Things That Make You Chuckle

These “music streaking” do-whackies are just plain broken. Once I pulled up a Golden Oldies “streak” so I could listen to some older stuff that I liked as a kid (led Zeppelin, Beatles, Creedence, Stones, etc) and instead a bunch of music I grew up with was playing.

I couldn’t find a mailing address, so I sent a letter to the local Golden Oldies radio station to let them know they were broadcasting to the wrong “streak” and I’d like them to include a Mystery Sound segment on their show.

Don’t know why they had to get the police involved.

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So I’m on the pulpit nominating committee for a church plant in our presbytery. That part alone should make you all chuckle.

The new church will serve a tough area of my county with a great deal of broken families, drug OD’s and crime. So I took a detour to buy some tequila and margarita mix there today just to see who this new pastor will have to minister to.

I kid you not the guy at the register was a satanist. I noticed the pentagram tattoo on his neck first. I know that skater/metal kids “back in my day” used that as an ironic counter culture symbol and was about to dismiss it when I noticed a bleeding ram tattoo, serpent sleeve down his arm handing an apple to a naked woman and “hell bound” across his knuckles. There was some sanskrit and other stuff I didn’t recognize as well.

Nice enough guy. After checking out I realized that satanists by default believe in a creator God. So he’s halfway there already lol.

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I never got Satanism. I mean - its routing for the guy that already lost…
You might as well be placing bets on the 2016 Olympics.

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What if they’re hedging bets?

Does the devil give favoritism to his dudes when they show up? Or do they go to heaven only because their paradise would have Satan?!?

I wish I knew a legit Satanist irl. The questions…

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Well considering they’re known to rape children (even their own) for starters. That’s an acquaintance I’ll pass up.

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I stay away from Catholics for the same reason. Shit just gets weird for some reason.

Well obviously I’d aim for a less rapey Satanist, but point taken

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For me there’s a difference between people (religious or not) that hurt others in a way that’s against their stated values or they’re just psychos with no religion or values (Catholic Priest, Columbine Shooters, Unabomber etc…)

It gets to a whole other level of evil when people make hurting others a requirement of their religion and proselytize others to do the same (Satanism, wahhabist Islam etc…)

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When I was younger (13ish) messing around with mates, I would do some proper fire and brimstone preaching. Found it really satisfying. (I’m not Christian.)
Of late I’ve attended church because I belive my daughter should have the experience and choice a church of England school will afford.

I’ve had to turn down numerous requests to do readings in service because I’m scared I’ll go old school on them.

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When I was around 10, I decided to become atheist but my parents still made me go to church. I took my revenge by taking out all the batteries in the clocks

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I’m the opposite of most kids. I don’t think my dad would have let any of us go to church if we had wanted to.

The boys come running in to wake me up as I tried to sleep in on a Saturday morning. The 3yo does a flying elbow to the temple and I just shrug it off and roll over.
“Mom, it’s not working. He won’t wake up.”
“Daddy benched yesterday. Try hitting him in the chest.”

Well played woman. You win this time.

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I think that’s one of the best thrash metal songs of all time.

@Basement_Gainz @pfury Satanism gets a bad rap for no reason. It’s just individualism. The only bad “satanist” is the evil fucker using it as a coverup for raping his daughter.

A key tenet:

  • they reject God and see themselves as their own God

That’s literally why Satan got kicked out of heaven.

No, I am not a satanist. I am an atheist. But, satanism seems to be one of the least evil religions out there. Ironic, isn’t it?

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That’s not how it’s practiced man. I’ve read a few survivors’ accounts of Satanic cults. There’s nothing “least evil” about Satanism.

Rejecting the existence of God is atheism.

Acknowledging God’s existence and rejecting his authority is agnosticism.

Satanism is the worship of Satan. It isn’t pretty.

I agree … I just thought it didn’t fit in with the theme of the playlist … Metallica sandwiched in between Dexy’s midnight Rider and Culture Club just strange bedfellows

Oh I know. Satanism was briefly discussed in the roe v Wade dumpsterfire thread. It’s basically what happens when you take free market and individualism concepts and make it a religion.

I’ve read far more tales about Scientology personally. By a mile

Satanists reject the authority of God, not existence

This is not what agnosticism is lol

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again, all of the crimes you listed are simply evil people using Satanism as a justification to do bad things.

My impression that agnosticism means simply saying “I don’t know.” You have no firm belief that there is or isn’t a God(s), but just say I don’t know and not giving it much more thought.

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Isn’t it just Incels who don’t want to call themselves Incels?

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This is the opposite of agnosticism- agnostics don’t reject or believe. They just don’t know.

Agnostic: “a person who believes that nothing is known or can be known of the existence or nature of God or of anything beyond material phenomena; a person who claims neither faith nor disbelief in God.”

I happen to be agnostic. Could be something out there, might not be. Cool with either outcome.

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