[quote]justrob wrote:
Spend enough time in bars, pubs or clubs, or even just in the real world, and odds are you’re going to witness a violent confrontation. Not directly be the victim of one yourself hopefully, but see one at least.
The question is, do you get involved or not.
I’ve seen a few physical assaults - and sometimes I’ve stepped in, sometimes not. The times I’ve intervened, it was always the case of a girl being set upon a guy or bunch of guys. That’s not something I can let happen without doing something, or trying to. Guys being beaten, or guys or girls being verbally abused, I’ve generally stayed away from.
I’m not trying to be a tough guy here - I’ll openly admit I was absolutely shitting myself when I approached each and every one of those confrontations. Then for days after each event, I had to deal with the intense emotional and adrenal aftermath that’s hard to describe if you haven’t felt it. And on one occasion, intervening nearly cost me my life.
But I haven’t regretted any of my decisions to get involved to date. I can still see the faces of other male bystanders who turned towards the scene of the girl being attacked, watched nervously for a while and then turned away. I guess every man has to make up their own mind about what they should do - but they’re cowards in my book. (Actually what really got me angry - and still does when I think back to it - is how some of them came up to me/us when it was all over and asked if I/we needed any help. Yeah five minutes ago, you wanker.)
The reaction from my family and friends when hearing about each incident afterwards has been mixed. My girlfriend, understandably, has pleaded with me to walk away. More pathetically, both her father and mine separately told me never to get involved. (How the fuck could I NOT get involved! If that had been my girlfriend or my sister I sure as hell hope that someone else would have stepped in.) My mother and my closest friends understood.
I’m writing all this not to seem like a hero. Every bit of self-preservatory natural instinct within me was screaming for me to walk away from every violence I ever witnessed. And sometimes I did. Heck, even right now I don’t even know what I’d do if I saw something like that on the street tomorrow - in my experience, all preconceived notions of how brave you’d be and what you’d do, go right out the window the second you realise you’re in the middle of the real thing.
Perhaps I can’t be too harsh (though I am!) on those I call cowards. Perhaps I was also a coward for walking away at times when I should have stepped in. I don’t know and never will.
The point of this long-winded post is to hopefully kick off a discussion of how you guys who’ve been in similar situations have handled them. What you’ve learned, what you’d do differently, what you’d probably walk away from. Or anything related you’d care to share.
Regards, Rob
(Edited for detail.) [/quote]
I agree with everything that you have included as parameters to intervene. I always do the same; I would only add that if I see a child being hurt or abused I will always say/do something. I recently had a situation where I was traveling from Dallas back to Galveston and saw a guy kicking and punching a girl on the feeder road to I-45 about half way between Waco and Houston. BFE, for anyone who is not familiar with that stretch of road. I thought she is being kidnapped or car jacked. I always carry my gun on trips so I slammed on the breaks and got off to the side of the road.
My wife did not want me to go and help, but that is why I lift weights and own a gun, so that I am not afraid should I have to face confrontation. So I put the gun in my back pocket, took out my cell phone and began to run across the 150 yards of grass to the feeder road and the couple. When I approached it appeared that no harm was done to the woman, she had no visible marks and was not crying. The Guy told me that he was “Just playing around”. I told him that it was not funny and that he could shut the fuck up until I was done making sure that the woman did not need help. She assured me that she was fine and I let him know that since she did not need my help and was not visibly harmed that I would leave, but that I not only had a phone to call the police but that I had a gun on me.
I wanted to drive home the seriousness of such ignorant behavior and the potential danger that he brought to himself and others by imitating such an act in such a public area. I have no doubt that this woman is abused at home, but if she is not asking for my help, or in immediate need of my help it is not my place to do anything.
