There are plenty of attractive black women. That chic / dude or whatever ain’t one of them.
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I feel your pain.
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Yeah I was pretty sure he married a black woman too. Or at least he says he is. He made sure to drop that tidbit (or did he just say he was in a interracial marriage?) but he’ll only allude to his awe-inspiring Roman ancestry.
I just wanted to talk shit to him.
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I’m not Roman. But the ancient Romans are awe inspiring.
And how did that turn out?
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I’ve given you something to aspire to. I mean, if I can do it, you can too.
I mean…it’s the internet? Was there something at stake?
All I know is, if I can be posting this:
when I’m 50, I’ll be happy.
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I’m sorry you’re not happy now.
C’mon man. Is that the best you’ve got?
You kids have to start using a different number or something for the Old benchmark. I turned 51 in May and I’m, well…
Aright. Carry on.
It’s the best you deserve.
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Ouch. Zinger.
I turned 60 in September. Not a comparison by any stretch.
However, I do grow weary of internet trolls derailing a thread.
Maybe it is because I am old.
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My 5 year old ate a bunch of these because he’s coming off Halloween so everything is candy.
Had a stomach ache, groaning on the couch, then jumps up and sprints to the bathroom. I hear an epic explosion, then when the silence descended, I heard him go “That’s what I’m talking about.”
I lost it. Literally hit myself with my cup in the face from laughing.
There’s layers of stupid in this story. And maybe posting it.
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You’re a good 60. Bikes on the beach 60.
Thats the kind I want to be too. 
Also, was that formatted as a haiku or something?
That’s what makes a good story.
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Nah - just stream of consciousness. My stream isn’t that strong (prostate joke).
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Eating animals and fucking them are like totally the same thing
I honest to god hope aliens vaporize us at this point.
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These people think they are always the smartest ones in the room because it seems obviously true.
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By that logic necrophilia is no different than using a fleshlight