OR, bacon, then egg in the bacon fat, then drain most of the fat and cook burgers, burger + fried egg with melted cheese between the egg and the burger + bacon + lettuce + tomato + a bit of mayo.
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To be fair, people 100% do it.
When my grandfather used to go camping, (well, week long hunting trips, so camping with guns) he packed along his cast iron skillet. Also hiked in canvas pants and flannels, carrying god knows how many packs of cigarettes and a big heavy 6 person tent for everyone to stay in. On the other end of the spectrum, you have guys with ultralight bivy bags who cut their toothbrushes in half to save the weight. So I suppose itās a bit of a spectrum on what your willing to haul through mountains.
Side story:
At age 65, my grandfather went to a doctor who took a look at his lungs, and proceeded to berate him for how he had abused his body. At one point, he tells me grandfather āI can tell that you took the elevator to my office because with your smoking, you wouldnāt be able to walk up the stairs,ā to which pops promptly replied ālast month I hiked 200 miles through Alaska; half of that carrying the pelt of the grizzly I shot.ā
For those following along, this is the same ornery old Korea vet who bares a striking likeness to the old man in Gran Torino
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Thatās just kind of his thing. All the Deadspin writers have a certain ātoneā to them, he can just be a little heavy handed at times. If youāre into the NBA or left leaning political writing, those two areas are where he shines best.
If heās legitimately afraid of Skynet, well, can ya blame him?
Story time. Dude pulls up to me on my bike, asks for a lighter. I tell him I gotta run back to my house to grab one, because Iām right around the corner. He gives me a ride to my house, I grab the lighter, hop in his car again, and smoke a cigarette with him. Immediately after, he asks if he can suck my dick. By this point, Iāve told him I have a girlfriend.
You know what I tell him?
Next time. LMAOOO
Thatās enough of Jersey for today.
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You hopped in a random dudeās car twice in Jersey (also, anywhere) because he asked you for a lighter?
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I was going to go off about that, too, but then thought maybe that was my female bias. Although I would blast any son of mine who got into an adultās car for a cigarette at 17, MUCH LESS leads the guy to a (presumably) empty house to get the lighter.
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Iām not a smart individual.
@EmilyQ you knew that already.
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Two Japanese businessmen are talking during their afternoon dip in the hot baths at the Geisha house.
The first businessman says, āHiroshi-san, I have some unpleasant news for you. Your wife is dishonouring you.ā His friend canāt believe what he hears and asks for more information.
āIt is as I said, Hiroshi-san. Your wife is dishonouring you - she is making love every afternoon with a foreigner of the Jewish faith.ā
Shocked, Hiroshi-san decides to go home and confront his wife. He faces her and says, āI am told that you are dishonouring me with a foreigner of the Jewish faith.ā
She replies indignantly, āThatās a lie! Did a yente tell you such mishegoss!?ā
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So obviously weāre way past this (sorry, Iāve been super busy with work & family and havenāt had as much time for the forums) but yes, of course. I played many games at Gesling Stadium. You can actually find a couple photos of me & a few of my teammates in the mural thatās painted in the hallway to the locker room, and our 2006 team photo (11-1 conference champs!) hangs over the hallway. ALSO: this yearās edition of the Tartans is off to a 4-0 start, so catch a few games if you can! Theyāre good this year!
I understand that lots of people donāt really get Division 3 sports, and thatās fine, whatever. My brief, impassioned defense is basically this - weāre all still really good players. Most of the guys on Division 3 football teams were team captains, all-county, all-state, whatever. Lots of people would be surprised to learn that the best kid from their local high school team quit whatever D3 school he went to after a year because he was 6th on the depth chart and was never going to play (I think thereās a presumption that heāll tear it up because a lot of people think D3 is just a glorified high school team). I played with a couple of really good running backs when I was in college (we had two 1,000 yard rushers in both my junior and senior year) and those guys were just flat-out good - one of them was the MVP of his high school team that won a Michigan state title. We were all a step slow, or a bit small, to play D1 ball, but weāre still good. Yeah, we are noticeably smaller and slower than the guys you see on TV - no doubt about it. But itās still a heck of a lot of fun for the guys playing.
Oh, and hereās a fun, Uncle-Rico-esque story for you - my freshman year, a bunch of guys from my floor wanted to go play some football on the field. They asked me to come - I think a part of them didnāt believe that the guys on our football team could be all that good, since many of them were of the āDude, I didnāt even know we HAD a football teamā attitude. Remember, I was an offensive lineman, not a receiver or a running back. I scored on the first three plays of the little touch football game (touchdown catch; interception for a touchdown; touchdown catch) & then I decided to take it easy because it was kinda ruining the game for everyone else, but I think that made a little bit of a point that, oh, gee, yeah, the guys playing on the football team are athletes, theyāre not just randos from the student body who happen to go out for football.
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Youāre basically dating.
I go hiking through the local woods a good bit. A big part of that is also a big public park with groves for parties, public restrooms, and a big gay hook up network. As a result Iāve run into a lot of gay dudes hooking up and trying to get some.
You pretty much took that as far as it could go without crossing 
swords.
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Itās going to be real awkward when he shows up in front of the house in the next few days.
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Hahaha! Yeah. Folks are going to think they got a new neighbor.
How big were you in college? My son plans to play D3 next year. Heās O-line, about 6ā2", 300. Heāll have to cut down some weight before next season though.
Who says Iām not bi?
I havenāt. If that floats your boat, then by all means, do your thing.
It does change the tone of the story a bit though.
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@liftangryordie500 has an itch he hasnāt scratched and it is driving him to do silly things. Once he faces facts and chows down on the man meat he so desperately craves, this risky behaviour will die down.
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Just throw me your email.
Much smaller than that, haha. I was about 5ā11" and ranged from 235-260 (though the game program officially listed me at 6ā1" and 260 the whole time, lol). In truth, I was better when I was lighter.
I was about 240 when I arrived as a freshman, had a nice freshman year, made the travel squad and played some special teams, then actually started the last two games at left tackle.
That offseason, I went a little nuts trying to get bigger. Lifted hard, got a lot stronger (good), but probably didnāt keep with the speed/agility work as much as I should have, and got up to a bit of a sloppy 260. I remember seeing a picture of myself after a game and thinking āUgh, thatās what I look like?ā Not happy times. I lost my starting job after the first four games of my sophomore year, and played sporadically the rest of that season, including a few games where I didnāt play at all (somewhat of a low point for me - that was the first time, ever, that I had not come off the sideline in a football game).
So after my sophomore year ended, a bit pissed off at the world, I did some soul-searching, lost a bunch of weight, wrestled in a couple of off-season tournaments at 215 pounds, did really well there and got some of my mojo back, and then slowly built some weight back up. I was like 227 when camp started for my junior year, and despite the lack of size, I was fuckinā ready to roll.
It turned out to be a really good season for both me and the team. I started all 23 games across my junior and senior year, and our team did quite well (11-1 my junior year, 7-4 my senior year; that year we lost a couple of real heartbreakers - one game we lost 27-26 on a missed 2-point conversion at the end, another loss in overtime - honestly, that team was 98 percent as good as the year before). I was probably between 230-240 the whole time my junior and senior year.
As for your son, it really depends on the preferences of the coaching staff, the specific position they have in mind for him, and what they like. My dad and I both believe that some D3 coaches end up overrating size and starting a 300-pounder ājust becauseā when a smaller kid may be a better player. If your son can carry the weight well and still move, itās great to be that big, but the college game (even the D3 college game) is faster than high school - I think thatās the biggest shock to most kids stepping up a level. The offenses execute faster, the defenses react faster, everything is just faster.
Stuff that you could get away with in high school doesnāt work - in HS if I was a step slow to the corner, I could usually recover and still get a piece of my guy, enough to knock him off course, or if I was a bit late spotting a blitzer to the inside, I could still step up & catch him. In college, that kind of mistake was a sack.
So Iād encourage your son to lose a bit of weight, if he can manage it in a healthy way. 280 is plenty big for a D3 offensive lineman, and better footwork will probably help him more than the extra couple of pounds. Our OL across the board (left to right) during my best college season was approximately:
5ā11" and 235 (me)
6ā2" and 250
6ā2" and 280
6ā1" and 245
6ā5" and 290
Good luck to your son! Where is he going to play?
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