Clouds sitting up in the air plotting
“So Bill, we attack tomorrow.”
“Yes… Tomorrow.”
…
“I mean it this time!”
“I do too!”
Priest: “You may now kiss the bride.”
Peter: “Kiss her?! I am going to destroy her!”
Racist sunflower to Cleveland,
Racist Sunflower: “Hey boy! Don’t you come walking by this house!”
Cleveland: “You’re ignorant!”
No words to quote but this bits ace!
From “Women in the workplace” public service announcement (1956):
Narrator: "Irrational and emotionally fragile by nature, female coworkers are a peculiar animal. They are very insecure about their appearance. Be sure to tell them how good they look everyday; even if they’re homely and unkept.
And remember, nothing says good job like a firm open palmed slap on the behind."
Peter: Brian, there’s a message in my alphabets. It says, “oooooo”.
Brian: Peter those are Cheerios.
Meg: Hey Dad. Check out my abstinence ring. It means I made a pledge not to have sex.
Peter: That’s crazy! You can’t give up sex, you’ve got a responsibility. You see Meg, you’re what they call a practice girl.
tom tucker: …ill tell you what else is going to be examined…(reaches under desk) this cock…(pulls rooster from under desk) yes its national cock awareness day - dont know why they went with such a sensational name they could have easily used ‘rooster’…"
peter: education is important - so people can program there VCR’s without spilling piping hot gravy all over myself.
From Padre De Familia-
Lois: Peter, what the hell are you doing?!
Peter: Lois, I am doing my duty as a patriotic American! I’m sacrificing a goat to Toby Keith
All over a coupon…
Peter: Look Lois, the two symbols of the Republican party: an elephant, and a big fat white guy who’s threatened by change.
Darren on Bewitched: The power of Christ compels you bitch!
Stewie: You, cut my eggs!
Waiter: (cuts eggs) Your eggs are cut sir.
Stewie: Now cut my milk!
Waiter: Ah, I can’t sir, it’s liquid.
Stewie: Idiot! Freeze it, then cut it. And if you ever question me again I shall put you on diaper duty. And believe me, I will not make it easy on you.
Bully: Hey! You’re blocking my light you stupid baby!
Stewie: You know, my hooligan friend, I’ve been racking my brain in a thus far fruitless attempt to resolve our recent unpleasantness, and then it dawned on me. Your cruelty merely stems from some deep seeded inner pain, and so the obvious remedy is a healthy dose of OUTER PAIN!
“the guv’ment stole my baby!!”
“…and that side boob. That’s my side boob.”
Peter: Well, I’m gettin’ something really special too. And by special I don’t mean special like that Kleinaman boy down the street. More special like… like Special K, the cereal.
Hey, what do they do with the regular K? And for that matter, what ever happend to K. Ballard? You know, if you said mallard and you had a cold, it would sound like ballard.
Brian: Do you listen to yourself when you talk?
Peter: I drift in and out
Stewie: What are the stakes of this wager?
Brian: Why don’t you just shut up for about a week?
Stewie: Excellent, and if I win?
Brian: I wasn’t betting. Why don’t you just shut up for about a week?
Stewie (pause): You’re on.