s the scenario you’re talking about than I’ll just say I think it’s pretty rare. [/quote]

Agreed.

156

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]thehebrewhero wrote:
Its more a emotional penalty on your kids. Im saying why make your kids move, get a new home, live a less better life, and get a new step dad all cuz Mommy is selfish. Get ass elswhere dont get caught everyone wins. Give her a altimatim say hey if you aint givin it up Im getting it elswhere if you catch me cool if not cool. How come the womans feelings always trump the mans?? All the sudden we dont count. [/quote]
Your family life together might be an even bigger emotional burden on your kids. It happens. There ARE cases where kids ended up better off if their parents separated.

Also, is any of this even real or are you just trolling? Your life seems insane. Are you a real person who apparently owns a business, does tons of drugs, and can’t spell “ultimatum”?[/quote]

Im glad my parents divorced. It was obvious they werent happy and it wasnt working out. Best for everyone
[/quote]

Well, you seem to be 25.

Wait a few years, lets see how unaffected you really are. [/quote]

Care to expand rather than making a completely ambiguous statement?

157

[quote]pushharder wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]thehebrewhero wrote:
Its more a emotional penalty on your kids. Im saying why make your kids move, get a new home, live a less better life, and get a new step dad all cuz Mommy is selfish. Get ass elswhere dont get caught everyone wins. Give her a altimatim say hey if you aint givin it up Im getting it elswhere if you catch me cool if not cool. How come the womans feelings always trump the mans?? All the sudden we dont count. [/quote]
Your family life together might be an even bigger emotional burden on your kids. It happens. There ARE cases where kids ended up better off if their parents separated.

Also, is any of this even real or are you just trolling? Your life seems insane. Are you a real person who apparently owns a business, does tons of drugs, and can’t spell “ultimatum”?[/quote]

Im glad my parents divorced. It was obvious they werent happy and it wasnt working out. Best for everyone
[/quote]

Indeed.

Divorce is devastating to ALL involved and the consequences to those secondarily affected often take years to metastasize.

My hunch is Mr. Ryan doesn’t know what hit him.

But he will. He will.

Well, you seem to be 25.

Wait a few years, lets see how unaffected you really are.
[/quote]

As i asked with orion please respond with something that isnt ambiguous. These statements are like horoscopes. made broad so readers can then add their own bias and self fulfilling prophecy to it. So please discuss further with what you actually mean i am interested in hearing. Because to this day i have nothing but good things to say about them divorcing and life would of sucked had they stayed together. I only wish they divorced earlier.

158

[quote]angry chicken wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]angry chicken wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]angry chicken wrote:
LOL at all the white knights calling “cheating” chicken shit or advising someone to get a divorce (which takes a year or more) BEFORE you get some. LMFAO
[/quote]
You’re being ridiculously literal. There’s no lock on your dick that comes off once the judge signs a paper. What people are saying is that you make it known that things are over. Start the process, whatever. I know how long it takes, but if you’re fucking married to someone you at least owe it to them to make it known that a divorce is gonna happen and the union is no longer exclusive. Don’t just go behind their back and wait and see if they ask. I mean why? YOU are the one who chose to get married, YOU gotta deal with the consequences.

If you literally can’t afford a divorce then hire a hitman or something I dunno.

Don’t do that though. I feel like hebrewhero is the type of person who actually would. Hebrewhero, don’t tell the cops that csulli from TNation told you to hire a contract killer to assassinate your frigid wife.[/quote]

I actually think that society is far better served by keeping families intact. No fault divorce makes it a moot point about who cheat’s first, so who gives a fuck? Every man should know that he’s going to get fucked six ways from Sunday in a divorce (which isn’t fair) so why should there be a reasonable expectation of fidelity if the woman stops meeting the man’s needs?

I could just as easily confront a woman who isn’t putting out and say, “you’re fucking MARRIED, you at least owe your husband some pussy when he wants it. You KNEW sex was part of being married, so if you didn’t want the dick, you shouldn’t have done it”.

If SHE cuts it off, how is there any reasonable expectation that the relationship continues to be exclusive? That’s a completely unreasonable expectation.[/quote]

Lol the divorce does not always end in the guy ruined my self and almost a dozen of people form my HS have divorced families that ended without financial hemorrhage from either party[/quote]

Must be nice. I guess I’ll just trust all my assets to chance because the people you know made out just fine… What state do you live in? Cuz ya know there are different laws depending where you live, right?[/quote]

You dont strike me as a type to ever marry and if you do I jsut cant see it lasting. I dont mean that as a bad thing either. Plenty of people are just not built for marriage and as long as they recognize and dont enter into one thats great. I could be off base. But i think even you discussed it yourself or Orion maybe in a different thread the higher the number for males and females the lower the rate of successful marriage… Makes sense

Anyways I am in WI.

159

[quote]thehebrewhero wrote:
^ this..
all white knight shit aside. If having a side piece means. 1 family stays intact 2 wife continues to live same life 3 assets stay right then it is what it is. This all or nothing mentality is bs. Life is 1 big grey area. Not everything is black & white. Sometimes you gotta break some eggs to make an omelette.
No reason to keep a perfectly good dick in a jar. Fuck that im livin my life. Yall internet tuff guys that hate me so bad. Thats some weak ass shit. If you really have the time to invest in a anonymous mofo you really need to get a life.

deuces[/quote]

So youre all about raising a family in an enviroment where dad leaves often to go bang his side wife then come home and kiss his kids goodnight? And inquire about their day? And people wonder why the american youth are going to hell in a hand basket. Those values

160

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]thehebrewhero wrote:
^ this..
all white knight shit aside. If having a side piece means. 1 family stays intact 2 wife continues to live same life 3 assets stay right then it is what it is. This all or nothing mentality is bs. Life is 1 big grey area. Not everything is black & white. Sometimes you gotta break some eggs to make an omelette.
No reason to keep a perfectly good dick in a jar. Fuck that im livin my life. Yall internet tuff guys that hate me so bad. Thats some weak ass shit. If you really have the time to invest in a anonymous mofo you really need to get a life.

deuces[/quote]

So youre all about raising a family in an enviroment where dad leaves often to go bang his side wife then come home and kiss his kids goodnight? And inquire about their day? And people wonder why the american youth are going to hell in a hand basket. Those values
[/quote]
No you’re only 25, shut up though.