When I was in the boy scouts many years ago, we went camping at this place called Camp Helendade for a week-long shindig. For some reason, there were a ton of bees in this area. I recall this horrible sting on my dick, ran into the bushes, pulled my shorts down and saw a bee fly out of them. Yep, you guessed it, I got stung on the tip of my dick. It hurt BAD for a few days, yet sported a decent schlong for a few days as a 10 year old.
I also have tendencies of pulling my hamstring while fucking a chick doggystyle.
[quote]rds63799 wrote:
twisted my ankle chasing after a ned (that’s what we call young people who go out drinking, taking drugs and causing trouble where I come from) trying to get him to smack my ass.
Dunno why I did it, luckily I was drunk enough not to feel it at the time. I can just vaguely remember chasing him being like “C’mere and smack my ass!”
When I woke up in the morning I didn’t really remember doing it and had no idea how bad it was so I got out of bed, put my weight on the fucked up ankle and collapsed. Not a great way to start the day.[/quote]
lolwut?[/quote]
you’re Scottish, you never have any fun with neds?[/quote]
Nothing outside the expected of getting jumped when young and getting into scabby bar fights in shitty clubs/work night outs
When I was in my early 20s after my athletic career was over, got mixed up collecting debts for some bikers, I was all juiced up, anyway 5 guys held me down and took a 4lb sledge to my right hand, made it mush. It took a year and I think 7 operations to get it back, now my hand is full of pins, and there’s a cable that runs down from my elbow so I can operate my pinky and ring finger, it’s been like 15yrs, it doesn’t hurt much except really cold weather, and it clicks and clacks a bit.
Needless to say left that lifestye shortly after, A big part of my life now is talking to kids, steering them in the right direction, doing lectures,turned a negative into a positive
Was driving a golf cart (best way to start an injury story) and drove under a tree with low branches. One of the branches, probably 1 1/2 inch diameter, pulled back across the windshield of the cart, and whipped into my face. Required stitches, no broken bones. When it happened I couldn’t feel my jaw, and was convinced that I was going to have to explain to everyone I knew how I broke my jaw playing golf. Was also lucky it didn’t hit any other part of my face.
[quote]AnytimeJake wrote:
When I was in my early 20s after my athletic career was over, got mixed up collecting debts for some bikers, I was all juiced up, anyway 5 guys held me down and took a 4lb sledge to my right hand, made it mush. It took a year and I think 7 operations to get it back, now my hand is full of pins, and there’s a cable that runs down from my elbow so I can operate my pinky and ring finger, it’s been like 15yrs, it doesn’t hurt much except really cold weather, and it clicks and clacks a bit.
Needless to say left that lifestye shortly after, A big part of my life now is talking to kids, steering them in the right direction, doing lectures,turned a negative into a positive[/quote]
Twisted an already sprained ankle by walking on wet wood in high school. My athletic weights coach was more confused than I was.
Dislocated (and probably broke) my right ring finger and left middle finger by poorly catching a medicine ball. My excuse was that I was not wearing glasses. The worst part was that I could not hold anything heavy without straps for a few weeks, and my fingers were at least twice their original circumference. Also, have a weird bump on my first knuckle on my left middle finger but no idea what happened.
Had a guy in cleats step on my right hand during a rugby game that caused it to swell to twice its size.
Also, separated my right shoulder (second time in a season) from doing too many scrums in a game. The first time I separated it I don’t even know how it happened.
And the best for last: I almost broke my ass by jumping out of a tree into snow. I thought it would be a soft landing, but my feet slipped forward and almost all the momentum was stopped by my tailbone. It hurt so bad for the next to days that sitting was uncomfortable, squatting any bit caused me to almost tear up, and standing up from a chair was a lost cause. Plus, leg day the week afterwards was also not the most fun.
Sprained my left ankle while about to dunk on some poor soul. He stuck his foot under my take off foot because he knew what I was about to do. Went to the hospital and got a temporary cast. When I took it off 3 days later it looked like a surgical glove had been inflated to the max.
Pulled my back while picking up a plastic room key in a hotel room. Should of braced my core.
And the best for last: I almost broke my ass by jumping out of a tree into snow. I thought it would be a soft landing, but my feet slipped forward and almost all the momentum was stopped by my tailbone. It hurt so bad for the next to days that sitting was uncomfortable, squatting any bit caused me to almost tear up, and standing up from a chair was a lost cause. Plus, leg day the week afterwards was also not the most fun. [/quote]
I’ve done this 3 times!
First time, as a kid I was (tightrope) walking on a metal rail. In an instant each foot slipped of on opposing sides of the rail. I barely had time to get my hands down to save the testicles but the tail bone crashed down on the pipe. I laid curled up in fetal position in a field for about an hour before recovering enough to make it home. Pretty sure I broke my tailbone.
The second time I was pole vaulting as a high school pole vaulter. I went up to try to clear a crossbar but I didn’t penetrate in far enough. Usually a pole vaulter is aware if he is going to fall short but I was inexperienced and it was a big high pressure meet and I came down not having a clue I was in danger. The first thing that hit was my tailbone on the box that you stick the pole in. My first thought was I might have broke my back and I had heard you should never move someone who broke their back. As everyone swarmed around me I shouted “Don’t touch me!” Then I tried to move my legs, they moved. Then the pain set in and I shouted “HELP ME!” LOL Pretty sure I broke my tailbone.
Third time I was snowboarding with my son. I went off a heavily used jump so the snow at the landing was compacted and as hard as concrete. I felt like I landed it perfectly but like you stated above, my board shot straight out in front of my and my tailbone hit square on the ice. I nearly had a bowel movement. The worst part though was trying to get safely home with my son. This happened in my 40’s so there were ramifications all the way up my spine and I could barely move my head. I’m pretty sure I broke my tailbone.
My friends and I thought it would be fun to demolish this old dvd player a la Office Space. Trouble is the thing was made back in the good ol’ days and had a solid metal casing. I chipped off a piece of my knuckle punching it.
I have two very, very minor inguinal hernias (one on each side pretty symmetrically). Despite being a powerlifter, these were actually incurred during sex, not lifting.
And the best for last: I almost broke my ass by jumping out of a tree into snow. I thought it would be a soft landing, but my feet slipped forward and almost all the momentum was stopped by my tailbone. It hurt so bad for the next to days that sitting was uncomfortable, squatting any bit caused me to almost tear up, and standing up from a chair was a lost cause. Plus, leg day the week afterwards was also not the most fun. [/quote]
I’ve done this 3 times!
First time, as a kid I was (tightrope) walking on a metal rail. In an instant each foot slipped of on opposing sides of the rail. I barely had time to get my hands down to save the testicles but the tail bone crashed down on the pipe. I laid curled up in fetal position in a field for about an hour before recovering enough to make it home. Pretty sure I broke my tailbone.
The second time I was pole vaulting as a high school pole vaulter. I went up to try to clear a crossbar but I didn’t penetrate in far enough. Usually a pole vaulter is aware if he is going to fall short but I was inexperienced and it was a big high pressure meet and I came down not having a clue I was in danger. The first thing that hit was my tailbone on the box that you stick the pole in. My first thought was I might have broke my back and I had heard you should never move someone who broke their back. As everyone swarmed around me I shouted “Don’t touch me!” Then I tried to move my legs, they moved. Then the pain set in and I shouted “HELP ME!” LOL Pretty sure I broke my tailbone.
Third time I was snowboarding with my son. I went off a heavily used jump so the snow at the landing was compacted and as hard as concrete. I felt like I landed it perfectly but like you stated above, my board shot straight out in front of my and my tailbone hit square on the ice. I nearly had a bowel movement. The worst part though was trying to get safely home with my son. This happened in my 40’s so there were ramifications all the way up my spine and I could barely move my head. I’m pretty sure I broke my tailbone.[/quote]
If I am reading your stories correctly, you may or may not have broken your tailbone, but I am pretty sure you did.
[quote]csulli wrote:
My friends and I thought it would be fun to demolish this old dvd player a la Office Space. Trouble is the thing was made back in the good ol’ days and had a solid metal casing. I chipped off a piece of my knuckle punching it.
I have two very, very minor inguinal hernias (one on each side pretty symmetrically). Despite being a powerlifter, these were actually incurred during sex, not lifting.[/quote]
That is what you get for going on whaling missions!
He saw a cat and launched after it. Leash was wrapped around my leg, and you’re not stopping a 70 pound pitbull at full tilt while standing on ice. Distinctly remember hearing the ‘crunch’ with my inner ear. The dog felt shamed and came over and lay next to me with his ears back- he knew I was jacked up. Hopped on one leg the rest of the way home…
Got 14 stitches opening a can of Copenhagen.
Used a surgically sharp knife to open the can while drunk and not paying attention. Hand slipped, and ‘snik’ that fast I had a gash across the top of my hand. Blood, blood, blood. Laughter.
Stabbed myself cutting a watermelon in two.
Using a sawing motion back and forth across the melon, I placed the other hand on the side to stabilize it. And…thunk. Pointy-end went in about half-inch, and cut tendon or something to my left pinky, which is still jacked up.
One day, I was doing weighted dips on parallel bars with some steps to get up on the bars. I do my warm up sets no problem. When I’m doing my work sets, I have two 45’s on my chain belt. I get pumped up and hammer out my set. As I’m stepping down from the bars, some JACKASS LEFT A PLATE RIGHT BEHIND THE DIPS BARS. I ended up rolling the living shit out of my ankle. That jackass was me, leaving my warm up weights behind the dip bars. I swore I broke my ankle until an X-ray confirmed otherwise. I was in crutches for a week. That ankle still bothers me from time to time.
Another story comes from the wonderful sport of snowboarding. A friend and I hit the mountain on a day they were having races apparently, so we have to go on runs that we weren’t used to riding. Conditions were terrible that day as well (super icy). We end up at the terrain park in front of some big tabletops. My buddy goes first and I follow. Now, as a beginning snowboarder, this is obviously the smartest thing to do. I hit the jump and land fine, but it’s icy as shit and my board slips from under me. BAM! I plant directly on my shoulder on the concrete ice. Complete shoulder separation. My buddy is already down the mountain and I end up losing him all day long. I got skied down to the medical facility and they gave me some percocet.It turns out, the doctor volunteering that day was a shoulder and knee specialist and does hundreds of surgeries a year, so I lucked out there. After a surgery and much rehab, I am able to train at nearly 100% with it. I still don’t barbell bench, but I’m not missing out on much anyway.
This was in 2010. I’m working my night machine shop job running a cutoff saw. I had to keep moving the support stand as the bar of steel got shorter. So I just push it with my foot as I hold the bar up. This time, my foot slips up the base of the stand and my shin makes hard contact with the stand.
I saw all sorts of stars, walked around in circles until the pain subsided enough. I had a lump on my shin and it was tender, got home and iced it up. Still hurt like a mofo even 10 days after… finally my lower shin started swelling and my foot started turning black and blue. I knew it was time to bite the bullet and go see my ortho doctor.
He takes x-rays and yup… I broke it. I got 8 weeks off from my day job with full pay and since I was in a cast, I could do the night job, which was cash and off the books. The boss had me doing mostly paper work and assembly jobs.
First, when I was probably in 3rd or 4th grade I was running from my brother in the front yard and i looked back for a second, turned around, and SMACK, ran right into a tree. Cut my head open on my eyebrow and now I have a scar there, missing a little hair.
Second, I was riding my bike in the back yard when I was in 3rd grade and the brakes were on the pedals, not handles. For some reason I couldn’t stop and ran straight into a column of bricks that was part of our fence. When I hit it, I got this crazy stinging feeling and immediately grabbed my dick. I felt something cold in my pants and lo and behold I had cut my dick open. Went to the hospital and got stitches, got a scar from that one too.
[quote]AnytimeJake wrote:
When I was in my early 20s after my athletic career was over, got mixed up collecting debts for some bikers, I was all juiced up, anyway 5 guys held me down and took a 4lb sledge to my right hand, made it mush. It took a year and I think 7 operations to get it back, now my hand is full of pins, and there’s a cable that runs down from my elbow so I can operate my pinky and ring finger, it’s been like 15yrs, it doesn’t hurt much except really cold weather, and it clicks and clacks a bit.
Needless to say left that lifestye shortly after, A big part of my life now is talking to kids, steering them in the right direction, doing lectures,turned a negative into a positive[/quote]