When I used to workout at work, not overheard per se, however seen…
The screamer: Does curls with OLY EZ-curl bar, 10 lbs a side and has the “look at me as I scream every f**king rep out!” Asked him if he was done with the bar, he then asked me if I wanted him to unload it first??? So I said yeah, I want to put on the 25s.
The piston man: Doing dips and breathing outloud… pshhhhhhh! on each rep as he goes up. Then does the same thing with any exercise, bench, squat etc. Even when the bar is not loaded…
another good one i had a few years ago. a guy comes in with a buddy that he’s going to train. i’ve seen the ‘trainer’ around before - not doing much - but never the buddy. they look to be in about the same shape, not very good.
they are doing something on the decline, which is kinda close to the platform in back. i’m doing my heaviest work of the day on front squats. i’m doing heavy singles. i hear this as i am racking the bar after a ball-buster single with 200 kg (440):
buddy: what’s HE doing?
trainer: lunges.
buddy: that looks like a lot of weight.
trainer: those are rubber plates. they are actually lighter than pig iron (PIG IRON!).
buddy: what’s the point of only doing the one rep?
trainer: these guys like to show off.
buddy: well. he impressed ME.
trainer: are interested in showing off or getting results?
they then proceeded to do some type of ab thing on the decline while repeating this mantra: 'get big! get big!..
my coach and i were laughing so hard we almost pissed our pants. i wasn’t pissed or anything. these guys were just clueless.
but my coach is kind of a hardass about this stuff so he goes over and says he overheard. offers $100 to the trainer if he can do exactly one half of what is currently on the bar for one rep. they guy asked how much that would be and my coach says, ‘220 pounds’. they guy said, ‘that’s not that much for me. but…(BUT!) i did legs yesterday.’ my coach said, ‘okay. but for future reference that’s a FRONT SQUAT…not a lunge!’
[quote]mazilla wrote:
well, it turns out a good friend of mine has moved to the same city as me. he used to be a trainer at the same gym as i in our home town. now that he’s out here he wants to train with me. the only problem is that he appears to be in the same catagory as 90% of the trainers out there, and thats useless when it comes to training advice. it’s been about a week now and i have had to listen to every bit of wrong input he has given me and correct him on it. not that i’m some kind of guru, this is basic shit. how to target certain muscles, how not to put too much stress on weaker body parts(ex: rotator cuff, tendons, etc.) proper range of motion… the basics. it’s really putting a wedge between me and my training. i have never really had anybody to train with besides my ipod. the problem is that he doesnt have any friends here, we train at the same gym, and i saved his life(he says i saved it but he would have lived), plus he’s a cool cat. i dont want to be a dick to my friend, and i dont want to compromise my training. i was thinking of telling him that my schedule has changed and i have to trian at the exact time he cannot be there. what would you do?[/quote]
Dude you need to show him the Light, T-Nation. He’s just ignorant to the fact that he is stupid.
He does not even know enough to know he does not know enough.
Granted, I only tell close friends and family about T-Nation who “get it” .
[quote]Z-Man wrote:
Overheard while I’m doing chins with a 45lb plate aroud my waist. Obviously they didn’t think I could hear em.
Skinny Guy points at me: That looks hard
Fat Friend: He’s on steroids
(yes, all 185lbs of me is so juiced! LOL)
[/quote]
ha ha! similar story! i was doing power cleans, pretty heavy weight. 150 kg. or so for reps. i was about 235 pounds with…eh…something under 12% BF, i would guess. anyway…i did three reps or something. it’s load. i 'm loud. i’m getting a drink and this guy says, ‘jesus!’ his buddy said, ‘yeah. HE is on STER-OIDS!’ i stand up and say, ‘NO SHIT, SHERLOCK! wanna guess what KIND?’
he shit himself because he had no idea - strangely - that i could hear him talking in a normal voice about three feet away from me.
[quote]TrainerinDC wrote:
apayne wrote:
Direct result of squatting in the smith machine.
Not really. Just a result of no inherent athleticism at all. She has never done smith machine squats, just what she has done with me.
To the other question, I can do anything and everything I want as long as I hurt nobody. It was probably a little mean to make her continue after falling several times, but I wanted to drive home the message that things can be done when someone tries, and that failure on something like this is not acceptable.
She is definitely going to hate me this morning however. [/quote]
Most of the major fitness chains wouldn’t tolerate their trainers doing that with their clients. Having a beginner trainee do bar squats on her first session is dubious. Letting her fall over multiple times would get you kicked off the training staff, no questions asked. It suprises me that you’re allowed to do it.
Normally, the progression that would be employed for teaching a newbie how to squat would go something like this:
I was doing some overhead presses at Planet Fatness the other night, and one of their “fitness professionals” was walking a guy through a chest routine. His guy finishes up a set of bench press, and I hear him say “165 for ten reps! You’re an animal!”
Now, there are two things wrong with this. First, there is really no reason to congratulate a grown man for benching 165 pounds, though I can chalk it up to motivation. The second, though, is a bit more troubling: the trainer had his guy benching in the Smith machine, but apparently didn’t know that the bar was counter-balanced; his plate, dime, and nickel actually added up to 120, not 165.
[quote]Hack Wilson wrote:
Z-Man wrote:
Overheard while I’m doing chins with a 45lb plate aroud my waist. Obviously they didn’t think I could hear em.
Skinny Guy points at me: That looks hard
Fat Friend: He’s on steroids
(yes, all 185lbs of me is so juiced! LOL)
ha ha! similar story! i was doing power cleans, pretty heavy weight. 150 kg. or so for reps. i was about 235 pounds with…eh…something under 12% BF, i would guess. anyway…i did three reps or something. it’s load. i 'm loud. i’m getting a drink and this guy says, ‘jesus!’ his buddy said, ‘yeah. HE is on STER-OIDS!’ i stand up and say, ‘NO SHIT, SHERLOCK! wanna guess what KIND?’
he shit himself because he had no idea - strangely - that i could hear him talking in a normal voice about three feet away from me.[/quote]
Good one today: Went to the gym at lunch. We have a real hot vixen who works out around this time.
Tall, great physique, works out hard. The guys have nicknamed her “abby” cause she has nice abs. Nice gal too. Anyway this middle aged pudgy guy is following this girl around. Whatever excercise she does he finds a bench behind her sits down and stares. Sometimes he does a dumbell curl with 15 ibs., but mostly just stares. I mean stares like he is getting ready to rub one out.
Abby heads over to the waterfountain and gets a drink then heads towards the locker room. This guy follows her down the hallway. She turns around and yells “hey asshole you can’t follow me in here and watch, it’s just for girls”
[quote]hedo wrote:
Good one today: Went to the gym at lunch. We have a real hot vixen who works out around this time.
Tall, great physique, works out hard. The guys have nicknamed her “abby” cause she has nice abs. Nice gal too. Anyway this middle aged pudgy guy is following this girl around. Whatever excercise she does he finds a bench behind her sits down and stares. Sometimes he does a dumbell curl with 15 ibs., but mostly just stares. I mean stares like he is getting ready to rub one out.
Abby heads over to the waterfountain and gets a drink then heads towards the locker room. This guy follows her down the hallway. She turns around and yells “hey asshole you can’t follow me in here and watch, it’s just for girls”[/quote]
Stalk much?
The lack of subtlety of guys in gyms is always amazing to me. The guys who go over to stare at women doing hip abduction/adduction machines is probably the pinnacle of gym creepiness. Not sure how the concept of shame completely went out the window, but there you have it.
This story is an absolute classic and was used as an example in my old gyms sales training manual.
The star of this story is no less than the greatest bodybuilder of all time (You know who I mean. He will be referred to as GOAT). My old boss was an international bodybuilder and has competed against/ trained with the GOAT so I take it as true.
When GOAT was in his bodybuilding heyday he travelled to Australia for a competition/promotional activity.
My boss had to go with him to all the fan sessions and etc. This one guy kept coming up to him and asking if he could kiss his bicep.
GOAT told him that wouldn’t be happening.
The guy followed GOAT everywhere. To the gym, book signings, the shows and so on. He realised that it wasn’t going to happen without some consideration. He then offers him $500 to kiss his bicep. GOAT agrees and tells him to bring the money and meet them at my boss’ hotel room.
They all go up there and sure enough a knock on the door comes. My boss opens the door…
“Hey GOAT, your faggot friend is here.”
GOAT walks up to him. Takes the cash, counts it, flexes the bi’s and the guy lands a tiny peck on it before GOAT slams the door on his face.
He turns to the room full of Bodybuilders pissing themselves laughing and says (Best said in Austrian Accent) “Da moral of the story… Get da money first.”
That was actually engraved on a plaque behind the counter at our gym and used as our sales motto.
[quote]Man O’ War wrote:
This story is an absolute classic and was used as an example in my old gyms sales training manual.
The star of this story is no less than the greatest bodybuilder of all time (You know who I mean. He will be referred to as GOAT). My old boss was an international bodybuilder and has competed against/ trained with the GOAT so I take it as true.
When GOAT was in his bodybuilding heyday he travelled to Australia for a competition/promotional activity.
My boss had to go with him to all the fan sessions and etc. This one guy kept coming up to him and asking if he could kiss his bicep.
GOAT told him that wouldn’t be happening.
The guy followed GOAT everywhere. To the gym, book signings, the shows and so on. He realised that it wasn’t going to happen without some consideration. He then offers him $500 to kiss his bicep. GOAT agrees and tells him to bring the money and meet them at my boss’ hotel room.
They all go up there and sure enough a knock on the door comes. My boss opens the door…
“Hey GOAT, your faggot friend is here.”
GOAT walks up to him. Takes the cash, counts it, flexes the bi’s and the guy lands a tiny peck on it before GOAT slams the door on his face.
He turns to the room full of Bodybuilders pissing themselves laughing and says (Best said in Austrian Accent) “Da moral of the story… Get da money first.”
That was actually engraved on a plaque behind the counter at our gym and used as our sales motto.
[/quote]
Fatty: I guess when you shoot up 'roids and protein, you can squat all day.
No shit!
The hard part is getting the chicken into the syringe.[/quote]
Tell him that you inject buffalo meat directly to your chest and cheetah meat (to give you superhuman speed) in your legs every day. The life of a protein injector is risky (what with injecting in the chest and all), but worth it.
[quote]Man O’ War wrote:
This story is an absolute classic and was used as an example in my old gyms sales training manual.
The star of this story is no less than the greatest bodybuilder of all time (You know who I mean. He will be referred to as GOAT). My old boss was an international bodybuilder and has competed against/ trained with the GOAT so I take it as true.
When GOAT was in his bodybuilding heyday he travelled to Australia for a competition/promotional activity.
My boss had to go with him to all the fan sessions and etc. This one guy kept coming up to him and asking if he could kiss his bicep.
GOAT told him that wouldn’t be happening.
The guy followed GOAT everywhere. To the gym, book signings, the shows and so on. He realised that it wasn’t going to happen without some consideration. He then offers him $500 to kiss his bicep. GOAT agrees and tells him to bring the money and meet them at my boss’ hotel room.
They all go up there and sure enough a knock on the door comes. My boss opens the door…
“Hey GOAT, your faggot friend is here.”
GOAT walks up to him. Takes the cash, counts it, flexes the bi’s and the guy lands a tiny peck on it before GOAT slams the door on his face.
He turns to the room full of Bodybuilders pissing themselves laughing and says (Best said in Austrian Accent) “Da moral of the story… Get da money first.”
That was actually engraved on a plaque behind the counter at our gym and used as our sales motto.
[/quote]
Sorry for the hijack, but I took this story to another thread.
Not overheard, but like others, questions asked.
I work out alone, with MP3’s headphones, moving quickly according to my routine, and generally getting it done. I began talking to some guys who actually squatted - and not just 25% - and this is what happened:
him: so, are you in the army?
me: what?
him: well, the exercises you do are so special. We (meaning himself and others at the gym I guess) thought you might be special forces or something.
me: (laughing) uh, no. Never been in the army. What special exercises?
him: You know, carrying the weights, stuff like that.
me: Oh, waiter walks and farmer walks. No, they aren’t special. They’re very old. But you can tell people I was special forces, then they will get out of my way.
him: Oh
Another while I was doing Turkish Get Ups which are just the bees knees for a quick workout and strange looks.
Guy doing leg presses with 180lbs: So, what muscle does that work? Core?
Me: All of them.
Hey, it might not be correct - no biceps- but it’s gotta be close.
Why is it that the most basic exercises you can imagine - what is more basic than picking something up and carrying it - elicit the most queries?
Why is it that the most basic exercises you can imagine - what is more basic than picking something up and carrying it - elicit the most queries? [/quote]
[quote]TrainerinDC wrote:
apayne wrote:
Direct result of squatting in the smith machine.
Not really. Just a result of no inherent athleticism at all. She has never done smith machine squats, just what she has done with me.
To the other question, I can do anything and everything I want as long as I hurt nobody. It was probably a little mean to make her continue after falling several times, but I wanted to drive home the message that things can be done when someone tries, and that failure on something like this is not acceptable.
She is definitely going to hate me this morning however. [/quote]
Well, when squatting on the smith machine or using the leg press people tend to push off their toes and they are being supported from behind so they don’t fall over until they try to do the same thing on a free squat. It’s cool that she stuck with it and got it though.
I was squatting the other day (front squats, 300 lb., a2g) and some pencil neck dude comes up to me and says " you shouldn’t squat like that it is bad for your knees". “Really” I said, “why don’t you show me how I should be doing them”. He obviously had no idea because he told me I should use the leg extension machine instead, “it’s much safer”. I thanked him for the advice…as I loaded the bar for next set at 315 lbs., F’ing genius this one.
I use to work out at a YMCA so I have many stories like that.
[quote]Professor X wrote:
It isn’t anything I overheard, but I have seen the same guy for the past two weeks literally spend over 30 minutes stretching before he ever touches a weight (not real stretches…but apparently his own version of streching). He will then do, at the most, two sets on either biceps curls or leg extensions (sometimes while reading a novel), and then stretch some more and leave.
Why do some people even buy memberships? Couldn’t that money be put to better use?[/quote]