So I see that you’re reviving the GVT too. Very nice. Don’t you just love it? I’m doing my chest/shoulders split shortly. Hope that I don’t fail with the bar on my chest like last session. Do you time the rest periods? That’s the real killer for me.
Hope the headache/sleep thing is under control.
lol you’re an addict…just cant say no to the sanctuary, eh? well…Im fighting it right now myself. I guees tonight I’ll try and fix my shower drain, toilet seat, ghetto curtains…
[quote]veggiestrong wrote:
So I see that you’re reviving the GVT too. Very nice. Don’t you just love it? I’m doing my chest/shoulders split shortly. Hope that I don’t fail with the bar on my chest like last session. Do you time the rest periods? That’s the real killer for me.
Hope the headache/sleep thing is under control.[/quote]
Always awesome having you grace my thread. I would say “log” but for some reason, that just seems inappropriate. 
Yeah, my plan is to get the GVT going again, however, I had to really fuck with it today, as I’m not at 100%, what with the sleep, then the re-introduction of Seroquel to my nightly cocktail…needless to say, I’m a bit off. I do time the rest periods with a digital timer I keep with me. And yeah, that minute to ninety seconds just isn’t enough.
On the track of being “off”, I am noticing a change in me. With the adrenaline and stimulant fueled fire in me extinguished, all that seems to be left is a cold place. No excitement, no sadness, just barren. I’m referring to stimuli out here, by the way. I’m still very much ready to pop smoke and return to G-town, followed by an express trip in the 'Stang to see a certain soon-to-be doctor. But, I’ve pretty much returned to my cellar, so to speak. Case in point, something big went BOOM this morning. Sounded like an IED. On the FOB. I didn’t flinch, my heartbeat didn’t quicken, nothing. I just went outside to see where it happened. Just up the path from my tent. With that bit of info, I proceeded onward with my day. Later, we were told that one of our own was killed. He was on leave when he was mugged and…killed. The reporter of this info, as well as my coworker were on the verge of tears. For the life of me, I couldn’t feel a thing. While my thoughts and prayers immediately went out to those left behind, I feel nothing. I always have to question myself about this. Is it the drugs? Or am I just bent? I mean, shouldn’t I feel a sense of loss? I literally shook hands and spoke to this person each and every day we’ve been out here, and his absence is noticeable, but there is nothing. Now, I did run into one of his soldiers, and in that encounter, I could empathize with the soldier. He was pretty upset about it. That, I could feel, and I took the time to listen to him and talk with him. This just puzzles me.
But, on to the work, I suppose. Sorry for that bit of rambling. Not really what you all want to read, I’m sure.
5 April 2011
Evening
Deadlifts
135 x 10 x 1
attempted interruption to shoot the shit ignored with extreme prejudice
315 x 3 x 1
315 x 10 x 5
My lower back, ass, and right hamstring were SCREAMING at me after the fifth set. So, I altered my planned GVT session.
Barbell Rows
205 x 10 x 5
Both the DLs and the rows were done with 90 secs. rest for the DLs, and 1 min. rest for the rows.
Pullups
BW x 50
Machine Rows
120 x 10 x 1
This is when the soldier came over. He was a bit more important than finishing the remaining 40 rows I wanted to do.
While I’m adjusting to this internal change, I’ve purposely been attempting to kill myself physically in the gym. Making the sessions brutal and merciless. Tomorrow morning, after a lil run, I’ll probably get some plyo in. I’ll see.
[quote]ThePerfectDrug wrote:
lol you’re an addict…just cant say know to the sanctuary, eh? well…Im fighting it right now myself. I guees tonight I’ll try and fix my shower drain, toilet seat, ghetto curtains…[/quote]
I tried the calisthenic thing, and I’ll be in there ALL DAMN DAY trying to get something out of it worthwhile!! 
And I thought the curtains were on the “Honey-Do” list? Powertools and stuff? lol. So…I don’t get to wear my jeans and tool-belt with no shirt? Damn…
And this is what I’m currently settling down to…
Fake Wings by Yuki Kajiura
[quote]Beast27195 wrote:
But, on to the work, I suppose. Sorry for that bit of rambling. Not really what you all want to read, I’m sure.
[/quote]
Not True.
And pic of Beast in jeans with toolbelt is a must
[quote]Beast27195 wrote:
[quote]ThePerfectDrug wrote:
lol you’re an addict…just cant say no to the sanctuary, eh? well…Im fighting it right now myself. I guees tonight I’ll try and fix my shower drain, toilet seat, ghetto curtains…[/quote]
I tried the calisthenic thing, and I’ll be in there ALL DAMN DAY trying to get something out of it worthwhile!! And I thought the curtains were on the “Honey-Do” list? Powertools and stuff? lol. So…I don’t get to wear my jeans and tool-belt with no shirt? Damn…[/quote]
hey! these are separate issues…the power tools were for YOUR OWN benefit! 
“Puff-it always rubs me the wrong way when I hear people speak about their aversion to violence. While I’m not out looking to fight/maim/kill everything in sight, I’m not averse to engaging, should the need arise. My question for you is: what would your reaction be if your family were threatened with violence? I’m not asking this to be mean or a dick, I honestly am curious about this.”
^I might look like this.
I hope I could go Rambo, but I’ve never had the necessity to find out. Actually, I tend to keep my head in an emergency. I don’t know how to “get over” my reaction. I seriously get a little queasy, and my heart starts pumping. I suppose it makes my own “fight or flight” response engage. If someone were coming a my kids, I think I’d go nuts. That’s the mother bear instinct kicking in.
You’ve probably been playing rough, and wrestling since you were a tiny beast. Now you’ve had lots of training, both in martial arts and in the military. I’ve had none of that kind of preparation. I do know how to shoot a firearm but I’m a target practice person so I don’t know if I would keep a clear head if there was someone in my home. You asked for honesty.
[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
“Puff-it always rubs me the wrong way when I hear people speak about their aversion to violence. While I’m not out looking to fight/maim/kill everything in sight, I’m not averse to engaging, should the need arise. My question for you is: what would your reaction be if your family were threatened with violence? I’m not asking this to be mean or a dick, I honestly am curious about this.”
^I might look like this.
I hope I could go Rambo, but I’ve never had the necessity to find out. Actually, I tend to keep my head in an emergency. I don’t know how to “get over” my reaction. I seriously get a little queasy, and my heart starts pumping. I suppose it makes my own “fight or flight” response engage. If someone were coming a my kids, I think I’d go nuts. That’s the mother bear instinct kicking in.
You’ve probably been playing rough, and wrestling since you were a tiny beast. Now you’ve had lots of training, both in martial arts and in the military. I’ve had none of that kind of preparation. I do know how to shoot a firearm but I’m a target practice person so I don’t know if I would keep a clear head if there was someone in my home. You asked for honesty. [/quote]
This had me laughing out loud! As for the question, thanks for answering, although in looking at it again, I feel a lil dickish. I need to remember that not everyone has had to fight, or came up with that mentality. I’ll write more about this thru a PM, though.
For now, it’s time for me to let off a good bit of steam.
your almost outta there!!
Not soon enough!
There’s a mixture of amusement and annoyance that is hitting me in these final days out here. It’s as though, now that I’m getting shorter and shorter, the folks that work inside decide, “oh, NOW’s a good time to drop a bunch of bullshit on SGT D’s lap with a short suspense!!” I look forward to the looks on their faces when I drop it all on their heads sooner than expected. Then just bounce.
I’m so done with this group I work with, it’s not even funny any longer. From this, to a Freudian Slip of epic proportions, to just wasting my time, sooo ready to walk away and not look back. There is a saying on one of the demotivational posters that in all of your bad or failed relationships, the only constant is you. Well, I thought long and hard on that one, and actually attempted to be a “team player.” Hard to do when the team shows that you’re not welcome.
I’d have to say, this whole deployment was a huge failure for that very reason. Hell, so far, my decision to move to Germany has been a complete disaster up to this point. Wanting to start over, new unit, new team, new adventure over here, I was truly excited. Upon arrival and meeting my new supervisor, I was an open book. I told her from the get-go about my past issues, and what I wanted to accomplish.
I was truly motivated to be a part of the team. The reception was lukewarm, at best. Naturally, I was a stranger, so I had to prove myself. Well…it’d be all fine and dandy if I didn’t have a constant roadblock in my way, in the form of a coworker who didn’t know how to back off and let me lead the soldiers placed in my charge. As this continued, I dealt with him directly. No change. Took it to my supervisor. No change.
Soldiers begin going around me to him. I raised hell. No change. In every incident, I would make sure I did the right thing, by the book, before handing people their asses. I would bring it to my supervisor’s attention. No change. Never a fucking change. It was as though I was literally the black sheep. Everytime something would go down, it’s on me. When my roadblocking coworker would fuck something up, it would fall on my shoulders for some strange reason.
If there was conflict, which there ALWAYS was, it was my burden to bear and rectify. This literally led to my breakdown last year, where I had to become a member of the much maligned combat stress crew. No changes. Never any changes. Even yesterday, when I asked for info regarding an event taking place this summer. Supervisor had the audacity to ask if I received the info from the roadblocking coworker, who RARELY shared any info with me.
I was THIS CLOSE (holding thumb and index finget a cm apart) to asking her “WTH do you think???” This reaction comes even after being put BACK on Seroquel. This is one of the first times when I can say with complete conviction, that these people failed ME. Never have I felt so much disgust for a group before now. It’s a pity, really. *stepping off soapbox now.
In light of these thoughts and feelings, and with my body finally adjusted to the new addition to my nightly drug cocktail, I had a pretty “spirited” training session this evening. But first, I’ll put in this morning’s work.
7 April 2011
Morning
OH Press
115 x 10 x 10
I attempted to put in some more work following this, however, my shoulders said “fuck you!” and cramped hard on me. Message received.
Evening
Squats
225 x 10 x 10
(90s rest between sets)
Kettlebell Swings (2 hands)
32kg x 10 x 5
(1 min rest btwn sets)
Broad Jumps
BW x ~60-70ft
Deep Lunges (similar to taking a shot in wrestling)
BW x ~60-70ft
OH Dumbbell Press
55 x 10 x 3
Shoulders let me know how unhappy they were with me after the third set.
Stretching.
Now, to take care of some stuff. Like clearing out my AO and “fixing” this bullshit book.
“He does his work by the light of the moon.”
Indicative of my mood at the moment.
Hi Beast I am visiting your thread.
I liked the boxing match are there more in this thread? I didn’t check the whole thing. Hopefully things(job) get better when you are in Germany.
[quote]ThePerfectDrug wrote:
[/quote]
Pretty good tune. Especially the parts where she talks about getting high. And I’m in a better mood. Have been since yesterday. Thank you for the additional boost. Now it’s time to do stuff.
Checkin in on resident big man. What’s up, buddy?
For some reason, that video interview of you pre-fight…you sound exactly like how I thought you’d sound.
Oh, and don’t you and Alpha (other military dude on here) technically do the same thing/have similar roles?
[quote]PonceDeLeon wrote:
Checkin in on resident big man. What’s up, buddy?
For some reason, that video interview of you pre-fight…you sound exactly like how I thought you’d sound.
Oh, and don’t you and Alpha (other military dude on here) technically do the same thing/have similar roles?[/quote]
That’s news to me (the Alpha thing). I’ll have to see.
Keeping this one pretty short, as I want to get to bed soon. Not a bad day, overall. Packed up my stuff, loaded it all into a shipping container, and mailing the last of my shit tomorrow. I’ll be living out of my dufflebag for the next couple of weeks. I’m feeling a touch of anxiety at this point. Ready to pop smoke…
10 April 2011
Morning
3 Rounds
Jumprope x 2:00
25 Pushups
25 Situps
25 Squats
5 Rounds
Jabs x 2:00
Straights/Crosses x 2:00
Left Hooks x 2:00
Jab/Cross x 2:00
Jab/Cross/Hook x 2:00
Abs
Evening
Bench Press
135 x 10 x 1
225 x 10 x 1
315 x 5 x 10
(as I stated above, got a case of the nerves/b-flies working me over, so I decided to go heavy)
Heavybag
Kicking Combinations x 20 minutes
For the next week or so, as I begin transitioning back to Germany, I will be making my sessions shorter and working with heavy shit. I figure, heavy core lift, then a BW exercise, followed by some finishers that I can do in uniform. Might not mail my gloves and wraps, instead, just keeping them with me. Tschuss.
Safe travels!!!
Thanks, MiM! So far, a third of this journey is complete, as I am sitting down on KAF now. Just in time for an incoming dust storm!! The air was getting worse and worse the closer we got here. Thankful we made it when we did.
The week has been a bit tiresome as I’d been running around all over the FOB, and last night, I had planned on getting some squats in, however, with more running around, and too much time since my last meal, hunger and the shakes got the best of me. So, upon leaving here, I’ll be getting it on! I’ll update after that. More to follow later, all!