Things Overheard at the Gym

Off Topic
1

I thought I would share one that struck me as amusing from my workout tonight at my gym.

A guy I chat with occasionally asked me for a spot on bench press. He’s very solid at 5’6" about 185-190 lbs and he throws 315 up on the bar. He settles in and knocks out about 6 reps.

As he finishes, some scrawny basketball player sidles up from a game he just finished on the indoor courts and after watching this guy bench. I inferred they were friends as they began to chat and the skinny hoopster busts out with:

“Don’t arch your hips in your bench. That makes it a non-athletic movement.”

Umm… what?

Color me puzzled my friends.

2

[quote]Kuz wrote:
I thought I would share one that struck me as amusing from my workout tonight at my gym.

A guy I chat with occasionally asked me for a spot on bench press. He’s very solid at 5’6" about 185-190 lbs and he throws 315 up on the bar. He settles in and knocks out about 6 reps.

As he finishes, some scrawny basketball player sidles up from a game he just finished on the indoor courts and after watching this guy bench. I inferred they were friends as they began to chat and the skinny hoopster busts out with:

“Don’t arch your hips in your bench. That makes it a non-athletic movement.”

Umm… what?

Color me puzzled my friends.[/quote]

Did the guy you were spotting ask the other guy to get under the bar and show him what he meant?

That’s too funny.

3

[quote]SWR-1240 wrote:
Did the guy you were spotting ask the other guy to get under the bar and show him what he meant?

That’s too funny.[/quote]

No, I wish he did. One of my favorite things in the gym is to listen to the… ahem… “experts” who look like they’ve never even picked up a weight before. Very compelling!

4

I lift in a university gym, so I hear all sorts of idiotic things.

One from today was “We both all natural, not like most of these people. Unless you takin’ somethin’ I don’t know about.” I glanced at them and they both looked like they couldn’t lift their way out of a wet paper bag.

Sometimes I get “expert” instruction in different lifts. I usually ask them to demonstrate, with the same weight I’m using. No takers so far.

The one that drives me up the wall, though, is when guys try to teach their girlfriends or other newbies how to lift. It’s usually terrible instructions for the squat, and I have to bite my tongue to keep from saying, “No, don’t listen to him. He’s wrong. Do it this way.”

Other fun stuff includes “He must be taking creatine,” “Hey, you know deadlifting makes you blocky, right?” and “It’s really not too expensive to have 3 weight gainer shakes per day. And it’s worth it in the gains you’ll make.”

Oh boy.

5

" Ok, I want you to hit 3 sets of 10 reps on these tricep pressdowns. After 3 sets, see how you feel. If you don’t have a pump, do 3 more sets. Again, see how you feel. Keep going until your tri’s are pumped and fatigued" - Personal Trainer at The University of Texas Arlington’s Rec Complex. I nearly spewed my shake all over the place.

6

[quote]OneEye wrote:

Other fun stuff includes “He must be taking creatine,” [/quote]

One time in a locker room before a workout a guy asked me if I’m using Creatine. I said “yea”, and he responds:

“I don’t want to take it. I want to stay natural.”

I just told him it’s as natural as eating meat, and that he should do some more research on it.

He just went quiet, and I left to start my workout.

7

It isn’t anything I overheard, but I have seen the same guy for the past two weeks literally spend over 30 minutes stretching before he ever touches a weight (not real stretches…but apparently his own version of streching). He will then do, at the most, two sets on either biceps curls or leg extensions (sometimes while reading a novel), and then stretch some more and leave.

Why do some people even buy memberships? Couldn’t that money be put to better use?

8

[quote]Professor X wrote:
It isn’t anything I overheard, but I have seen the same guy for the past two weeks literally spend over 30 minutes stretching before he ever touches a weight (not real stretches…but apparently his own version of streching). He will then do, at the most, two sets on either biceps curls or leg extensions (sometimes while reading a novel), and then stretch some more and leave.

[/quote]

Ah, the novel reading while working out, a true classic.

I recently witnessed a man, probably about 6’ 130lbs., reading a novel while doing squats in the Smith machine in one of the gyms I manage.

He had no weight on the smith bar, and due to the fact that the bar is counter-weighted to just a couple pounds, he was basically just leaning against the bar and squatting down, every 15 seconds or so doing a rep, all while reading a book.

I watched him do this for about 3 minutes, and then told him that there were probably people waiting to use the equipment.

He replied with “I’m using the equipment. I’m trying to lengthen my leg muscles, not make them wide.”

I asked him if he’d like some advice, to which he replied “none needed” and then swaggered on over to the inner/outer thigh machine, where his novel reading continued.

9

[quote]Professor X wrote:

Why do some people even buy memberships? Couldn’t that money be put to better use?[/quote]

Because then they wouldn’t get out into society at all. We should all just consider the weird guy checking us out as a small price to pay to avoid a public or workplace shooting.

10

I saw something TONIGHT, that I have got to talk about!

Some 5’5" 160 pound tool that smells like a pack of camels comes walking into the gym. He loads 7 plates on each side of the smith machine. 7 Plates! He then unracks it, and does 1/8 squats. He gets to his third rep, and then gets STAPLED to the floor! He planted!

The dumbass did NOT use collars, and several of the 45’s fell off. There was a catch peice on the smith machine that kept him from getting snapped in half. I wish people would act smarter, and learn how to lift properly!

11

[quote]BarneyFife wrote:
Some 5’5" 160 pound tool that smells like a pack of camels comes walking into the gym. He loads 7 plates on each side of the smith machine. 7 Plates! He then unracks it, and does 1/8 squats. He gets to his third rep, and then gets STAPLED to the floor! He planted!
[/quote]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHA

I probably would have had the “oh shit!” reaction at first, but come on, that shits funny.

12

New girl client tongiht. Very cute, very intelligent. Just, not athletic at all. Showed her how to squat, using just an olympic bar. I tell her drive through the heel on the upward motion. She goes down, a2g, but unintentionally. She fell at parallel and I didn’t know this until she hit the floor.

Showed her again, picked her and the bar up for attempt two, where this time she falls again. This continued for about ten minutes. I wouldn’t let her stop until she did 3x10 squats with the bar. She was trying to push forward with her feet instead of into the ground, and falling every time. Here’s the kicker, she can leg press 300 lbs.

Not overheard, but a scene to watch.

13

[quote]Bauer97 wrote:
Professor X wrote:
It isn’t anything I overheard, but I have seen the same guy for the past two weeks literally spend over 30 minutes stretching before he ever touches a weight (not real stretches…but apparently his own version of streching). He will then do, at the most, two sets on either biceps curls or leg extensions (sometimes while reading a novel), and then stretch some more and leave.

Ah, the novel reading while working out, a true classic.

I recently witnessed a man, probably about 6’ 130lbs., reading a novel while doing squats in the Smith machine in one of the gyms I manage.

He had no weight on the smith bar, and due to the fact that the bar is counter-weighted to just a couple pounds, he was basically just leaning against the bar and squatting down, every 15 seconds or so doing a rep, all while reading a book.

I watched him do this for about 3 minutes, and then told him that there were probably people waiting to use the equipment.

He replied with “I’m using the equipment. I’m trying to lengthen my leg muscles, not make them wide.”

I asked him if he’d like some advice, to which he replied “none needed” and then swaggered on over to the inner/outer thigh machine, where his novel reading continued.
[/quote]

The novel reading work out seems to be becoming a growing fad. There are at least three guys I’ve seen who do this and none of them look like they’ve ever seen a weight. How much concentration can you really have by doing seated rows while reading a book? I had one ask me about a year ago why I spend so little time in the gym and whether I am coming back later because of progress made since he’s seen me there. Even after telling him I don’t think it sunk in that focusing on what your goal is, getting it done, and leaving is way better than showing up and staying for hours just to say you did.

Maybe they are all just trying to “lengthen their muscles” instead of make them wide.

I wonder how that’s working for them.

14

[quote]BarneyFife wrote:
The dumbass did NOT use collars, and several of the 45’s fell off. There was a catch peice on the smith machine that kept him from getting snapped in half. I wish people would act smarter, and learn how to lift properly![/quote]

This guy sounds like one of the many tools “training” at my gym, although i dont really see the point of using collars on the smith machine either. I dont know what it is about the kids that lift there now, but all of them seem to be taught it doesnt matter how deep you squat as long as you can put as many 45’s on as possible. Sadly i think its coming from the football coaches

15

[quote]Professor X wrote:
Bauer97 wrote:
Professor X wrote:
It isn’t anything I overheard, but I have seen the same guy for the past two weeks literally spend over 30 minutes stretching before he ever touches a weight (not real stretches…but apparently his own version of streching). He will then do, at the most, two sets on either biceps curls or leg extensions (sometimes while reading a novel), and then stretch some more and leave.

Ah, the novel reading while working out, a true classic.

I recently witnessed a man, probably about 6’ 130lbs., reading a novel while doing squats in the Smith machine in one of the gyms I manage.

He had no weight on the smith bar, and due to the fact that the bar is counter-weighted to just a couple pounds, he was basically just leaning against the bar and squatting down, every 15 seconds or so doing a rep, all while reading a book.

I watched him do this for about 3 minutes, and then told him that there were probably people waiting to use the equipment.

He replied with “I’m using the equipment. I’m trying to lengthen my leg muscles, not make them wide.”

I asked him if he’d like some advice, to which he replied “none needed” and then swaggered on over to the inner/outer thigh machine, where his novel reading continued.

The novel reading work out seems to be becoming a growing fad. There are at least three guys I’ve seen who do this and none of them look like they’ve ever seen a weight. How much concentration can you really have by doing seated rows while reading a book? I had one ask me about a year ago why I spend so little time in the gym and whether I am coming back later because of progress made since he’s seen me there. Even after telling him I don’t think it sunk in that focusing on what your goal is, getting it done, and leaving is way better than showing up and staying for hours just to say you did.

Maybe they are all just trying to “lengthen their muscles” instead of make them wide.

I wonder how that’s working for them.[/quote]

I’d like to know the secret of length and width both… ahem, for a friend of mine.

16

[quote]Bauer97 wrote:
Professor X wrote:

He replied with “I’m using the equipment. I’m trying to lengthen my leg muscles, not make them wide.”

I asked him if he’d like some advice, to which he replied “none needed” and then swaggered on over to the inner/outer thigh machine, where his novel reading continued.
[/quote]

Ok, so if I read a novel and stroke once every 15 seconds will I lengthen my favorite muscle?

17

[quote]Professor X wrote:
Bauer97 wrote:
Professor X wrote:
It isn’t anything I overheard, but I have seen the same guy for the past two weeks literally spend over 30 minutes stretching before he ever touches a weight (not real stretches…but apparently his own version of streching). He will then do, at the most, two sets on either biceps curls or leg extensions (sometimes while reading a novel), and then stretch some more and leave.

Ah, the novel reading while working out, a true classic.

I recently witnessed a man, probably about 6’ 130lbs., reading a novel while doing squats in the Smith machine in one of the gyms I manage.

He had no weight on the smith bar, and due to the fact that the bar is counter-weighted to just a couple pounds, he was basically just leaning against the bar and squatting down, every 15 seconds or so doing a rep, all while reading a book.

I watched him do this for about 3 minutes, and then told him that there were probably people waiting to use the equipment.

He replied with “I’m using the equipment. I’m trying to lengthen my leg muscles, not make them wide.”

I asked him if he’d like some advice, to which he replied “none needed” and then swaggered on over to the inner/outer thigh machine, where his novel reading continued.

The novel reading work out seems to be becoming a growing fad. There are at least three guys I’ve seen who do this and none of them look like they’ve ever seen a weight. How much concentration can you really have by doing seated rows while reading a book? I had one ask me about a year ago why I spend so little time in the gym and whether I am coming back later because of progress made since he’s seen me there. Even after telling him I don’t think it sunk in that focusing on what your goal is, getting it done, and leaving is way better than showing up and staying for hours just to say you did.

Maybe they are all just trying to “lengthen their muscles” instead of make them wide.

I wonder how that’s working for them.[/quote]

I actually have thought about going to the gym to study. if I study at home, then I end up playing on T-Nation. If I study at the library, then I don’t feel motivated to study. But if I get on the stairmaster at the gym, I can read an entire textbook. But being on the stairmaster and reading is different from lifting and reading.

18

[quote]Bootsie wrote:
BarneyFife wrote:
The dumbass did NOT use collars, and several of the 45’s fell off. There was a catch peice on the smith machine that kept him from getting snapped in half. I wish people would act smarter, and learn how to lift properly!

This guy sounds like one of the many tools “training” at my gym, although i dont really see the point of using collars on the smith machine either. I dont know what it is about the kids that lift there now, but all of them seem to be taught it doesnt matter how deep you squat as long as you can put as many 45’s on as possible. Sadly i think its coming from the football coaches[/quote]

I didn’t see the need for collars on the smith machine until tonight either. If those 45’s would have rolled when they came off, and hurt someone, I would have probably thrown the tool down the stairs at the gym. Its ok to endanger yourself, but its not ok to let your own stupidity hurt others.

19

OMFG.
I am about ready to do something to the people at my gym!
I was working out tonight and along came invasion of the thin kids who use steroids.
One walks up to me and asks me how I got so big.
I tell him hard work in the gym and lots of food.
Then he says,“Na man! Get some good juice and you won’t have to worry about eating too much and unwanted fat gain”-coming from a kid who is 6 ft and is around 135 pounds.
I almost hit him right in his jaw.

20

[quote]BarneyFife wrote:
The dumbass did NOT use collars, and several of the 45’s fell off. There was a catch peice on the smith machine that kept him from getting snapped in half. I wish people would act smarter, and learn how to lift properly![/quote]

That reminds me of an accident at my gym a few years back. The hero of the story was a World Strongman competitor. He’s featured on many TV shows.

He picked up a Olympic Bar with 2 45lb plates per side. He wanted to carry it over to the other side of the gym. He does and about turn and one of the plates somehow slides off with the momentum.

Some poor female staff member was picking up a weight off the floor and the 45 came straight down onto her hand. Needless to say it was broken.

The strongman just goes “You probably should get that looked at.” and picks up his weights and walks over to the other side of the gym.