I hate a limp handshake from a guy. I feel the need to wipe my hand afterward.
On the flip side, I hold back laughter when a dude grabs me in the palm-down-death-grip and doesn’t pump at all, just locks eyes like he’s trying to steal my soul and attempts to squeeze water out of my hand. Once I read about the palm-down tactic, it cracks me up every time someone tries it on me, and I keep it in the back of my head.
They say Gen. MacArthur actually placed his desk on a small platform, to insure that he was sitting higher than everyone else. Then Eisenhower came to visit him in Korea and kicked him out of his own desk chair so he could sit there during their meeting.
A good handshake means a handshake that will not break the other person’s hand. Of course, a deathgrip handshake is always better to get than a deadfish handshake. Other than that , all i have to say is to keep your hand straight. Many people for some reason have their hands at an angle to either show dominance(palm down) or subordinance(palm up).
whatever you or anybody on this board thinks about your handshaking skills the bottom line is this : if people are consistently complaining about it, then that’s not a good thing and you should make adjustments. handshakes are generally to help you get in, not to keep people out. it’s pretty subtle and there is no one handshake that you use for every situation.
you don’t shake your boss’s hand the same way you shake your co-worker’s. and you don’t shake your co-worker’s the same way you’d shake a client’s. and you always let older guys get in the last squeeze. that’s just the way it is; a sign of respect. in business guys who always squeeze hard are defensive and fall for the change-up pretty much everytime.
Hankshakes - it’s one of those things you understand all the intricacies of but when you talk about it, it sounds like you spend too much time thinking about shaking hands.
[quote]Renton wrote:
Absolutely - It’s an old trick just like making sure that if you are sitting in a chair opposite your intended customer (especially if there is a desk between you) that your chair is higher than theirs. The desk hides the fact a little more so the effect is more subtle.
Most places that operate this will make sure the customer chairs are a fixed height where the sales peoples chairs are adjustable. It’s not just for comfort![/quote]
Never heard of the chair thing but they really are all set up like that… maybe I’ll just stand from now on.
a firm handshake is good, ive had some hand breakers before… respect. lol
I think you should always give a firm handshake, the other person is suppose to know its a hand not a piece of meat that was handed to him, dont try to prove anything.
[quote]boatguy wrote:
I hate a limp handshake from a guy. I feel the need to wipe my hand afterward.
[/quote]
Exactly.
I also hate when I overestimate the other dude. My brother-in-law threw me off like this after I first met him. Strong guy, but he gives a deceivingly soft, almost effeminate, handshake. I inadvertently did the knuckle-crunch thing to him the first couple of times because I was expecting a firmer grip.
[quote]swivel wrote:
whatever you or anybody on this board thinks about your handshaking skills the bottom line is this : if people are consistently complaining about it, then that’s not a good thing and you should make adjustments.[/quote]
Well, here’s the thing, the two people that complained about my handshakes aren’t what we would consider to be “average” men. Neither are impressive in my book; don’t work out, one has poor integrity, etc. So, to sum them up, they don’t embody manliness to any degree, and I’m not just saying that for the sake of my argument; it’s how it is.
That leads me to my rant, that men seem to be de-evolving. They didn’t give very firm handshakes when I met them, which is why they might think that my shake is too strong, because they don’t give good ones.
[quote]Padilla7921 wrote:
swivel wrote:
whatever you or anybody on this board thinks about your handshaking skills the bottom line is this : if people are consistently complaining about it, then that’s not a good thing and you should make adjustments.
Well, here’s the thing, the two people that complained about my handshakes aren’t what we would consider to be “average” men. Neither are impressive in my book; don’t work out, one has poor integrity, etc. So, to sum them up, they don’t embody manliness to any degree, and I’m not just saying that for the sake of my argument; it’s how it is.
That leads me to my rant, that men seem to be de-evolving. They didn’t give very firm handshakes when I met them, which is why they might think that my shake is too strong, because they don’t give good ones.[/quote]
sounds reasonable to me. but still if you need to do business or to relate to these guys in some way, you should back off the shake and condescend to their level. if you don’t need them for anything though then keep on crushing or even better just ignore the shake altogether. as far as i’m concerned, the more men who “de-volve” the better.
[quote]Padilla7921 wrote:
swivel wrote:
whatever you or anybody on this board thinks about your handshaking skills the bottom line is this : if people are consistently complaining about it, then that’s not a good thing and you should make adjustments.
Well, here’s the thing, the two people that complained about my handshakes aren’t what we would consider to be “average” men. Neither are impressive in my book; don’t work out, one has poor integrity, etc. So, to sum them up, they don’t embody manliness to any degree, and I’m not just saying that for the sake of my argument; it’s how it is.
That leads me to my rant, that men seem to be de-evolving. They didn’t give very firm handshakes when I met them, which is why they might think that my shake is too strong, because they don’t give good ones.[/quote]
While there is a definite culture today of ‘men’ who are weak, effeminate and attempting to maintain youth and so avoid all the qualities that are traditionally attributed to a man, I wouldn’t worry too much about it. There have always been some people like this, they’re just what’s in at the moment. This too shall pass.
[quote]will to power wrote:
While there is a definite culture today of ‘men’ who are weak, effeminate and attempting to maintain youth and so avoid all the qualities that are traditionally attributed to a man, I wouldn’t worry too much about it. There have always been some people like this, they’re just what’s in at the moment. This too shall pass.[/quote]
I sure hope so. I was totally flabbergasted (I can’t believe I just used that word) when I found out that they thought my handshake was too firm. Like, not bone crushing, just FIRM.
[quote]swivel wrote:
sounds reasonable to me. but still if you need to do business or to relate to these guys in some way, you should back off the shake and condescend to their level. if you don’t need them for anything though then keep on crushing or even better just ignore the shake altogether. as far as i’m concerned, the more men who “de-volve” the better.[/quote]
Well I don’t quite agree with what you said. I mean, you’re right about a few things, but I certainly will not lower myself to their level for the sake of appeasing their limp handshakes. I’ve had plenty of people older than me (successful business, legit people, etc) compliment my handshake, so I must be doing something right.
A weak handshake is one of my pet peeves actually. It shows lack of confidence in himself. I like giving a firm handshake, palm to palm, nice grip, but not too tough. I feel a good handshake is one of the most important tools a man (or woman) should have in their etiquette arsenal.
A step further: I’m like the guy who called out AdamC on his handshake. If I shake a guy’s hand and it’s weak, I’ll say something along the lines of “are you a girl or a man?” If they say ‘a man,’ then I say ‘then shake hands like a man’ and we do it again. The next time I see that guy, his handshake is up to par.
[quote]tmoney1 wrote:
A step further: I’m like the guy who called out AdamC on his handshake. If I shake a guy’s hand and it’s weak, I’ll say something along the lines of “are you a girl or a man?” If they say ‘a man,’ then I say ‘then shake hands like a man’ and we do it again. The next time I see that guy, his handshake is up to par.[/quote]
I’ve never called anyone out on their handshake before, but I feel I might start doing that in certain circumstances, particularly in those where the handshake is just awful. Normally I let it slide and keep the experience of a weak handshake in the back of my mind so I know to watch out for whoever gave it (integrity, personality, confidence, etc).
[quote]Padilla7921 wrote:
tmoney1 wrote:
Normally I let it slide and keep the experience of a weak handshake in the back of my mind so I know to watch out for whoever gave it (integrity, personality, confidence, etc).[/quote]
that’s it exactly. and as far as what i said before about coming down to their level you should reconsider…weak negotiators likely have weak handshakes and are likely on the lookout and dislike those they consider to be sharks. you’ve experienced this yourself which is why you started this thread. if you don’t care about those guys that’s one thing but if they are a business opportunity for you that’s another. you will have a hard time making money off people who dislike you because you dominated them right off the bat with your handshake. it will be much harder for you to develop trust and credibility with them.
using the same single handshake for all situations is like using the same single move on every girl you go out with. sometimes it’ll work, sometimes it won’t. the goal of putting a move on a girl is to get into her pants. the goal of a handshake is to make a positive impression. if the situation calls for it by all means give a firm shake. but when you’re dealing with sheep it’s better to be the wolf in sheep’s clothing is what i’m saying.
I can’t remember exactly what triggered it, but somewhere around the age of 19 or 20 I realized I had a deficient handshake, mostly through lack of practice, and decided it was important to get it right.
I definitely believe in a firm handshake, straight up, palm to hand, 2-3 seconds in duration. A weak handshake is just as bad as the guy who tries to crush your hand. With the weak shake, you think, either this guy isn’t worth a shit, or he doesn’t want to have anything to do with me, so I better leave him alone. The guy who tries to crush your hand or hangs on too long is obviously playing games, so it creates a lack of trust.
I hadn’t thought about the guys who come in on an angle, or considered that when they just get your fingers that it was intentional. I’ll look for that in that in the future. It’s good to know what kind of person you’re dealing with.
[quote]swivel wrote:
that’s it exactly. and as far as what i said before about coming down to their level you should reconsider…[/quote]
Ah, I see what you mean now. Disguise myself, a good tactic. The only thing is, it’s hard to tell a handshake until you give it. Still, if I know the person’s handshake, I definitely think a little subliminal work is a good thing.
But as for the situations I’ve been in, particularly the ones I’m complaining about, it’s been normal people that I’m just meeting and greeting, and they can’t give a solid shake for anything.
I will always give a firm handshake. It’s a good indicator of who you are and etc. First impressions are key, and I intend to give good ones, whether they like it or not.