Valentine's Day for Men

Off Topic
81

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]SmilingPolitely wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

It’s sort of sad how engrained this sex-as-currency thing is. And how limiting it is.
[/quote]

Oh Jesus.

Noone told you to be a whore, you were told to slut it up.

Whores get money, sluts do it for fun.

Jesus.

One would think that fucking a guys brains out and to cook something… but nooooooooo…

<---- Iz dissapoint. All I hear is excuses.

[/quote]

Are you serious, or do you just like giving Em shit?

Seeing as I feel awkward attributing characteristics to Em, I will use myself as an example.

If I am regularly a slut with my boyfriend, it is not really a gift to do it for V-Day. Sex is a given. No one is debating that sex will happen multiple times in various positions and rooms over the course of the holiday. We all agree that sex is good, being sexy is fun and all that happy shit. HOWEVER, this fact would be just as true for a weekend in April as it would for V-Day.

The sex as currency comment comes into play when it is assumed that men are to buy women flowers, chocolates and jewelry and, in exchange, she is to dress skanky and let him PIIHB. THAT is using sex as currency to me. I don’t do those things so he will buy me things (or because he bought me something), I do them because we both ENJOY them.
[/quote]

I am authorizing you to speak for and attribute characteristics to me, SP. lol

Orion, god, you make me sad sometimes. You are so mired in your assumptions that it really doesn’t occur to you that a woman might happily do all the things you’re talking about for the sheer fun of sharing the experience. I will say, however, that I don’t think “slut it up” is a term that quite applies to me in any context, because it implies the denigration of one’s self, which in my opinion I never, ever do. Now, others might differ. I recently did some dirty stuff in a car. Is that slutty? I don’t know, some people might think so. “Hot” was the label applied to it by the only person whose opinion I really value in these matters. He also expressed that he loves that I can be like that one minute and then back to my regular self, in jammies and ready to snuggle in front of the tv, the next. I suppose if sex is for barter, THAT is the exchange. Except it’s not, because I know he loves the cozy stuff as much as I do. Especially when both of us know that it can turn dirty again at any moment. Each act is its own reward. THAT is the point, and why holidays like this one are confusing, because built into it is the assumption that something is owed. But what, and owed for what?

[/quote]

Whaaaaaaaaat?

Whoa dude…

Food and sex.

Its not that hard.

82

Return of T-Vixen’s

Sigh…

83

[quote]2busy wrote:
Return of T-Vixen’s

Sigh…[/quote]

To make that very clear, this is a joke, there is no way I could not have…

84

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
and why holidays like this one are confusing,
[/quote]

Emily, where do you live?

( big city, small city, farm, mountain, sea side? )

86

[quote]Alpha F wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
and why holidays like this one are confusing,
[/quote]

Emily, where do you live?

( big city, small city, farm, mountain, sea side? )
[/quote]

In the quaint middle of nowhere, sort of. I don’t want to plan a romance-y experiential gift, though, because I don’t want to set a bar in year two that we’ll both have to meet in future years. Plus work day, etc. And he’s also asked me out already, so it’s his lead.

As I read this thread and all the differing views regarding what is enough and what is too much, I’m thinking I really should talk to him, maybe next time we’re in bed doing pillow talk.

87

[quote]pushharder wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

…built into it is the assumption that something is owed. But what, and owed for what?

[/quote]

Your train keeps falling off the trestle, Em.

None of the VD suggestions offered by the men here are found in the vein of “You OWE me, baby, now get going with the debt payment.” Sheesh.

You asked what would guys like for VD and we told you in distilled form, “Something sexual that is outside the norm.” If you normally cook in heels and apron and nothing else then sure, that aint a-gonna work for Valentine’s Day if you want to give him something special.

In that instance maybe you need to cook for him wearing a suit of armor (with a hasp and hinged pelvic plate). Or with angel wings with a 7 ft wingspan. Or by jumping out of a vagina-shaped cake with a jar of Vaseline in hand fluttering your eyelids with a buttplug already fully inserted. Or with a lingerie clad Asian chick, black chick and Caucasian chick singing “We Are the World” while the four of you tie him down and then give him a full body massage with a happy ending that puts him in a coma for a few hours.

It’s not that difficult. Em, don’t over-analyze. Don’t fret.[/quote]

He’s never mentioned wanting any of those things, Push. Never once. I don’t think he’d be interested, otherwise I’m sure I’d have heard!

89

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

He’s never mentioned wanting any of those things, Push. Never once. I don’t think he’d be interested, otherwise I’m sure I’d have heard![/quote]

You are frustrating.

Noooo, you would not have, you only know about 30%, maaayyybe 50% of the perverted shit that goes through his head.

Be that as it may, you dont get this whole frame thing.

He does not know that he likes it yet, but he will, once you are done.

90

[quote]pushharder wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]pushharder wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

…built into it is the assumption that something is owed. But what, and owed for what?

[/quote]

Your train keeps falling off the trestle, Em.

None of the VD suggestions offered by the men here are found in the vein of “You OWE me, baby, now get going with the debt payment.” Sheesh.

You asked what would guys like for VD and we told you in distilled form, “Something sexual that is outside the norm.” If you normally cook in heels and apron and nothing else then sure, that aint a-gonna work for Valentine’s Day if you want to give him something special.

In that instance maybe you need to cook for him wearing a suit of armor (with a hasp and hinged pelvic plate). Or with angel wings with a 7 ft wingspan. Or by jumping out of a vagina-shaped cake with a jar of Vaseline in hand fluttering your eyelids with a buttplug already fully inserted. Or with a lingerie clad Asian chick, black chick and Caucasian chick singing “We Are the World” while the four of you tie him down and then give him a full body massage with a happy ending that puts him in a coma for a few hours.

It’s not that difficult. Em, don’t over-analyze. Don’t fret.[/quote]

He’s never mentioned wanting any of those things, Push. Never once. I don’t think he’d be interested, otherwise I’m sure I’d have heard![/quote]

Ya never can tell…remember I’m just here to help.[/quote]

Haha, I know! And I appreciate it. :slight_smile:

91

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Alpha F wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
and why holidays like this one are confusing,
[/quote]

Emily, where do you live?

( big city, small city, farm, mountain, sea side? )
[/quote]

In the quaint middle of nowhere, sort of. [/quote]

Perfect ( you are so lucky ).

Kidnap him.

Rent a manual car if you don’t have one.
Get a pair of handcuffs, a bandanna and a bottle of water.

Valentines day dress normal, no hair straightener ( wild natural hair ), no make up.

Wait for when he has his back to you - handcuff him - briefly brush your nipples against his back and whisper in his ear in your lowest gutsiest, sexiest voice:

“You are under arrest…”

Yes, you and I know he can make a dent on your face and set himself free but I assure you he will surrender.

Trust me.

Blind fold him and guide him to the car. Don’t say anything just feel that power of desire…he will totally submit.

Trust yourself.

I want you to help him into the car and don’t forget to seat belt him. ( safety first )

Drive like you have never driven before. Like you are on a mission to take this men to the altar…wait.

As soon as you are out of cop territory screech tires, do wild dangerous ( yet safe ) turns. Over steer under steer ( you may have to watch Top Gear for this ) did I say screech tires? Leave that rubber on the road let him smell the smoke of your burning tires.

Fish tale don’t forget to fish tale and sent the car into a controllable spin. ( remember safety )

Ok, you may not know how to drive stick but that can work even better because he will be scared shitless and will admire your courage to do your first stick test drive with him in the car and without his help!

Find an isolated spot truly in the middle of no where with a tree or a bush.

Hand cuff him to a branch - remove blind fold.

Pace around him like a lioness…maintain eye contact. No need for words.
Feel that gorgeous primordial isness that is you, without make up, with wild natural hair, barefoot…

Pacing, eyeballing him…grab the tree trunk or dance poll around the bush like a free wild animal without a debt in the world… squat maintain eye contact with him…do sexy feline pull ups on the tree if a suitable branch is present. Use the tree to your advantage.

Free woman, free…no cards, no drinks, no food, just the gift of YOU.

Let him know in that ritual that YOU are a gift form nature to him.

Let him thirst and let him hunger while you present yourself as the greatest offering from this earth.

Get some water in the car and pour it on the ground.

Make some mud and take his shirt off: apply mud on him like he is the first man and this is God’s gift to you from the land.

Take your shirt off and apply mud to your breasts.
Then spread the mud on his chest with the mud on your breasts while sitting on him casually, like an animal licking each other’s coat in the field.

Look at him curious like you have never seen a man before…

And explore his nature and your nature with all that dirt on you both…

Look how simple he is and how easy it is to satisfy him and allow your bosom to be filled with gratitude and scream and howl until you spook all the animals in this sacred spot: The altar of your liberation where you sacrifice all your fears and anxieties for this man that you want to love.

No words, not thinking, just primordial sensations rushing through your body.

Of course, remember to untie him and bring him back home with you.

And just a big word of advice: Scan for gnats and fire ant nests - DO NOT make the altar there.

That will ruin everything and will give you a terrible rash.

Trust me.

Alpha F over and out.

92

OMG, hahaha! You live in the south, I take it, Alpha F?

Hahaha! Thank you. I’ll see what I can do. Luckily, I do drive a manual, he already has a good, healthy fear of the speeds I’m willing to go on our twisty back roads, and he got handcuffs for Christmas last year. I’ll have to see if I can find them next time I’m at his place.

Haha! I should email a note to myself so I don’t forget amidst all the exhilaration!

:slight_smile:

94

I think Valentines is a made up bullshit holiday to sell chocolate, cards and flowers. Therefore if you bought me something or did anything for me, I would mock you for it (while still eating the chocolate, antioxidants and all). Seriously though, I would much prefer a woman who gives me a surprise on a random day of the year, rather than something on a “scheduled” bullshit holiday.

What if you’re not in the mood? what if he isn’t? Are you going to really force a fake experience of love, lust or whatever it is you are planning? Just let the day pass, make fun of all the people who got suckered into spending money for a made up holiday and do something nice for him on another random day (based on your knowledge of his tastes and preferences).

If he gets you flowers, or chocolates, you should mock him, if he gets you a card, you should dump his ass, because not only is he a sucker, he is cheap as well.

V

95

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I don’t want to set a bar in year two that we’ll both have to meet in future years. [/quote]

I went overboard with this. On Christmas 5 years ago I proposed to my wife and that was really nice. Then a couple of years ago I signed the papers to buy our house and presented them to her on her birthday. Then last year we planned and conceived our son (right about on her birthday).

Now I’m tapped out. Where in the heck do you go from there?

96

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I don’t want to set a bar in year two that we’ll both have to meet in future years. [/quote]

I went overboard with this. On Christmas 5 years ago I proposed to my wife and that was really nice. Then a couple of years ago I signed the papers to buy our house and presented them to her on her birthday. Then last year we planned and conceived our son (right about on her birthday).

Now I’m tapped out. Where in the heck do you go from there?
[/quote]

See Alpha F’s post above! :slight_smile:

97

[quote]Alpha F wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Alpha F wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
and why holidays like this one are confusing,
[/quote]

Emily, where do you live?

( big city, small city, farm, mountain, sea side? )
[/quote]

In the quaint middle of nowhere, sort of. [/quote]

Perfect ( you are so lucky ).

Kidnap him.

… Detailed Instructions removed

Trust me.

Alpha F over and out.

[/quote]

That’s a perfect VD Gift!

98

Leave it to T-Nation to run this thread right off the tracks. My recap:

Em: Any ideas for a good gift for my bf?

T-Nation: Sex?

Em: Sex is covered. Any other ideas?

T-Nation: Have you considered sex?

T-Nation: Men sure do like sex.

Em: Sex is a given, I was thinking about something else to do as well.

T-Nation: You should totally have sex.

Em: Oooookay.

T-Nation: Why don’t you want to have sex?

God bless this place :slight_smile:

99

[quote]SmilingPolitely wrote:
Leave it to TN to run this thread right off the tracks. My recap:

Em: Any ideas for a good gift for my bf?

TN: Sex?

Em: Sex is covered. Any other ideas?

TN: Have you considered sex?

TN: Men sure do like sex.

Em: Sex is a given, I was thinking about something else to do as well.

TN: You should totally have sex.

Em: Oooookay.

TN: Why don’t you want to have sex?

God bless this place :)[/quote]

I don’t think sex was suggested enough in your recap, SP…

100

[quote]SmilingPolitely wrote:
Leave it to T-Nation to run this thread right off the tracks. My recap:

Em: Any ideas for a good gift for my bf?

T-Nation: Sex?

Em: Sex is covered. Any other ideas?

T-Nation: Have you considered sex?

T-Nation: Men sure do like sex.

Em: Sex is a given, I was thinking about something else to do as well.

T-Nation: You should totally have sex.

Em: Oooookay.

T-Nation: Why don’t you want to have sex?

God bless this place :)[/quote]

In all fairness she has been given nothing but great advice, from a male perspective that is. Guys really could not care less about Valentine’s Day.