What's Worse Than Heartbreak?

Off Topic
41

[quote]Vicomte wrote:

[quote]tootles27 wrote:

[quote]Hallowed wrote:

[quote]Vicomte wrote:

[quote]Hallowed wrote:
Not to get all Dr Phil here… but… (IMHO)

The major FEAR that is triggered in people when they are dumped that is different than the fears that are triggered when someone dies is REJECTION

Its an ego wound.[/quote]

Not applicable.

Guy’s father offed himself. That’s rejection on a fairly epic scale.

This is about jealousy. [/quote]

Interesting… I like that perspective.
Good food for thought.
I have some personal experience in this area (suicide) and actually hadn’t ever looked at it that way before.

Goddammit.
[/quote]

I think suicide is more self rejection and feeling hopeless, leaving loved ones behind to struggle trying to figure out why.[/quote]

Drug addiction is self-rejection/hopelessness. Suicide is a rejection of life/circumstances, and pain, dishonor, or whatever else. Suicide used to be a noble death, before modern psychology dug its claws into it.

When you get right down to it, killing yourself takes serious balls. I don’t think we should minimize the courage involved. It doesn’t get more serious than taking one’s own life.

The really hopeless people don’t possess that kind of willpower.[/quote]

I would say instead that the really hopeless people don’t possess that kind of energy. Suicide risk increases when severely depressed people start SSRIs because it can make them feel enough better that they finally have enough energy to act on their despair, but not enough better that they consciously notice feeling better.

42

[quote]AdamC wrote:
What’s Worse Than Heartbreak?[/quote]

Cockbreak?

43

[quote]Hallowed wrote:

[quote]Vicomte wrote:

[quote]Hallowed wrote:
Not to get all Dr Phil here… but… (IMHO)

The major FEAR that is triggered in people when they are dumped that is different than the fears that are triggered when someone dies is REJECTION

Its an ego wound.[/quote]

Not applicable.

Guy’s father offed himself. That’s rejection on a fairly epic scale.

This is about jealousy. [/quote]

Interesting… I like that perspective.
Good food for thought.
I have some personal experience in this area (suicide) and actually hadn’t ever looked at it that way before.

Goddammit.
[/quote]

You committed suicide?

44

[quote]AdamC wrote:

[quote]DBCooper wrote:

[quote]AdamC wrote:
DB, that doesn’t make any sense and you know it. Thanks for playing.[/quote]

Bullshit. It makes perfect sense.

The death of a loved one is much easier for you to deal with because it affects not only you but everyone else who was close to those people. Knowing that you are not the only one who has lost a loved one makes it easier for you to deal with that loss because of the sense of a “collective loss”. When others feel your pain along with you, you can handle it better due to a feeling of “community”, for lack of a better word.

But when some dude smashes your heart to pieces, you are the only one experiencing that particular pain. You are alone in your heartache and so your attitude is “oh, woe is ME. How ever will I make through it this?” Perhaps selfishness is not the best word to describe it, but this is a clear-cut case of self-pity and (to me anyways) self-pity is a form of selfishness.

After all, as much as you may hurt from the death of a loved one, losing a close person isn’t nearly the same as losing one’s life. The loss of a life cannot compare to the loss of a boyfriend; they aren’t in the same league, yet what hurts you more? The loss that affects YOU, the loss of your man, not the loss of a life of a loved one.

Death is absolute, breakups are not. Somewhere in your head you have probably thought “well, that person is dead and since ADAM can’t ever get that person back, there’s no need for ADAM to feel bad about it for too long.” But regarding your breakup, you probably harbor some hope, however small, that you and your ex will or can get back together again. “ADAM can get this person back so ADAM feels more pain about this because it lingers longer since there is a possibility that ADAM can have a relationship with this guy once again.”

Since there isn’t anything for YOU to hope for regarding death, it’s over and done with for you and you’ve moved on. But since the relationship is possibly NOT over with for YOU, then the hope lingers and this lingering can cause extra pain.

I’d be willing to bet that you are consumed by the thought of your own death much, much more than you are about the thought of your mother’s death or your grandparents’ death or the death of anyone else close to you that is likely to die before you do. [/quote]

Despite the fact that you seem to think I’m either a gay man, or a female, that post made a lot more sense. Your first didn’t the way it was written. But yeah, it’s pretty hard to fault your rationale.[/quote]

It’s pretty hard to fault my rationale because I FUCKING WON MOTHERFUCKER!!! I WON THE FUCKING INTERNET!!! I’M THE MAN!!!

45

[quote]Brother Chris wrote:

[quote]Hallowed wrote:

[quote]Vicomte wrote:

[quote]Hallowed wrote:
Not to get all Dr Phil here… but… (IMHO)

The major FEAR that is triggered in people when they are dumped that is different than the fears that are triggered when someone dies is REJECTION

Its an ego wound.[/quote]

Not applicable.

Guy’s father offed himself. That’s rejection on a fairly epic scale.

This is about jealousy. [/quote]

Interesting… I like that perspective.
Good food for thought.
I have some personal experience in this area (suicide) and actually hadn’t ever looked at it that way before.

Goddammit.
[/quote]

You committed suicide?[/quote]

And she has risen.

I kid I kid. No, I was just trying to be vague and brief in my response and it came out weird. I have had the experience of losing a loved one to suicide. I did not feel it as a rejection. I can see how someone would though especially if the loss was of a parent. I can see a child taking their parent’s suicide as a rejection. Suicide tends to have different emotional affects on the survivors than other types of death. Though I think this tangent may be veering away from what the OP is looking for.

46

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Vicomte wrote:

[quote]tootles27 wrote:

[quote]Hallowed wrote:

[quote]Vicomte wrote:

[quote]Hallowed wrote:
Not to get all Dr Phil here… but… (IMHO)

The major FEAR that is triggered in people when they are dumped that is different than the fears that are triggered when someone dies is REJECTION

Its an ego wound.[/quote]

Not applicable.

Guy’s father offed himself. That’s rejection on a fairly epic scale.

This is about jealousy. [/quote]

Interesting… I like that perspective.
Good food for thought.
I have some personal experience in this area (suicide) and actually hadn’t ever looked at it that way before.

Goddammit.
[/quote]

I think suicide is more self rejection and feeling hopeless, leaving loved ones behind to struggle trying to figure out why.[/quote]

Drug addiction is self-rejection/hopelessness. Suicide is a rejection of life/circumstances, and pain, dishonor, or whatever else. Suicide used to be a noble death, before modern psychology dug its claws into it.

When you get right down to it, killing yourself takes serious balls. I don’t think we should minimize the courage involved. It doesn’t get more serious than taking one’s own life.

The really hopeless people don’t possess that kind of willpower.[/quote]

I would say instead that the really hopeless people don’t possess that kind of energy. Suicide risk increases when severely depressed people start SSRIs because it can make them feel enough better that they finally have enough energy to act on their despair, but not enough better that they consciously notice feeling better.

[/quote]

Psh. Placebo.

47

[quote]Hallowed wrote:

[quote]Brother Chris wrote:

[quote]Hallowed wrote:

[quote]Vicomte wrote:

[quote]Hallowed wrote:
Not to get all Dr Phil here… but… (IMHO)

The major FEAR that is triggered in people when they are dumped that is different than the fears that are triggered when someone dies is REJECTION

Its an ego wound.[/quote]

Not applicable.

Guy’s father offed himself. That’s rejection on a fairly epic scale.

This is about jealousy. [/quote]

Interesting… I like that perspective.
Good food for thought.
I have some personal experience in this area (suicide) and actually hadn’t ever looked at it that way before.

Goddammit.
[/quote]

You committed suicide?[/quote]

And she has risen.

I kid I kid. No, I was just trying to be vague and brief in my response and it came out weird. I have had the experience of losing a loved one to suicide. I did not feel it as a rejection. I can see how someone would though especially if the loss was of a parent. I can see a child taking their parent’s suicide as a rejection. Suicide tends to have different emotional affects on the survivors than other types of death. Though I think this tangent may be veering away from what the OP is looking for.
[/quote]

Burn the witch!

Listen not to its lies!

48

[quote]Vicomte wrote:

[quote]Hallowed wrote:

[quote]Brother Chris wrote:

[quote]Hallowed wrote:

[quote]Vicomte wrote:

[quote]Hallowed wrote:
Not to get all Dr Phil here… but… (IMHO)

The major FEAR that is triggered in people when they are dumped that is different than the fears that are triggered when someone dies is REJECTION

Its an ego wound.[/quote]

Not applicable.

Guy’s father offed himself. That’s rejection on a fairly epic scale.

This is about jealousy. [/quote]

Interesting… I like that perspective.
Good food for thought.
I have some personal experience in this area (suicide) and actually hadn’t ever looked at it that way before.

Goddammit.
[/quote]

You committed suicide?[/quote]

And she has risen.

I kid I kid. No, I was just trying to be vague and brief in my response and it came out weird. I have had the experience of losing a loved one to suicide. I did not feel it as a rejection. I can see how someone would though especially if the loss was of a parent. I can see a child taking their parent’s suicide as a rejection. Suicide tends to have different emotional affects on the survivors than other types of death. Though I think this tangent may be veering away from what the OP is looking for.
[/quote]

Burn the witch!

Listen not to its lies![/quote]

That which is dead may never die, but rises again, stronger and harder.

49

[quote]Hallowed wrote:

[quote]Vicomte wrote:

[quote]Hallowed wrote:

[quote]Brother Chris wrote:

[quote]Hallowed wrote:

[quote]Vicomte wrote:

[quote]Hallowed wrote:
Not to get all Dr Phil here… but… (IMHO)

The major FEAR that is triggered in people when they are dumped that is different than the fears that are triggered when someone dies is REJECTION

Its an ego wound.[/quote]

Not applicable.

Guy’s father offed himself. That’s rejection on a fairly epic scale.

This is about jealousy. [/quote]

Interesting… I like that perspective.
Good food for thought.
I have some personal experience in this area (suicide) and actually hadn’t ever looked at it that way before.

Goddammit.
[/quote]

You committed suicide?[/quote]

And she has risen.

I kid I kid. No, I was just trying to be vague and brief in my response and it came out weird. I have had the experience of losing a loved one to suicide. I did not feel it as a rejection. I can see how someone would though especially if the loss was of a parent. I can see a child taking their parent’s suicide as a rejection. Suicide tends to have different emotional affects on the survivors than other types of death. Though I think this tangent may be veering away from what the OP is looking for.
[/quote]

Burn the witch!

Listen not to its lies![/quote]

That which is dead may never die, but rises again, stronger and harder.[/quote]

It corrupts with its phallic imagery!

Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live!

50

[quote]Vicomte wrote:

[quote]Hallowed wrote:

[quote]Vicomte wrote:

[quote]Hallowed wrote:

[quote]Brother Chris wrote:

[quote]Hallowed wrote:

[quote]Vicomte wrote:

[quote]Hallowed wrote:
Not to get all Dr Phil here… but… (IMHO)

The major FEAR that is triggered in people when they are dumped that is different than the fears that are triggered when someone dies is REJECTION

Its an ego wound.[/quote]

Not applicable.

Guy’s father offed himself. That’s rejection on a fairly epic scale.

This is about jealousy. [/quote]

Interesting… I like that perspective.
Good food for thought.
I have some personal experience in this area (suicide) and actually hadn’t ever looked at it that way before.

Goddammit.
[/quote]

You committed suicide?[/quote]

And she has risen.

I kid I kid. No, I was just trying to be vague and brief in my response and it came out weird. I have had the experience of losing a loved one to suicide. I did not feel it as a rejection. I can see how someone would though especially if the loss was of a parent. I can see a child taking their parent’s suicide as a rejection. Suicide tends to have different emotional affects on the survivors than other types of death. Though I think this tangent may be veering away from what the OP is looking for.
[/quote]

Burn the witch!

Listen not to its lies![/quote]

That which is dead may never die, but rises again, stronger and harder.[/quote]

It corrupts with its phallic imagery!

Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live![/quote]

Much as you cannot kill the dead,
You cannot corrupt the corrupted.

51

well, since you didnt see this coming with your current heartbreak, im going to assume a few things. im going to assume you are young (under 23-24?), you weren’t the break-er upper (which is rough) and since you didnt see this coming, your girlfriend was either cheating on you long term or just cheated on you recently and confessed to it and broke up and finally, im going to assume you were together a long time. usually you can see the breakup coming otherwise, or be the person to do it (which is so much better).

so, there really isnt much to do, time heals all wounds. get off the couch, go hang out with friends, just get your mind off of it. if you’re a violent or depressed drunk, stay away from booze, if you are a happy go lucky drunk, then have a couple beers with some buddies and try to mingle with some women.

I broke up with my girlfreind last august, whom i thought i was going to marry, i had a ring fund set up and everything. we hadnt been clicking for like a month leading up to it, and we broke up on our way to dinner. i think i was sad for about 5 minutes after i dropped her off for the last time, then i started to tally up the things she did that really annoyed me. then i went to the bar, got proper drunk, banged a random girl, and felt alot better immediately.

52

[quote]TD54 wrote:

[quote]DJHT wrote:

[quote]super saiyan wrote:
Heartbreak??!! Pfff. Try being offered free pizza after your workout.

WWVD[/quote]

Or being a Cowboys fan at 1-2 record. [/quote]

This. I’m lost in life right now. My world has been turned upside down, but 14-2 should fix that[/quote]

yeah well my niners are 0-3, and last week was the worst i’ve witnessed in a while. luckily we got a new offensive coordinator :slight_smile:

53

[quote]ritzgooch23 wrote:

[quote]TD54 wrote:

[quote]DJHT wrote:

[quote]super saiyan wrote:
Heartbreak??!! Pfff. Try being offered free pizza after your workout.

WWVD[/quote]

Or being a Cowboys fan at 1-2 record. [/quote]

This. I’m lost in life right now. My world has been turned upside down, but 14-2 should fix that[/quote]

yeah well my niners are 0-3, and last week was the worst i’ve witnessed in a while. luckily we got a new offensive coordinator :slight_smile:
[/quote]

54

@ OP:

If you didn’t see it coming, then you haven’t been watching out for red flags in you woman’s actions. Otherwise you would have dumped her long ago.

My suggestion:

1- Do sets of heavy deadlift/back squat/bench press with angry music on and thinking about her betrayal (go when gym is nearly empty). If you feel like it, go outside and sprint.

THEN

2- Throw all her shit out.
3- Go out with your (single) friends to meet women, not to drink and cry.
4- Meet and fuck women who are MORE beautiful than your ex. (don’t go drunken broads, they are dissatisfying)

55

Join the Catholic Church and become a priest. This is your only option. Your lack of social grace and emotional intelligence at this current moment seems to be hindering any kind of proper relationship with a person.