It’s like I always said “the fat ones are more comfortable!”
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I swear it’s the irrational fear that people are mocking and judging you that you get in childhood.
My two best friends are respectively on the larger and skinnier side. Neither has ever lifted at all in their lives and both talk a lot about wanting to make a real change and put weight on/lose fat respectively. Even at 31/32 I’ve no doubt they’d make great noob gains.
Problem is I don’t think either can get past the idea of heading into the gym and knowing for sure that they’re pretty weak (as opposed to suspecting it but being able to ignore it because they’re still stronger than their girlfriends). With one of them the failure would also be a potentially insurmountable point.
Some people are paralyzed by the idea that the people around them will be observing and judging which by and large is simply not the case (So long as you hit the gym at the right time anyway…).
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When I started lifting at 43 years old. I started benching with 95lbs. I felt like a total pussy. I squatted 115. 135 for deadlifts was heavy, and 65 for OHP was a challenge for 5-8 reps. I never thought I would be anywhere close to strong, but I kept going.
7 months later my numbers are decent but far from strong
Bench 1rm lifted: 230
Squat: 275
DL : 405
OHP: 165
They are younger and have longer to progress. Tell them to get their weak ass in the gym and give themselves a chance.
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I always like to explain to these people that they don’t need to lift. Most people get in shape to improve self-esteem, but if you already think you are SO important that the whole world is constantly watching and judging you, your self-esteem must be through the roof. I tend to assume I am so insignificant that I am practically invisible to strangers.
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I’d rather be judged in the gym than to fail miserably in life when it mattered.
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Must be a personality thing. When I was like 12 I got nearly guillotined when the second rep of a 95lb bench stapled me at the local Y.
Giant adult dude runs over and picks the weight up off me. “You can’t be doing that shit little man, you’re gonna get hurt. You need a spotter and use a weight you can handle. Plus that’s not how you bench anyway, everything you did was wrong.”
“Oh, sorry. What’s the right way to bench?”
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Just one more reason to wrestle as a youth. When you get spladled in front of everyone, in your little spandex tights at 13, nothing sillier can ever happen to you.
Embarassed because I missed a lift? You must have not seen the time that big bully made me tea-bag myself, and everybody cheered as I was Stuck.
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Your wrestling example speaks to a larger overall context -participating in competitive sports (Early!!) is so beneficial; one of the best being, going right back at it after getting your butt whooped.
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For me, failing a lift was inconceivable. I would never put myself in that position, and it showed in my progress, or lack thereof.
Watching @MarkKO get stapled on a squat made a difference for me. I fail OHP regularly now, but still am too intimidated to ask for a spot on the bench - it’s too embarrassing to fail a 210 single. But squats, and OHP, where failure isn’t as catastrophic and can easily be accomplished without a spotter, different story now - although, I still haven’t failed a squat other than cutting it off too high.
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Agreed to both points.
- Most people could get in decent shape doing calisthenics and a form of cardio that they enjoy. It’s free and easy.
- People are becoming increasing more narcissistic in the advent of social media. Think about all of these goddamn selfies they take. If someone turned the camera and took a picture of themselves in the 90s, everyone around would laugh at them. Now there’s fat middle-agged house moms videoing their trips to target and posting it online like their lives are interesting and they are in a reality show. YOU DON’T MATTER. GIVE UP.
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Happy to help @The_Myth 
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I train in the garage on my own, so learning how to dump the bar safely when you get pinned in the bottom was a must for me. That and safeties on for bench. Then you can push hard and not worry about the odd failed rep.
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Never understood the whole “learning to fail squat” thing personally. Every time I have failed squats, it was super intuitive. Heck; gravity does most the work, haha.
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I ate an absurd, embarrassing, childish amount of Easter candy this weekend.
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Not for me. First time I fell backwards and cracked my head on the bar. The second time I got stuck in the hole and thought “hmmm, now what?” Haha
I imagine you figured something out that second time right? Or have you been posting on this forum from the bottom of a squat ever since?
…please be the latter.
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Post of the day… lmao
I started taking secret soviet weight loss supplements recently. Today, someone asked if I’m natty. I said yes… so, I think I might be a fake-natty now.
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I use the same supplement as you on occassion. I’ve been a fake natty since I was 5yrs old or maybe even younger.
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Agree, I didn’t say I wasn’t learning on the job!!