You and @dt79 are living forms of IMDB but better because the reviews are on point.
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I’m not too sure myself. Never liked the Scream series. Freddy vs Jason was funny as fuck.
I like horror as a genre. Slashers just happen to fall under that genre so naturally I’ve caught a few. I like giallos by Argento and Mario Bava for reasons which don’t really have much to do with “horror”.
I only like the kind of “slashers” where the killer is some weird fuck like Leatherface or Freddy. You can probably throw Pinhead in there. The Halloween kind of “killer with a knife” stuff never really interested me. Never really liked Jason either.
Rick and Morty just mocked the hell out of coenobites. Even if you don’t watch the show, if you know hell raiser you’ll probably find this amusing
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Btw, I made a post in The Stupid Thread about reviewers and how the “slasher” genre evolved in general some time ago. I’ll repost it here:
Not really “stupid”, but I didn’t know where to post this other than the movies thread but it seemed more suited for PWI:
This was the 80s. Roger Ebert was a dude who was anti-censorship no matter how much he despised the material and he did contribute to, and even wrote scripts for “satirical” exploitation movies prior to this. Roeper was just a big wuss when it comes to movie violence.
The jist of it is that all the slasher flicks in the 80s to early 90s after Halloween were “anti-female”.
What they’re saying is that while John Carpenter’s Halloween put the viewer in the place of the victim to terrify the viewer, all the ones trying to cash in on the “slasher formula” extracted the wrong shit from it and went in the opposite direction by putting the viewer in the place of the slasher.
They use a lot of the Friday the 13th movies as examples since it contains lots of shots of Jason stalking people from his POV with the funny breathing noises and all.
To put this in context, which isn’t mentioned in their reviews, Halloween was the first major horror movie that had minimal blood and gore in it after that shit became the norm in horror movies in the mid 60s and throughout the 70s (Bloodfeast, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Dawn of the Dead, Italian giallos) and dudes who wanted their horror fixes could now bring their dates along because it now also appealed to chicks like Richard Roeper who couldn’t stand watching such gore.
It’s something like the more modern wave of horror movies that started from The Ring that are really just chick flicks in disguise (The Japanese versions, at least) IMHO. No gore. No violence. Mostly JUMP SCARES! with few to no physical consequences to the victim. Single mother dealing with shit that may or may not be just in her head. Sound familiar?
If you watch the video, what they’re saying sounds a lot like the feminist stuff being said nowadays.
They come to the conclusion that the slasher flicks of that era was a pushback against the feminist movement and served mainly as mediums for catharsis for disenfranchised males by using the aforementioned style of putting the viewer in the place of the slasher.
Any time a woman decides to venture out of the kitchen to do independent woman shit, she gets killed.
Chick undresses at the start of the movie for no reason other than to show us boobs. Dead.
Chick has pre-marital sex. Dead.
Chick decides to do have a meaningful vocation like a summer camp counselor. Dead.
Chick asserts authority by talking back to men. Dead.
Chick decides to do something adventurous like travel and hitchhike. Dead.
Prostitute. Dead. Violently killed. Burning(The Burning), scalping(Maniac), electrocution etc.
All depicted with voyeuristic shots prior to the kills.
Who survives - a.k.a The Final Girl - according to the Gospel of Scream? The VIRGIN.
What’s the purported message? Keep your legs closed until you’re married and then stay in the kitchen and you’ll be fine.
Then, later, Ebert starts ranting about growing nihilism when the movies started offing both men and women at similar rates, which was the direction John Carpenter, director of the movie that started all this shit in the first place, went into in his later movies(the nihilist shit, not the killcount) like They Live (I’m here to kick ass and chew bubble gum yadda yadda yadda) and Escape from New York.
He called it all “despicable”, berating a later instalment of Friday the 13th for telling teens that there’s no real meaning to anything you decide to do in life since you’re probably going to get killed anyway and all you can really hope for is Tom Savini being involved in the makeup department so your death looks cool. Ok I added the last one in myself.
Seriously, is all the shit we are reading and hearing TODAY really new? It looks like it already went full circle and just had a revival but with more people making noise because we now have social media and lots of YouTubers who do nothing but analyse this shit.
Btw, I’ve never watched a single Friday the 13th movie in full prior to Jason Goes to Hell, which was made in the 90s, because they bored the fuck out of me so don’t give me any shit about them.
But I’ll admit to enjoying watching really bad, violent movies even to the point of pure schlock because they’re so bad they end turning into something that inevitably resulted from a natural progression of slapstick comedies. Don’t give me shit for liking them either. We have the real, legit shit now with the John Wick movies. Anyone who likes them shares the same kind of guilty pleasures as me.
Have you seen the slayer (1982) rare/lesser known film.
The people under the stairs (91)
There’s another weird slasher that involved incest… I forgot the name, I’ll get back to you
Nope.
Caught a bit of it. Bored me to death lol.
TCM also had minimal blood and gore, but would probably be too disturbing to bring a date to (at the time of release). Like taking a date to deliverance… it’d probably be a bad date
Halloween wasn’t intended to be a blockbuster release, was initially released in a select few theatres but gained widespread popularity because it was a pretty good movie. The gore was minimal because the move had a low budget
Halloween II was far more graphic
Friday the 13th was gory, but even then all original Friday the 13th films were cut to pieces. If you look up the uncut kills/uncut versions (I have all uncut footage on a DVD box-set + part I uncut) you’ll note how squeamish censors were. Seriously, they cut out a LOT of the carnage.
I think it was the “grittiness” that turned a lot of people I watched it with over the years off. It didn’t look like a studio movie at that time. It had some kind of hyperrealism going on.
I’ll give you an example. In Halloween, a dude gets impaled onto the wall with a knife or something. He’s dead. Fine. That’s what happens to movie characters. It’s like people just drop dead when they get shot with a singe bullet or a single stab to the gut.
In TCM, the girl is still alive and screaming when she’s impaled on a meat hook. People didn’t expect to see that shit, especially if they’ve never seen real life violence.
I still find it more hilarious than actually frightening lol. The part where the cook keeps hitting the chick with a broom still gets me every time.
Rick and Morty out of context
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I watched Avatar: The Last Airbender by the great M.Night Shymalan just to see how bad it was. I’ve never watched the cartoon.
Then I got to THIS SCENE and I said, “Alright, that’s it for me.”
Holy fuck. This is the kind of shit you do in COMEDIES. The kind of “nonsensical” ones HK’s Stephen Chow is famous for:
See, the Stephen Chow clip is funny because it’s a deconstructionist kind of thing. You’re expecting the monks to display some kind of grand, coordinated beat down with kungfu and powers and shit after they strike the first pose. Instead, they’re just randomly hitting him with foldable chairs like gangsters with 3 dumbasses still striking poses in the foreground.
However, in the voiceover, he says they were subtly using some kungfu to beat him up, which is depicted by the different types of fist “shapes”, each representing a different style of kungfu, that appear before each strike, which somehow led to him picking up all their fucking kungfu after multiple beat downs lol. And later, there’s an ongoing joke about the foldable chair being one of China’s “top 10 ten deadliest weapons”, which is another deconstruction of China’s ancient Shaolin weaponry which includes the spear, sword, 3 linked staff, etc AND a subtle joke about how anti-Qing revolutionaries who were hiding in the Shaolin temple and learning their skills (in Chinese fiction) eventually evolved in to the gangsters today.
It’s brilliantly absurd and shows his skill in storytelling especially with the efficient editing. This kind of thing would have been stretched into a 20min segment as a training montage involving a an initially belligerent trainee in other movies instead of 2-3 mins (with other related scenes).
And it’s meant to be INTENTIONALLY FUNNY but ends up much more than that.
The Shymalan scene is just self-absorbed and unintentionally funny while giving us LESS than what we should be getting. FFS, when you have a world where characters have such insane kind of powers, why the FUCK does a guy get kicked in the balls instead of a bigass spectacle with lots of fire and earth power shit happening.
Why the fuck are you doing the single shot shit when you can’t even direct the fucking actors to give proper performances in non-action scenes?
The single, slowly floating rock after the 6 guys strike that silly pose almost killed me. I know the rock was being propelled by one OTHER guy but he comes into frame too late. Which is why the CGI fellows had to make it move so slowly at first, which is why it looked so comedic since the 6 guys were still busy doing their posing shit, which the camera panned to too late after that earth wall appeared to protect another character from fire, which is why the 6 guys looked so silly as well. The timing was all off.
Can’t even blame the CGI guys. You could say they were caught between a rock and a hard place. (Lol)
You can’t fucking handle this single shot shit. Stop it. It was pointless. That worked brilliantly in Unbreakable. It doesn’t work here.
Then the fire dude gets kicked in the balls from behind after he attacks one earth guy when it should be a fight between fire and earth. There are just so many things wrong with it I could go on and on lol. It’s a complete failure of both storytelling and technique.
Don’t get me wrong. If the entire movie was as hilariously bad as that scene, I would have watched all of it. But up to then it was all just about characters talking about shit which bored the living fuck out of me. I didn’t think it was worth continuing. I’ll probably just look for all the fight scenes on YouTube and watch them.
Rewatched Scary Movie 3 and half of 4. Didn’t rewatch the first 2 because I’ve already watched them several times. Part 3 isn’t too bad if you have zero expectations. I like how they made Charlie Sheen of all people make a remark about how stupid the plot to Signs was.
“They mastered space flight but they can’t get through wooden doors?”
LMAO.
I still think Anna Farris is adorable. Part 3 still had a hint of Naked Gun-esque humor but that was lost in part 4. Leslie Nielson was awesome.
But I think the part I laughed most at was when they parodied 8 mile where the dude finally got the crowd on his side. pulled up his hoodie and unwittingly revealed the tip of it formed the shape of a KKK hood.
I think I’m going to watch Signs again just for a laugh.
I fucking lost it when I watched that. It was so unexpected lol.
The paintbal scene with Kevin Hart was hilarious too, when he switched to a painters’ roller because his gun jammed. Hahaha.
I miss finding comedies hilarious.
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Remembered @cyclonengineer’s endorsement of the new Boss Baby movie and took my kids to see it with my brother. We laughed our heads off, and it was undoubtedly better than the first movie. Jeff Goldblum killed it, as usual. 6.5/10. Genuinely funny. Had a wonderful time watching it with the family, which is why I can’t in good conscience give it a higher rating - it’d be biased.
Jungle Cruise - the new Disney movie. Watched it with my kids tonight. The Mummy had a baby with Pirates of the Caribbean. Honestly sums it up perfectly. It was fun, and there isn’t really anything glaring that ruined the movie. Probably a solid 5.5/10.
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I feel like you just summed up all of The Rock’s movies here.
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The exception that proves the rule - “Doom”
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I walked out of the theater halfway through Jumanji. Then the wife made me sit through Jumanji 2 and it was even worse.
Does anyone even remember half of The Rock’s movies? I vaguely recall one about a white gorilla but I can’t even remember it’s title. Then there was one where he had one leg and jumped from a crane onto a skyscraper. Can’t remember what else happened in the movie either. The only other thing I remember is the main bad guy was a China CEO who couldn’t speak Chinese properly and I only know who he is because he’s an English educated, non-Chinese speaking actor(I think he’s Peranakan or something) from S.E Asia who never got popular here. Shit, I don’t even know if I actually watched Doom or just read about it.
Jumanji 2 is a comedic masterpiece
Are you serious lol? I don’t remember laughing at any point during the movie.
Do you know ANY old people?
Was it made for them?
Seriously, I don’t know any Western old people so maybe lots of the jokes went over my head.
Also, I FUCKING HATE KEVIN HART.