5/6/19
Just felt like typing this up as an update, because I won’t be logging any training…because training isn’t happening.
I woke up Friday morning with the familiar feeling of a floating pain at slightly under mid-back and to the left of my spine about 3 inches (not a big deal, had it hundreds of time since I was a kid, never clashes with training and goes away within a day or two). I think of the rib as being the issue. Floating rib maybe, but it could be my terrified brain trying to convince myself it’s not a disc in my spine.
Anyway…
Next day, I was stretching by side bending hard to the right (as if to perform a DB side bend) but I was leaning over excessively and pretty stupidly because I’m neurotic and tend to contort my body in frustration when I experience floating pains or aches of any sort. Right after this, I had a slow building trigger point that steadily climbed from discomfort, to pain, to unbearable pain and weird clicking and popping sounds in that aforementioned area, and now a day later I’m pretty much out of action.
It feels like I have an ice pick jammed between what feels like my floating rib and someone is prying them apart. The pain only exists when I move. Twisting my spine to the right causes most of the pain but flexion does cause some pain as well and if I look straight down it’s an immense pressure in the area; then upon looking up after having my head down, causes even more pain, which is scaring the shit out of me because that screams (to me, given my ignorance) lateral thoracic bulging disc which could potentially cripple me.
I’m obviously going to get this looked at soon, but this is the worst possible thing I could imagine happening. There’s nothing worse than an injury that happens outside of lifting for seemingly no good reason.
I often have a voice in my head telling me to just quit. I have a horribly disfigured body that lends itself to some pathetic mobility and a plethora of chronic issues that are exacerbated by the lifting I do, and then I see big name athletes with great mobility and body symmetry throwing in the towel due to injuries at some point in their career and it makes me think how the fuck I have the nerve to assume that’s not going to happen to me, but earlier, and at a far worse circumstance e.g. catastrophic injury or being essentially crippled at 25 years old.
Not to digress as to make this the point of this all, but for the sake of venting, sometimes passion is a plague. This is killing me but it’s something I love so much and it’s a huge part of my identity. I could just be overreacting as I sometimes do at the early stages of injury, and I just need to focus on healing and getting back to 100%.
Anyway, the return to degradation. Oh so welcoming. Feel free to slap some logic into me, good or bad, or shed light on the issue implying any of you can do so until I see a professional.