Patch: The best is always in front of us. I think that. I probably should spend less time looking back. I’m glad the running is going well for you. I certainly feel frustration when I don’t accomplish what I’ve set out to do–but that’s not as raw an emotion as anger. It’s wimpy and whiney. I’ll think about anger. My instinct is that anger, like love, is not an emotion that I can conjure at my will.
Kimba: Yes, I am hooked on a feeling! And running down hill is a bitch. Squats, tkes (I think) are finally helping me getting stronger and more confident on the downhills.
Alexus: I like the image of “controlled fire.” Yes, calm for real or that’s my goal. Sometimes I’m nervous when I step up to the bar, so I try to relax.
Cal: That’s a helpful description. thanks.
Masch: My training was the same. Gymnastics is a performance sport after all-an act. Smile. It doesn’t hurt. It’s not scary. You’re never tired. I wonder if that is why my running coaches always thought I was capable of more than I was giving. Methodical. Snake recoiling. Excellent descriptions. And I agree. I make a great effort to take emotion out of my athletic endeavors. This is something to think about though. I am at bottom a very emotional person. But, I generally see that as a weakness. As something to control. I wonder if it is a strength when lifting?
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Track today.
Trying to decide what to do while doing my drills, I knew that I didn’t want to do repeat 400s. They are so hard. But, they are so good for you. So, I thought of Kimba. Somehow knowing someone else voluntarily subjects themselves to 400 repeats made them doable today. Like a virtual hand holding. I’m grateful for this forum.
To keep the pain threshold unpredictable I mixed up my rest periods and my repeats. They went like this. run 400, walk 200, run 200, shuffle 200. Repeat the pattern.
I did 4. And then had a goldilocks moment. 4 was not enough. 5 would be perfect. But, I can’t do 5–an odd number of repeats–it’s an abomination. I don’t know why. We never did an odd number of repeats in HS. Pretending that I am trying to decide what to do, I untie and retie my shoes–really I’m stealing some extra rest. I know what I’m going to do.
During the 5th 400, the rain turns sideways and I choke on the wind. I tell myself Mother nature is trying to help me be less crazy. She says, “What is wrong with you child. YOu can do an odd number of repeats.”
Her effort is wasted She knows it too. Because by the time I finish my 5th 200 the rain has stopped and the wind is quiet.
The 6th 400 is brutal. The last straightway feels like I’m running the wrong way on a moving sidewalk. It is endless. But I finish. And I finish my last 200.
And I am suffering and I feel delighted.
I try to run the last mile home. But I can’t. I walk. And i think crazy feels pretty damn good today.
