Thought Of The Day-Bully Wars

Off Topic
41

kids have been getting picked on, made fun of and bullied from the beginning of time. You have to learn to stand up for yourself and then that stuff wont happen.

The only time I was ever “picked on” was in 6th grade. Just moved to a new school and some kid started making fun of me in class. He was teasing me throughout the whole class and the people sitting around were laughing. After class I went outside and punched him right in the eye (first time I ever hit someone). That was the last time I ever got “picked on” (if you can even call it that)

Kids need to stand up for themselves and have some confidence/people skills. Thats why I think it is so important for kids to get involved in sports at an early age. It teaches you things about hard work, team work and how to interact with other kids.

42

[quote]iamthewolf wrote:

[quote]Doug Adams wrote:
Bunch of spoiled spawn from asshole parents. The “bullies” need more discipline and the “victims” need actual guidance instead of coddling. [/quote]
this pretty much sums it up.[/quote]

x3

When I was 4years old I came home crying after another kid slap me in the face.
I told my brother: “So and so slapped me”,
He asked: “How old is he?”
I said: “3 or 4”
He responded: “Why did you not hit him back?”

I stopped crying right there, and felt extremely embarrassed. That was the end of bullying for me.

Yes I was a little on the nerdy side, and very much on the wierdo side. I was called Robocop, due to always acting out scify movies, drew a lot, tucked my shirts in, and pulled my socks all the way up.

But I always fought when pushed. The only years I didn’t get in a fight were 2nd Grade (but I did intimidate a guy), and 7th Grade. When I immigrated to the US in 9th Grade I read if I got in a fight I would be suspended from school. I hated that shit, now I had to avoid people.

Looking back I was thankful to grow up in an environment were boys fighting is considered normal. In H.S I saw that a lot of guys who needed to get in an actual fight or two, it would have helped them.

43

[quote]gregron wrote:
kids have been getting picked on, made fun of and bullied from the beginning of time. You have to learn to stand up for yourself and then that stuff wont happen.

Kids need to stand up for themselves and have some confidence/people skills. Thats why I think it is so important for kids to get involved in sports at an early age. It teaches you things about hard work, team work and how to interact with other kids.[/quote]

While I agree kids should stick up for themselves, that isn’t always the solution, unfortunately. I wished it was.

Growing up, many of the “bullies” hung in groups and stuck together… If you caught one alone and fucked him up (hopefully) you had the others come after you sooner or later.

There isn’t a clear solution to these types of problems.

44

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]gregron wrote:
kids have been getting picked on, made fun of and bullied from the beginning of time. You have to learn to stand up for yourself and then that stuff wont happen.

Kids need to stand up for themselves and have some confidence/people skills. Thats why I think it is so important for kids to get involved in sports at an early age. It teaches you things about hard work, team work and how to interact with other kids.[/quote]

While I agree kids should stick up for themselves, that isn’t always the solution, unfortunately. I wished it was.

Growing up, many of the “bullies” hung in groups and stuck together… If you caught one alone and fucked him up (hopefully) you had the others come after you sooner or later.

There isn’t a clear solution to these types of problems. [/quote]

they might come after you sooner or later and kick your ass… but if one on one you fucked one of them up then they probably wont be picking on you anymore. They’d look for some kid that doesnt stick up for himself.

Fighting back and getting your ass kicked one time isnt as bad as constantly being picked on cause you never stick up for yourself… But I totally know what you’re saying. Thats why you better have some friends and just get into an all out brawl :slight_smile:

45

I don’t know what things are like over there but I just don’t see victims going around bitching about their problems or having awesome, misguided self-esteem as a rule.

One of the problems today is that bullies spend time removed from their victim. In the past, if you wanted to bully someone a real human had to be face-to-face with another real human. These days they can put shit up on the internet.

The Milgram experiment (1965) showed us how bad this can make completely NORMAL people. After the war, everyone was wondering how the Nazis got so fucked up, and Milgram came along and showed Americans they weren’t any better - all it took was the right conditions.

I don’t care how anyone else handles it, but my kids will not have unfettered access to the internet or mobile phones. It’s a whole 'nuther level of cruel when kids form groups and can’t experience the consequences of their actions up close and personal.

46

[quote]gregron wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]gregron wrote:
kids have been getting picked on, made fun of and bullied from the beginning of time. You have to learn to stand up for yourself and then that stuff wont happen.

Kids need to stand up for themselves and have some confidence/people skills. Thats why I think it is so important for kids to get involved in sports at an early age. It teaches you things about hard work, team work and how to interact with other kids.[/quote]

While I agree kids should stick up for themselves, that isn’t always the solution, unfortunately. I wished it was.

Growing up, many of the “bullies” hung in groups and stuck together… If you caught one alone and fucked him up (hopefully) you had the others come after you sooner or later.

There isn’t a clear solution to these types of problems. [/quote]

they might come after you sooner or later and kick your ass… but if one on one you fucked one of them up then they probably wont be picking on you anymore. They’d look for some kid that doesnt stick up for himself.

Fighting back and getting your ass kicked one time isnt as bad as constantly being picked on cause you never stick up for yourself… But I totally know what you’re saying. Thats why you better have some friends and just get into an all out brawl :)[/quote]

I’m talking from experience, GR. I got into a LOT of fights from the time I hit grade school, until around the 10th grade. Then, it was mostly verbal garbage. I’ve gotten my ass beat plenty of times, but i’ve fucked up a few, also.

There are times where avoiding fights and ignoring the bullshit is necessary. Fighting is not always the answer.

If you’ve never been picked on to a large degree, then you have no idea what it’s like. I’m not being a dick… it’s just the truth.

47

[quote]imhungry wrote:
I’m talking from experience, GR. I got into a LOT of fights from the time I hit grade school, until around the 10th grade. Then, it was mostly verbal garbage. I’ve gotten my ass beat plenty of times, but i’ve fucked up a few, also.

There are times where avoiding fights and ignoring the bullshit is necessary. Fighting is not always the answer.

If you’ve never been picked on to a large degree, then you have no idea what it’s like. I’m not being a dick… it’s just the truth.[/quote]

Oh I totally agree. I’m not saying fighting is always the answer because it definitely is not. I definitely hear what you’re saying though.

I do not have much experience with being bullied but I’ve seen it happen quite a bit and I think that a lot of the time it would just take the kid standing up for themselves to stop or minimize the bullying.

48

[quote]gregron wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:
I’m talking from experience, GR. I got into a LOT of fights from the time I hit grade school, until around the 10th grade. Then, it was mostly verbal garbage. I’ve gotten my ass beat plenty of times, but i’ve fucked up a few, also.

There are times where avoiding fights and ignoring the bullshit is necessary. Fighting is not always the answer.

If you’ve never been picked on to a large degree, then you have no idea what it’s like. I’m not being a dick… it’s just the truth.[/quote]

Oh I totally agree. I’m not saying fighting is always the answer because it definitely is not. I definitely hear what you’re saying though.

I do not have much experience with being bullied but I’ve seen it happen quite a bit and I think that a lot of the time it would just take the kid standing up for themselves to stop or minimize the bullying.

[/quote]

Ya know, I was too scared back in middle school to actually fight the bullies. I did steal one of their gf’s though :stuck_out_tongue: haha, he didn’t like that.

49

I got “jumped” for the first time by two other boys when I was six. I was the only white boy on my block in Baltimore, MD near Greenmount and 33rd. Interestingly enough, I won that first fight. It was my first lesson in “status”. Many moons and many fights later, when I was fourteen, I was confronted by a large group of HS kids (between 15 and 20 guys). I knew I would lose, but I didn’t back down. I figured after I went down, they’d kick me a few times, talk some shit and go about their business. Well they ended up breaking a fence with my body, breaking my ribs, my NECK, etc… My mother didn’t recognize me in the hospital. She kept saying over and over, “that’s not my son…”

It’s times like these that define you (and not always in a good way). I didn’t press charges or give up any names. Everyone at school knew what happened and who did it, but I stayed cool. I healed up, licked my wounds and over the next few months, hunted every last one of those mutherfuckers down and gave them what they deserved. A few of them lost athletic scholarships because they could no longer run very well. I still have the bat. Unfortunately, I kept going down that negative spiral and kinda went off the reservation for a while. My response and retaliation definitely moved my life in a negative direction for a while, but that experience ultimately defined me in a positive way…

Fortunately both of my sons are freakishly large for their age and have not had to deal with bullying. But if they had to I have told them the same thing my father told me: “walk away if you can, but if someone gets in your face, head butt him in the nose and keep hitting him until you are pulled off”. That advice always worked for me when dealing with people in my face. They stop getting in your face after a while, imagine that?

It’s a whole different world now though. The PC folks have won the hearts and minds of “the system” to the point where they hand out trophies to the LOSERS at soccer and tee ball games now. Fucking ridiculous. It’s like they’re trying to erase ALL of our evolution in one generation by demonizing and legislating against simple status behavior. The social consequences and resulting backlash WILL be felt as a result of this poorly conceived social experiment. (IMHO)

50

What would it have been like to be homosexual in your neighborhood AC?

I imagine its pretty tough anywhere when your bullying is all but sanctioned by church. That’s a kind of bullying that standing up for yourself probably won’t fix.

51

[quote]angry chicken wrote:

It’s a whole different world now though. The PC folks have won the hearts and minds of “the system” to the point where they hand out trophies to the LOSERS at soccer and tee ball games now. Fucking ridiculous. It’s like they’re trying to erase ALL of our evolution in one generation by demonizing and legislating against simple status behavior. The social consequences and resulting backlash WILL be felt as a result of this poorly conceived social experiment. (IMHO)

[/quote]

WTF? Why give stuff to the losers? They lost. I know at the end of games we would go through the other team shaking hands or whatever saying “good game. good game…blah blah blah” like they still do in hockey, but trophies? WTF? Totally takes away the win from the winners. Being PC does not belong in sports.

52

[quote]Eli B wrote:
What would it have been like to be homosexual in your neighborhood AC?
[/quote]

I think if some kid made fun of you for being gay and you whipped his ass that would end things pretty quick. Nobody would want to make fun of the gay kid in school whose kicking everyone’s ass who makes fun of him lol

53

[quote]gregron wrote:

[quote]Eli B wrote:
What would it have been like to be homosexual in your neighborhood AC?
[/quote]

I think if some kid made fun of you for being gay and you whipped his ass that would end things pretty quick. Nobody would want to make fun of the gay kid in school whose kicking everyone’s ass who makes fun of him lol[/quote]

True. But I mean, theres a greater level of bullying going on for gays. Like if you were catholic once you figure out the churches stance on your existence every sunday is going to be a mindfuck until you reconcile that conflict. You can’t very well kick a priests ass can you…I mean…you could but it wouldn’t look great.

54

[quote]Eli B wrote:

[quote]gregron wrote:

[quote]Eli B wrote:
What would it have been like to be homosexual in your neighborhood AC?
[/quote]

I think if some kid made fun of you for being gay and you whipped his ass that would end things pretty quick. Nobody would want to make fun of the gay kid in school whose kicking everyone’s ass who makes fun of him lol[/quote]

True. But I mean, theres a greater level of bullying going on for gays. Like if you were catholic once you figure out the churches stance on your existence every sunday is going to be a mindfuck until you reconcile that conflict. You can’t very well kick a priests ass can you…I mean…you could but it wouldn’t look great.[/quote]

I knew a gay Catholic and I could never work myself up to ask that question. He was very devout and very against liberalizing the Church in any way. It’s almost like being a gay Republican…Your own people hate you, how do you justify that?

55

[quote]Eli B wrote:
What would it have been like to be homosexual in your neighborhood AC?

I imagine its pretty tough anywhere when your bullying is all but sanctioned by church. That’s a kind of bullying that standing up for yourself probably won’t fix.[/quote]

Calling someone gay was pretty much fighting words. I don’t recall anyone I knew actually being “out”… I’m sure there were gay people, but they damn sure kept that shit on the DOWN LOW. Keep in mind, this was back in the 80’s where it wasn’t accepted or widespread in the Media or anything like it is today. I mean this was back when MTV played JUST music… (and I’m old enough to remember when there WAS NO MTV). It was a totally different world back then.

As for the message from the church, I can’t speak to that. I never went to church - my mother was usually too hung over to get up.

I think that the post Black Panther era still held many of the views of that party (which did not approve of homosexuality). Half of the “old heads” in my neighborhood had panther tattoos on their fore arms and “black power” was a common theme in the neighborhood. I remember this well, because many times that translated into, “let’s beat up the white boy”! LOL

56

Just as everything has “changed” - girls dressing skankier at an earlier age, hazing getting more ridiculous, more suicides and violence in schools - why can’t we assume that the “bullying landscape” has changed (for the worse) in proportion to everything else?

Most of us aren’t in our teens anymore. Not even close. I was picked on, too, but never to the point of wanting to hurt myself. And I don’t recall picture messaging and video messaging being so ubiquitous that it was a natural medium for spreading rumor and scandal. I also don’t think the people that would hurt themselves over being bullied were mentally healthy to begin with. You aren’t just rock solid mentally one minute and then over the edge because someone called you “faggot.”

And with social media, news flies and flickers out just as fast, but that also means you are exposed to reactions with just as much speed.

I think the pace at which things are “changing” is far greater than the rate of maturity and sensitivity are improving toward sensitive topics - sexuality, body image, etc.

So, I think that disparity in rates of change necessitates a greater emphasis - from peers and parents - on teaching others how to navigate social situations. In other words, just expecting young people (a 12 year old committed suicide recently, right? another gay teen?) to “get it” isn’t exactly fair, but I’m also not saying they need hand holding. I’m saying what they face - is a crueler kind of harassment than what many of us went through.

But I also think what’s causing this unusual disparity is really a function of the times - our entertainment. We are sitting behind computer screens with less real life interactions per day, meaning less familiarity with awkwardness and social situations and greater social anxiety disorders. The kids that retreat behind video games and laptop screens I bet are far more likely to break down for a bit of bullying, less “hardiness” or whatever you want to call it.

And if anyone thinks I’m saying that bullying victims need to be coddled, you are an illiterate monkey who should lick my balls, because that’s not what I said.

57

[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]According to data collected by the department’s research wing last year, one-third of all students ages 12 to 18 felt that they were being bullied or harassed at school, Ms. Ali said in an interview.

“Folks need to wake up,” Ms. Ali said. “We have a crisis in our schools in which bullying and harassment seems to be a rite of passage, and it doesn’t need to be that way.” [/quote]

I got teased in school as a kid. I wore huge fucking glasses in junior high and that along with being a little smaller than the other kids meant I was a target. I was about a year younger at least than everyone else which is one reason as well.

Looking back, I can’t say much negative about any of it. Things like that are why I pushed harder. People telling me what I can’t do is one reason I am doing those things right now.

Where will kids be without any of that?

Do you really strive to be your best when you are constantly told that you are already your best right now?

How many of those kids in school that everyone thought were the coolest are the most interesting people right now years after high school?

Doesn’t that situation actually flip considerably around college?

Those “nerds” are the ones owning the companies (and your girls) 15-20 years later.[/quote]

A few kids tried to bully me, but I managed to avoid them well enough. They beat the shit out of, and otherwise emotionally destroyed, a couple of other kids at school.

However, both are in prison now. One of the kids who was getting bullied is on his way to being a doctor and the other one will be a teacher.

If I qualify into law, I get the feeling that I might be the one prosecuting the bullies when they (likely) re-offend. I’ll try not to hold a grudge.

PS. True story - this kid used to piss on plywood and then flick the wood, and thus the piss, at passers-by outside his house. His parents used to sit in the yard and watch him do it. If anybody questioned his behaviour, the dad would start a fight with them, beer can in hand and all.

58

For what it’s worth, the kid that ended up jumping off the bridge didn’t “bring it upon himself,” unless being gay means he deserved it. He asked his roommate to give him the room, his roommate used his webcam to see what what going on. He saw that the kid was with another guy, and got all weirded out (I probably would too).

Then, I believe it happened a second time, although I’m not sure, but the roommate decided to broadcast it online, without the kid’s knowledge or permission. The kid was really talented, but a huge nerd, so he probably wasn’t exactly in love with himself in the first place. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had never explored homosexuality before getting to college, where he was lucky enough to have something he was clearly embarrassed/uncomfortable about shown to everybody who wanted to watch.

I understand people want to talk about how kids need to learn to stand up for themselves, how being bullied can make you better, stronger, etc. But that’s if you survive it. I don’t think we should be focusing on teaching children to fight back and “toughen up.” There’s nothing wrong with teaching people to be nice, and doing shit like putting gum in someone’s hair, teasing them, or showing the world that they’re gay, is wrong.

59

[quote]Doug Adams wrote:
Bunch of spoiled spawn from asshole parents. The “bullies” need more discipline and the “victims” need actual guidance instead of coddling. [/quote]

this gave me a semi … no homo (nttawwt)

60

I don’t know if this has been touched on but what are they defining as “bullying”? When I was in JHS and HS I was picked on a bit but wouldn’t consider it bullying as I know it. I wonder how they worded their survey of students in the initial study and what definition of “bullying” they used when asking the question. The people conducting the survey could’ve wanted these results to pass their own agenda along so they worded the survey in a way to produce these results…

I think that the number of kids being “bullied” is rather inflated…