Things That Make You Chuckle

Off Topic
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Regarding the baby post - one night, I asked my wife, while she was 7 months pregnant with our first child, “what if our baby is super ugly?”

Her: “Our baby won’t be ugly!”

Me: “Yeah, but people are always showing pictures of their ugly babies and you and I both agree they’re really ugly looking babies, but we lie to them when we see them and tell them their babies are so cute. People will just lie to us as we make them look at our ugly baby.”

IIRC she pretty much just told me to be quiet at that point, and I think my kids were really cute.

But maybe they were ugly.

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:joy: :joy: :joy:

Thing that makes me chuckle:

I’ve had that exact same conversation at about the same time!

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2137

I did too.

My wife: shut your fucking mouth.

*my wife and I aren’t hostile. We just routinely use curse words as adjectives/adverbs.

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2138

I didn’t get an angry reply until I added:

Do you think he will look more like me or you?

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2139

My wife and I are adopting. That way we can blame someone else if they’re ugly.

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2140

Does it come with alka-seltzer?

How’s the process for that? If you don’t mind me asking, what agency are you using? My wife and I considering going that route as well…would like to hear your experience so far.

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No, but good deals on stuff like alka-seltzer and bulk supplements that even Ronnie Coleman’s never heard of can sometimes be found at Marden’s. You don’t know unless you show up and shop.

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At just less than 5 cents per oz. That’s some damn good gravy!

Do they have it in yellow?

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My girlfriend at the time got all judgmental with me when I put it in the cart, so I never got to find out the caliber of bulk pork gravy that might have been.

We used to have a place called Caswell’s that you could get some really questionable stuff at. My best score there was some lightly dented and expired cans of Quebecois maple syrup that was ridiculously cheap and fine - PERFECTLY FINE.

You could also buy beef jerky-like product that was just loose, dried meat of unknown origin in unlabeled bulk bins. Passing on that is another one of my great regrets in life. It may have been great jerky and I’ll never know, instead opting for the over-priced packaged products from reputable stores.

Sadly, Caswell’s closed years ago.

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Not at all. We are going through DHS. In my state you can go through DHS and straight adopt or foster, with the intent of adopting. The latter is our plan. We did it specifically because we had to a desire to support the system in a hard way.

It’s challenging, for sure. You never have enough information, the kids (plural because we took three, all siblings) have grown to call us mom/dad, after 5 months. BUT, they are torn between a desire to protect their bio parents and their desire to live a healthy life where they don’t feed themselves/sleep outside/etc.

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Just to side track, what gets shown as the way maple syrup is extracted has to be some kind of weird Canadian joke being played on the world.

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I’m unfamiliar with the process. It comes from moose, right?

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My wife said my mustache/beard trim made me look like a pornstar so naturally I photoshopped it onto an actual porno…

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2150

They milk it direct from the moose’s caboose.

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2152

Aside from all of the shitty news relating to the pandemic, local news is still doing a good job of showcasing Weird Maine.

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2153

BBQ RULES:
We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity . When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

(1) The woman buys the food.

(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.

(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

(6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.

(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat

Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.

(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes

And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ’ her night off ', and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s just no pleasing some women

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2154

That sounds about right up there with The Allagash Four

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