[quote]paulypaul wrote:
In light of some recent comments, especially dt79, I never said I was completely blameless in this mess. Yes it sounds one-sided, but hello, I want to get divorced, of course it is going to. I had the opportunity to back out before getting married and I did not, so I know I have to take responsibility for that. However, she did swear up and down, left and right, that all she wanted was to be with me, didn’t care about money, blah, blah, blah. Well as time has elapsed, that is very much not the case. It is now at the point where I feel her love is conditional based on what I buy for her. This is not the life I want, where I am on edge every day.
I also feel very bad if we do this and how it will upturn her and her daughter’s lives. She has always said if we were to ever break up, she would pack up her stuff and go, no questions asked. Well, just like her pre-marriage promises, that is probably a bunch of bunk as well. But am I supposed to forget about my happiness just to not cause pain to the two of them??
The whole thing with this feeling very bad and tough for me is the truth. Go ahead and bust my chops, but I have always been that way. Tough exterior, soft interior. I am going to therapy as well, which helps but only to a point. I don’t think getting a job will make that big of a difference either if anything she will expect the spending to increase.
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Aw man, you gotta admit you did put yourself in a rather silly situation. I posted my reply to csuili with many quotes from your previous posts to explain a statement i made and also to point out how silly your situation was from the start. Even you have to agree this is no typical divorce.
I mean, come on, now you are saying you got married because you were pressured into it and you believed her when she said she would pack her bags and leave when you decided to call it quits? You clearly don’t understand this kind of woman. If you don’t learn from this experience, this shit will happen again and again.
I am not one to lay blame on a person for shit in the past when present actions are what matter. I am merely illustrating the fact that you did undertake a responsibility to provide for both of them through marriage whether you regard it as a mistake or not. It isn’t like im bitching about what an asshole you are breaking your vows and blah blah blah. Get a pack of hens in here and you will not hear the end of it lol.
So, i hope that you realise you have an obligation to extend a hand to get them settled and provide assistance to the best of you abilities. AFTER THE LEGAL MATTERS ARE SETTLED. This should be a moral obligation, not a legal one. Till then, fight the good fight to keep whats yours and give what you deem fair after that. Good luck.
Btw, i agree that every individual has a right to pursue happiness and hope you are able to settle this and move on and find yours. I do also agree you need to lose the “girly dog”.
