[quote]Vegita wrote:
[quote]super saiyan wrote:
Heartbreak??!! Pfff. Try being offered free pizza after your workout.
WWVD[/quote]
Hey SS, meant to ask, what is WWVD? We Want Vaginal Diseases?
V[/quote]
What Would Vegita Do
[quote]Vegita wrote:
[quote]super saiyan wrote:
Heartbreak??!! Pfff. Try being offered free pizza after your workout.
WWVD[/quote]
Hey SS, meant to ask, what is WWVD? We Want Vaginal Diseases?
V[/quote]
What Would Vegita Do?
[quote]AdamC wrote:
I lost my dad to suicide, and watched my grandmother die a slow painful death from cancer. But as it stands, i probably feel worse right now than at any time during those periods. What the fuck is with that? Perspective needed.[/quote]
Because you touch yourself at night, and you caught the ghey.
Not to get all Dr Phil here… but… (IMHO)
The major FEAR that is triggered in people when they are dumped that is different than the fears that are triggered when someone dies is REJECTION
Its an ego wound.
[quote]DBCooper wrote:
[quote]AdamC wrote:
DB, that doesn’t make any sense and you know it. Thanks for playing.[/quote]
Bullshit. It makes perfect sense.
The death of a loved one is much easier for you to deal with because it affects not only you but everyone else who was close to those people. Knowing that you are not the only one who has lost a loved one makes it easier for you to deal with that loss because of the sense of a “collective loss”. When others feel your pain along with you, you can handle it better due to a feeling of “community”, for lack of a better word.
But when some dude smashes your heart to pieces, you are the only one experiencing that particular pain. You are alone in your heartache and so your attitude is “oh, woe is ME. How ever will I make through it this?” Perhaps selfishness is not the best word to describe it, but this is a clear-cut case of self-pity and (to me anyways) self-pity is a form of selfishness.
After all, as much as you may hurt from the death of a loved one, losing a close person isn’t nearly the same as losing one’s life. The loss of a life cannot compare to the loss of a boyfriend; they aren’t in the same league, yet what hurts you more? The loss that affects YOU, the loss of your man, not the loss of a life of a loved one.
Death is absolute, breakups are not. Somewhere in your head you have probably thought “well, that person is dead and since ADAM can’t ever get that person back, there’s no need for ADAM to feel bad about it for too long.” But regarding your breakup, you probably harbor some hope, however small, that you and your ex will or can get back together again. “ADAM can get this person back so ADAM feels more pain about this because it lingers longer since there is a possibility that ADAM can have a relationship with this guy once again.”
Since there isn’t anything for YOU to hope for regarding death, it’s over and done with for you and you’ve moved on. But since the relationship is possibly NOT over with for YOU, then the hope lingers and this lingering can cause extra pain.
I’d be willing to bet that you are consumed by the thought of your own death much, much more than you are about the thought of your mother’s death or your grandparents’ death or the death of anyone else close to you that is likely to die before you do. [/quote]
I concur and it is probably best for the OP to become An Hero.
Get up off your couch. Go see friends. Move asap. Get rid of everything that reminds you of that person. Even belongings that you got together.
I went through some really rough shit about 2.5 years ago. I was quasi-suicidal, really sad/heartbroken, and had panic attacks and a continuous overlying feeling of an oncoming panic attack for quite some time. I quit my job and went and hung out with friends that I hadn’t seen in a while for a week here, a week there. It helped tremendously. Not that you should quit your job, but if you take time off, which you should, DO NOT stay at home – go spend it with friends or family, and or nature. Stay at their house and get out of your own. From my experience, it REALLY HELPS to get out of the place/area where it all went down. Even going on a 6 day backpacking trip alone would be a huge help.
To answer your question, being heartbroken and having panic attacks is worse 
But being heartbroken is close to being the worst thing in the world. I’m on the verge of a panic attack just thinking about it honestly. It (the emotion) just kind of gets stirred up from time to time, so it’s best to get your mind off of it by chaning your scene. I move 500 miles away from there and am doing great now. I just got married to a new girl actually. I feel like it’s meant to be.
Hang in there! Time will fade the pain if you allow your self the opportunity. Don’t wallow.
you were depressed to begin with and this made it worse.
[quote]Hallowed wrote:
Not to get all Dr Phil here… but… (IMHO)
The major FEAR that is triggered in people when they are dumped that is different than the fears that are triggered when someone dies is REJECTION
Its an ego wound.[/quote]
Not applicable.
Guy’s father offed himself. That’s rejection on a fairly epic scale.
This is about jealousy.
[quote]Vicomte wrote:
[quote]Hallowed wrote:
Not to get all Dr Phil here… but… (IMHO)
The major FEAR that is triggered in people when they are dumped that is different than the fears that are triggered when someone dies is REJECTION
Its an ego wound.[/quote]
Not applicable.
Guy’s father offed himself. That’s rejection on a fairly epic scale.
This is about jealousy. [/quote]
Interesting… I like that perspective.
Good food for thought.
I have some personal experience in this area (suicide) and actually hadn’t ever looked at it that way before.
Goddammit.
[quote]super saiyan wrote:
[quote]Vegita wrote:
[quote]super saiyan wrote:
Heartbreak??!! Pfff. Try being offered free pizza after your workout.
WWVD[/quote]
Hey SS, meant to ask, what is WWVD? We Want Vaginal Diseases?
V[/quote]
What Would Vegita Do?[/quote]
Haha cool. In this instance I certainly wouldn’t cry over some chick. Unless by cry I meant go out and slaughter an entire village of sandpeople who kidnapped my mother.
V
[quote]Hallowed wrote:
[quote]Vicomte wrote:
[quote]Hallowed wrote:
Not to get all Dr Phil here… but… (IMHO)
The major FEAR that is triggered in people when they are dumped that is different than the fears that are triggered when someone dies is REJECTION
Its an ego wound.[/quote]
Not applicable.
Guy’s father offed himself. That’s rejection on a fairly epic scale.
This is about jealousy. [/quote]
Interesting… I like that perspective.
Good food for thought.
I have some personal experience in this area (suicide) and actually hadn’t ever looked at it that way before.
Goddammit.
[/quote]
I think suicide is more self rejection and feeling hopeless, leaving loved ones behind to struggle trying to figure out why.
[quote]Hallowed wrote:
[quote]Vicomte wrote:
[quote]Hallowed wrote:
Not to get all Dr Phil here… but… (IMHO)
The major FEAR that is triggered in people when they are dumped that is different than the fears that are triggered when someone dies is REJECTION
Its an ego wound.[/quote]
Not applicable.
Guy’s father offed himself. That’s rejection on a fairly epic scale.
This is about jealousy. [/quote]
Interesting… I like that perspective.
Good food for thought.
I have some personal experience in this area (suicide) and actually hadn’t ever looked at it that way before.
Goddammit.
[/quote]
Rejection wouldn’t bother people at all if it wasn’t followed by acceptance of someone else. It’s always about jealousy.
Dead people don’t spend time with anyone, but your ex-girl does.
Hence, jealousy.
[quote]tootles27 wrote:
[quote]Hallowed wrote:
[quote]Vicomte wrote:
[quote]Hallowed wrote:
Not to get all Dr Phil here… but… (IMHO)
The major FEAR that is triggered in people when they are dumped that is different than the fears that are triggered when someone dies is REJECTION
Its an ego wound.[/quote]
Not applicable.
Guy’s father offed himself. That’s rejection on a fairly epic scale.
This is about jealousy. [/quote]
Interesting… I like that perspective.
Good food for thought.
I have some personal experience in this area (suicide) and actually hadn’t ever looked at it that way before.
Goddammit.
[/quote]
I think suicide is more self rejection and feeling hopeless, leaving loved ones behind to struggle trying to figure out why.[/quote]
Drug addiction is self-rejection/hopelessness. Suicide is a rejection of life/circumstances, and pain, dishonor, or whatever else. Suicide used to be a noble death, before modern psychology dug its claws into it.
When you get right down to it, killing yourself takes serious balls. I don’t think we should minimize the courage involved. It doesn’t get more serious than taking one’s own life.
The really hopeless people don’t possess that kind of willpower.
[quote]Vicomte wrote:
[quote]tootles27 wrote:
[quote]Hallowed wrote:
[quote]Vicomte wrote:
[quote]Hallowed wrote:
Not to get all Dr Phil here… but… (IMHO)
The major FEAR that is triggered in people when they are dumped that is different than the fears that are triggered when someone dies is REJECTION
Its an ego wound.[/quote]
Not applicable.
Guy’s father offed himself. That’s rejection on a fairly epic scale.
This is about jealousy. [/quote]
Interesting… I like that perspective.
Good food for thought.
I have some personal experience in this area (suicide) and actually hadn’t ever looked at it that way before.
Goddammit.
[/quote]
I think suicide is more self rejection and feeling hopeless, leaving loved ones behind to struggle trying to figure out why.[/quote]
Drug addiction is self-rejection/hopelessness. Suicide is a rejection of life/circumstances, and pain, dishonor, or whatever else. Suicide used to be a noble death, before modern psychology dug its claws into it.
When you get right down to it, killing yourself takes serious balls. I don’t think we should minimize the courage involved. It doesn’t get more serious than taking one’s own life.
The really hopeless people don’t possess that kind of willpower.[/quote]
Courage to me means dealing with life and not turning your back on it. Cowards take the easy way out.
[quote]tootles27 wrote:
[quote]Vicomte wrote:
[quote]tootles27 wrote:
[quote]Hallowed wrote:
[quote]Vicomte wrote:
[quote]Hallowed wrote:
Not to get all Dr Phil here… but… (IMHO)
The major FEAR that is triggered in people when they are dumped that is different than the fears that are triggered when someone dies is REJECTION
Its an ego wound.[/quote]
Not applicable.
Guy’s father offed himself. That’s rejection on a fairly epic scale.
This is about jealousy. [/quote]
Interesting… I like that perspective.
Good food for thought.
I have some personal experience in this area (suicide) and actually hadn’t ever looked at it that way before.
Goddammit.
[/quote]
I think suicide is more self rejection and feeling hopeless, leaving loved ones behind to struggle trying to figure out why.[/quote]
Drug addiction is self-rejection/hopelessness. Suicide is a rejection of life/circumstances, and pain, dishonor, or whatever else. Suicide used to be a noble death, before modern psychology dug its claws into it.
When you get right down to it, killing yourself takes serious balls. I don’t think we should minimize the courage involved. It doesn’t get more serious than taking one’s own life.
The really hopeless people don’t possess that kind of willpower.[/quote]
Courage to me means dealing with life and not turning your back on it. Cowards take the easy way out.
[/quote]
How quaint.
Living a mediocre life is far easier than ending one. Ends are final. Finality is terrifying.
[quote]Vicomte wrote:
[quote]tootles27 wrote:
[quote]Vicomte wrote:
[quote]tootles27 wrote:
[quote]Hallowed wrote:
[quote]Vicomte wrote:
[quote]Hallowed wrote:
Not to get all Dr Phil here… but… (IMHO)
The major FEAR that is triggered in people when they are dumped that is different than the fears that are triggered when someone dies is REJECTION
Its an ego wound.[/quote]
Not applicable.
Guy’s father offed himself. That’s rejection on a fairly epic scale.
This is about jealousy. [/quote]
Interesting… I like that perspective.
Good food for thought.
I have some personal experience in this area (suicide) and actually hadn’t ever looked at it that way before.
Goddammit.
[/quote]
I think suicide is more self rejection and feeling hopeless, leaving loved ones behind to struggle trying to figure out why.[/quote]
Drug addiction is self-rejection/hopelessness. Suicide is a rejection of life/circumstances, and pain, dishonor, or whatever else. Suicide used to be a noble death, before modern psychology dug its claws into it.
When you get right down to it, killing yourself takes serious balls. I don’t think we should minimize the courage involved. It doesn’t get more serious than taking one’s own life.
The really hopeless people don’t possess that kind of willpower.[/quote]
Courage to me means dealing with life and not turning your back on it. Cowards take the easy way out.
[/quote]
How quaint.
Living a mediocre life is far easier than ending one. Ends are final. Finality is terrifying.[/quote]
Being mediocre is hardly a reason to off yourself. No one has ever called anything I said quaint! (:
[quote]DJHT wrote:
[quote]super saiyan wrote:
Heartbreak??!! Pfff. Try being offered free pizza after your workout.
WWVD[/quote]
Or being a Cowboys fan at 1-2 record. [/quote]
This. I’m lost in life right now. My world has been turned upside down, but 14-2 should fix that
Keep up OP.
[quote]DBCooper wrote:
[quote]AdamC wrote:
DB, that doesn’t make any sense and you know it. Thanks for playing.[/quote]
Bullshit. It makes perfect sense.
The death of a loved one is much easier for you to deal with because it affects not only you but everyone else who was close to those people. Knowing that you are not the only one who has lost a loved one makes it easier for you to deal with that loss because of the sense of a “collective loss”. When others feel your pain along with you, you can handle it better due to a feeling of “community”, for lack of a better word.
But when some dude smashes your heart to pieces, you are the only one experiencing that particular pain. You are alone in your heartache and so your attitude is “oh, woe is ME. How ever will I make through it this?” Perhaps selfishness is not the best word to describe it, but this is a clear-cut case of self-pity and (to me anyways) self-pity is a form of selfishness.
After all, as much as you may hurt from the death of a loved one, losing a close person isn’t nearly the same as losing one’s life. The loss of a life cannot compare to the loss of a boyfriend; they aren’t in the same league, yet what hurts you more? The loss that affects YOU, the loss of your man, not the loss of a life of a loved one.
Death is absolute, breakups are not. Somewhere in your head you have probably thought “well, that person is dead and since ADAM can’t ever get that person back, there’s no need for ADAM to feel bad about it for too long.” But regarding your breakup, you probably harbor some hope, however small, that you and your ex will or can get back together again. “ADAM can get this person back so ADAM feels more pain about this because it lingers longer since there is a possibility that ADAM can have a relationship with this guy once again.”
Since there isn’t anything for YOU to hope for regarding death, it’s over and done with for you and you’ve moved on. But since the relationship is possibly NOT over with for YOU, then the hope lingers and this lingering can cause extra pain.
I’d be willing to bet that you are consumed by the thought of your own death much, much more than you are about the thought of your mother’s death or your grandparents’ death or the death of anyone else close to you that is likely to die before you do. [/quote]
Despite the fact that you seem to think I’m either a gay man, or a female, that post made a lot more sense. Your first didn’t the way it was written. But yeah, it’s pretty hard to fault your rationale.
[quote]FattyFat wrote:
What you’re experiencing is normal, Adam.
I’m not intending to come across as jaded, nor am I in any way trying to downplay your situation.
I’d look for support from friends for that.
There are also support groups for people who’ve lost people dear to them.
Without trying to go amateur psych on you: people who support a family member or a friend who’s about to die are usually in a tight spot: they won’t allow themselves to give in to the grief for a number of different reasons (respect for the person about to die, shame, fear of being seen as selfish, unfeeling etc.). Now, that the person is gone, you’re feeling the gap the person has left behind and since the person’s gone, you don’t have to show/pretend strength to him/her: nothing’s holding you back from feeling that grief. Thing is, though: the grief and pain are real and you gotta give in to that to get over it.
There’s nothing wrong with feeling weak for a while.
There’s nothing selfish with the way you’re feeling, right now.
I’m sorry for your loss. Good luck.
[/quote]
Thanks to you and everyone else who has offered sincere advice.