What Have You Learned?

Off Topic
1

I saw a poster in my high school counselor’s office where it said: “I’ve learned that…” and then throughout the whole length of the poster were random people and their age and pretty much what they’ve learned about life. They said things like: “…when you worry about something, it never happens - John Smith, 45” or “…when you give food to people in school, it makes them smile - Johnny Smith, 8”

Im not sure if this will be a success here at T-Nation, but let me start it off:

I’ve learned that…

…life is all mentality; everything you do needs inspiration and motivation otherwise there really is no positive life you can live - B.b. in stress!, 18

2

People forget things easily.

3

No matter how much someone begs you for advice, and no matter how well you spell it out to them, when they get it, they won’t do it anyway, because it wasn’t what they wanted to hear. Unless they are one of those rare people who actually seek out information and apply it.

4

After handling Jalapeno peppers, you should wash your hands before taking a piss.

5

[quote]B.b. in stress! wrote:
I saw a poster in my high school counselor’s office where it said: “I’ve learned that…” and then throughout the whole length of the poster were random people and their age and pretty much what they’ve learned about life. They said things like: “…when you worry about something, it never happens - John Smith, 45” or “…when you give food to people in school, it makes them smile - Johnny Smith, 8”

Im not sure if this will be a success here at T-Nation, but let me start it off:

I’ve learned that…

…life is all mentality; everything you do needs inspiration and motivation otherwise there really is no positive life you can live - B.b. in stress!, 18

[/quote]

Johnny Smith is pretty short.

6

Create your own happiness.

7

Not to eat yellow snow.

8

[quote]Welsh Warrior wrote:
People forget things easily.[/quote]

ha. Too Right.

9

[quote]pookie wrote:
After handling Jalapeno peppers, you should wash your hands before taking a piss.
[/quote]

And use a good soap! sometimes just a rinse isn’t enough.

10

No matter who you are, what you do, or what your status is, you are always two things in life: a teacher, and a learner. You can’t teach without being a learner, and you can’t learn without being a teacher.

11

for domestic harmony, lift toilet seat up before you pee.

12

[quote]pookie wrote:
After handling Jalapeno peppers, you should wash your hands before taking a piss.
[/quote]

priceless! i’ll add also before itching around your eye. i’ve done that. DEE DEE DEE!

13

if you’re married and have a credit card that has a strong fraud prevention mechanism built into it, don’t use that card to blow $2k in a titty bar. while your passed out with big fake titties being rubbed in your face at 5 AM, the missus might just be at home intercepting calls from the credit card company.

or so I’ve heard…

14

No good deed goes unpunished.

15

[quote]jm89074 wrote:
if you’re married and have a credit card that has a strong fraud prevention mechanism built into it, don’t use that card to blow $2k in a titty bar. while your passed out with big fake titties being rubbed in your face at 5 AM, the missus might just be at home intercepting calls from the credit card company.

or so I’ve heard…[/quote]

dont get married

16

TC is god.

17

  1. Don’t put up with any shit from apartment management companies.

  2. A refrigerator thrown off a 2nd. floor apartment balcony, makes a hell of a lot of noise when it hits the parking lot.

18

Only rely on yourself.

19

What really matters…
“Murphys Laws of Combat”

  • If the enemy is in range, so are you.

  • Incoming fire has the right of way.

  • Automatic weapons . . . aren’t.

  • Suppressive fire . . . won’t.

  • Don’t look conspicuous, it draws fire.

  • There is always a way. When in doubt, empty the magazine.

  • Teamwork is essential. It gives them someone else to shoot at.

  • No combat ready unit ever passed inspection. No inspection ready unit ever

    passed combat.

  • The easy way is always mined.

  • Beer maths: two beers times 37 men equals 49 cases.

  • Things that must be together to work usually can’t be shipped together.

  • Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support desperately.

  • Anything you do can get you shot, including doing nothing.

  • Tracers work both ways.

  • Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.

  • Professionals are predictable, it’s the amateurs that are dangerous.

  • The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:

    (a) when you’re ready for them and

    (b) when you’re not ready for them.

  • If you can’t remember, then the claymore is pointed at you.

  • The important things are always simple. The simple things are always hard.

  • The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.

  • A “sucking chest wound” is nature’s way of telling you to slow down.

  • If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.

  • Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.

  • Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.

  • Make it tough enough for the enemy to get in and you won’t be able to get out.

  • Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.

  • All 5-second grenade fuses will burn out in 3.

  • If you’re short of everything but the enemy, you’re in a combat zone.

  • When you have secured an area, don’t forget to tell the enemy.

  • Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.

  • If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will have more than your

    fair share of objectives to take.

  • When both sides are convinced that they are about to lose, they are both right.

  • Professional soldiers are predictable, but the world is full of amateurs.

  • Murphy was a grunt.

20

A muthafuckin SHARK ATE ME!