I had a REALLY long answer ready to go - I just had to copy and paste a quote. And then I realised the source material for the quote was better than ANYTHING I could come up with:
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
People spend their entire life trying to find the answer to this question.
I suggest you read several highly regarded religious texts, particularly the parts where they tell you what it means to be a good person, and acquaint yourself with the key ideas of the most highly regarded philosophers across a global spectrum.
That will probably be a good starting point for developing your own idea of what it means to be a good human.
I take it you were referring to men who have characteristics or possessions that can induce feelings of love (or infatuation, which is often confused with love) by women, not actually making women feel something.
I know two men well who have had several women profess love to them, despite their abuse to women and other people and awful characteristics and actions, including lying, cheating, stealing, and addictions.
Sounds good. I do not like giving unsolicited advice, nor do I like to come across as some know-it-all older man. However, I had some confusion, actually a great deal of it, in my younger years. With that said, do you mind if I chime in with more thoughts regarding what you are divulging with here?
I’ve found damaged women have a higher penchant for attracting abusive partners… And vice versa.
You’d think if you’d had an abusive parent, prior abusive boyfriends/girlfriends would allow the individual to instantaneously close in on red flags during the initial stages of a relationship… But no, somehow these red flags are intertwined with love, support and affection for (some) of these people. As if berating your partner and cutting them off from the rest of the world is indicative of showcasing love and affection.
Perhaps they’re looking for a partner that mimics a largely absent and/or highly problematic parental guardian they had growing up. Perhaps insecurity triumphs and they feel as if they don’t deserve any better? I know people who were/are extremely promiscuous as it served as a means for them to feel validated. Being the town bike = people want me, people like me… That’s not how it works. Being the town bike = shitty people are going to USE you.
I suppose if that’s all you know and/or all you’ve been conditioned to know, you’ll associate toxic traits and behaviours with love, affection and support.
That’s unfortunately part of growing up. Trying to navigate and find your place in the world. Figure out who you are and what you want out of life
In current era society it’s not hard to be aimless, directionless without the slightest clue as to where you ought to go when you’re young.
I don’t think someone’s path ought to be predetermined, but a little nudge in the right direction isn’t always a bad thing. When I refer to “the right direction” I refer to a means to feel as if you’ve got a sense of purpose in this world.