What to Do When Nothing Works?

Training
42

Ditch the PT. Probably some kid or guy who has done nothing aside from learn how to string together 5 machine movements.

Find yourself a coach - a good one - in a gym where people have similar goals to your own - not trying to tone with burpees. Ideally, you’ll train in a group setting.

As for greatness, I personally have known no one who would be considered great. Some have achieved some good things but nothing that will be remembered in 25 years beyond their friends.

That doesn’t mean they lead lives which weren’t purposeful, had meaning and were generally good lives.

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43

I’ve met many, many happy, successful people. Not many of them were that way because of their deadlift numbers. I think you need to talk to someone more qualified to deal with these issues. And by qualified, I don’t necessarily mean letters after their name, it can just mean real people in your life.

In terms of lifting, try any of the above programs or suggestions. Hell, try all of them over the course of a year. Be proactive in finding what works

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44

This. The whole “I’ll be happy if…” mentality isn’t healthy. The “if” just changes to something else once you achieve it.

Be happy within yourself now and everything you achieve is extra. Easier said than done, I know, but you have to try.

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45

@Stronkfak
*I’d rather be dead than ridiculously below average

I’m still weaker than the average guy who doesn’t lift. After two years of training, that’s not average and that’s not bad either, it’s below anything that could have been expected from anyone with even the lowest of standards. Even anorexic girls training with pink dumbbells could expect more than that.
Self development books are either common sense or BS. This is even worse than bodybuilding bro science.

There are only two kinds of problems a person can have :
-A problem which isn’t really one. It has a simple solution, but people just don’t want to suck it up. Eventually, it solves itself, sometimes very easily.

  • A problem with no straightforward solution. In this case, this is very bad news, because it usually doesn’t solve itself. Ever. At least, not without opening up another can of worms.

I know this particularly.
“Mom, why does no one likes me ?”
“You always stay by yourself and don’t form bounds to help you with bullies”
“Mom, everyone can make friends but not me. What’s wrong ?”
“Nothing is wrong, my child, you just need to put yourself out there”

Decades later, at Uni, I’m secretly told by a prof. that I have aspergers, and it is strongly implied I am watched very closely, probably because they consider me to be a danger to self. (Even my internet history is being secretly watched, but they probably can’t know I’m posting right now, since this site is httpS, and I don’t have a trojan on my comp. Yes, they will see I visit this site, but they won’t bother to look through it as I also visit many other sites without posting ever.)

Now, as if it weren’t enough, I can’t put on any muscle at all. I’m not a slow gainer, I’m a non-responder.

So yeah, everytime there is a serious problem, I’m always told it doesn’t exist or it is readily solvable. That’s why I never seek help. Because I’m never helped constructively. I could have fucking cancer and be bound to die within a week, mom would say I’m doing great. Yes, this is THAT bad.

Mom is a doctor (therapist actually), and she still denies I have anything wrong (she knows it’s not true, but she doesn’t tell me). I’m not sad for not making friends. I just don’t give a damn. I was, when I was a little kid, because I had no hobbies and used to be picked on because of being weird and shit. But I didn’t really want friends.

I also hate being social because in this world, it seems like having a hobby and being a man is strictly forbidden. People make fun of lifters and say they’re stupid and that I should find another hobby because lifting is not classy. No, I shouldn’t be lifting. It’s beneath classy people like Us, the French. I should become a marathon runner or a violin virtuoso instead. Basically, I absolutely cannot chose my hobby. It’s never good enough.
When I ask why I’m not making progress to anyone, they always either pretend there’s no problem (“you’re making awesome progress with a 135 lbs bench” -everyone at a commercial gym) or try to embarass me (“You’re not trying to become Hulk are you ?”, “Lifting is for stupid roid-raged fucks anyway”). This is so cliche it makes me incredibly resentful. I take it as an insult everytime. I mean, what’s next ? Neighbourhood cats being able to fly and shit rainbows ?
Sorry, I’m a soon-to-be physicist, I’m not stupid, most of my time is being spent on physics or maths problems, I already work hard (and I do progress a lot, outside of the gym). I just need to take a breath from time to time. My life already revolves around things intellectual.

Thanks for your post through, it is encouraging, if only I had acquaintances who lifted and weren’t half as boring as they are (and were also at least half as smart and funny as they pretend to be), my life would be WAY better. Unfortunately, I live in France, land of the boring and the politically correct…

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@Aragorn

Yes, I’ve tried the lunge thing before (found this trick by sheer luck) and it works to some extent, when the swelling is very minor. However, once it’s set, I cannot bend my knees too much, because the excess bone growth (which looks like a mushroom) is pushing against soft tissues. Then it’s an endless cycle. The bone rubs the tissues and make it swell, the tissues take up more room, and the bone rubs even more on it. In that case, I usually just have to call it a day (or week…) and rest.

Being stuck before a 300 lbs bench press is perfectly normal. Most people aren’t made to bench press 300 lbs no matter what people say. I know I will never reach this, not because I am a pussy or don’t know how to train, but because it is genetically impossible. I am framed like a girl (maybe less, my wrists are smaller than some girl’s and my shoulders are very narrow, perhaps narrower than my hips) and lifting don’t make bones grow bigger. Small bones, small muscles. I should still be able to lift 225 lbs if I were healthy. Being stuck at 225 is not the same as being stuck at 155

As I said, I cannot get help IRL. I live in France, everyone is boring, no one likes lifters, they are hated with a passion throughout the country. My acquaintances are cliches. They’ll just tell me there’s no problem and that I should focus on school instead even though I’m a good student and well ahead of them, with broader ranges of interest and knowledge, while they do nothing but barely pass and are happy with that. My dad hates sports and mom, who is a doctor and a psychiatrist, still believes that we belong to some movie-like intellectual family or some shit and that shaving makes hair grow much stronger (ROFLMFAO). And that going to the gym is either stupid or doesn’t help for weight loss. I mean, what can I do ? I can’t carry these guys to greatness, they wouldn’t be able to notice it even if it were poured on them.

@TrevorLPT

I live in France, near Paris, land of the boring and the politically correct. In this country, lifting is similar to being a terrorist or an animal when outside of a gym.
I’m so ashamed that when I play dota or some shit and I’m asked about my nationality I usually lie and pretend to be british or american.

@tsantos

It seems like there are no good coaches in this whole country. Or at least, they don’t get enough publicity because of the sheer hate of the french towards lifting in general. The closest, decent commercial gym to home is already 25 mins away by train, and needless to say, by decent, I just mean they have a squat rack and a bench. No one in this gym can lift for shit, and those who do are just naturally big and still might not even have an idea of what they should be doing.

I really wish I could find a great powerlifting coach (and a natural one who worked hard for it, not a roid user or a naturally big-framed guy. Because what worked for him won’t work for me). Unfortunately, this is not possible in France. In France, it’s either empty promises by “coaches” who want easy money, or no coach at all. I’m so jealous of you Americans. Want a great coach ? Just walk to the nearest gym and here you go.

I don’t know anyone great either. Anyway, a 2 plates bench isn’t great. 3 plates isn’t either. 4 plates, some guys will remember you at the local gym. That’s not what I’m asking for, because I know this isn’t achievable. 2 plates should be.

@dagill2

True, but I am not them, we do not share the same interests. I am not going to become a monk because some of them are happy. I want to become good at activities I have personally chosen, because that’s what a hobby should be by definition.
There are no people that I know sharing my interests and who are able to teach me shit. Else I would have asked them for advice.

All in all, thanks for the feedback, this post is getting hella long (hopefully within the sites word count limits, lol). I take into consideration all of the options you offered, routine-wise.
Maybe I’ll go to the doc and ask for my test levels to be checked.

46

Here: http://www.crossfitxiii.fr

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47

ok, so I did feel kind of bad for you, but now I think you’re at best a troll, or at worst a whiny little douche.

I’ll assume the worst though, and respond on the assumption that you’re a whiny little douche.[quote=“azeqsdwxc, post:45, topic:218637”]
I’m still weaker than the average guy who doesn’t lift. After two years of training, that’s not average and that’s not bad either, it’s below anything that could have been expected from anyone with even the lowest of standards
[/quote]

your diet sucks. That’s why you’re not getting bigger and you’re not getting stronger. You’ll probably now tell me your diet is brilliant and you eat perfectly every day but you don’t, so save yourself the time. In your whole opening post you don’t mention your diet except to say you got fat once - further proof it sucks.

Even if you are eating a lot, it’s not good enough, so eat better. I started lifting at 5’ 11" 130lbs and I guarantee my skinny-ass genetics are at least as terrible as yours. Suck it up, princess. If it was easy everyone would do it. You’ve only been at this for two years. In the lifting world that’s the blink of an eye.

Sure, you’ll read stories on the internet of guys deadlifing 400lbs the first time they try the lift or dudes like Jay Cutler winning heavyweight bodybuilding shows a year and a half after they start training, but these guys are NOT the norm which is why they’re writing about themselves on the internet anyway. No one writes about average.

If a program “doesn’t work” it’s because you either didn’t work hard enough or pay enough attention to recovery.

I’m not saying ALL your problems in the gym can be solved by a better diet, but I et they probably can. If I could go back in time and tell young Yogi one thing, it’d be to pay more attention to diet. I cried about being a “hardgainer” for years until I got that shit locked down, then all of a sudden I become a somewhat normal gainer.

Eating right = getting bigger = getting stronger. Even for you.[quote=“azeqsdwxc, post:45, topic:218637”]
“Mom, why does no one likes me ?”“You always stay by yourself and don’t form bounds to help you with bullies”“Mom, everyone can make friends but not me. What’s wrong ?”“Nothing is wrong, my child, you just need to put yourself out there”
[/quote]

Oh you poor, poor little darling. Would you like a cuddle? How awful to have a mum who is unconditionally supportive and positive. Woe is you. You could do a lot worse. Believe me.

225lbs is 1.25x your bodyweight (ish - my maths isn’t great). Benching that is not an easy thing to do and the average gym rat can’t do it, especially not after 2 years. Don’t fixate on that. Everyone has good lifts and bad lifts. Train and eat right and you’ll get it.[quote=“azeqsdwxc, post:1, topic:218637”]
2 years is a long time and most people start with my weights
[/quote]

No, in terms of lifting it’s really not a long time and who cares where other people start at? And who are these other people you’re comparing yourself to? Why does it matter what anyone else does?

You know what I think when I see someone stronger than me? Not a thing; I’m too focussed on my own workout to be anything other than indifferent and you should be too.[quote=“azeqsdwxc, post:1, topic:218637”]
Am I genetically prevented from getting stronger in any way ?
[/quote]

No.

Lol. Aren’t you the guy who spends all his time doing physics and has no friends? Sounds like you’re waaaay more interesting than all the boring people in your country. Maybe give the bitterness a rest, yeah?[quote=“azeqsdwxc, post:45, topic:218637”]
Anyway, a 2 plates bench isn’t great. 3 plates isn’t either. 4 plates, some guys will remember you at the local gym
[/quote]

2 plates is good, and VERY few untrained people can do it. 3 plates is damn good and 4 is downright monstrous. It seems you have a weird standard when it comes to what is impressive.

We have some damn impressive lifters on this site who have never hit a 4 plate bench. They’re really not very common.

go one further and get him/her to check for the presence of a nutsack and whether said nutsack contains even the very slightest vestige of testicles.

I’m hungover today and grumpy, hence the tone of my post, but seriously kid instead of being a little bitch about it all take charge of the situation. I promise I really am trying to help.

48

Start : meat and pastas
now : meat minus pastas

with 200g of proteins a day and around 3kcal I don’t know how I could have done it better.

Muscles just didn’t grow. If they did, you would say I became strong. But I did not because of that part. Even if I were healthy, cutting to 1kcal would certainly not have made me gain any fat, but it wouldn’t have got me any stronger and you know it.

Yes, France is boring. May I quote my english teacher :

“Last time I was strolling around Paris, I saw a group of weightlifters, and there were girls too. Damn, what’s happening to France ?!” as if it were a bad thing.

2 plates is insane for an untrained guy, not so much for a lifter. 3 or 4 plates is insane for anyone. But it happens. (I have never seen a 4 plates bench. But I have seen some guys who clearly can do 3)

I wish I were trolling.

Edit :
Why does it matter what anyone else does?

It matters because it is one way to discern whether you’re doing something wrong or not.

49

The fact that this is all the information you could give me on your diet speaks volumes.

Eh, what? Yes, I do know that cutting to 1000 cals wouldn’t make you stronger but given it’s entirely irrelevant I have no idea why you would mention it and I don’t really care enough to take it any further.

sssswwwwwooooooossssshhhhhh

That’s the sound of me losing interest in you. Best of luck with it all.

50

Get Wendler’s 531 Book from Amazon. The first one.

Read it cover to cover, twice, so you have a fair understanding of the ideas.

Pick a template. I would suggest Big But Boring.

Follow his instructions on diet and lifting on it EXACTLY as written for 5 cycles.

Start a training log here and list your workouts and how you felt doing them.

As for your knees, what do you do to prevent inflammation?

I just spent the last year dealing with knee problems from a usage injury from too many hockey games/refereeing in a weekend in May.

Last September I couldn’t walk, let alone play hockey.

MRI’s should some cartilage tears, but nothing that had to be operated on immediately.

I had plenty of people tell me “You should stop playing hockey”, “You’re too old to weight lift”, etc.

I iced my knees throughout the day, took NSAIDs, supplements. Restarted my 531 lifting. Figured out how much recovery my knees needed between lifts to recover and adapted.

Last week I skated 7 hours of hockey, including refereeing four games at an adult tournament, and play my league game.

And did my squats and deadlifts.

You either find a way to make it work or you find an excuse.

Don’t make excuses.

51

Obviously if nothing works then you should stop doing anything.

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52

Being big and lean and strong is executing a bunch of simple habits every single day. Problem is they are a total pain in the arse and you need to prioritize them ahead of much more fun stuff. It is such a pain in the arse that most of us won’t get there. Especially as some of us see sitting on our arses doing nothing as a priority.

As you are so far from your goal, I would accept where you are and focus on getting better at practising good habits every month.

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53

To add onto this; one of the biggest misconceptions unhappy people seem to have is this idea that everyone else is walking around happy all the time.

Happiness is an EXTREMELY fleeting emotion, experienced in limited and controlled quantities. Even on some of the happiest days of my life, I wasn’t happy the entire day.

Most adults, even “happy ones”, spend far more of their time simply content, and even then, a lot of that content time is spent more ambivalent. The people that are happy 24/7 are most likely psychotic.

Don’t chase the happiness dragon. You’ll never be the sort of happy you think everyone else is, because no one is that happy.

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54

To add to this, I think you’re confusing “happy” with “moving towards happy”. In many people, this looks similar. I, for one, am only truly unhappy when I’m not making positive steps towards happiness.