Hey Jenn
This is going to sound a bit weird, but instead of telling her how good it is, and give her all sorts of advice try another approach.
Ask her why she wants to train, what she expects of training, open minded questions. Take her out for a cup of coffee and talk to her about everything other than workouts.
So she will be her own motivator, I think telling others what to do and what is best for them is not always a good thing, especially when it comes to changing habits.
If she herself says I would like to get in better shape, and ask her how she could train around her sore muscles, she might say I have sore legs, and she would see that she could train other parts of the body.
Itās some psychological shit I know, but it works.
That is if you care for her, and wants to be her friend, maybe for later in your life, someone to go to the movies with, go for an occasional evening out you know.
Ahh I donāt know, just a suggestion.
thatās actually really good advice, thanks @mortdk!
You are very welcome, you are one of my favorites around here and I love seeing you do good.
Some people are weak. Not physically, but mentally. They tend to have shitty lives because they arenāt able to push through difficulties. One of the first things they do is make excuses to justify their failures. Until they start taking responsibility for their failures, theyāre almost beyond help. Sympathy is kind of wasted on them.
Youāre about as far away from that profile as possible. I donāt think thereās anything that you wouldnāt fight through.
But the fact that she saw Jenn for help, is a sign that she wants to change her way of life.
Itās just hard to do so. Changing a lifetime habit is not easy and the body and mind would tell you not to do it.
It takes time and patience and if sheās nice, then take the time and she might not be a fitness queen or even go to the gym but she could be a good friend and hopefully she would go to the gym at some point.
Yes, she did. Except she wanted all the help and none of the work. If she was really fixed on changing her life, sheād have gotten to work on her own. Victims make themselves, and I know this from my own personal experience. The moment you push back and say, fuck this Iām fixing it, youāll never be a victim again. Youāll hurt, youāll be scared, youāll fail, sure. But youāll never be a victim again.
I hear you Mark, but itās a bit like addicts they want to change but itās very hard.
I work with young criminals who really wants to get out of their life and habitsā¦ And itās just not something you just do.
Telling them all the benefits seems to push them away, asking open questions about why the change and what could happen if they changed, just seems to work, but not from day to day.
Me, you and Jenn and many on this site is so focused on our goals. We establish the goal, get the head down and pursue it.
Thatās just not how the majority of peeps function.
Look at @Frank_C who proudly just set a new weight PR. He could go the other way and in a few month he would have set a new pr on low weight.
You did it yourself last year lean and ripped, then started adding weight again on purpose.
That is just working for us we have that goal oriented mentality we canāt just put it on other peeps.
Sorry Jenn for the rant on your log
You are not dead inside! You are right, you have experience in pushing through obstacles and in doing so have acquired it as a skill. You are light years ahead on her in this aspect, it takes time to acquire a skill!
The fact that she set out to ask you for help shows that you have set a good example for her which is a massive deal. Everyone needs heroās even if they canāt match up to them! Donāt let her drag you down, and cut her off if it gets to be too much!
Just making that post shows that you care and are not heartless. Nobody likes to hear excuses when you know they are not legitimate. You are a good person for taking her situation into consideration. Itās obvious to everyone that you are not dead inside, looks good on you for continuing to be patient and kind with her. She probably doesnāt even realize that sheās being unappreciative and is just not in the right frame of mind to think about anything other than her current situation.
Sheās depressed. And for good reason.
I think sheās just desperate for some kind of reprieve, and she sought the gym out as a means to an escape. Maybe she really wants it, but maybe it canāt happen now, not until sheās done some soul searching/grieving.
And youāre not out of line to give her some truth. Though, I think she just wants to be coddled and told itās going to be okay and that youāre there for her, more so than she wants to work out. Sometimes we seek pity to justify our sadness; normal. Itās not a bad thing either, plus we all go through periods where weāre on the edge and all it takes is one thing to set us off.
As for me, I sometimes fail to empathize with others for the same reasons. Iām never not tormenting myself somehow, and Iām always so pissed at complacency that I canāt NOT push myself harder, so when others drop the ball so easily, itās certainly hard to not lash out. Soā¦youāre not a bad person nor are you a sociopath. Things get awkward, they can be fixed.
This.
Thanks for sharing your opinions you guys . Its always nice to hear things from other perspectives 
. Iāve known her for a long time , and sheās always been very lazy , but given the shitty state her life is in right now Iāll continue to be patient for a while .
BDAY squats
95lbs x 8
135lbs x 8
145lbs x 8
155lbs x 8
160lbs x 8
Pin squats
150lbs x 4
165lbs x 4
Paused bench
95lbs x 3
105lbs x 3
110lbs x 2 sets of 3
100lbs x 2 sets of 3 for 5yr long pauses
Db split squats ss landmine press
17.5lbs / bar plus 10lbs
X 8 / x 12
17.5lbs/ 15lbs
X 8 / x 12
Bulgarian split squats 17.5lbs x 8/ BW x 12
Land mine cont. 20lbs x 6 , 10lbs x 10
Single leg ext
40lbs x 10
30lbs x 2 sets of 10
Step mill intervals x 20 min
Cable ass kick back x shit
Lateral raises 7.5lbs x 30
Donnnnne
Wt: 124.0
Such a great birthday , my heart is smiling. So many texts from co workers and even the girls at my massage place got me and gabe cupcakes.
I feel so loved . Not just by friends and family, but by myself too .
Got my nails done, my hair trimmed , great massage. Just treated myself without guilt . Relaxed without guilt. Ate without guilt .
Itās strange to say , but I feel like I went from hating myself for 30 years to loving myself in 4 months with no in between. I skipped tolerating myself and liking myself lol . I put a rush on it I guess. Was long overdue anyway . Letās hope it lasts another 55yrs
BYE
Happy birthday
omg happy birthday human
Happy birthday Spock!
Congrats on another year kicking it above the soil! Hereās hoping youāre enjoying life as much as I am in your 50ās and beyond. Easier said than done, but stop second-guessing yourself so much, youāre a good person in your core, and your first instincts are usually right.
Happy birthday Jenn 
Happy Birthday Spockie!