Ok, I have been single for three years now and have tried the traditional wait and be approached by the man routine and it is not working.
How do you guys feel about a woman making the first move? Be it in a club, on a personals site, or in the grocery store?
Are you flattered or do you perceive her to be too easy, eager or desperate?
Fellow Vixens, what have your experiences been ??
Thanks in advance for your input.
Have a big girl’s night out on Saturday.
Afterthought…because I understand men are visual creatures…this is me…although I am currently 20 or so pounds lighter and have muscle definition starting to emerge.
Also, Men…if you personally have trouble approaching a woman you find attractive, why?
Just trying to get a better understanding on this and hear a Man’s side of it.
I don’t give a shit about first impressions. I am what I am. She is what she is. If it’s bound to happen it will. If sparks are there, fine. If sparks are not, too bad. If I have doubts, I dig more.
Sure, if you’re in the meat market, all types of techniques can be used to alter your chances to score, they’re like a spare tire: will get you somewhere, some of the time, but long-term it won’t get you far without a need to change.
I prefer the rare homeruns to the common simples, doubles and triples. Depends on what you want, obviously!
I can say that if I were still in the game, I’d be interested.
If i were single, would it scare me away if you made the first move? Depends a bit on what, exactly, that move was. If aggressive means clocking me and dragging me to your cave by the hair, then no, that isn’t gonna work. If aggressive means expressing interest, then yes, that would work quite well.
I personally like assertive women and find that quality very attractive. My feeling is that confident men will welcome your advance. Weasels will not and will avoid it.
I dated on Match.com and found that many of the women on that site were assertive and made no bones about it. In fact they had so many e mails from men that they pick and chose who to date. I am talking about 50-100 e mails epr day.
Based on your photo I don’t think too many guys are going to kick you to the curb if you approach them. My two cents.
Too bad you live in Pittsburg plenty of nice single guys in Philly!
Heck I would be very flattered if approached by a woman. I tend to be on the shy side, so I dont normally approach women, especially if she is attractive. Who am I kidding, I never approach women…haha. Regardless, I dont necessarily see any reason why a guy would perceive you as “easy” if you approached him. And if he does, then he is obviously someone you should steer clear of. Albeit if you came up to him and said, “hey, is that a keg in your pants? Cause I’d tap that ass.” Then you might be perceived as easy. But, if you approached a guy and just said hello my name is (insert name here), and just had a normal conversation, than I am almost certain that he would be flattered. And judging by your pic, I’m sure he would brag to his buddies that you hit on him…(wink wink).
As a “shy” guy I hate the fact that it is usually up to the guy to make the first move. It always sucks to put your balls on the line so to speak. In any case, I am sure some our very own t-vixens will be on shortly (~karma~, bigprljamfan, stella, elveneyes, eva, cassanova, maureen t. vixen perhaps?) and they will give some insight. Should be interesting!
Whether assertiveness is attractive or not is a personal call. Some guys will crawl into their shells and hide. Others will think, “Cool, easy lay.” Others will think, “Thank God, a woman with a backbone.” Every guy is different. I know that’s not what you wanted to hear, but the topic is pretty broad.
One of the most memorable (and successful) come-ons from a woman happened a couple of years back. I had just finished working out at the gym (college) and was sitting in the lobby talking to a friend. This girl who had been lifting in the gym came out into the lobby and sat down with what ended up being her sister. This girl was built pretty damn awesome for a girl (low body fat, some good muscle, and strong).
Well, I’m sitting there talking, when she yells over, “Hey, you wanna arm wrestle?” That broke the ice quite nicely. We ended up going out. Even though it didn’t work out in the end, it definitely had a good start.
when I was single, I thought it was cool if a woman made the first move–suggested to me that she could be assertive and had a sense of what she wants and how to get it–even if I wasn’t interested, I respected the attempt (and liked the ego boost)
in fact, my current partner made the first move–she and I have been happily together for more than 2 years now
A girl that makes the first move is very much appreciated by guys. I honestly don’t know of one guy that’s ever been “turned off” by some unsolicited female attention. Within reason, of course. There was this incident at a bar where a chick who obviously had way too many beers basically threw my friend against the wall and started molesting him. That kind of sucked. Well, not for me, because I thought it was hilarious. Ahem, uh, but you’re a mature and intelligent woman so I’m sure you won’t do that. Very attractive too. No one’s going to be disappointed.
Wrestling is a terrific flirting tactic
So are back rubs.
And if you start either of them, I’ve never had a guy refuse!
Shit, go out and get them. If they say no, move on to the next one.
Iron Maiden, I thought that pic was somebody showing off their girlfriend.
Take it from me, you are a hottie.
As for your question, here's how I feel. Some girls do better by making the first move, others do better by waiting for the guy to make the first move.
Particularly if the girl looks/acts too agressive (as though she's hyped up on ephedra and is out to change the whole world) than if she made the first move it wouldnt work with me.
You on the other hand have a sweet yet strong and in control look. You dont look agressive, you look in control. If I was approached by a girl like you who made the first move - and as well endowed as you might I add - I would get a good impression of you. I think if YOU make the first move, you will come out as sure of yourself and in control, not as agressive and dominant.
Good luck!!! Hey, you wanna try a first move on me and see how it works? lol
Your smile looks great. I think that most guys assume that most other chicks are dating or married, otherwise we would be a lot more gutsy in talking to women. And yes, by all means talk to a guy , b/c any real man would want a woman to have a mind of her own.
-lumbernac
Don’t mind assertive women at all, as long as they show some respect. I’ve been approached by women a couple of times; once, it was something straight out of a movie. Girl grabs my butt and winks at me. The other woman sat down at my table, says that she saw me smoking my cigar from across the room, and wanted to know if I’d like to dance. Can’t beat moments like that, especially when your buddies are sitting there with their mouths hanging open. As for why men have problems approaching attractive women, that’s easy; you are putting yourself in a position to be rejected, which can be a blow to your ego. Men tend to assume that attractive women are already attached, or won’t give them the time of day. And there tends to be personal experiences to back this up. You know, the really hot girl in 9th grade who laughed at you when you asked her out? I heard a story about Gene Simmons, the legendary womanizer of Kiss. A person saw him go up to 20 different women. He actually only managed to get the number of one of them. When asked about it, he responded that he never worried about the rejections, he concentrated on the ones who said yes.
Yeah, being approached by women is very cool, although the coy little glances and smiles at the beginning of “the chase” are definitely a turn on too.
IM
Whatever you’re comfortable with doing is what you should do. You’re really attractive, great smile, and presumably in shape. The aforementioned three will get you at least a conversation with whatver guy you want to talk to.
The bad thing about men is that we spend our youth being afraid of getting our ego smashed by women and therefore won’t go out on a limb. By the time we figure out that all the babes can say is no then it’s too late. Oh well.
My wife was very assertive and I’ve still got her 15 years later. She’s still very assertive! Good luck!
Life is too short, I think if you want something, go for it. A man who can’t handle a woman who knows what she wants is a pussy and I already have one of those.
I tend to be a little shy initially, that coupled with a look that is usually defined as “exotic” (not my definition, but I have a bit of an ethnic thing going), seems to make people assume I am a bitch or unapproachable. I have also been told I am difficult to read, so I think if I waited for every guy I was interested in to make the first move I’d be a lonely virgin. I usually end up making the first move and I can honestly say I have not ever been turned down. I think men find the interest just as flattering as we do, even if it doesn’t turn into something significant.
I will say that as I have matured I find that a subtle approach is more effective, and I generally wait until I feel like there is some sign of interest on his part, but I have never been turned down.
IronMaiden, props to you for having the guts to approach guys you’re interested in. I’m always flattered on the rare occasions a woman does that. You will only scare guys away if you do the same mistakes guys make in approaching women (being nervous, too eager,rude, etc.) The upside is that by approaching guys you’re increasing your chances of being with the kind of man you want instead of having to settle amongst the men who approach you.
